Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, the gnomes or their caravan (lol) and all
of that other stuff.
BTW: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED THIS STORY! It makes me happy to know that I have loving fans. grin
Hunting For The Elusive Mayfly Known As Love...Not
Chapter 4
Meeting Demonte Kalabis
Lunchtime came and Meryl found her appetite to be gone. Not only had she lost yet another teacher to the hands of idiotic people, but in English, while she had been associating with Milly, Vash had stupidly jumped on top of the table reciting a love poem he had written for Melissa, who just HAPPENED to be in that English class. In his hand, he held a long meter stick and while he had been shouting and prancing, he had slammed the stick into the wall, leaving a huge hole in the wall and in Mr. Weasel's heart, as he had been so attached to that wall.
Meryl convinced herself that she wasn't jealous of Melissa, who was sitting with Vash at a table far across the cafeteria, but only annoyed because Vash would become MORE annoying than he was now. Wolfwood was sitting with Milly at the table where her friends hung out. They had invited Meryl to come sit with them, but Meryl simply said no and that she wasn't feeling well. Thank goodness for her, Knives was sitting with his lackeys, discussing world domination.
"Do you like being a loner?" Meryl looked up, startled, and saw Demonte above her.
"N-No, I'm not a loner," She said, looking away from him. "I just don't feel like hanging out with my friends right now."
Demonte held out a hand to her, which she generously took. "You already know my name, but I vaguely know yours, Miss Stryfe." He shook her hand.
"Oh," She said, releasing his hand. "It's Meryl."
"That's a nice name," He said, his face still emotionless. "Do you mind then if I eat lunch with you?"
"Not at all," She scooted over and allowed him to sit at the table. She paused and then decided to begin another conversation. "So, you live here with your Grandpa?"
"Yeah, well, he's not my real Grandpa. I was adopted actually."
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm happy the way I live."
"So, where do you live?"
"Five blocks away from the school." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Over on Little Jersey."
"That's a street behind where I live!" Meryl said, excited. "I live on New Oregon."
"That's good," Demonte said, his eyes staying fixed on his food. "You'll have to come to my house sometime and meet my Grandpa."
Meryl flushed. Suddenly, Nick came running over, out of breath, shouting Meryl's name.
"I forgot to tell you!" He slowed down to catch his breath. "I have martial arts tonight."
"...And?" Meryl rolled her eyes. "What's the big deal?"
"I'm on restriction, remember?"
"So?"
"Well, my Sensei won't let me into the class unless someone is there with me. It's the rule my parents gave him the first time I was stuck in the hole. BUT! They never specified WHO has to be there. So, if you come tonight, JOIN PLEASE, so I can go to class."
"Why is it so important tonight?"
"Well, one, I have NEVER missed a class since I've joined six years ago, AND I'm still a white belt. They're telling me that I'll get my yellow belt any day now."
Meryl blinked. "What? You've been in it for six years and...you're still a WHITE belt?"
"Well I would be a green but my yellow belt got lost at the parcel service and they just got too lazy to order me another one."
"So you're stuck as a white belt?" Meryl stifled a laugh.
"In a nutshell."
"Aren't you ever going to move up?"
"Well, Sensei said that they would resume searching for my belt in a couple years. Until then...yeah, I'm a white belt."
"Well," Demonte looked up at Nick. "It sounds like fun. I'll join."
"And who might you be?" Nick turned in Demonte's direction.
"Kalabis," Demonte extended a hand. "Demonte Kalabis."
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood," Nick took his hand. "But 'Nick' is just fine."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Demonte said, his voice still low.
"The pleasure is all mine." Nick turned to look at Meryl. "What about you Meryl? Your boyfriend here is joining," He pointed to Demonte and Meryl flushed.
"He's not my boyfriend," She quickly protested.
"Sure, whatever you say. Anyway, are you gonna join?"
Meryl sighed. "I'll try it for one night and then see how it goes, all right?"
Nick grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks Mer! You won't be sorry!"
"I'll come and pick you both up and we'll go," Demonte turned to look at Nick. "Where do you live?"
"Wait, you mean that you have a car!?" Nick said, amazed.
"Um, yeah, that's usually how we civilians get around nowadays, unless you're too poor to own a car and you use a bike instead."
"Well, I failed Driver's ED so they decided not to even permit me to take the written test." Nick said, smiling.
"Nick, I hope that you know that that's not something to be proud of..." Meryl said, embarrassed with her friend's idiocy.
"Well, anyway, I live about four blocks away from Meryl and if you take a left on a street with pretty colors and then a right with another left, you'll..." Nick was cut off.
"Nick, you're staying at my house, remember?" Meryl said.
"Oh yeah, huh?"
"What, are you guys like brother and sister or something?" Demonte asked.
"No, it's a long story, I'll tell you later." Meryl turned to Nick. "What time, Nick?"
"Well it depends. You see, if you want the sparring class, you go there at 6. But if you want sparring and karate, then you go at 7. But then..."
"6:30?" Meryl cut him off again. "Okay."
"Close, it's 6:45 and three seconds. Sensei is very picky about the time. If you come in too soon, you'll be sent home. If you come in too late, you're kicked out of the class permanently."
