Ich Werde Dir Immer Verzeihen
Chapter 4: Hard Feelings
It wasn't often Schuldig got so worked up over whatever that he had to take his frustration out on something. But today was an exception. He repeatedly threw his fists into a fiery red punching bag as he thought about the events of yesterday.
Sakura was beginning to mistrust him. He could see that clearly in her mind. She thought he had been cruel to Yoji and Ran. She thought he had been lying about them. She thought he was becoming jealous and possessive. She even thought he was becoming abusive.
"That stupid girl!" Schuldig screamed as he sent his right fist into the punching bag. The vivid redness of it made him think of Ran, and how the redhead held Sakura's heart in his hands. Schuldig hated the punching bag for that.
But beating it was better than beating Sakura.
Schuldig cursed himself for thinking such a thing. He was not becoming abusive. The last thing he wanted was to see Sakura hurt by anyone, least of all himself.
Then why did he slap her yesterday? Was it because he was angry? He had probably hurt her even more when he grabbed her arm forcibly. What a hypocrite Schuldig was. He hurt the girl he himself said he didn't want to see hurt.
Weiß mistrusted Schuldig. They believed he just wanted to use Sakura. He had vowed to prove them wrong. But look at what he was doing. He was becoming abusive.
It was probably the sadist in him. He did find pleasure in hurting and manipulating others. He smiled at the sight of someone screaming out in pain. He laughed whenever he caused someone's mind to snap.
Schuldig swung a kick into the punching bag. He didn't want to involve Sakura in his sadistic pleasures, but he would be lying to himself if he said he didn't enjoy it.
"What are you doing?" asked Brad Crawford, as he stepped into the workout room.
"Taking my frustration out on your punching bag," Schuldig answered as he threw a towel around his bare shoulders. He unscrewed the top of a water bottle and chugged down about half the water.
Crawford pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "Become abusive yet?" he wondered, a cruel gleam in his golden eyes. "I foresaw that you slapped Miss Sakura and then yelled at her for daring to go see Fujimiya. Has all of that come to pass yet?" He was sneering as he said all that.
Schuldig slammed the water bottle down hard. "That's none of your business," he said through gritted teeth.
Crawford smirked quietly. He stepped up to Schuldig and laid his hand on Schuldig's shoulder. "You'll never win Miss Sakura's love," Crawford whispered into the other man's ear. "She's not the one for you."
"What are you getting at?" Schuldig demanded to know, his voice sharp and cold.
Crawford shrugged his slender shoulders. "I just wanted to warn you," he admitted. "You will emotionally and physically hurt Miss Sakura when you think she wants something when it's just you who wants it." Before he could see his words sink into Schuldig's brain, he left the room.
Schuldig said nothing. He just resumed beating the stuffing out of the punching bag.
o o o o o o
Crawford stepped out of the workout room and closed the door behind him. He could easily hear Schuldig thrashing the punching bag.
"How did it go?" asked Farfarello, who was leaning against the wall while playing with a small knife.
"He still thinks he loves Miss Sakura when all he really wants is her," Crawford told the Irishman. "I warned him about my prediction."
Farfarello laughed insanely. "It wouldn't be a bad thing if Schuldig does rape that girl," he said. "This world is corrupt, after all."
Crawford chuckled lightly. "He won't actually rape her, but he'll get close," he added. "He'll convince himself that she wants to have sex with him, but it's just him that wants it."
"That'll be difficult with Sakura's thoughts invading his mind," Naoe Nagi pointed out, appearing from around the corner.
"Are you feeling sympathy for Schuldig?" Farfarello wondered, his voice mocking. "Does this remind you of that Schreient girl?"
Nagi's only response was to blast Farfarello into the wall with his telekinesis.
"Calm down, Nagi," Crawford ordered patiently. "Farfarello has a point. Are you only thinking of Tot?"
"I just think that you're getting jealous," Nagi corrected coldly. With that, he walked away, leaving the American alone with Farfarello.
"Nagi has a point, too," Farfarello noticed, licking his small knife.
"Shut up," Crawford commanded harshly. His fist was clenched up tightly. He had not told Schuldig about his prediction out of spite or jealousy. He had other, more secretive reasons for doing that, reasons he didn't want to admit to himself.
o o o o o o
Ran inhaled a deep breath and knocked on the door to Sakura's house. He had originally planned to apologize yesterday, but he had been much too tried. But now, he was ready to apologize to Sakura.
Sakura's mother answered the door. "Oh it's you," she greeted. "Fujimiya, right?"
