Mother Knows Best
Author: Bunni
Disclaimer:*Chibi-Bra holds up sign that says, "Don't Own DBZ So don't bug me!" and growls menacingly at everyone*
Bunni:*backs away*..eep..
Shout out to:
Sue: *big grin* Oh they're up to something... you don't worry what.. well actually their plans take flight in the next chapter ^^;; but this one is hilarious with Piccolo (ya gotta love him!)
SapphireAngelOfNight: LOL! Your review got ME realing with laughter! *wipes tear from eye* Piccolo sure comes in handy in insanely funny scenes.
Piccolo:*unamused face* You made a total fool of me! *growls*
Bunni: ^_^;; Eh... you see I did that because- um... bye! *gets on scooter and flies away into a portal*
Piccolo:O.o;; Damn it! *flies after her*
dragon's moon: Yup!
TigerQueen: LOL, yes poor Piccolo!*insane laughter* It's gets much much funnier. The poor Namek's sanity is balancing on a thin thread here, and it's about to snap! ^^
Squirrel: LOL, Piccolo is sure to be safe in your hands. -_-;; He just seems to suffer at mine...
Shadowmusic: There ya go! More like you asked.
The Dark Shadow Mystress: AH! Sorry ^^;; I'll just put a citrus then, or you could skip it. ^^;; Yeah you'd better skip the middle part then.
Mother Knows Best
Chapter Five
Early Morning Of Passions..not..
Goku yawned as he and Piccolo set down on the ground.(AN: Hey I'm a poet and don't know it ... wait a minute.. O.o yes I do! Highly confusing.. O-O;;) Piccolo had acted strangely happy throughout the whole flight, whether that be that he finally got Goku to shut up, or the fact that he COULD make the Saiyajin shut up.
"So Piccolo.." Goku started, stopping hesitantly as he looked at the green alien. Piccolo shrugged, happy to at least had a moment's (more like an hour) of peace if none.
They were in front of Goku's house, the only ones awake at the hour.
"I was wondering.. could we have a team?"
"What do you mean by 'team', Goku?" Piccolo asked, slightly scared of the answer.
"You know, have everyone joined in on it. Gohan, Krillian, Tien, Launch, and I just met this girl named Bunni, the other day, who-"
"AAAAAAAHH!! NO!!!" Piccolo screamed as he ran inside the Son household. Goku was left clueless outside.
"Wonder what got into him..?" Goku said outloud to himself as he followed the Namek inside, before Chichi would bang him with her frying pan.
-----
"WAKE UP!!!" Master Roshi yelled as the bald-headed man with six dots on his head sprang up from the bed, and immediately had a look of panic. Were the androids there already???
The answer was no.
Krillian groaned as he looked up from the floor to the grinning old hentai of a man. This had been a regular in the past five months: Krillian would go to sleep, be waken up at 4:01 A.M. exactly each morning (which he still wasn't used to), forced to eat burnt toast (if you could call it that) and eggs (which crawled off his plate the other day when he wasn't looking, O.O), with what he could assume to be: broiled shellfish with black rice. Let it be known that whatever Master Roshi cooks is bound to be one of three things:
1.) radioactive and/or hazard to one's health
2.) was once living in the sea
3.) can walk on its' own free will even after it's cooked [also has either eyes, a mouth, or a nose in odd places, such as his eggs, which he kind of felt weird and queasy after eating.]
"Time for the Roshi special!" Muten Roshi cheerfully said, as he got out a frying pan and pot. Krillian looked down at his poor tummy. Could he really take another one of the "Roshi Special"s?
Heck no!
"Uh, hey Master Roshi, I just remembered.. I uh.." Krillian racked his brain for anything, ANYTHING to get him out of eating the "Roshi Special" again. "Uh.. Oh yeah, I have to return the videtape I rented out! Yeah that's it!" He nervously laughed. Roshi gave him a suspicious look from behind his dark sunglasses.