Meryl blinked. "WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT!?"
"Well, I'm usually never late, so you guys will have nothing to fear."
"Knowing you, Nick, we have everything in the world to fear."
That night, Meryl was spending her time relaxing on her bed, reading Hamlet, her school assignment in English. Just then, the phone rang. Irritated, Meryl chucked her book out of a window and went to answer the phone.
"What!?" She snapped.
"Hey Stryfe," It was Knives. Meryl groaned.
"What is it, Saverem? You never call me."
"I need a favor."
"What?"
"The Principal has been giving us a hard time. Don't tell him that we were the ones who blew up the lab, okay?"
"Why are you just asking me? Don't you know that the other students will rat you out?"
"Actually, Legato has consulted the Great One and he told the other students that if they tell, he'll do to them what he did to Mrs. Finch. Oh and don't tell anyone about that either. I'm just telling you to save you the torture of being threatened. Be grateful that I'm so generous."
"Oh, believe me Knives," She said, unenthusiastically, "I am."
"Hey, who was that kid that you partnered up with in Science today?"
"Demonte?"
"Yeah, that's him. I see he joined our Science Class."
"He's joined a couple of my classes, Knives. Why do you care?"
"Just wondering. You two seemed to spend a lot of time together today. Just wondering if there was any latest news that I could spread."
Meryl paused before she could see where Knives was headed. "NO Knives, he is NOT my boyfriend!"
"Okay, okay, sheesh...It was just a thought..."
Meryl slammed the phone down and sighed. The phone rang again and she quickly picked it up. "KNIVES! STOP CALLING HERE!"
"Meryl?" It was Demonte.
"Oh, I'm sorry Demonte. I thought that you were someone else."
"It's no problem. I'm calling you from my cell phone; I'm driving to your place now. Hey, did Wolfwood tell us to wear anything in particular?"
"Nah," She said. "Just something comfortable. He gets his own uniform though. But it doesn't matter."
"All right then. I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Late," She said before dropping the phone back on the receiver.
"Who was that, darling?" Meryl's father, Jim, strolled into the living room.
"Oh, I'm going out with some friends, daddy."
"Looking like that?" Her father pointed to her sweatpants and tank top."
"Yeah, we're going to the gym," She lied.
"Well that's nice. Do you need a ride?"
"Nah, I got one."
"Okay darling." Jim walked back into the kitchen and Meryl sighed.
"Pssst! Meryl!" Meryl looked up and saw Nick on the top of the stairs, peeking through the railing. "C'mere!"
She followed him to her room and he pointed to the uniform in his hands.
"Look! I went back to my house and found my uniform out in the street. What luck! It saved me the trouble of having to go inside."
"What kind of uniform is that?"
"I take Kung-Fu, so this is my polyester uniform. Isn't it great!?"
"Nick...it's periwinkle. Why did you get a periwinkle uniform?"
"Because it looked cool!"
Meryl rolled her eyes. "Demonte is on his way over, so we have to climb out the window or else you'll be caught."
"Gotcha."
Suddenly, a horn honked outside and Meryl looked out her window. "Demonte's here."
"Great!" Nick smiled and opened the window. "Watch this!" Nick dived out the window and crashed through Meryl's garage.
"That IDIOT!" Meryl slapped herself in the forehead and ran down the stairs. "My ride is here daddy!" She said quickly as she ran out the door.
"Dear, did you hear a giant crash just now?" Her mother, Martha, walked into the room.
"Um...No!" Meryl said as she slammed the door behind her.
Meanwhile, Nick had managed to escape from the garage and trample through Meryl's mother's flowers and vegetable garden. Everything was smashed and destroyed.
"NICK!" Meryl screamed. "MY MOTHER WILL BE FURIOUS!"
Nick shrugged. "They're just flowers, Meryl. They'll grow back in a week." He turned to look back at the annihilated flowers. "Or ten."
"Get in the car," She growled.
"But I'm not dressed yet!"
"Then...get dressed in the back of the car!"
Meryl climbed into the front seat of Demonte's Nissan and Nick climbed into the back.
"All right, where to?" Demonte asked, as he pulled out of Meryl's driveway.
"Make a right up here then circle to a left with another right and two ups with three biscuits and..."
"Turn left Demonte, and keep going straight until I tell you to turn." Meryl cut in.
"Nicky! You're late again!" Nick's Sensei screamed as he rapped his katana against a wall.
"Forgive me Sensei," Nick bowed apologetically.
"That's no excuse! I would send you home, but since you've brought friends, I'm only going to make you do Military push-ups for fifteen minutes!"
"Oh no!" Nick cried. "Not the single-fingered over exaggerated handicap pushups!"
"Oh YES! Now drop and push!" His Sensei screamed.
"Nicky?" Meryl whispered to Demonte. He shrugged as the Sensei approached them.
"I thought Nick said that he was never late," He whispered back.
"I apologize for my student here, who isn't even worth calling my student! Anyway, please join us. As you can see, you are the only three here today so we will practice forms and fight using our well-known techniques. Since Nicky is busy at the moment, I shall teach you how to engage in combat. Watch what I do."
So Meryl and Demonte practiced forms for most of the time, while Nick kept getting yelled at and having to do the single-fingered pushups. Finally came the time to fight.
