Ich Werde Dir Immer Verzeihen
A/N: Okay, lengthy explanation time. The singer of "Night & Day," Mr. Groove (real name is Tomas Martin; also known as Mega NRG Man), is not a native speaker of English. (Hey, it's eurobeat. It comes from Italy, but it's released in Japan. But since most eurobeat singers don't know Japanese, they sing in English, which is like a second language to Japanese people. Besides, English is kind of like a worldwide language.) So anyway, Martin's English is not perfect. Twice in the song, he's supposed to be saying, "I've been thinking too much about what you said," or something, but he slurs it up to the point where he sounds like he's saying, "I've been too much abusive." And that was the inspiration for most of this story. So enjoy the chapter.
Chapter 6: Night & Day
"Hi Nagi-kun! Me and Rabbi-chan are having a great time with New Mama and New Papa. I even have a new sister to play with. Her name is Yasashii, and she's just like Schön! I really miss you, and so does Rabbi-chan. Come visit us soon!"
Nagi smiled as he read through Tot's e-mail. Even when she wasn't here, she could still spread her cheerfulness.
Two years ago, Nagi had arranged for Tot to live with a foster family. They e-mailed each other often, but rarely saw each other. Nagi didn't want to risk the rest of Schwarz finding out about this. However, whenever the young boy had a chance, he slipped away to go see Tot.
Nagi sighed as he leaned his head back. Schuldig probably suspected something, but for some odd reason he hadn't said anything. Maybe it was the influence of his love for Sakura. Nagi then heard the door opening, so he quickly shut down the computer.
"Nagi, are you in here?" Crawford asked, stepping into the starry-vortex room.
"Yes," Nagi answered stoically.
Crawford walked over to the young boy and rested his elbow on the computer chair. "You've been talking to that Tot girl, haven't you?" he assumed, his voice cold.
"Took you long enough to notice," Nagi snapped back.
Crawford had been expecting a response like that. "You know, you're rubbing off on Schuldig," he told Nagi. "But the problem is that love is more dangerous for him. He can't fully understand his emotions. He may be mistaking lust for love."
"You still think Schuldig is going to rape Sakura?" Nagi guessed coolly. "You warned them of your prediction, didn't you?"
"Of course," Crawford confirmed. "But I never said anything about rape."
Nagi turned the chair around to face Crawford. "Maybe you're wrong," the boy said. "Maybe their relationship can work. Maybe you're just too jealous to notice."
Crawford's hand balled up into a fist. "What does he see in that girl?" he mumbled, mostly to himself.
"Maybe he just sees her," Nagi explained, his dark blue eyes staring straight through Crawford's glasses. "That's how I see Tot, and isn't that how you see Schuldig?"
Crawford turned his golden eyes away. "Stop trying to understand my feelings," he ordered firmly. "You're just some emotionless little brat." With that, he left the starry room.
"How can I understand your feelings, when you can't even understand them?" Nagi whispered softly. "Besides, I don't have to understand your feelings to know that you just don't want to see Schuldig hurt." He turned the computer back on so he could type up his reply to Tot.
o o o o o o
The day raced into the evening as fast as Schuldig and Sakura were dancing. It was past eight, but they still had some energy left. Sakura hadn't expected to stay this long, so she had called her mother and said that she would be home around nine or ten. They now sat at a small booth near the back of the club, away from the crowds.
Schuldig had gotten a small headache from all the thoughts invading his mind. However, as long as Sakura's thoughts were among them, he didn't care. Just the idea that she may be falling in love with him filled him with excitement.
"Schuldig-san, another song is playing," Sakura informed Schuldig. "Do you want to dance?"
"Nah, I think I'll sit this one out," Schuldig decided, sliding closer to Sakura. He laid his head on her shoulder. "I'll just rest against you."
Sakura wrapped her arm around Schuldig's shoulder and gently touched his face. "That's fine with me," she allowed, her voice soft. A small smile came upon her lips.
"I don't know what I'm doing…"
The song was "Night & Day" by Mr. Groove. It was fast with a steady beat. However, unlike most of the other songs, his one had depressing (if slightly cheesy) lyrics, and a darker feel.
"Maybe it's time to let me go…"
Schuldig didn't mind that, though. He kind of liked the song, but he was glad he decided not to dance. It would've been quite difficult to dance to this song.
"I've been too much abusive…"
Schuldig was in disbelief of what he had just heard. That was not what the singer had said. It had actually been something like "I've been thinking too much about what you said."