"Yes," Ran confirmed. "I want to see your daughter. Is she here?"
"Yes, she is, but may I talk to you first?" her mother requested.
Ran nodded, and followed the older woman into the living room. They sat down on opposite chairs.
"So, what do you need?" Ran asked, breaking the short-lived silence.
Sakura's mother sighed. "Do you know of a man named Schuldig?" she wanted to know. "He came over yesterday, wanting to see Sakura. He even had a bouquet of roses."
Ran twitched uncomfortably. "I know him, but we don't have a good history together," he warned, narrowing his pale violet eyes.
"I need to know what his relationship is with Sakura," Sakura's mother admitted. "He makes me uncomfortable. I can't seem to trust him. I'm worried about Sakura."
"This is something you really should ask your daughter about," Ran pointed out coolly. "How can you trust me any more than Schuldig?"
"I don't know," the older woman confessed. "I just feel more comfortable around you."
"Okay then," Ran replied, not quite sure how that was possible. "I really don't know much about Schuldig, but I do know that he's not from Japan. Like I said before, we're not exactly 'friends.' To me, he's a manipulative sadist who enjoys using others for his own selfish pleasures."
Sakura's mother gasped as her hand went up to her face. "What does he want with Sakura?" she asked, her voice filled with worry. "Is he hurting her?"
At this point, Sakura was coming down the stairs. As soon as she saw Ran with her mother, she halted and stepped back out of sight. She had missed the first part of the conversation, but she determined to catch every word of the second half.
"I was told it wasn't a romantic relationship," Ran continued. "Sakura is only giving Schuldig a chance, so she's been going out with him for about a month. He claims he loves Sakura, but I don't believe him. Knowing Schuldig, I think he just wants to manipulate her."
Sakura couldn't remain anonymous anymore, not with Ran insulting Schuldig like that. "How would you know all that?!" she yelled to the surprised redhead. "Why do you think Schuldig-san just wants to hurt me?!"
Ran got over his surprise quickly. "Don't you remember what he did to you?" he countered, his low voice rising. "You of all people should know he's a manipulative fiend!"
"You don't know Schuldig-san at all!" Sakura screamed, her anger more obvious now. "He doesn't want to use or control me. What about you? You still see me as a substitute for your sister. But now that she's awake, you're just gonna forget about me, aren't you?" Her breathing had become quite heavy.
"I-" Ran started, but his throat closed up before he could go on. Sakura's words had hit him harder than a sludge hammer. Even if he could speak, he wouldn't have been able to find the words to say.
"Schuldig-san was right…" Sakura realized, taking a few steps backwards. "You would just end up hurting me…" She dashed up the stairs and Ran heard a door slam.
To say Ran was frustrated would have been an understatement. "I need to be leaving now," he announced stoically.
"Oh, I hope you're not mad at Sakura," her mother said. "I don't know what's gotten into her lately."
"Don't worry, it's not Sakura I'm mad at," Ran reassured as he stood up. "I'm mad at myself. I shouldn't have said all that stuff about Schuldig. I had no right to." He let out a heavy sigh. "Tell Sakura I'm sorry for what happened both yesterday and today."
"Sure," the older woman agreed, nodding her head.
Ran said nothing in reply. He left the house through the front door and walked down the sidewalk. He began cursing himself. He had never wanted to hurt Sakura, but that was all he ever did. He had pushed her away and then had cut her out of his life for two years. Sakura would never forgive him, not after all that he had done.
"Sakura, I'm so sorry…" Ran whispered quietly. He tried to focus only on walking and not what Sakura had said.
o o o o o o
"Sakura, may I talk to you?" Sakura's mother wondered as she stepped into her daughter's room.
"No," Sakura refused curtly, not even bothering to look up. She was lying in her bed with her face buried in the fluffy pillow.
Her mother sat down on the edge of the bed. "I want to ask you about Schuldig-san," she said, gently touching Sakura's shoulder.
"Ran-san was completely wrong about him," Sakura stated firmly. "Schuldig-san is a good person. He's a very close friend. He doesn't want to use me."
"Then why didn't you tell me about him?" her mother asked kindly. "Fujimiya-san told me you've been going out with him for a month. I'm not quite comfortable with that. He is some years older than you."
The young girl sat up. Her cherry blossom eyes were slightly blood-shot. "I'm sorry," she apologized, rubbing her eyes with her arm. "It's not really a romantic relationship. Schuldig-san loves me, but I don't know how I feel about him. You're not mad, are you?"