"Nick and Demonte," Sensei said. "You first."
Demonte and Nick were sent into the circle and began to punch and kick at each other. Demonte, surprisingly, was very good and beat Nick down.
"NICKY! HORRIBLE PERFORMANCE! YOUR PUNISHMENT IS TO FIGHT ME!" His Sensei screamed as he entered the ring.
Nick's teeth chattered in fear as he began to throw weak punches at his Sensei. Finally, Nick screamed and threw a front kick, catching Sensei in between the legs.
"UGH!" Sensei screamed and crumpled to the floor.
"Nick! You killed him!" Meryl screamed, holding a hand to her mouth.
"Sensei?" Nick nudged him lightly with his foot and blinked. "Sensei are you okay?"
But the man did not move. He twitched involuntarily from time to time, but the status proved that Sensei was dead.
"NO!" Nick screamed. "NOW I'LL NEVER GET MY YELLOW BELT IN THE MAIL!"
"Nick...is that ALL YOU CARE ABOUT!?" Meryl screamed as Nick sniffed.
Demonte looked at his watch. "It's only 7:30. Let's go to the arcade before it gets any darker." He stared at the dead Sensei. "Um, I think that he'll be okay here for a little while."
Demonte parked the car in front of Silver Square and the three walked in, Nick crying the whole way.
"He was the best Sensei I ever had," Nick sniffed. "Then I just had to go and kick him in the crotch. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?"
"At least you changed out of that goofy uniform, Nick," Meryl said. "They have a diner in here. We'll eat and then play."
The three settled down in Jean's Diner and ordered a light meal and sat at the counter. Nick just picked at his food, tears streaming down his face.
"Nick, it's okay," Meryl reassured.
"But he never got a eulogy..." Nick sobbed. "What kind of priest am I!?"
"You're a priest?" Demonte asked, amazed.
"Almost."
"Well Nick, then give him a eulogy here."
"It's too LATE FOR A EULOGY! I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT WHEN HE DIED!" Nick wailed.
"Nick shut up! People can hear you!" Meryl hissed.
"I don't care..." Nick sniffled.
"I give up," Meryl sighed. She turned to look at Demonte. "Well Demonte, how do you like it here?"
"It's okay," He shrugged. "It's better than the city. It seems much more reserved here."
"Yeah," Meryl agreed. "It is."
"Your friends are kind of..." Demonte looked at Nick. "Weird."
"Yeah," Meryl said. "I know. But there's a lot to do here and stuff when you don't wanna hang out with them."
"Ha, Well that's always good."
"It is. So, tell me, how was your life in the city?"
"I hated it. I used to get into a lot of trouble there. I got into a lot of fights. I'm glad we moved."
"Really? Why did you fight?"
"Different reasons. Looking back, I see that all the fights were pretty stupid."
"That explains why you're so good at fighting. You took down Nick in the ring."
"THE RING!" Nick wailed. "I'LL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN BECAUSE SENSEI IS...DEAD!"
"Oh shout it loud enough, why don't you? The cops are going to arrest you ya' know." Meryl said.
"OH RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU!?" Nick pounded a fist against the table.
Meryl sighed and then a man rushed through the door.
"Oh dear mercy, help me!" The man cried as he began to run in circles.
"Um..." Demonte blinked. "Who the heck is that?"
Nick looked up and gasped.
"Calm down, Mister," A man patted the panicking man on the back. "What seems to be the matter?" Nick quickly grabbed a newspaper and pulled it over his head to disguise himself.
"My little Nicky!" The panicking man wailed. "He's been kidnapped!"
"Nick," Meryl whispered. "Isn't that your dad?"
"Shhh!" He hissed. "Pretend I'm not here!"
"That's kinda hard to do, Nick, since you stand out the most with that newspaper on your head!" Meryl shook her head and sighed. A headache was coming on.
"My little Nicky!" Nick's father, Joseph, held a hand to his weeping face. "We went to check up on him at the hole and he was gone! Someone must've stolen him and forced him to work with gnomes in the caravan!"
"Easy there, Mister Wolfwood," Another man helped to calm Nick's father. "We'll send the police out right away."
"The police!?" Joseph was appalled. "The POLICE won't be enough to find my little Nicky! We must send in the corps! The marines! The navy and the S.W.A.T. team and the Calvary! He'll never survive on his own! He's only a baby!"
"I'm seventeen, dad," Nick mumbled to himself.
"Nick, I thought you said that your parents never go to the hole while you're in it!" Meryl leaned over and whispered.
"They don't normally..." Nick sighed. "But if I come out of hiding now and they catch me, I'll be in the hole until I'm fifty! And I'll still be a virgin! So I'll just stay right here where it's nice and safe."
"OH THE HUMANITY!" Joseph walked over and slapped Nick on the head and began to shake him. "Isn't it just TERRIBLE MISTER!?" Nick's face grew with horror under the newspaper as his father continued to shake his shoulders.
"Oh Meryl!" Joseph released Nick's shoulders and began to shake Meryl's. "Meryl! Nicky is gone! Presumably DEAD! I'll never see him again!" Joseph began to sob and snatched the newspaper from Nick's head. "GIMME THAT! I MUST GRIEVE PROPERLY!" Nick screeched and dove over the counter, landing face-first on the ground.