"That our love will never die…"
It was then Schuldig saw the thoughts hidden in the back of Sakura's mind. While she trusted him, she was still afraid he would become abusive. He was, after all, highly possessive at times. And, even further back, she even half-believed Crawford's prediction of Schuldig raping her. So, exactly how was she falling in love with him? Or had Schuldig convinced himself of that only to fill the emptiness in his heart?
"You had so many reasons to go away…"
No, Sakura was falling in love with him. It hadn't quite happened yet, but it would. Schuldig would make absolute sure of that.
"You couldn't do it…"
Those stupid lyrics… Schuldig hated them. They did not reflect his feelings at all. He had merely misheard a line.
"I will always forgive you…"
Then why was it affecting him so?
Schuldig cuddled closer to Sakura as he dived deeper into her thoughts. Occasionally he came across a few that comforted him. He went through some happy childhood memories while trying to avoid the painful ones. Sakura had a pleasant childhood, Schuldig noticed. Much unlike his.
Soon Schuldig came across Sakura's feelings for Ran. However, he was actually quite pleased. Those feelings were becoming weaker as the ones for Schuldig were growing stronger. Sakura really was falling in love with him. She just needed a little "push."
"I've been too much abusive…"
That line again. Why did Schuldig keep mishearing it? It was beginning to annoy him. To get his mind off it, he started kissing Sakura. If there was one thing he liked more than manipulating others, it was tasting Sakura's sweet lips.
"Night and day I feel empty and lonely…"
Schuldig gripped Sakura's shoulders tightly and pulled her closer…
"You get me out of this, give me one kiss…"
His kissing became more fervent, if not a bit rough…
"Night and day I am living so sadly…"
This was type of excitement he wanted. This passion, this affection…
"I stand on my knees, give me one, please…"
Schuldig continued to kiss Sakura until the song was over. He didn't care how many people were staring. His one and only thought was of kissing Sakura like this. There was no hesitation or regret in his mind.
Once the song ended, Schuldig took his lips off Sakura's. She had been quite surprised by his sudden kissing. She was scared by how rough he had been. It almost seemed like he was angry about something. "What's wrong, Schuldig-san?" she dared to ask.
"Nothing," Schuldig assured stoically. "I just didn't like the song." He pulled himself off Sakura and sat a few inches away from her. He laid his head back and sighed heavily. Every time he tried being affectionate towards Sakura, he usually ended up being too rough.
And now other people were staring. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but it was their thoughts that bothered him. They thought that his relationship with Sakura was that of pimp and whore. They thought that Schuldig was much too old for the young girl. They thought that Sakura was just some shallow slut only interested in money.
Sakura slid her hand over Schuldig's. "Schuldig-san, are you sure nothing's wrong?" she wondered, her voice soft. "You look angry about something."
Schuldig smiled wickedly. "These people seem to think that a relationship between a twenty-four year-old man and a seventeen-year-old girl can't be anything but sexual," he noticed, mockery in his voice. He clenched Sakura's hand and stood up. "C'mon, let's go someplace where there aren't narrow-minded idiots," he added loudly. Several people shifted uncomfortably.
Sakura also got on her feet. "Uh, okay," she agreed, a bit nervous.
Schuldig's grin became wider. He had the perfect idea that would result in Sakura falling in love with him. Suddenly, he bent over and kissed her on the mouth. "I love you, Geliebte," he said once more, this time using the German word for lover. He wrapped his arm around the back of the young girl's waist and led her out of the dance club.
o o o o o o
Ran finally came out of his room, but he was still very aloof. He ate a few of Omi's riceballs, and then he went to watch some TV. He had not said anything to the other three florists.
Yoji was definitely not a fan of Ran's sulkiness. "Is he still worked up over Sakura?" he wondered aloud. "God, why can't he get over her? She's gotten over him."
"Is it really that easy?" Ken challenged in a sharp tone. "Have you already gotten over Neu?"
Yoji's body tightened as he leaned against the wall. "It's been two years!" he reminded, his anger rising. "Or course I have! But what about you? Have you gotten over that motorcycle chick? Or what about that prostitute lady?"
Ken's hand balled up into a fist. He wasn't going to dignify that with a response.
Omi sighed heavily. Ran's bad mood was rubbing off on Yoji and Ken. The two of them argued often lately. Omi hated it.
He looked over to the other room, where Ran was sitting on the couch. Ran wore a most stoic expression on his face. Not once today had he showed any emotion whatsoever.
Suddenly Ran stood up and walked over to his co-workers. He looked straight at the three former members of Weiß, his pale eyes void of all feeling. It was difficult to predict what he would say or do.
Ran inhaled a deep breath. "We're leaving Tokyo, first thing tomorrow," he announced.
o o o o o o
Sakura wondered where Schuldig was taking her. It sure wasn't home, even though it was past nine and her mother would be expecting her. He had merely said it was a "surprise."
