Author's note: I know, it's been a long time since I updated this story. Did a lot of rewriting, but now I'm finished and finally found the time for translating. :-)))
So are you ready for Freddy? This chapter is for all folks who are waiting for some romance in our favorite serial killer's life. But doom will strike again, so read on and enjoy!
Chapter 6 – A short time of happiness 1957
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1. Freddy has grown up to a pretty handsome teenager. Still skinny and rather small, but with remarkable green eyes (note: Robert E's eye color is green, so I stick to that) and blond curled hair. Currently he lives in the reformatory again, and after three more failed attempts in foster families he is considered as "impossible to place". The Underwood's, where he lived at twelve, returned him a few month after the sudden end of his "pigeon killing" when they found him strangling the cat. The next family, a couple not based from Springwood, brought him back without any recognizable cause for Freddy just after a few weeks (they found out the rumor about Freddy's bastardy and the old Krueger-scandal and felt somehow betrayed because the reformatory didn't premention it – but of course Freddy didn't know that at all). The last try with a foster family finally failed due to his repeated rage attacks. The family asked for financial damages from the reformatory for all the things he destroyed during his outbursts, and when the reformatory refused this they brought Freddy back, because they found him to "costly".
2. In High School everything remained unaffected. Walter and his Friends still tease him as a weirdo and freak at every opportunity, especially because of Freddy's brown fedora hat (!), which he found about one year ago in the central park swimming abandoned in the fishpond and which he's always wearing since. Another rather newly but nevertheless haunting nuisance is the satirical song most students are singing during break. "On, two, Freddy's coming for you…" (*g*). Once it was just a rhyme of the boogeyman, but they changed the verse and made a kind of warning-song out of it. This song is a real pain in the ass for Freddy, because even unknown children sing it on the streets already. It seems as wherever he is going someone is yet singing that song. One day, during break, Freddy once again tries to escape the hunting song by running to the edge of the school yard, but is captured by Walter and his companions. They mock and bully him as usual, but when Freddy begins to fight back they grab him, throw him into a nearby big trash container and hold the cover close shut. Not until Mrs. Parker, still Freddy's English teacher, appears he manages to climb out of the dirty and foul-smelling junk, feeling humbled to the dust.
3. Also unchanged continued the visits of Sister Mary Helena every time Freddy returned to the reformatory. Being once some kind of lectures in "ethic issues" her visits have become more like a gesture of friendship since Mr. Bower, the educator, didn't request her coming anymore. But although her relationship with Freddy has never become very intimate she doesn't want to cancel her casual visits. After her latest look-in, she stumbles on the steps downstairs and falls to the ground, thereby spraining her ankle. As luck would have it Mrs. Parker is nearby and helps her. Because of Mary Helena's injury Mrs. Parker invites her to her home which is not too far away. After providing Mary Helena with some ice for cooling her ankle they make a little small talk while having tea and cookies. However when Mary Helena accidentally drops her prayer book to the ground a small photograph of Freddy flutters out of it. Mrs. Parker recognizes him, being quite puzzled why this nun keeps a picture of Freddy in her prayer book. But then she remembers that Mary Helena came out of the reformatory before her drop, and she begins to suspect that Mary Helena is not just some nun but one certain nun – a nun whose fate is tightly connected with the name Krueger. Although Mrs. Parker doesn't say a words her thoughts are clearly visible in her face, and so Sister Mary Helena frankly reveals her true identity, thereby confirming Mrs. Parker's suspicion. She begins to explain the extraordinary circumstances of her casual visits and her relationship to Freddy, emphasizing that he doesn't know who she really is. Mrs. Parker has a deep sympathy for her, telling her in response that she is one of Freddy's teachers and aware of his frequent troubles also occurring in school. From the very beginning both women feel a deep affinity and closeness to each other, which only gets enhanced by their shared connection to Freddy. They friendly chat continues for awhile before Mary Helena finally has to return to her convent, but not until she promises to stay in touch with Mrs. Parker.