"Um, Meryl," Demonte darted his eyes to the counter, where Nick was hiding, and stood up. "It's such a shame that your friend is missing. Why don't we do the honors of trying to find Mr. Wolfwood's lost son? Outside I mean..."
"You're absolutely right Demonte!" Meryl grabbed Demonte's arm and dashed outside, Nick not far behind. He hid his hands over his head to keep from being noticed.
"GONE! GONE!" Joseph sobbed. "GONE...FOREVER!!!"
Meanwhile, outside, Demonte pushed the key into the ignition and started the car as Meryl and Nick dove inside.
"Good grief Nick!" Meryl looked at him, her face hardening. "Now what are you gonna do!?"
"Um...stay in hiding forever?"
"That's not a very good idea," Demonte pulled out of the Silver Square. "Maybe you should just assent to the thing about being kidnapped by gnomes in the caravan."
"NO WAY!" Nick shouted, leaning over the front seat. "I'm not losing my dignity to THAT lame excuse!"
"And I wonder if it would be a good idea for you to keep staying at my house, seeing as your mom and my mom are best friends," Meryl sighed. "Once my mom finds out that you're missing, it's no doubt that she'll come to me asking."
"So now where am I going to stay!?" Nick's bottom lip began to tremble.
"Well..." Demonte tilted his head to the side. "I suppose you could stay with me...My grandpa won't mind, seeing as he isn't home much anyway."
"Really?" Meryl inquired. "What does he do for a living?"
"He's a photographer. He does a little of this, a little of that, but he's gone a lot. Well actually..."
"What?" Nick asked. "You just remembered that I couldn't stay with you?"
"No, my grandpa will be at home for a few weeks, since we just moved here, but he'll be gone again before you know it. In the meantime, I'll just assure him that you're a friend spending the night because your parents are out of town and you're scared of the dark."
"Gee, I think that that excuse will hurt my pride more than the gnomes and the caravan." Nick glowered.
"Do you want a place to stay until we figure out what do to or don't you?" Demonte looked at Nick, who was still leaning over the front seat.
"Fine, fine, but think of another reason why I'm over there. I am NOT afraid of the dark. I have the Lord's protection." Nick smiled and looked at Meryl. "Sorry Meryl, it was fun but I guess I'm moving out."
"Praise the Lord." Meryl said unenthusiastically.
Demonte dropped Meryl off at her house and she walked in, pretending not to notice the large hole in her garage from earlier. As she opened the door, she heard strings of curses and stomping...coming from the other room.
"Friggin mongooses!" Meryl's father stomped from room to room, pictures falling from the walls because of the turbulence in the atmosphere.
"What's wrong daddy?" Meryl asked, slipping her shoes from her feet.
"Those friggin mongooses put a hole in the garage! How they could do something that big, I don't KNOW!"
"Dad...We don't HAVE mongooses in Gunsmoke."
"Precisely!" Her father rose a finger. "They're planning a multi- attack invasion on Gunsmoke! I've known it since the incident with the TV and the tin can."
"..."
"Don't worry honey, DADDY will make things RIGHT again!"
She watched as her father proceeded to pull his sniper off of the wall where it had been hanging peacefully, and cocked it.
"Dad...What are you doing?"
"Can't you tell? I'm going to war with the mongooses. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, tell your mother to cancel dinner."
He stormed out the door and Meryl sighed. Then the phone rang. She turned and plucked it from the receiver. "Hello?"
"Meryl!" Someone was crying. Then she recognized the voice.
"Vash?"
"Oh it's so horrible!"
"What?"
"I just heard the news of Nick's death!"
Meryl facefaulted. "Nick's not dead you MORON!"
"That's not true! His father just called and told us of the horrible news! Knives isn't taking it well at all! He's in his room at this very moment..."
# In Knives' room #
"What do you mean 'am I sure'? Of COURSE I'm sure! They just called here and told us of Wolfwood's death. Now we can prepare our plans for world domination without interference! This is the best day of my life!" Knives cackled maniacally and lightning shot through the sky.
# Meryl's Room #
"Vash...Nick isn't dead...trust me."
"Oh poor Meryl, always in denial!" Vash sobbed.
Meryl sighed heavily and rubbed her temple. "Look Vash, I'm very busy right now, I don't have time for this. Shouldn't you be calling Melissa or something?"
"I would be, but she had dance lessons. Oh my dearest Melissa! I miss her so much! I wrote another love poem for her, do you want to hear it?"
"NO!" Meryl screamed, suddenly becoming enraged. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"Geez, Meryl, you don't have to get all angry and stuff. Just because YOU don't have a boyfriend..."
CLICK!
Meryl slammed the phone down and walked into the other room. Tomorrow would come soon enough.
Just to let you know, I only did this Kung-Fu episode cause I take Kung-Fu and my brother and I were portraying Nick in Kung-Fu. So I just had to write this. The next chapter will be better. Such as...Nick! And his DDR machine. What will Nick's parents do? And, will Vash and Melissa last? FIND OUT!!! Eventually...
