"There's only one thing that would hurt Kurt, and you know it."
"You aren't talking about..."
"That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about."
Stephanie sighed as she sat there, in a bridal boutique, waiting to do her second fitting for her dress. She hadn't gotten to talk to Chris in days because Hunter and her mother, and these damn wedding plans were getting in the way. Chris was her way out, the only thing that kept her sane nowadays and it had been five days since she had seen him. She was about to grab a knife and start chopping people up if she didn't see Chris.
"So Stephanie, how did the dress fit last time you tried it on?" her mother asked.
Stephanie shook herself out of her reverie and smiled prettily, "It was fine Mom. But I understand why we have to do another one, there would be nothing worse than going to my wedding in a dress that doesn't fit."
"God forbid!"
Stephanie stood up and walked around the boutique, looking at various dresses they had hanging elegantly from the walls. She hated her dress. It was big and poofy and just all around ugly. She had let her mother pick it out though, because at the time she hadn't cared what it looked like. She turned her head and saw a beautiful dress. She walked over to it and fingered the material lightly; it was silk. She imagined herself in this dress, rather than the cotton ball she was supposed to get married in.
"Mom, what do you think of this dress," Stephanie said as she turned to her mother.
Linda looked at it, "That's not a wedding dress, that's just an evening gown, you can't get married in that."
"You're right," Stephanie said, turning back to the dress. She scowled; she would look fabulous in that dress. She could already tell that it would accentuate all her curves. But far be it for her to actually have a say in anything around here. Better this way, because she wasn't investing anything into this marriage.
She looked at the dress one last time and went back to sit with her mother. The people were finally ready and she went to put the dress on and get it fitted again, just in case she got fat over the past few weeks. She sighed as she put that dress on; she looked like a pillow. Chris would laugh at her if he ever saw her in this thing.
After the fitting, she parted ways with her mother, glad that she could be alone for a while. She was supposed to go to dinner with Hunter tonight, but she would just cancel that. Say she had PMS or something. She couldn't say she was sick, or Hunter would come over here like some damned nurse and try to nurse her back to health or some shit like that. The last thing she needed was him poring over her every move. She hated his guts so much and she wished that she could push him down a stairwell or something. The fantasies of ways she could kill him were getting less violent and more practical.
She cracked her neck as she walked into her house. She threw her keys down angrily on the counter in her kitchen and grabbed the phone. She took a moment to compose herself and get into her proper mood to pull this off. She didn't want Hunter to suspect anything about her, or this whole thing could go straight down the drain. Finally, she dialed his number and put a cheesy grin on her face.
"Hello?"
"Hunter, baby, it's me," she said kindly.
"Baby, hey, we still on for tonight?"
"Actually baby, I'm not feeling well," she said, deeply sighing as if she were in pain, "And I wanted to cancel, if that's ok with you? It is right?"
"What's wrong?" Hunter asked worriedly, ready to rush over there at a moment's notice. Stephanie could tell what he was thinking and tried to think of something that wouldn't put him on edge enough to come over. She really needed a moment's peace.
"I just have a headache, I had to go to another fitting today and it was just a really big hassle, they had to take the dress in a little and I'm just so tired."
"How about I come over there with some of your favorite take-out, Thai?"
She rolled her eyes, she didn't even like Thai, she liked Italian. Leave it to him to screw
even that up, "No baby, you enjoy yourself tonight, I'm going to be very boring."
"Are you sure? I can be over in twenty minutes."
"I'm sure you could, but baby, I think we can spend one night apart don't you?"
"I can, but I don't like to."
"Well just think, soon you'll be seeing me every night," Stephanie said, pretending to be excited about it. She studied her fingernails; she was going to need a manicure soon.
"I can't wait for that."
"Me too," she said dully, maybe she'd go get a manicure tomorrow, "So I'll talk to you tomorrow, and no dropping by unexpectedly or I'm slamming the door in your face."
"Fine, fine," he laughed, "I'll see you tomorrow, I love you."
"Me too," she said, "Love you."