4. Another school day. Freddy keeps aloof from the others during lunch break, when suddenly he is addressed by a pretty girl with blazing red hair. Her name is Lydia Caine, a new student on Springwood High, and she wants to get to know Freddy not although but even because of all the rumors she heard about him, for she doesn't care about what the others do or say but wants to form an opinion on her own. Though, her sheer presence and her open, breezily kind deeply confuse Freddy, as it was always absolutely impossible that a girl would come and even speak to him voluntarily without any nasty ulterior motives. Besides, after all he kind of knows what they say about him, and so he answers only reluctant Lydia's fair-minded questions about the mock song, the cause of his placement in the reformatory and his hat – always fearing that she just wants to sound him out for putting him down later on. However Lydia doesn't take his reticence amiss, talking a lot about herself, her move from Chicago and her mother, who once was a famous theater actress, before finally leaving him alone again when she is called by some friends.
5. Mr. Crawford, the math teacher, bawls Freddy out for coming too late to class. He dawdled away in the basement, hiding there once again from Walter and his mates during break. Lydia, who's in the same class, talks to him after this lesson. She wants to know where he has been in the break before as she couldn't find him anywhere on the school yard. She also is the only one who shows some sympathy for him getting such a dressing down. Freddy however still can't believe that her interest in him is not just a trick and keeps quite silent, even when she asks him if he would like to ask her out today after school. The ring of the school bell, calling for the next lesson, interrupts their talk and gives Freddy the pretext of running away, although he feels like a complete daffy loser for screwing up his very first chance of dating a girl.
6. A couple of days later on afternoon Freddy is even more stunned with surprise when Lydia visits him in the reformatory. She was just curious about his living, besides she still wants to date him. Somewhat ashamed Freddy has to confess that as a rule Mr. Bower, the educator, has to give him permission for leaving the house alone, and that he might refuse to let him go just for hanging around downtown. But Lydia doesn't give in so easily and talks to Mr. Bower, actually managing to get the needed permission. Then she takes Freddy out to the "Crave Inn", the local diner restaurant in downtown. That she is willing to show up with him, the widely known weirdo, in such a public place is almost unbelievable for Freddy. Indeed their together appearance has already drawn the attention of many other schoolfellows, resulting in curious gazes and low whispering. When he finally asks her why she is doing this she explains that in her opinion going out for a milk shake isn't such an extraordinary thing and that she, in fact, likes his charily way. Overwhelmed with a mixture of amazement and shame by her compliment Freddy blushes nervously and takes refuge in the men's restroom, where he tells himself off for his clumsiness and for not being able to return the favor. After he calmed down a bit again he returns to Lydia, finding to his utter horror none other than Martin Thompson sitting on his place, flirting overtly with Lydia. While standing petrified a few steps away he overhears how Martin calls his date a "social compassion project for loosers" and how he reminds Lydia of a rendezvous they would have on the same evening. Completely shocked Freddy feels rejected, thinking that his date was nothing but a fake and that Lydia is interested in Martin in truth. When Lydia eventually spots him standing a little behind she has no chance of explaining the situation as Freddy turns around abruptly and runs away.
7. Another visit of Sister Mary Helena in the ref. She has heard of Freddy's "date" the day before and asks him about the girl he met. Unfortunately she doesn't know how the date ended, as Freddy didn't tell anyone about that. But when Mary Helena mentions Lydia the furious hate arising from the hurt feelings of the alleged rejection burst out. He yells at her in a wild rage attack, which turns quickly into great sadness and despair. Then he asks her what is wrong with him and why he is different, and why everybody who seems to be friendly first then just wants to hurt him. Mary Helena doesn't know how to soothe his emotional pain, and that grieves her deeply. Before she can even try to find some comforting words Freddy repels her vehemently, wanting her to leave him alone as he isn't able to hold back his tears any longer and doesn't want her to see him crying. Mary Helena respects his wish and leaves the room, while Freddy jumps on the bed and puts his head under the pillow, his shoulders quivering broken-hearted.