Blood_Lotus_Demonwalker
BTW: THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED THIS STORY! It makes me happy to know that I have loving fans. grin
Hunting For The Elusive Mayfly Known As Love...Not
Chapter 4
Meeting Demonte Kalabis
Lunchtime came and Meryl found her appetite to be gone. Not only had she lost yet another teacher to the hands of idiotic people, but in English, while she had been associating with Milly, Vash had stupidly jumped on top of the table reciting a love poem he had written for Melissa, who just HAPPENED to be in that English class. In his hand, he held a long meter stick and while he had been shouting and prancing, he had slammed the stick into the wall, leaving a huge hole in the wall and in Mr. Weasel's heart, as he had been so attached to that wall.
Meryl convinced herself that she wasn't jealous of Melissa, who was sitting with Vash at a table far across the cafeteria, but only annoyed because Vash would become MORE annoying than he was now. Wolfwood was sitting with Milly at the table where her friends hung out. They had invited Meryl to come sit with them, but Meryl simply said no and that she wasn't feeling well. Thank goodness for her, Knives was sitting with his lackeys, discussing world domination.
"Do you like being a loner?" Meryl looked up, startled, and saw Demonte above her.
"N-No, I'm not a loner," She said, looking away from him. "I just don't feel like hanging out with my friends right now."
Demonte held out a hand to her, which she generously took. "You already know my name, but I vaguely know yours, Miss Stryfe." He shook her hand.
"Oh," She said, releasing his hand. "It's Meryl."
"That's a nice name," He said, his face still emotionless. "Do you mind then if I eat lunch with you?"
"Not at all," She scooted over and allowed him to sit at the table. She paused and then decided to begin another conversation. "So, you live here with your Grandpa?"
"Yeah, well, he's not my real Grandpa. I was adopted actually."
"Oh...I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm happy the way I live."
"So, where do you live?"
"Five blocks away from the school." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Over on Little Jersey."
"That's a street behind where I live!" Meryl said, excited. "I live on New Oregon."
"That's good," Demonte said, his eyes staying fixed on his food. "You'll have to come to my house sometime and meet my Grandpa."
Meryl flushed. Suddenly, Nick came running over, out of breath, shouting Meryl's name.
"I forgot to tell you!" He slowed down to catch his breath. "I have martial arts tonight."
"...And?" Meryl rolled her eyes. "What's the big deal?"
"I'm on restriction, remember?"
"So?"
"Well, my Sensei won't let me into the class unless someone is there with me. It's the rule my parents gave him the first time I was stuck in the hole. BUT! They never specified WHO has to be there. So, if you come tonight, JOIN PLEASE, so I can go to class."
"Why is it so important tonight?"
"Well, one, I have NEVER missed a class since I've joined six years ago, AND I'm still a white belt. They're telling me that I'll get my yellow belt any day now."
Meryl blinked. "What? You've been in it for six years and...you're still a WHITE belt?"
"Well I would be a green but my yellow belt got lost at the parcel service and they just got too lazy to order me another one."
"So you're stuck as a white belt?" Meryl stifled a laugh.
"In a nutshell."
"Aren't you ever going to move up?"
"Well, Sensei said that they would resume searching for my belt in a couple years. Until then...yeah, I'm a white belt."
"Well," Demonte looked up at Nick. "It sounds like fun. I'll join."
"And who might you be?" Nick turned in Demonte's direction.
"Kalabis," Demonte extended a hand. "Demonte Kalabis."
"Nicholas D. Wolfwood," Nick took his hand. "But 'Nick' is just fine."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Demonte said, his voice still low.
"The pleasure is all mine." Nick turned to look at Meryl. "What about you Meryl? Your boyfriend here is joining," He pointed to Demonte and Meryl flushed.
"He's not my boyfriend," She quickly protested.
"Sure, whatever you say. Anyway, are you gonna join?"
Meryl sighed. "I'll try it for one night and then see how it goes, all right?"
Nick grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks Mer! You won't be sorry!"
"I'll come and pick you both up and we'll go," Demonte turned to look at Nick. "Where do you live?"
"Wait, you mean that you have a car!?" Nick said, amazed.
"Um, yeah, that's usually how we civilians get around nowadays, unless you're too poor to own a car and you use a bike instead."
"Well, I failed Driver's ED so they decided not to even permit me to take the written test." Nick said, smiling.
"Nick, I hope that you know that that's not something to be proud of..." Meryl said, embarrassed with her friend's idiocy.
"Well, anyway, I live about four blocks away from Meryl and if you take a left on a street with pretty colors and then a right with another left, you'll..." Nick was cut off.
"Nick, you're staying at my house, remember?" Meryl said.
"Oh yeah, huh?"
"What, are you guys like brother and sister or something?" Demonte asked.
"No, it's a long story, I'll tell you later." Meryl turned to Nick. "What time, Nick?"
"Well it depends. You see, if you want the sparring class, you go there at 6. But if you want sparring and karate, then you go at 7. But then..."
"6:30?" Meryl cut him off again. "Okay."
"Close, it's 6:45 and three seconds. Sensei is very picky about the time. If you come in too soon, you'll be sent home. If you come in too late, you're kicked out of the class permanently."
Meryl blinked. "WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT!?"