Sakura looked out the window of Schuldig's car. The rushing lights of the city were colorful, and they illuminated the darkness of the night. It created a kind of "mysterious" feeling.
Sakura glanced over at Schuldig. He was grinning wickedly, but there was anger and confusion behind his icy blue eyes. He was scaring Sakura. She tried her hardest to hide her fright, but a bit of it still leaked through.
Why was Schuldig acting like this? Was he still angry about what those people had thought of his relationship with her? Or was it because of that song?
"Sakura, relax," Schuldig requested calmly. "I'm not angry about anything. I just want to take you somewhere."
"Where?" Sakura wanted to know. "I should be home now. My mom's gonna be worried about me!"
Schuldig chuckled. "Don't worry," he said, somewhat amused. "I'll talk to your mother. She'll understand."
"So, tell me what you want," Sakura ordered firmly.
Schuldig's smirk became wider. "I want to spend tonight with you," he admitted slyly.
"What?" Sakura exclaimed, her heart racing its fastest. "You don't mean-"
"Shush," Schuldig interrupted, his voice quiet. "You'll ruin everything. I won't hurt you. I just want to prove something to you, Geliebte."
That word again. Sakura had no idea what it meant, but she knew it was German. It was in the letter Schuldig had sent her when she had returned to Tokyo.
Schuldig laid his hand on Sakura's thigh. "I thought you trusted me," he said playfully. "Your anxiety is making me uncomfortable."
"I do trust you," Sakura corrected meekly. "But I just want to know what you meant by wanting to spend tonight with me."
Schuldig pulled his hand back. "I guess I can't keep it from you any longer," he noticed. "All right, I'll come clean. I rented this room at this luxury hotel. We are going to spend the night there. Just you and me. We won't have sex or anything. I just want to prove to Crawford and everyone else that my love for you is sincere."
Sakura tugged at her skirt nervously. While she appreciated knowing what Schuldig was planning, she was still worried. He was taking her someplace where they could be alone, and it was somewhat against her will. She wondered if that could be considered as "rape"…
After half an hour had passed, Schuldig and Sakura reached the hotel. It was several stories tall, with a well cared for terrace. Schuldig pulled his car up into the parking lot and stopped somewhere near the main entrance. He and Sakura stepped out and he then took her hand into his.
"You're being too paranoid," Schuldig told Sakura. "We're just going to spend the night together. No sex. Unless, of course, you want it…?"
"No, no, that's all right!" Sakura replied, blushing madly. "I don't want any!"
Schuldig smiled softly. "If you say so," he teased playfully. "But I could have made you feel real good." His voice had become seductive.
Sakura said nothing in reply. Even if he was only joking, the idea of having sex with Schuldig made her feel quite uncomfortable.
They entered the hotel and made their way to the elevator. They stepped into it and Schuldig pressed the "8F" button. The elevator began to ascend upward.
As they rode the elevator, Sakura pondered her feelings for Schuldig. He was sweet and charming towards her, and quite handsome. But he was also cruel and manipulative, and sometimes he acted jealous and possessive. He was a cold-blooded murderer. Still, he didn't seem like such an evil person now. Without thinking, Sakura leaned against Schuldig's shoulder. In response, he wrapped his arm around the back of her waist.
The elevator soon stopped and opened up. Schuldig and Sakura stepped out and he led her down the hallway to room 841. He pulled out a card key from his pocket and unlocked the door. He opened it and escorted Sakura inside.
The hotel room was very luxurious. The light blue carpeting was quite soft and the walls were painted a pale rose color. To the right was a tall dresser made from polished wood and next to it was the doorway to the bathroom. On the back wall was a window with white transparent curtains with lacy edges. To the left was a king-sized bed. A dark blue comforter that was crushed velvet covered it. Four fluffy pillows were placed at the front, near the headset. The headset itself was also polished wood that was craved into a fancy pattern. A large, oval mirror was set in the middle.
"There's only one bed?" Sakura noticed, her anxiety rising. "Does that mean we have to share?"
"Yes," Schuldig confirmed, smirking. "I thought it would be nice to sleep in the same bed. It doesn't have to mean anything sexual."
Sakura stared at the bed nervously. It was pretty big, so there was enough room for her and Schuldig. But what if he started touching her in his sleep? The prospect of sharing a bed with him was unnerving to Sakura.
Schuldig saw how distressed Sakura was. He stepped up to her and curled his arms around her waist from behind. He then turned her around and pressed his lips against hers. He held her tightly in his arms as he started to kiss her passionately.