8. A couple of days later. Freddy keeps out of Lydia's way in school, hiding in the basement during break, so that she has no chance to set the record straight about her last unlucky date. But finally she catches him after school. Freddy doesn't want to speak to her first, still thinking that she fooled him. Lydia however explains that their date was anything but a "social compassion project" to her and that he would be a jerk believing that she would play in such a mean way with his feelings. She has had a nice and pleasant date with only him, Freddy, until Martin, this brash swaggerer, showed up by sheer chance. If he wouldn't have run away so fast she had explained to him right there that the "rendezvous" Martin was speaking of was just a meeting for a school project they have to work out together. At first Freddy is torn between relief and distrust, but when Lydia invites him to the cinema as atonement for the unsuccessful first date he becomes more and more convinced that she truly likes him. Though, together with his regained self-confidence comes the realization that he reacted like a daft nerd, a feeling which gets only amplified by the fact that he has to refuse her kind invitation due to fact that he got grounded once again for a tantrum he had yesterday when one of his roommates didn't stop to sing the mock song all along the evening. But Lydia just suggests that she visits him again at home, so that they could learn together for the next math test coming soon – a work even Mr. Bower would surely allow. Freddy agrees quickly, as if he fears she could withdraw her offer if he hesitates too long. Lydia for her part waves off cordially when she discovers her mother, who drives up with a big, yellow Rolls Royce to pick her right up for shopping.
9. Freddy receives a surprising good mark in the latest math test – a result of the intense learning together with Lydia as she kept her promise and visited him again in the reformatory. Lydia congratulates him for his achievement after the lesson and, after finding out that his grounding has ended, asks him out for a meeting in the center park. Freddy accepts her invitation happily, although he still has to fight the feeling that his friendship with Lydia is only a dream or even worse just a sick joke. When they get to Freddy's locker he has to find out that someone has cracked and reset his code combination, so that he can't open it anymore. Walter, who is "incidentally" hanging around, mocks him nastily, thereby clearly showing that he is responsible for the changed locker code. Lydia gets really angry in view of such a mean, devious teasing, unavailingly demanding the new locker code from Walter, while Freddy takes this new bullying rather unmoved and gets moving to the janitor to get his locker opened.
10. Lydia and Freddy spend together a wonderful afternoon in the central park, strolling on the promenade and talking, whereby Lydia is mainly talking and Freddy mostly tight-lipped. He's still self-conscious and inhibited in all this girlfriend-stuff, not knowing what to say or what to do next, fearing that one tiny lapse could ruin everything. When Lydia at once holds hands with him he blushes deeply and feels like walking on air. It takes him several attempts until he finally plucks up his courage and owns up his feelings for Lydia. His clumsy shyness and tentativeness are really touching, and Lydia doesn't hesitate to reassure that she also likes him very much. On their way through the park they eventually take a seat on a bench near the great fountain, enjoying the warm spring weather and the glorious sundown. Hearing the church bells Lydia wants to know when Freddy has to return the reformatory, but is quite upset when Freddy admits that he is almost three hours overdue. Lydia can't understand how he could ignore the time limit, for it is very likely that he will be grounded again because of his delay. Freddy, though, has just not considered the consequences of his timeout, and the prospect of a probable painful dressing down from Mr. Bower doesn't make it easier for him to say goodbye to Lydia now. But Lydia insists that he returns to the reformatory without wasting any more time, crossing her fingers that he will not be punished too hard, and so he finally leaves her and gets moving home.
11. Mr. Bower got indeed very angry, but although he disciplined Freddy and gave him another week of grounding Freddy didn't regret his disobedience, like he usually did not regret any of his misdoings or feel any remorse afterwards. On the next school day, a Friday, he is just on the way to his locker, but finds it already opened. And his notepad is missing – the pad in which he doodled hearts with "F&L" and other childish and doting stuff about him and Lydia. In growing panic he searches through the locker, when suddenly Walter asks tauntingly if he is missing something, because if so he should look on the black board whether "someone" put it on there. Fearing the worst but still hoping that this isn't true Freddy sprints to the black board down the hallway, but the loud laughter from the students crowding before the board let his worst nightmare come true. His pad is pinned on the board, the page with his doodles visible for everyone. All students around, ahead with Walter, who followed Freddy, are laughing at him. When Walter spots Lydia, who is just coming along by chance, he summons her to have a look at Freddy's "art". Freddy however rips off his notepad, yelling furiously at Walter before he flees into the basement – too deep is the humiliation. Lydia caught only a short glimpse of the notepad, but this together with Freddy's reaction is enough so that she can make out what happened. She swears at Walter for being an insensitive, mean lump, and then she follows Freddy down to the school basement. When she finally finds him in the dark level she gets quite startled as she witnesses one of Freddy's tantrums for the very first time. Screaming vulgar curses Freddy is blowing his notepad into little bits, then he knocks over a small dusty filing cabinet and a metal ladder before kicking wild against one of the big boilers. His unrestrained franticness upsets Lydia, for she has never seen Freddy like this before. Fearing that he might hurt himself by slamming so often against the boiler she touches him softly and tries to calm him down. Only just realizing her presence Freddy snaps at her irately, yelling that she had no right to follow him into his "realm". Lydia of course has no idea what he is speaking of, but Freddy grabs her violently at her shoulders and repeats that this place is his special secret and secure realm. His painful grip and the black look he gives her really scare her, and for a short moment Freddy enjoys her fear and pain, but then he pushes her away, shouting that she should run away and leave him alone as long as she can still do it. Confused by his threatening behavior Lydia eventually runs off, while Freddy continues to abreact his rage and hate on the boiler wall.
