Ich Werde Dir Immer Verzeihen
Disclaimer: I don't own the songs "Beat of the Rising Sun" by Dave Rodgers or "Fly to Me to the Moon & Back" by The Spiders From Mars. (Need to mention that since I'm borrowing a few lyrics for this chapter.) Nor do I own the songs "Night & Day" by Mr. Groove (used in Chapter 6) or "Remember Me" by Leslie Parrish (used in Chapter 7). And I'm only borrowing the lyrics for certain parts. None of the chapters are songfics.
Chapter 5: Beat Of Love
Sakura hummed softly to herself as she brushed her hair. She wanted to look nice for Schuldig today. She was dressed in a sleeveless red shirt with a turtleneck collar and a black skirt that rose a few inches above her knees. The noon sun shone through the window of her bedroom brightly enough that she didn't need to have any artificial lights on.
She reached out and touched her mirror. She remembered how Schuldig had slapped her back at the café. She thought she would be mad at him, but she wasn't. Maybe it was because she understood why he had been angry. Still, that didn't mean she welcomed him hurting her.
She laid her head back. It was Ran she was mad at. She still hadn't forgiven him for what he had said about Schuldig. However, she also felt guilty about what she had said. She had probably hurt Ran even more. In fact, she almost half-believed he had left Tokyo because of that. But she hoped that wasn't true. She still wanted to see him some more.
"Ran-san…" Sakura whispered quietly, touching the golden rod in her left ear. She turned her head, and saw someone standing outside her window on the balcony.
The man was tall and slender, and he was dressed in a creamy-white business suit. He had neatly combed dark hair and golden eyes concealed behind thin-rimmed glasses. He was none other than Brad Crawford of Schwarz.
"Well, aren't you going to let me in?" Crawford requested, smirking.
Sakura's heart was racing. What was Crawford doing here? Her hands became sweaty as she clutched her brush tighter. She wondered if she should let Crawford inside. She could always scream if he tried to hurt her.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity to both Sakura and Crawford, the young girl stood up and unlocked the window to open it for him.
"Took you long enough," Crawford snapped as he walked into the bedroom.
Sakura backed as far away as she could from Crawford. "W-What do you want?" she stuttered nervously, her back up against the wall.
Crawford stepped up to Sakura and leaned over her. "Tell me, what do you think of Schuldig?" he wondered, a cruel shine in his eyes.
"Well, he's sweet to me, and he doesn't seem like a bad person," Sakura answered, her voice shaky.
Crawford grinned wickedly. "I agree with you about the latter, but the former…?" His body crushed against Sakura's as he seized her throat. His grip was loose enough for her to breathe normally, but firm enough to force her to look up at him. "Is that what you really believe?" he replied heatedly.
Sakura was growing scared. "Get away from me!" she ordered harshly, trying to push Crawford away from her.
Crawford tightened his grip on Sakura's throat, completely cutting off her air. "Scream, and I'll kill you," he warned, dead serious. "Understand?"
Sakura nodded, unable to speak. Her face was appearing a bit colorless.
Crawford loosened his grip only slightly. "You think I'm hurting you now?" he assumed. "This is nothing compared to what Schuldig will do. He's only going to hurt you."
"How would you know?" Sakura forced out, her lungs burning. "You're not a telepath like Schuldig-san!"
Crawford shoved Sakura harder against the wall as he continued to squeeze her throat. "Remember, I'm the one who can see glimpses of the future," he hissed into Sakura's ear.
Sakura struggled to breathe as she clawed at the hand that was crushing her windpipe. Crawford had completely lost his cool; he now appeared angry and infuriated as he persisted on choking Sakura.
Finally Crawford just threw Sakura to the floor. With his hand still clutching her neck, he bent over her and held his face close to hers. "Listen, I couldn't care less about you," he began, his voice low and harsh. "If only you would be hurt, then I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't give it a second thought if Schuldig raped you. This is your last warning. Stay away from Schuldig." He roughly released Sakura's throat and backed away.
"You…" Sakura hissed, trying to get back on her feet. She massaged her throat as she breathed heavily.
"You won't listen to me?" Crawford assumed mockingly. "Well, don't blame me when you're hurt by Schuldig." With that, he let himself out and closed the window behind him.
"Jerk!" Sakura screamed as she pulled the window shades shut. She was clenching them so tightly that her hands began to hurt. She slid down to her knees as she cursed herself. She didn't want to believe Crawford, but in the farthest reaches of her mind, a part of her did believe him.
o o o o o o
"Farfarello, what are you doing?" Schuldig asked as he stepped into the main room. It was large, but quite empty. On one side was a long, worn couch, and on the other side was an old television set. Besides that, the room seemed like it would be used for storage.
