Author's note:

Chapter 4 is finally up. *g* Thanks for all reviews!

The description of the "Springwood Youth Reformatory for maladjusted boys" is highly inspired from the Youth Shelter we see in ANOES6, but this children's home is only for boys (we're just in the fifties, mixed gender was almost unthinkable at this era).

CHAPTER 4 – The Trauma Recurs 1951

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1. The "Springwood Youth Reformatory for maladjusted boys" is a small, ugly building in downtown of Springwood. No garden or playground, only a tiny concrete backyard. The rooms are spartanic, the walls without any decoration. Mr. Joseph Bower is the only full-time educator, but he is supported by college students from time to time. Mrs. Neily is the matron of the house, responsible for daily things like cooking and clothes. The home can take up to 10 boys, actual there are 8 boys aged between 12 and 16 years. Nine year old Freddy is therefore the youngest and is to that effect quite out of place.

2. On his first afternoon in the home Freddy follows Mr. Bower to his new room, which he shares with four other kids. In the room he meets his to-be roommates – Dennis (14, kind of James Dean), Tom (15, Afro-American, heavy build), Jake (12, short, but clever) and Rodney (14, gawky and with lots of spots in his face). Dennis, Tom and Jake begin to interrogate and pester Freddy, who tries best to answer all their brash questions. Rod attempts to protect him, but is insulted and gives up quickly. Later Rod shows Freddy the rest of the house. In the living room Freddy is questioned again. Another boy remembers the rumors in school about the hamster-killing, thus giving Freddy almost from the beginning the reputation of being a kook.

3. Some days later. William, a student supporting Mr. Bower, tries to form a friendship with Freddy. But Freddy keeps rather silent and skeptical (as usual). In the night he can't sleep because of the alien environment. He feels totally lost and desperate, but he doesn't cry although he would like to, because he doesn't want the other to think of him as a wimp.

4. Freddy gets teased everywhere he's going: in the living room, in the sleeping room, even in the toilets he is thrown out because Dennis is secretly smoking there. Finally Freddy can't stand it any longer and runs away from the reformatory.

5. Freddy runs through Springwood for several hours, not knowing where to go. At last he goes to the Orphanage with the naïve hope that he could live there again. The orphanage though is already informed about his runaway. So when Mr. Robinson finds him in the garden he contacts the reformatory. Mr. Bower comes to pick Freddy up, who gets rather frantic and doesn't want to go back. But Mr. Bower forces him and threatens him with a severe punishment for his runaway. Mr. Robinson is quite sad that he can't help Freddy anymore.

6. Dennis and his friends taunt Freddy for his poor runaway, but Freddy bears their sarcasm without any reaction. The punishment of Mr. Bower was indeed very severe and painful. William stops the others from mocking on Freddy and tries unsuccessfully to cheer him up. He is more and more concerned about Freddy and fears that he is unable to cope with the constant psychic pressure of the other children.

7. William talks to Mr. Bower about Freddy and tells him his concerns. He also thinks that Freddy needs some extra help to adapt in the new situation and suggests that they continue with the "ethic lessons" he read about in Freddy's file record. He believes that a person Freddy knows already could facilitate his familiarization. Mr. Bower is not convinced that some visits of a nun could help and wants to think about it first.

8. Freddy hides under his bed and witnesses Dennis, Jake and Tom smoking and talking about their last breach of the rules here and in school. When they find him they threaten him not to tell anyone. Freddy manages to run out of the room but gets a wild rage attack down in the living room because of the almost permanent bullying. Mr. Bower punishes him hard again and blows him with a cane.

9. Mr. Bower, William and all boys make a barbecue trip to a park nearby Springwood. Freddy has another run-in with Dennis near a small creek. During the dispute Freddy slips and falls in the icy cold water. When Dennis laughs at him he gets frantic and attacks him with a branch lying on his side in the water. Dennis is caught off-guard from his attack and stumbles on the ground. Freddy bashes him with the stick again and again, thus breaking Dennis' arm. William finally stops him before he can harm Dennis even more. The trip is cancelled and they return to Springwood, where Dennis gets gypsum around his arm and Freddy is dressed in dry clothes before he falls asleep exhausted. Mr. Bower actually wants to speak with him about the incident, but Mrs. Neily convinces him to give Freddy some rest first.

10. The next day Mr. Bower still can't punish Freddy, because he got a severe influenza and lies with very high fever in his bed. Mrs. Neily cares for him, while he switches between ague and an uneasy feverish sleep. But she has to leave him alone for a while when the laundry rings up in the morning telling that the washings were ready to pick up. During her absence Freddy awakens and walks shakily through the empty house. In the kitchen he finds a long knife and starts to cut himself in a state of fever delusion. Mrs. Neily returns and finds him in the kitchen covered with blood. Her shocked shriek makes Freddy turn around, but before she can take off the knife he gets unconscious and falls to the ground. Later on a doctor attends to Freddy's numerous cuts on his arms and hands. After he is finished he talks to Mr. Bower that this kind of self-mutilation is rather alarming and suggests calling in a psychiatrist. Mr. Bower more and more comes to the conclusion that William was right and that Freddy needs some special help.