12. Next Monday in school. Freddy had a terrible weekend, thinking that he has completely ruined the friendship to Lydia with his rage attack and that she certainly must hate and loath him now. For the first time he feels some kind of shame for his sadistic impulses. While he tries to avoid Lydia she surprises him by awaiting him at the basement door, knowing that he would probably hide again down there during break. She wants to talk things out and leads him to an outlying corner of the school yard where they can talk undisturbed. The whole weekend she has thought about what happened in the basement, finally coming to the conclusion that though she was very frightened by his behavior she doesn't want to end their friendship this way. She assumes that he sent her off in order to protect her from himself or from the things he almost had done. Freddy makes a short attempt to explain what he was about to do. But he isn't able to bring himself to say that it was not only about loosing his self control but that for one moment he felt up to hurt her on purpose. And that if he had given in to his desires he would even have enjoyed it. Lydia however appeases him that nothing really happened at all. A part of her probably doesn't want to know what really occurred in the basement, and Freddy is so glad that she still wants to be together with him that he is only too pleased to change the topic. Before the break finally ends they arrange another meeting at the "Crave Inn" for the next weekend.
13. Mrs. Parker and Sister Mary Helena incidentally meet on the local cemetery. They have a little talk, and the spontaneous sympathy they had for each other on their first meeting deepens. Among other things Mrs. Parker tells Mary Helena about Freddy's relationship to Lydia, at least the things she noticed in school. Mary Helena is glad to hear that Freddy found someone he trusted and even liked after all, hoping that he would benefit from the friendship with this girl. Before they disband Mary Helena invites Mrs. Parker to attend at church in her convent for listening to the famous church choir, an invitation Mrs. Parker accepts willingly.
14. Weekend. Freddy and Lydia meet again in the "Crave Inn" diner. She tells him that she will make a long journey during summer holidays, which will start in two weeks. Freddy is getting quite depressed on hearing that he will be all alone during holidays, going stale in the reformatory with all the other kids which are already a pain in the neck for him. Lydia tries to cheer him up, telling him that they can at least meet again in the first week of the holidays before her journey starts. But this is only a cold comfort for Freddy, even when Lydia promises to write a post card every week. To make him think something different she suggests dancing together. Despite Freddy's flabbergasted protest, stating that he can't dance at all and that nobody else is dancing, she puts some coins into the jukebox, chooses a rather slow romantic song and drags him to the small space in the corner of the diner being used as the 'dance floor'. Blushing deeply Freddy wants to sink into the ground, and the curious gazes of all the other guests makes him even more tense and nervous. But Lydia just takes his left hand, holding him softly and dancing slowly to the music. After a while Freddy finally puts his free right hand on her waist and begins to move likewise, a happy smile forming on his face. Forgotten are the upcoming holidays and her travel, and forgotten are the other people staring at them agape, in this very moment he is just on top of the world, wishing that this song might never end.
15. The holidays have begun. Freddy's school report has not been as bad as feared, and so he needs not to take an extra summer course, which else would have ruined the holidays completely. He meets up with Lydia the last time before her travel, this time at her home (!). Just quite recently Freddy would have considered it impossible to be asked over by a pretty girl like Lydia. But now he's sitting beside her in her bedroom, listening to some music played by a little case record player, eating tasty cookies and drinking lemonade Lydia's mother has made for them. Lydia even shows him some old pictures of her, where she's a lovely small girl with pigtails and tooth spaces. All in all it is a wonderful afternoon for Freddy, making him perfectly happy – something that happened not very often in his life before.