She hung up after that and sighed, finally relieved to be free, at least for the evening. She wondered what she would have for dinner. She couldn't go and gain weight, her mother said, watch what you eat, you don't want to be a balloon when you walk down the aisle. Maybe it was better if she was a balloon, that way she could just float away and not have to deal with anyone anymore.
She heard clapping behind her and swung around to stare right into Chris Jericho's eyes.
"Beautiful acting," he said, clapping loudly, "Simply wonderful."
"What are you doing here?" she asked, glaring at him with a fire in her eyes.
"Came to see you, I was afraid after not seeing you for several days that either you had dropped off the face of the planet, or had gone back to being little Miss Priss."
"Neither one of those."
"Well, I know that now, so tell me about the wedding dress, I'm anxious to know what the pretty Stephanie McMahon will be walking down the aisle wearing."
"Did anyone see you come here? If someone saw you, they could tell my family, or Hunter, and then we'd be screwed, did you even think about that!"
"Of course, which is why I took a taxi here and went in through the back door, that's why you gave me the key," he said, casually holding up the key for her to see.
"Ok, fine, I'm fine, everything is fine!"
"The dress?"
"It's ugly," she replied with an eye-roll, "It's ugly and puffy and I look horrible in it, and yet my mother says I look fucking beautiful, I'd rather walk down the aisle naked that in that hideous monstrosity."
"I'd opt for the naked to, if you're trying to think of things."
She pulled off her shirt and let it fall to the ground, "I was so uncomfortable in that thing."
"You looked it," he said, mock seriously, "And the pants, they look constricting."
She tried to unbutton her top button and pretended like she couldn't get it undone. She looked up at Chris innocently, "Seems like I'm having some problems, I might need a big, strong man to help me get them off, do you know of one?"
"I think I can find one."
He came over to her and unbuttoned it easily, looking up at her with his eyebrows raised like he was surprised they even opened. She shrugged and grabbed his hands, putting them on her hips. He ran his large hands inside her pants and then slid his hands down her hips, taking the pants down with him.
"Well, would you look at that," she said, "You got it undone."
"That I did...and I've got some Italian food in the living room, care to join me?"
"My favorite," she said with a smile, "We have some things to talk about anyways."
She stepped out of the pants and followed him into the living room. She looked at the spread and saw all her favorites. She sat down on the over-stuffed couch and grabbed a plate and started loading up. Maybe she should deliberately try to gain weight so she wouldn't have to wear that horrible dress.
"So do you and Hunter have wedding rings?" he asked as they sat there.
"No, what does that matter?"
"Well, you know how we're doing that thing to Kurt, with the taking and stuff?" he said.
"Of course," she said, "What about--"
"Yup."
"No, you're not suggesting," she said, giving him an incredulous look, "You want to?"
He nodded, "It'd be fitting now wouldn't it?"
She looked down and then up again, "I don't know where you come up with some of this stuff."
"I could tell you, but are you sure you want to delve that deep into my mind?"
She smirked and laughed as they finalized the plan they had for Kurt. At first it seemed rather simple, but now they actually had to think about it. Stephanie would never admit it, but she always had fun around Chris, even when they were just plotting. Why couldn't Hunter have been like this? Or maybe he was, but he was playing for the wrong side, if you didn't work with her, you were against her, and that was going to be Hunter's downfall.
The next Monday, Stephanie was walking down the hallway, thinking about what she was going to have to do. Tonight was going to be all on her, and she was the one who had to pull this off. Chris was the decoy, the distraction while she actually did the dirty work. She thought it'd be fun.
"I'm glad you're feeling better," Hunter said as he joined her side.
"Oh yes, much," she said, kissing his cheek, "Thank you for understanding."
"Next time though, I want to be the one to make you feel better," he whispered into her ear.
She looked up at him, "I'd love that."
"You want me to go get you some food or something."
Now was the perfect opportunity to make sure that Chris was keeping Kurt distracted. Then she could do her part of the thing and be done with it for the rest of the night. She nodded to Hunter and told him exactly what she wanted. As he walked away, she had to make sure that Chris was taking care of Kurt. She figured he was because he had told her that he would take care of him all evening.