Farfarello was lying on the couch. He was cleaning the thin knife hidden in his glove by licking it. "Hurting God," he answered vaguely, not bothering to look up at Schuldig. "That's what you expect me to say. You can be rather narrow-minded sometime."
"By licking a knife?" Schuldig assumed, ignoring Farfarello's insult. "That's just pathetic. But, I guess your thoughts are annoying enough. By the way, do you know where Crawford is?"
Farfarello shrugged his muscular shoulders. "Don't know," he admitted, more interested in his knife.
Schuldig groaned. Farfarello was lying, but the idea of going through all his insane thoughts just to get the truth nearly gave Schuldig a headache. "I know you're lying, so just tell me the truth," Schuldig ordered firmly.
"Why don't you read my mind?" Farfarello countered, smiling crazily. "Don't thoughts taste like honey?"
"Not yours," Schuldig corrected, growing more frustrated. "You're just some insane freak way too obsessed with hurting God!"
Farfarello retracted his knife back into his fingerless glove. "You really are narrow-minded. I have my reasons for hating God, just as you have your reasons for loving that Sakura girl," he explained, his voice impassive. "God killed my family, and Sakura is special to you."
Schuldig sighed. Farfarello was just being spiteful, he noticed. Still, Sakura was special to him. Just not in the way Farfarello was thinking. "Sometimes, you really do scare me," Schuldig pointed out.
"You're not the first to say that," Farfarello reminded stoically.
Schuldig looked up at the clock. It was almost six. He would have to leave now if he wanted to pick Sakura up on time. "If Crawford asks where I went, tell him he should've predicted it," Schuldig requested.
"Sure," Farfarello agreed indifferently.
Schuldig halted at the door. "Hey Farfarello, maybe in a few days I could treat you with a trip to a nearby church," he said, a smirk forming on his lips. "I hear the priest is passionately devoted to God."
"I'd like that," Farfarello accepted, grinning crazily. "It sounds fun."
"I'm sure it would be." Without another word, Schuldig had left the room.
Farfarello looked to where Schuldig had been standing, and then grinned evilly. Schuldig was acting kind of like Nagi. But, unlike Nagi, Schuldig had a sadistic gleam in his blue eyes. Sakura wouldn't have to end up with the same fate as Tot, Farfarello thought. Schuldig already had this going the way Crawford had predicted. Schuldig would deal with this "problem" by himself.
o o o o o o
Omi knocked on the door to Ran's room. "Ran-kun, are you hungry?" he asked in a cheerful voice. "I brought you some rice balls."
"Go away," was Ran's curt reply.
"C'mon, you've been in your room all morning!" Omi urged. "You have to eat something!"
"Leave him alone, Omi," Ken ordered. "He's just acting like a spoiled brat."
Omi looked down at the tray of rice balls he was holding. "But I'm worried about him…" he confessed.
Ken laid his hand on Omi's shoulder. "Don't be worried," he suggested gently. "Ran's just worked up over Schuldig and Sakura. He'll get over it."
Omi sighed and looked away. "If you say so," he replied. He turned around and went back towards the main section of the trailer.
"Yeah, if I say so," Ken repeated softly, leaning against the wall. He also let out a heavy sigh. While he would never admit it, he was probably the most worried about Ran.
Ran wasn't just "worked up" over Schuldig and Sakura. The truth was that it was eating him up from the inside. Although it was quite possible that he himself did not realize this, Ran held strong feelings towards Sakura. Those were what were hurting him the most.
"Ran…" Ken whispered softly. He desired nothing more right now than to help Ran. What hurt Ken was that Ran didn't accept his help.
o o o o o o
"C'mon Sakura, don't be shy," Schuldig requested as he and Sakura stepped out of his car. "We're here to have fun." The two were in the small parking lot of a nearby dance club.
"Of course," Sakura agreed, smiling uneasily. Schuldig had noticed that her thoughts were more random than usual, as if she was trying to hide something.
Schuldig took Sakura's hand into his and kissed her cheek. "Relax," Schuldig suggested calmly. "You're giving me a headache with all those random thoughts."
Schuldig led Sakura down the stairs to the entrance of the dance club. The inside was quite lively. People were dancing wildly as loud music played and bright lights flashed. There was a small section for refreshments to the far left.
"I'll get drinks," Schuldig decided. "Go find a table for us."
"Sure," Sakura agreed. She spotted an empty table in the corner and went for it.
Schuldig sighed. Sakura's random, Farfarello-like thoughts were making him feel uncomfortable. He stepped over to the refreshment counter and ordered two iced teas. Once he had the drinks, he went over to join Sakura at the empty table.