16. A few weeks later, at the end of the summer holidays. Freddy's looking forward to school, because then he will see Lydia again. Although she has kept her promise, sending him a post card every week, he has at the same time the irrational fear that she might not like him anymore or that she has get to know some other boyfriend during holidays. The holidays itself have been quite boring and annoying for Freddy, but beside of some spats with the others kids in the reformatory and one bigger rage attack at the beginning of the vacation nothing particular happened. One day Mr. Bower summons Freddy into his office, talking with him about the possibility of returning to the orphanage if his behavior proves to be that positive and if his school marks don't drop in the next grade. What Mr. Bower doesn't tell him is that the orphanage yet vehemently resists taking Freddy back, for he is sure that he will retune them eventually. Albeit this bureaucratic obstacles he reminds Freddy, that his future is laying in his hands, and that he has to pull himself together and to be a good boy if he doesn't want to block his chances. There could even be yet another chance of being placed in a new foster family in the orphanage. Freddy however isn't sure whether to be happy or not about a possible return to the orphanage, too unpleasant are his memories of this place, and besides he knows that he would be in Mrs. Jennings group then. While he is still sitting in Mr. Bower's office, thinking about this unexpected prospect, the telephone is ringing. Mr. Bowers answers the phone, then he handles it over to Freddy – it's Lydia who is calling. Amazed at her sudden call he talks with her a while, whereas Mr. Bower is standing waiting at the window. After Freddy has finished the talk he reminds him once again what they have discussed earlier, then he turns him away.
17. High School. A new school year, Freddy's tenth grade, has started. He has got new teachers in most of his subjects, so in math and also in English. Having Mr. Crawford not anymore as math teacher doesn't distress Freddy much, after all this guy made his life a miserable right from the start. But loosing Mrs. Parker as English teacher is more unfortunate, because she treated him always fair and kindly. Unlike Walter and his mates, which continue with their mean and taunting behavior like before. Another small let-down is that he and Lydia are now only together in history class as she has chosen different classes like experienced math this semester – a choice Freddy would never have made in his life cause this class is being taught by none other than Mr. Crawford. Lydia on her part also feels sorry for not having more classes together with Freddy, but she is looking forward to her new classes, too, knowing that she will need this courses for going to college some day. Besides she promises Freddy that she will still learn with him for math or for any other subject he might need help. Her generous offer for private lessons gives Freddy some hope that he will probably make this grade well.
18. A few days later in the reformatory at supper-time. Freddy's been quite lost in thought all over the day, thinking about some erotic dream regarding Lydia last night. It's the first time that he got sexually aroused by the imagination of having 'normal' sex with a girl instead of the creepy and abnormal fantasies about inflicting pain on animals and even on some priggish girls from school he usually visualized. He wonders if he is maybe not so different from the others at all, and if he could belong to them like any other 'normal' guy. For a while he imagines to take out Lydia for the prom, dancing with her all the night and finally being elected as the king and queen of the prom. When another boy sitting next to him on the table by supper banters him about his daydreaming, guessing that it might deal about his 'hot redheaded chick', he lavishes his plate with hot tomato soup on him, making him jump up hectically and scream in pain due to the scald. In punishment for that Freddy is sent to his bedroom immediately and gets a week of grounding. First he takes this punishment rather unheeding, as he doesn't let anyone pick on him for his feelings for Lydia anymore, but then, realizing that he is grounded afresh when he finally could meet with Lydia again, he gets quite angry about himself and his imprudent reaction. But being unable to regret his misdoing he soon turns his anger onto the other boy and Mr. Bower, blaming the first for putting him on the edge and the second for punishing him so hard.
19. Lydia has a talk with two cheerleaders in the girl dressing room before physical education begins. The two other girls ask her about her relationship to Freddy, not believing that she really knows what she's engaging with. Lydia however is not very keen on discussing her friendship with Freddy once again, telling them that she already knows all the rumors being told about Freddy and that none of them were true. He did not collect dead animals in his locker, he had not stolen his hat from a deceased tramp in the center park, and he had sure enough not killed his parents as a toddler but is just an ordinary orphan, for to mention just some of the most persistent rumors. Though, the cheerleaders insist on Freddy being a psycho and report another story about him, namely his hamster kill in elementary school. When Lydia wants to shrug this off as another baseless rumor one of the girls assures her that this is a fact as she had witnessed it then with her own eyes. Taken aback in face of such an awful story Lydia breaks off the conversation since she doesn't want to foredoom Freddy without thinking about this affair or even discussing it with him.