Sakura's mother shook her head. "Of course not," she reassured. "But I am your mother, so you should've told me." A soft smile came upon her lips. "Schuldig-san and Fujimiya-san must be very close friends, if they don't feel the need to put an honorific at the end of your name."
Sakura nodded, blushing faintly. "Yeah, they are," she confirmed. "I just wish they could get along."
Sakura's mother laid her hand on her daughter's brown hair. "Oh, and Fujimiya-san says he's sorry for what happened yesterday and today," she added.
"That's nice of him," Sakura commented. "But he's not entirely to blame. Schuldig-san and I hold some fault, too. I should apologize myself sometime." Although she wondered if it was too late to make up to Ran for everything that had happened since they had come back to Tokyo.
o o o o o o
"Hey, would you pretty girls like to buy some flowers?" Yoji called out to a small group of teenage girls. The trailer was open for business, and he, Ken, and Omi were selling flowers. However, Ran was still out somewhere.
"Oh, sure!" the girls agreed excitedly, running over to Yoji. He sold them several sunflowers, and when they walked off, he heard them talking about his good looks. It made Yoji smile.
"Flirting again, Yoji-kun?" Omi guessed, walking over to Yoji.
"Aw, you make it sound like a bad thing," Yoji replied jokingly.
Omi chuckled. "But then those girls might get the wrong idea."
"Omi, I'm insulted! Do I really seem like the type to take advantage of a bunch of underage girls?"
"Of course not. You prefer girls over eighteen."
The two started laughing. They were actually having a good day. They weren't as worried about Sakura as they had been. Ran had sworn he would protect her.
Seeing Yoji and Omi happy made Ken happy. For some time they had been depressed and moody, especially Yoji. It was nice to see them back to their old selves. After all, they weren't assassins anymore.
If only it was so simple for Ken. He knew that he should've been thankful, but he wasn't. His hands still felt bloodstained, and he had washed them to the point were the skin would be torn off if he continued to do so. Somehow, he didn't want this peaceful life. Murderers such as himself didn't deserve such things. The sadistic part of his mind missed the life of the assassin.
Soon Ken saw Ran walked towards the trailer. Ken was about to give Ran a warm welcome, but thought better of it when he saw how angry Ran seemed. But Ken couldn't not say anything, either. "Ran, what's wrong?" he asked as he walked over to Ran.
"Nothing," Ran answered coldly as he pushed Ken out of his way. "I'm fine." He stormed into the trailer and slammed the door behind him.
In frustration, Ken kicked the ground. Nothing good could last forever, not even something as simple as a nice day. Something always had to ruin it for Ken.
o o o o o o
Schuldig pulled his red car up in front of the Kitty in the House. He wanted to ask Sakura something as well as to see how she was doing. It would've been easier to just go to her house, but he could clearly see that her mother wasn't all that trusting of him. He stepped out of his car and walked into the flower shop. The only person he saw was Aya.
"Hello, what do you need?" Aya cheerfully welcomed Schuldig. "Hey, you're Sakura-chan's friend, aren't you?" she added once she realized who Schuldig was.
"Yeah, I am," Schuldig confirmed. "I take it she isn't here right now?"
Aya shook her head. "Should I tell her you came over?" she asked.
Schuldig sighed. "Nah, don't bother," he decided. "I'll go see if she's at home." He turned around to leave, but then he found himself face-to-face with Sakura.
"Oh, hi Schuldig-san," Sakura greeted, mildly surprised.
"Sakura, I was just looking for you," Schuldig told her. "I was just wondering if you wanted to go to a dance club with me." He winked slyly. "It'll be fun."
"Well, uh…" Sakura blushed madly.
"It's not that type of club," Schuldig rectified, seeing what the girl was thinking. "It's a club for teenagers."
Sakura felt very silly. "Oh," she replied dumbly. "Well, of course I would like to go with you."
Schuldig smiled. "I'll pick you up at six," he promised. He bent over and lightly kissed Sakura's cheek. "See you then." He stepped past the young girl and left the flower shop.
Aya gently laid her hands on Sakura's shoulders from behind. "He seemed friendly," the blue-haired girl noticed, grinning teasingly. "Is he your boyfriend?"
Sakura blushed even more. "No, no," he isn't!" she corrected hastily. "He's just a really close friend!"
"Sakura-chan…" Aya replied. Now that she had met Schuldig, she wasn't as worried about her brown-haired friend. Schuldig seemed to be really nice to Sakura, and it didn't appear that he had any intention of hurting her. Still, Aya had this uncomfortable feeling in her gut about Schuldig that she couldn't quite explain.