"Thanks," Sakura said, accepting the iced tea.
Schuldig sat down across from Sakura. "Sakura, I need to talk to you," he said. "Through all your random thoughts, I can see something about Crawford. Tell me, what did he do to you?"
Sakura tightened her grip on the glass. She remained silent.
"Sakura, if you don't tell me, I'll just look into your thoughts," Schuldig threatened. "I don't care if they give me a headache."
Sakura turned her face away. "He came to see me earlier," she began nervously, her pink eyes clouded. "He asked about what I thought of you. I told him that you weren't a bad person. Then he said that you really didn't love me, and that you just wanted to rape me." She had kept some things hidden, but she did convey the important stuff.
To Sakura's surprise, Schuldig just laughed. "That sounds like Crawford all right," he noticed. "Maybe he just thinks this is like what happened with Nagi and Tot. But, our relationship is different. This isn't puppy-love. I should remember to tell Crawford that, but he probably wouldn't understand."
"Hey, you wouldn't abandon your friends because of me, will you?" Sakura wondered, her voice shaky.
"Was?" Schuldig exclaimed, using the German word for what. "I would never abandon Schwarz! I'm not that stricken with love. I just hope I can find balance between you and them. But anyway, we didn't come here to talk! C'mon, let's dance!" He took Sakura's hand and led her to the dance floor.
The current song was "Beat of the Rising Sun" by Dave Rodgers. It had a fast beat with a touch of rock. The singer had an energetic voice with a slight Italian accent. Schuldig found this song easy to dance to; however, Sakura didn't share his enthusiasm.
"I wanna stay all the night…"
Schuldig moved his body to the beat of the song with ease. "What's wrong?" he asked Sakura. "Dance! This is a nice song!"
"I wanna hold you tonight…"
"Uh, okay," Sakura agreed reluctantly. She tried to copy Schuldig's moves as best she could.
"Oh baby, let me stay now…"
Sakura was getting the hang of this song. True, she wasn't dancing as well as Schuldig, but he was still impressed. Her rhythm was slightly off, but compared to how she had been doing, it was hardly noticeable.
"I'm all right, babe…"
"Now you're getting good!" Schuldig said, grinning broadly. Suddenly, he pulled Sakura into his arms. "Now dance with me," he requested, his smile now crafty.
"Because you want it…"
Schuldig's dance was now more energetic than the singer's voice. He swung Sakura around and made her dizzy, but she didn't care. She was having so much fun. She couldn't remember the last time she had enjoyed herself so much.
"Ready to dance…"
"You're so lively," Schuldig told Sakura. "I can't imagine what kind of tiger you'd be."
Sakura breathed heavily. "This is fun," she said breathlessly. "I wanna dance some more!"
"Beat of the rising sun, beat of the rising sun…"
Schuldig and Sakura continued to dance fervently until the song's end. By then, they were exhausted and out of breath. They got some more cold drinks and sat down at their table. For a few minutes, they sipped their drinks in silence. Soon Schuldig spoke.
"You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?" he assumed, laying his hand on Sakura's. "Aren't you glad you came with me?"
Sakura nodded. "Of course!" she confirmed happily.
Schuldig searched Sakura's feelings. She wasn't lying at all. She was being completely honest. That made him extremely pleased.
Another song had begun playing. This time it was "Fly to Me to the Moon & Back" by The Spiders From Mars. Like the last song, this one had a quick beat, but it also had more of a "nightly" feel. Schuldig took Sakura's hand and they headed back to the dance floor.
"I wanna share this beautiful moment…"
This was a slower song than the first, so Sakura found it easier to dance with Schuldig. He was less active, and much gentler.
Schuldig pulled the young girl closer and touched her face. "Let's do as the song says, shall we?" he suggested playfully.
"Help me, tell me how you feel tonight…"
Sakura blushed slightly. She didn't mind it when Schuldig was being playful. Sure, sometimes it was suggestive, but it was also cute in a weird way.
"Take a chance, boy…"
They started dancing a little faster while keeping a steady pace. Sakura was still a bit exhausted from the last song, and she didn't want to push herself.
"We can be lovers again…"
Sometimes, Schuldig's emotions depended on the thoughts invading his mind. This was because he could barely tell which thoughts were his. Right now, he felt the exact same happiness Sakura did. And he liked that. He wanted to share everything with her.
"Just find me…"
Sakura rested her head against Schuldig's chest as he wrapped his arms around her back. This felt so natural to her. Schuldig was providing her with peace and tranquility, things that she had always believed Ran would be the one to give her.
"Come over me and forget your misery…"
Schuldig smirked as he read Sakura's mind. She was beginning to fall in love with him, just like he wanted.