"Well, I'm usually never late, so you guys will have nothing to fear."
"Knowing you, Nick, we have everything in the world to fear."
That night, Meryl was spending her time relaxing on her bed, reading Hamlet, her school assignment in English. Just then, the phone rang. Irritated, Meryl chucked her book out of a window and went to answer the phone.
"What!?" She snapped.
"Hey Stryfe," It was Knives. Meryl groaned.
"What is it, Saverem? You never call me."
"I need a favor."
"What?"
"The Principal has been giving us a hard time. Don't tell him that we were the ones who blew up the lab, okay?"
"Why are you just asking me? Don't you know that the other students will rat you out?"
"Actually, Legato has consulted the Great One and he told the other students that if they tell, he'll do to them what he did to Mrs. Finch. Oh and don't tell anyone about that either. I'm just telling you to save you the torture of being threatened. Be grateful that I'm so generous."
"Oh, believe me Knives," She said, unenthusiastically, "I am."
"Hey, who was that kid that you partnered up with in Science today?"
"Demonte?"
"Yeah, that's him. I see he joined our Science Class."
"He's joined a couple of my classes, Knives. Why do you care?"
"Just wondering. You two seemed to spend a lot of time together today. Just wondering if there was any latest news that I could spread."
Meryl paused before she could see where Knives was headed. "NO Knives, he is NOT my boyfriend!"
"Okay, okay, sheesh...It was just a thought..."
Meryl slammed the phone down and sighed. The phone rang again and she quickly picked it up. "KNIVES! STOP CALLING HERE!"
"Meryl?" It was Demonte.
"Oh, I'm sorry Demonte. I thought that you were someone else."
"It's no problem. I'm calling you from my cell phone; I'm driving to your place now. Hey, did Wolfwood tell us to wear anything in particular?"
"Nah," She said. "Just something comfortable. He gets his own uniform though. But it doesn't matter."
"All right then. I'll see you in a few minutes."
"Late," She said before dropping the phone back on the receiver.
"Who was that, darling?" Meryl's father, Jim, strolled into the living room.
"Oh, I'm going out with some friends, daddy."
"Looking like that?" Her father pointed to her sweatpants and tank top."
"Yeah, we're going to the gym," She lied.
"Well that's nice. Do you need a ride?"
"Nah, I got one."
"Okay darling." Jim walked back into the kitchen and Meryl sighed.
"Pssst! Meryl!" Meryl looked up and saw Nick on the top of the stairs, peeking through the railing. "C'mere!"
She followed him to her room and he pointed to the uniform in his hands.
"Look! I went back to my house and found my uniform out in the street. What luck! It saved me the trouble of having to go inside."
"What kind of uniform is that?"
"I take Kung-Fu, so this is my polyester uniform. Isn't it great!?"
"Nick...it's periwinkle. Why did you get a periwinkle uniform?"
"Because it looked cool!"
Meryl rolled her eyes. "Demonte is on his way over, so we have to climb out the window or else you'll be caught."
"Gotcha."
Suddenly, a horn honked outside and Meryl looked out her window. "Demonte's here."
"Great!" Nick smiled and opened the window. "Watch this!" Nick dived out the window and crashed through Meryl's garage.
"That IDIOT!" Meryl slapped herself in the forehead and ran down the stairs. "My ride is here daddy!" She said quickly as she ran out the door.
"Dear, did you hear a giant crash just now?" Her mother, Martha, walked into the room.
"Um...No!" Meryl said as she slammed the door behind her.
Meanwhile, Nick had managed to escape from the garage and trample through Meryl's mother's flowers and vegetable garden. Everything was smashed and destroyed.
"NICK!" Meryl screamed. "MY MOTHER WILL BE FURIOUS!"
Nick shrugged. "They're just flowers, Meryl. They'll grow back in a week." He turned to look back at the annihilated flowers. "Or ten."
"Get in the car," She growled.
"But I'm not dressed yet!"
"Then...get dressed in the back of the car!"
Meryl climbed into the front seat of Demonte's Nissan and Nick climbed into the back.
"All right, where to?" Demonte asked, as he pulled out of Meryl's driveway.
"Make a right up here then circle to a left with another right and two ups with three biscuits and..."
"Turn left Demonte, and keep going straight until I tell you to turn." Meryl cut in.
"Nicky! You're late again!" Nick's Sensei screamed as he rapped his katana against a wall.
"Forgive me Sensei," Nick bowed apologetically.
"That's no excuse! I would send you home, but since you've brought friends, I'm only going to make you do Military push-ups for fifteen minutes!"
"Oh no!" Nick cried. "Not the single-fingered over exaggerated handicap pushups!"
"Oh YES! Now drop and push!" His Sensei screamed.
"Nicky?" Meryl whispered to Demonte. He shrugged as the Sensei approached them.
"I thought Nick said that he was never late," He whispered back.
"I apologize for my student here, who isn't even worth calling my student! Anyway, please join us. As you can see, you are the only three here today so we will practice forms and fight using our well-known techniques. Since Nicky is busy at the moment, I shall teach you how to engage in combat. Watch what I do."
So Meryl and Demonte practiced forms for most of the time, while Nick kept getting yelled at and having to do the single-fingered pushups. Finally came the time to fight.