She walked down to Kurt's locker room and knocked loudly. There was no answer and she knocked again just in case. Again there was no answer and no movement that she could hear from the inside. That was a good sign. She looked both ways down the hallway and didn't see anyone. Figuring the coast was clear, she walked casually away from the door and slipped in through the door next to Kurt's. She had deliberately put nobody in here because this door had an adjoining door to Kurt's locker room.
She walked over to the door that she knew led to Kurt's locker room. Taking the keys she had taken from her father, she unlocked the door carefully, not making too much noise and opened Kurt's locker room door open slowly. She peeked inside and saw that nobody was around. Going in fully, she went over to the bench next to some lockers. There, sitting, just as she had suspected was his gold medals. She didn't know why he still brought those around. Maybe he thought it'd help him score with the ladies. Whatever it was, she didn't have time to ponder it as she snatched up one of the medals and quickly left the room just as she had found it.
She laughed silently as she closed the door behind her. She had worn a skirt deliberately today and pulled it up all the way to her thigh. There on her leg was a garter that she had worn especially for tonight. She stuck the medal inside her garter so it was held firmly in place. She smirked and went to the door leading back out into the hallway. Seeing that nobody was still around, or if they were, they were occupied, she slipped back out and walked back to her locker room. She leaned her head back against the couch and pretended to look in pain. Hunter walked in the room, two plates of food in hand and looked at her.
"Steph, are you ok?"
"I have a headache," she said, opening her eyes, "All these wedding arrangements are just really bogging down on me."
"Oh Steph," Hunter said, putting the food down and sitting next to her, slipping his arm around her shoulder, "It'll all be over soon."
She looked at him, oh, truer words were never spoken, "Yeah, I know, I just, I think I need to go back to the hotel and rest."
"You want me to come with?"
"You have a match tonight," she said, "You can't let your fans down, I'll just take a taxi ride back to the hotel and after your match, which isn't that far off, since the show started about a half hour ago, you can come back to me."
"Ok, you sure you'll be fine?"
"Of course," she said, getting up and grabbing her purse, "Only a few more weeks left until we get married, I'm sure I'll manage until then."
"Good."
She left then and bit her lip, God how she hated thinking about that damn wedding. She went out to the exit of the arena. She stood out there for a few minutes before a black car with tinted windows pulled up in front of her. She got in and the car drove off. She smirked and looked over at the driver.
"Pays to have the first match doesn't it?" she asked.
"Definitely," he told her, "if only because I get to drive you around. So you got it I assume?"
"I wouldn't have been waiting out there if I hadn't would I?"
"I knew you got it as soon as I saw you walking away from his locker room," Chris told her.
"You saw me?"
"I always see you," he replied cryptically.
"That's a little bit scary," she said, reaching over to rub his arm, "Where else do you watch me?"
"That's my secret," he said, glancing over at her with a smirk.
They reached the hotel and parked in the back parking lot. Under the cover of night, nobody could see them. To make them inconspicuous Stephanie walked around to the front of the hotel and walked in through the front entryway while Chris walked in the back way. They met up at Chris's room and he let her walk inside first before going in and closing the door.
"So where is it?"
"Somewhere on me," she said with a coy smile, "But stupid me, I've forgotten where."
"So you want me to pat you down?"
"Would you?"
He shook his head and walked over to her, starting at her right leg and running them up the length of her leg, all the way up. Stephanie gave a small gasp and he took his hands off of her and went down to her left ankle. He slowly ran his hand up her leg and was met with the garter where the medal was hidden. He unhooked her garter and took the medal out holding it up triumphantly.
"You found it," she said, clapping slowly, "Where's the camera?"
Chris nodded towards the table and Stephanie went over to get it for him. Chris grabbed the medal and a blank white sheet of paper and set both on the bed, the paper underneath the medal. Stephanie turned on the light and brought over the Polaroid camera. She stood over the medal and then took the picture. Chris grabbed his gloves and grabbed the picture and dropped in the envelope he had handy.
"So tomorrow, we go to the place and then we get the rest of the pictures?"
"Yeah," he said, "Do you have to get back to your room?"
"Unfortunately, yes," she said, "But tomorrow, I'm 'shopping,' so meet me in the designated meeting spot."