20. Due to Freddy's lasting grounding Lydia visits him once again in the boy's home, bringing a game of Scrabble with her to play together. Besides it has been raining all the day so that they could hardly go in for something else even if Freddy's grounding would have been aborted. However, when she enters the common room at first she oversees how Freddy, who bumped into a chair, hitting his shin painfully, furiously kicks at the chair and snaps aggressive at another boy laughing at him. For a short moment he has the same unrestrained sinister look on his face as in the school basement at that time, but then he catches sight of Lydia and cools down at once, acting again like the shy, sheepish boy she know so well. Though, watching his little violent fit of temper reminds her of the hamster-story she has been told. After they played Scrabble awhile she finally asks him point-black if he really slew this rodent. Somewhat upset by her question Freddy wants to know who told her about that old incident before he confesses it eventually. Lydia's almost stunned look makes him explain that this act was just a one-time case at a time he had some great troubles, and that he would regret it ever since (which was in a way true as he was sick of being addressed about that old story again and again). The pigeon-affair three years ago and the not so marginally circumstance that he liked to kill those animals he simply keeps secret knowingly. And since it was quite embarrassing for Lydia to ask him about that at all she doesn't ask any more and prefers to change topic then.
21. Freddy has stolen a pack of cigarettes from the school janitor, smoking them clandestine early in the morning in the toilets of the boy's home. On a whim he sets a toilet roll on fire, but when suddenly another boy comes in he kicks the cigarette together with the burning roll into the toilet bowl and pulls the flush, thereby putting out the fire. The other boy notices the smell of burning and cigarette smoke, warning Freddy that he gets into serious trouble if Mr. Bower finds out about that. Freddy however keeps unconcerned; he even threatens the other boy with a repeat of the tomato-soup incident if he dares to squeal him.
22. In school some days later. The new biology teacher has started a fresh project today: dissecting a (dead) frog. Freddy's working concentrated with the scalpel, a dreamy smile on his lips. His partner for this lesson, one of the cheerleaders, is more than alienated by his morbid fascination, finding his astonishing detailed knowledge of the anatomy of animals just disgusting – a knowledge he attained by the former pigeon killing and by his preoccupation with all the other dead animals. He merely regrets that the frogs are already dead; dissecting a living animal would have been just more thrilling for him, although even the dead one excites him so much that he has to stay close to the table so that nobody sees his erection. At the end of the lesson the teacher praises him for making such a precise dissection. The first time Freddy is really good at something.
23. A few days later. Freddy picks up Lydia at home, then they go to the movies and watch 'I was a teenage werewolf'. In the flickering light of the movie Freddy gets his first kiss from a girl, catapulting him right into seventh heaven. When Lydia invites him to a barbecue with her family on weekend he feels like the happiest boy in town, yes he even feels 'normal' like everybody else. For the first time he thinks that everything in his life is just okay, that everything makes sense.
24. On the next day in school during break. Walter has got an extra exercise in history for forgetting his homework two times. He is just searching through a row of old books in the school library when he accidentally founds a pile of old newspaper hidden above a dusty tome. Most of the headlines aren't of any interest for him until he founds the cover story of the old Krueger-scandal, depicting the dreadful events that happened to Amanda Krueger aka Sister Mary Helena then. There was even a little picture of her on that page. Reading the name Krueger Walter deduces correctly that Freddy is the son of that poor nun, a discovery he has to tell his mates immediately. So he takes the front paper of this newspaper and runs to his friends right away.