"Nick and Demonte," Sensei said. "You first."
Demonte and Nick were sent into the circle and began to punch and kick at each other. Demonte, surprisingly, was very good and beat Nick down.
"NICKY! HORRIBLE PERFORMANCE! YOUR PUNISHMENT IS TO FIGHT ME!" His Sensei screamed as he entered the ring.
Nick's teeth chattered in fear as he began to throw weak punches at his Sensei. Finally, Nick screamed and threw a front kick, catching Sensei in between the legs.
"UGH!" Sensei screamed and crumpled to the floor.
"Nick! You killed him!" Meryl screamed, holding a hand to her mouth.
"Sensei?" Nick nudged him lightly with his foot and blinked. "Sensei are you okay?"
But the man did not move. He twitched involuntarily from time to time, but the status proved that Sensei was dead.
"NO!" Nick screamed. "NOW I'LL NEVER GET MY YELLOW BELT IN THE MAIL!"
"Nick...is that ALL YOU CARE ABOUT!?" Meryl screamed as Nick sniffed.
Demonte looked at his watch. "It's only 7:30. Let's go to the arcade before it gets any darker." He stared at the dead Sensei. "Um, I think that he'll be okay here for a little while."
Demonte parked the car in front of Silver Square and the three walked in, Nick crying the whole way.
"He was the best Sensei I ever had," Nick sniffed. "Then I just had to go and kick him in the crotch. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?"
"At least you changed out of that goofy uniform, Nick," Meryl said. "They have a diner in here. We'll eat and then play."
The three settled down in Jean's Diner and ordered a light meal and sat at the counter. Nick just picked at his food, tears streaming down his face.
"Nick, it's okay," Meryl reassured.
"But he never got a eulogy..." Nick sobbed. "What kind of priest am I!?"
"You're a priest?" Demonte asked, amazed.
"Almost."
"Well Nick, then give him a eulogy here."
"It's too LATE FOR A EULOGY! I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO IT WHEN HE DIED!" Nick wailed.
"Nick shut up! People can hear you!" Meryl hissed.
"I don't care..." Nick sniffled.
"I give up," Meryl sighed. She turned to look at Demonte. "Well Demonte, how do you like it here?"
"It's okay," He shrugged. "It's better than the city. It seems much more reserved here."
"Yeah," Meryl agreed. "It is."
"Your friends are kind of..." Demonte looked at Nick. "Weird."
"Yeah," Meryl said. "I know. But there's a lot to do here and stuff when you don't wanna hang out with them."
"Ha, Well that's always good."
"It is. So, tell me, how was your life in the city?"
"I hated it. I used to get into a lot of trouble there. I got into a lot of fights. I'm glad we moved."
"Really? Why did you fight?"
"Different reasons. Looking back, I see that all the fights were pretty stupid."
"That explains why you're so good at fighting. You took down Nick in the ring."
"THE RING!" Nick wailed. "I'LL NEVER SEE IT AGAIN BECAUSE SENSEI IS...DEAD!"
"Oh shout it loud enough, why don't you? The cops are going to arrest you ya' know." Meryl said.
"OH RUB IT IN WHY DON'T YOU!?" Nick pounded a fist against the table.
Meryl sighed and then a man rushed through the door.
"Oh dear mercy, help me!" The man cried as he began to run in circles.
"Um..." Demonte blinked. "Who the heck is that?"
Nick looked up and gasped.
"Calm down, Mister," A man patted the panicking man on the back. "What seems to be the matter?" Nick quickly grabbed a newspaper and pulled it over his head to disguise himself.
"My little Nicky!" The panicking man wailed. "He's been kidnapped!"
"Nick," Meryl whispered. "Isn't that your dad?"
"Shhh!" He hissed. "Pretend I'm not here!"
"That's kinda hard to do, Nick, since you stand out the most with that newspaper on your head!" Meryl shook her head and sighed. A headache was coming on.
"My little Nicky!" Nick's father, Joseph, held a hand to his weeping face. "We went to check up on him at the hole and he was gone! Someone must've stolen him and forced him to work with gnomes in the caravan!"
"Easy there, Mister Wolfwood," Another man helped to calm Nick's father. "We'll send the police out right away."
"The police!?" Joseph was appalled. "The POLICE won't be enough to find my little Nicky! We must send in the corps! The marines! The navy and the S.W.A.T. team and the Calvary! He'll never survive on his own! He's only a baby!"
"I'm seventeen, dad," Nick mumbled to himself.
"Nick, I thought you said that your parents never go to the hole while you're in it!" Meryl leaned over and whispered.
"They don't normally..." Nick sighed. "But if I come out of hiding now and they catch me, I'll be in the hole until I'm fifty! And I'll still be a virgin! So I'll just stay right here where it's nice and safe."
"OH THE HUMANITY!" Joseph walked over and slapped Nick on the head and began to shake him. "Isn't it just TERRIBLE MISTER!?" Nick's face grew with horror under the newspaper as his father continued to shake his shoulders.
"Oh Meryl!" Joseph released Nick's shoulders and began to shake Meryl's. "Meryl! Nicky is gone! Presumably DEAD! I'll never see him again!" Joseph began to sob and snatched the newspaper from Nick's head. "GIMME THAT! I MUST GRIEVE PROPERLY!" Nick screeched and dove over the counter, landing face-first on the ground.