"Will do."
The next day rose bright and early and Chris got up as soon as his wake-up call came. He went into the bathroom to get ready for the day. He tucked his hair into a hat, making sure none of it showed and then changed into very touristy clothes, a Hawaiian print shirt, shorts, knee high socks and sandals, with a camera around his neck. He stuck some sunglasses on and then grabbed the medal and stuck it in his pocket. He smirked as he thought of what he and Stephanie were about to do.
He left his hotel room and walked down to the lobby and out the front of the hotel. He and Stephanie were meeting a few blocks away. He walked casually down the street, pretending to take pictures like a tourist would, trying to remain incognito. He finally walked to the rendezvous point and saw Stephanie sitting on a bench. He gave a small laugh as he saw her. She was wearing a short red wig and an outfit similar to his, but more girly. They definitely looked like a couple of tourists.
"Say one word, and I grab you by the dick and pull it off," Stephanie said, walking up to him.
"I didn't say anything," he told her, then snickered, "Should we go?"
"Once you get that stupid smirk off your face," she said, pushing some of the hair out of her face, "I feel like an idiot."
"Oh come on, you're willing to do anything to get revenge, but you're not willing to wear a fucking wig?"
"You're not wearing one."
"I'm wearing a hat, there's a difference," he pointed out, "Let's go get this over with."
"Wait, give me the medal," she said and he took it out of his pocket and gave it to her. She took a pair of scissors out of her bag and proceeded to cut off the ribbon part of the medal where you put it around someone's neck.
"Are we ready now?"
"Yup."
They walked down the street to the local jeweler's that was around the corner. They discussed what they should act like and finally decided on where they should be from and what their story should be. They walked into the jeweler's and up to the man standing behind the glass counters.
"Hello," Chris said, "Ve are from what you call, France, an ve vanted you to make us new rings out of zis medal zat we bought at local…ah, how you say, pawn shop, do you do zees?"
"Yes," Stephanie said, in her accent, "Eet vas very tres beau, mais, oh, I am sorry, I speak Francais ven you speak the English. Vee want to have new rings, just the gold."
"Well, yes, we can melt anything down make them into new rings, where is the item you purchased?"
Stephanie produced the medal, "Zee man at zee shop say that it is replica, but since eet izz not zee real thing, we melt. We need two ring size seven and one five."
"Ok, this is fine."
"Vonderful," Chris said, clapping his hands, "Ven veel it be ready?"
"It should be done in a few hours, come back then and we'll have it done by then, you wanted two rings you said?"
"Tres if eet is possible," Chris said.
"Three, I think we'll be able to do that," the man said, "And your name?"
"Chevalier," Chris told the man, "Vee vill be back."
They left the medal there and walked out of the jeweler's bursting into laughter as soon as they were out the door. They went to get food and chat while they waited for their rings to be finished. When the few hours were up, they walked back to the jeweler's, hoping that the rings would be done. Fortunately, it was and they took the three rings with them.
They grabbed one of them and wiped it off so there would be no fingerprints on it whatsoever. They stuck it in the envelope with the picture of the medal itself. On the front of the envelope was Kurt's address typed with a typewriter so nobody could identify the handwriting. Stephanie took the water bottle she had bought earlier and swiped it across the envelope's seal as Chris sealed it shut. They took it to the nearest mailbox and dropped it inside, laughing as they thought of what Kurt would think when he got it.
A few days later, Kurt was going out to get his mail. One of his medals had gone missing and he had torn his entire house apart trying to look for it. He had no luck yet. He flipped through his mail and saw an interesting envelope. He stopped in his front walkway and opened it up. He pulled out the picture and saw his medal, then saw the ring. He at first didn't make the connection, but there was a note stuck inside, with the typewriter writing he opened it up.
"Enjoy the ring, your medal was so easy to melt down. It's true, it's true."
Kurt fell to his knees as the ring clattered to the ground.
Stephanie and Chris watched from across the street in their car. They figured that the letter would arrive today, since they had called the post office to ask how soon it would reach Kurt.
"Mission accomplished," Stephanie cackled. Chris smirked.
"Next."