25. Until lunch break the rumor about Freddy's descent has already spread around. Wherever Freddy is going someone is whispering about him, others just gaze at him or keep demonstrative on distance. More than once he hears the words "bastard" and "a hundred maniacs", but of course he can't make head or tail of it. Besides he's busy with breaking open his locker with a screwdriver as someone, probably Walter or one of his mates, has changed his locker code again and he doesn't want to ask the janitor. When Walter finally finds him there, he almost immediately blurts out the truth about Freddy's parents, giving him the newspaper as proof and calling him "son of a hundred maniacs" again and again. The other students soon take over the mock line, reiterating it laughing, while Freddy's gazing at the cover story in utter shock. Petrified with sheer terror he recognizes the picture of the nun – his mother – at once. Realizing that Sister Mary Helena, the nun who visited him for such a long time, is in fact his mother, and that she lied to him all the years, he falls into an abyssal despair. Everything that stabilized him, everything that made sense in his life, collapses like a house of cards, leaving nothing but confusion and anguish. In a kind of mental blackout, caused by the traumatic discovery and the bottled up hatred, Freddy attacks Walter with the screwdriver he's still holding in the hand, stabbing him into his left shoulder. Walter screams out in pain, his shoulder bleeding severely. Seeing his bloodstained hands Freddy starts to yell frantically, the reality being wiped out by an insanity which is already existing in his soul and which is now breaking out like an elemental force. Instead of the students backing away from him he sees a scary scenery with blood swelling from the walls and dead people all around, being mutilated by an invisible force. Horrified and fascinated at the same time he stumbles around yelling until he finally bumps against a wall. The bloody screwdriver falls to the ground while Freddy sinks down apathetic, the horrible visions gone, but the dreadful truth still there. His fedora hat has also fallen to the ground during his short psychotic episode, but none of the other students picks it up.
26. The day after Freddy's attack he and Mr. Bower have been called to the school principal. While Mr. Bower is already in the principal's office, Freddy is sitting outside on a wooden chair, but he can hear the men mumbling inside. Since his assault on Walter he has gone through several emotional states, starting with shock and apathy, then misery and desperation and finally wrath and hate. All the years he tried to be 'normal' have always been futile, because he, the bastard son of a hundred maniacs, would never belong to the ordinary society. So it is a waste of effort to still endeavor it and to suppress his 'dark side' any longer. But if he starts to defend himself instead of waiting for everything to become better on its own, he will be free to do whatever he wants and nobody would ever stop him again. Feeling betrayed and deserted by his own mother he decides to never let himself being hurt by anyone again in this way, but to strike back with all bloody force if necessary. Friendship, love, trust, mercy and remorse doesn't mean anything to him, not anymore, leaving only rage, hate, pain and revenge. After waiting for a quarter of an hour Freddy finally gets called into the office, where the principals tells him that Walter's parents have refrained from making a record because of battery, but that he will be permanently expelled from school due to his violent assault. Freddy accepts this news without any visible reaction, irritating the principle with his piercing glance. Only when the principal says goodbye to Mr. Bower and him he makes a rather vulgar and impudent remark, causing Mr. Bower to apologize hastily and to push him quickly out of the office before the principle has a chance to react on Freddy's insult. Outside Mr. Bower is more than angry about Freddy's naughty behavior, telling him that he won't tolerate any rudeness. But Freddy keeps unimpressed and hostile, and Mr. Bower has the bad impression that Freddy gets out of his control.
27. Lydia visits Freddy in the reformatory after his school expulsion, bringing him his fedora hat he lost on the Walter-affair. Just when she is about to enter the home a crying nun runs out, almost bumping into her. She assumes that this is the nun who visited Freddy casually, but she has no idea why she is such a desperate state and just guesses that Freddy is not in a very good mood after all what happened. Entering the reformatory nevertheless Lydia finds Freddy in his bedroom. While Freddy's sitting motionless on his bed, scowling at her silent, she offers him her sympathy for the nasty rumors and the dreadful old scandal, being totally unaware of Sister Mary Helena's true identity as she wasn't there when he attacked Walter and therefore she also hasn't seen the picture in the newspaper. Freddy however snaps at her furiously, telling her that she doesn't understand anything at all. It is not the worst to be the son of a hundred maniacs, quite the contrary, now everything would make sense eventually. But what he can't bear is the fact that his so-called mother has stultified and betrayed him all the years. Lydia doesn't get his meaning, and so he yells irately that Sister Mary Helena is his mother. Now Lydia realizes the whole extend of the revelation. But her concernment enrages Freddy only more. He barks at her that he doesn't want her friendship and her pity, and that she has no idea what real suffer is. Grabbing her violently at her shoulders he insults and threatens her, and this time he doesn't hide how much he enjoys her fear and pain. Acting like on the incident in the school basement he really scares Lydia, and finally she has to realize that all this aggressiveness, hostility and hate have always been there, just hidden inside him. His frequent rage attacks have not been just simple slips but short bursts of his true personality, which seems to be really emotionally disturbed. Lastly she has to accept that there is no point and that she has lost a friend forever.