11. Freddy's fever, which got even higher after his self-violation, continues for almost two weeks. Finally, when he is healthy again, he gets an unexpected visit from Sister Mary Helena. She is also quite surprised, she had never thought of meeting him again after he was brought to the reformatory. Besides she is very concerned about what had happened in the meanwhile, i.e. Freddy's runaway, his attack of Dennis and last but not least his worrying self-violation (not speaking of the hamster-murder that lead to his shift to the reformatory at all). The only downer was that she didn't tell Mr. Bower that she is Freddy's mother, because she feared that he would withdraw his offer if he knew that. The talk with Freddy is difficult as usual. He isn't very pleased to meet her again as the former meetings were part of a punishment which he thought was already over.

12. Freddy accidentally finds Dennis cigarettes and secretly begins to smoke one. Unfortunately he is discovered by Mr. Bower and is punished hard. Even worse after Mr. Bower's official punishment he gets beaten by Dennis, who is furious that he dared to take his cigarettes, which are now confiscated by Mr. Bower.

13. All boys, Mr. Bower and William make a shopping afternoon in downtown. Freddy oversees Jake who steals sweets in a grocery store. He tries to demand a part of the swag for his silence, but Jakes threatens him in return. Before the situation escalates William steps by and offers Freddy a kind of late welcome gift. Freddy is somewhat surprised by his friendly present but nevertheless keeps closed and suspicious.

14. The new, fourth grade has begun. Freddy is in fact allowed to continue in school, although Mrs. Sullivan was strictly against it. Both she and the other students treat him with a mixture of distrust, mockery and disgust, like he was a complete maniac.

15. Once again Freddy gets a rage attack. First Dennis displaces him from hearing a radio show and then he looses in a Parcheesi-game and Jakes laughs at him. In a furious outrage he throws the game through the room, so that Mr. Bower who is reading a newspaper orders him back to his sleeping room. Freddy refuses to go and yells angry, but Mr. Bower allows no disobedience and brings him to his room by force.

16. Halloween. Freddy again is grounded due to his last rage attack. But Williams persuades Mr. Bower to cancel his punishment for this afternoon. First Freddy doesn't want to go out for "trick or treat" at all, but then he agrees to come with William. He still refuses to masquerade, arguing that he is a "dangerous maniac" who needs no dress up. Finally he compromises with William to wear a paper mask. On their tour they just come to the house of Mrs. Sullivan. Initially she gives him sweets, but when he lifts his paper mask and she recognizes him she gets rather harsh. She picks up her cat, which was sitting beneath her, and warns Freddy not to come to close to her pet. William is quite upset how hostile she treats Freddy, but Freddy is used to this and stays apparently resigned.

17. After Halloween Freddy's house arrest continues. One day the other kids are in town with Mr. Bower, leaving only him, William and Mrs. Neily at home. He hides under his bed again, but is found by William who sits on the floor and speaks to him patiently. After a while Freddy leaves his hideout and sits next to William. They make some small-talk first, but then Freddy starts to tell William of his deep-seated fears and concerns and his feeling of being absolutely alone in a mean and nasty world. William is pleased that he eventually begins to trust him.

18. Sister Mary Helena visits Freddy for the third time. She gives him a pack of oreo cookies as a present. Freddy though throws the cookies away and yells furious that he doesn't want any gifts from her and that her visits were nothing but an awkward punishment for him. The other boys would tease him even more after her dumb ethic-lesson and he would hate Mary Helena for that. Mary Helena tries to calm him down sympathetic, but achieves only the direct opposite. Freddy lashes about and even hits her in the stomach. Mr. Bower helps her and stops Freddy rigorous, and so she aborts her visits and leaves the youth center sadly.

19.  Christmas Time. Freddy has tinkered a colored paper star for school with William's help. Although his star is really handsome Mrs. Sullivan criticizes his work and gives him a bad mark. On his way back to the children's home Freddy gets snapped by two schoolfellows. They knock him around and dupe him with snow in the face.

20. William and Freddy play cards. Freddy's trust in William has grown slowly in the last weeks. William asks Freddy for his Christmas wishes. Freddy replies that he has no wishes and doesn't believe in Santa Clause anymore. When William asks him again he says he just wants to be normal and like everybody else. William tries to comfort him and says that Freddy is already normal, but Freddy disagrees. He knows that he is different inside, but he doesn't know why. William is somewhat stumped. When he mentions that he will miss Freddy next year the boy looks up in shock, not knowing what William is talking about. William reminds him that he had told him several times before that he will leave the youth center after Christmas because his college courses continue. But Freddy has swamped out this thought and feels completely upset now. He thinks that William has betrayed him like anyone he trusted before and that this shows again that everyone in the world hates him and wants to hurt him. In an instant franticness he attacks William, punching and kicking him in unrestrained wrath until Mr. Bower interrupts him and sends him vigorously to his room. William on his part feels somewhat guilty and sorrowfully fears that he has unintentionally lost Freddy's trust in him and even in society forever.

Well, that's it!

I know it's a really sad chapter. Young Freddy is so lonely and isolated. And when he finally begins to trust someone withal his earlier poor experience this person leaves again. The trauma of loosing his confident recurred. The only way he could cope with his sorrow and trouble was to change it into hate and wrath. Swearing that he would never again trust anyone in his life… Poor Freddy!