"Um, Meryl," Demonte darted his eyes to the counter, where Nick was hiding, and stood up. "It's such a shame that your friend is missing. Why don't we do the honors of trying to find Mr. Wolfwood's lost son? Outside I mean..."
"You're absolutely right Demonte!" Meryl grabbed Demonte's arm and dashed outside, Nick not far behind. He hid his hands over his head to keep from being noticed.
"GONE! GONE!" Joseph sobbed. "GONE...FOREVER!!!"
Meanwhile, outside, Demonte pushed the key into the ignition and started the car as Meryl and Nick dove inside.
"Good grief Nick!" Meryl looked at him, her face hardening. "Now what are you gonna do!?"
"Um...stay in hiding forever?"
"That's not a very good idea," Demonte pulled out of the Silver Square. "Maybe you should just assent to the thing about being kidnapped by gnomes in the caravan."
"NO WAY!" Nick shouted, leaning over the front seat. "I'm not losing my dignity to THAT lame excuse!"
"And I wonder if it would be a good idea for you to keep staying at my house, seeing as your mom and my mom are best friends," Meryl sighed. "Once my mom finds out that you're missing, it's no doubt that she'll come to me asking."
"So now where am I going to stay!?" Nick's bottom lip began to tremble.
"Well..." Demonte tilted his head to the side. "I suppose you could stay with me...My grandpa won't mind, seeing as he isn't home much anyway."
"Really?" Meryl inquired. "What does he do for a living?"
"He's a photographer. He does a little of this, a little of that, but he's gone a lot. Well actually..."
"What?" Nick asked. "You just remembered that I couldn't stay with you?"
"No, my grandpa will be at home for a few weeks, since we just moved here, but he'll be gone again before you know it. In the meantime, I'll just assure him that you're a friend spending the night because your parents are out of town and you're scared of the dark."
"Gee, I think that that excuse will hurt my pride more than the gnomes and the caravan." Nick glowered.
"Do you want a place to stay until we figure out what do to or don't you?" Demonte looked at Nick, who was still leaning over the front seat.
"Fine, fine, but think of another reason why I'm over there. I am NOT afraid of the dark. I have the Lord's protection." Nick smiled and looked at Meryl. "Sorry Meryl, it was fun but I guess I'm moving out."
"Praise the Lord." Meryl said unenthusiastically.
Demonte dropped Meryl off at her house and she walked in, pretending not to notice the large hole in her garage from earlier. As she opened the door, she heard strings of curses and stomping...coming from the other room.
"Friggin mongooses!" Meryl's father stomped from room to room, pictures falling from the walls because of the turbulence in the atmosphere.
"What's wrong daddy?" Meryl asked, slipping her shoes from her feet.
"Those friggin mongooses put a hole in the garage! How they could do something that big, I don't KNOW!"
"Dad...We don't HAVE mongooses in Gunsmoke."
"Precisely!" Her father rose a finger. "They're planning a multi- attack invasion on Gunsmoke! I've known it since the incident with the TV and the tin can."
"..."
"Don't worry honey, DADDY will make things RIGHT again!"
She watched as her father proceeded to pull his sniper off of the wall where it had been hanging peacefully, and cocked it.
"Dad...What are you doing?"
"Can't you tell? I'm going to war with the mongooses. If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, tell your mother to cancel dinner."
He stormed out the door and Meryl sighed. Then the phone rang. She turned and plucked it from the receiver. "Hello?"
"Meryl!" Someone was crying. Then she recognized the voice.
"Vash?"
"Oh it's so horrible!"
"What?"
"I just heard the news of Nick's death!"
Meryl facefaulted. "Nick's not dead you MORON!"
"That's not true! His father just called and told us of the horrible news! Knives isn't taking it well at all! He's in his room at this very moment..."
# In Knives' room #
"What do you mean 'am I sure'? Of COURSE I'm sure! They just called here and told us of Wolfwood's death. Now we can prepare our plans for world domination without interference! This is the best day of my life!" Knives cackled maniacally and lightning shot through the sky.
# Meryl's Room #
"Vash...Nick isn't dead...trust me."
"Oh poor Meryl, always in denial!" Vash sobbed.
Meryl sighed heavily and rubbed her temple. "Look Vash, I'm very busy right now, I don't have time for this. Shouldn't you be calling Melissa or something?"
"I would be, but she had dance lessons. Oh my dearest Melissa! I miss her so much! I wrote another love poem for her, do you want to hear it?"
"NO!" Meryl screamed, suddenly becoming enraged. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!"
"Geez, Meryl, you don't have to get all angry and stuff. Just because YOU don't have a boyfriend..."
CLICK!
Meryl slammed the phone down and walked into the other room. Tomorrow would come soon enough.
Just to let you know, I only did this Kung-Fu episode cause I take Kung-Fu and my brother and I were portraying Nick in Kung-Fu. So I just had to write this. The next chapter will be better. Such as...Nick! And his DDR machine. What will Nick's parents do? And, will Vash and Melissa last? FIND OUT!!! Eventually...
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