"Well..ok Krillian. But you'll missing another great "Roshi Special"." Roshi warned, as he turned around, fixing breakfast. Krillian felt himself turn blue in the face, and gulped heavily. He was definitely outta there, mister!
"Uh, sorry Master, I just can't. Don't want any late fees, you know.." With that Krillian ran out the door, and took off into the sky, in search of a decent breakfast, but then he stopped and looked at his attire,(blue PJ's with little brown teddy bears on them! Kute! ^^;;) and went down again, changed into his 'normal clothes' at the speed of light, grabbed his wallet, THEN flew off for some good cookin'.
Master Roshi yelled after him, "Krillian, you forgot your video tape! Krillian! Krill-.... Ah well.. He'll remember it when he gets to the video store.." Muten Roshi shrugged and went inside to cook his own personal "Roshi Special".
(AN:*sweatdrop* and there you have it ladies and gentlemen, a look into the weirded out lives of Muten Roshi and Krillian during the Three years..^_^)
----
I don't know how long I stood there, but by the time I came to it, scarface and Briefs-san along with that blond (and annoying) mate of his were gone. I growled to myself. How dare that Onna make a complete fool of me?!..
Ok, so maybe she didn't really make a fool of me, but she openly mocked me! Has she no respect?..
Of course not. If she did, then she wouldn't be the Onna. ~_~ And I'd probably not like her.
WHAT? Am I still hungry or was that just a random thought with no meaning whatsoever that I happened to thought for no reason?.. yeah a random thought with no real reason.
Oh, I'll make that wench pay. I'll just give her a lesson, Saiyajin no Ouji style. *grins menacingly*.. I went outside and flew up to the Onna's balcony.
--Beginning of Citrus---(WARNING: THOSE WHO OPPOSE CITRUSES SHOULD LEAVE NOW OR SKIM THROUGH IT!!.. Thank you..)
Her balcony doors were open and those annoying, frilly curtains were blowing, slightly silhouting her figure, but I knew the Onna was there. Her ki was low, no doubt to exhaustation, but it's still there. I crouch low, skillfully hiding. Heh, she'd never notice me. I peeked through the curtains, and felt my eyes bulge (as well as other parts of my body..) and jaw drop.
The Onna just took off her robe (see-through robe by the way), revealing her milky-white shoulders that I didn't notice before. I blinked. Am I going nuts here or what? It's not as if I've never seen a near-nude woman before. So why is she affecting me in such a way? *shakes head* Must...get..revenge..
Now the Onna took out an oversized t-shirt with the CC logo on it and wears blue shorts. Yes, time to carry out my plan.
"Onna.." I chuckle. She jumps three feet into the air, and turns around obviously startled. I held in my breath. Her hair swished around her as she turned around, eyes blazing with fear then metamorphose into anger (which made her eyes darken and blaze with that spirit I love), cheeks tinted red to show how mad she was (though I really didn't care). Her oversized t-shirt hung off one shoulder, allowing me to see her milky white collerbone. She was the single most beauitul thing I have ever had the grace to see. I felt something harden below me and thought humorously, 'Down boy..'
"Vegeta? What the hell are you doing here?" She screeches. The spell the minx wove over me with her tantalizing body was broken immediately when her voice met my ears. I cringed.
"Don't screech at this ungodly hour, Onna. It makes even Kami beg for mercy." I smirk at her outraged experience. Yet this is turning me on. What?!
"Kami, Vegeta you are a real butt-hole sometimes." The Onna quietly whispered as she got closer, only two feet away from me. My smirk grows devious.
"That's a new nickname for me. Aww, Onna, didn't know you cared.." I sneered. The Onna sputters angrily then takes her finger and pokes me in the chest. I looked down at her than her finger, and roll my eyes. Does she really think she can intimidate me?
"Listen here, buddy. I don't know why you want an arguement out of me- maybe it's a sick pleasure that only you could want, or maybe you strive for negative attention. I. Don't. Care." She pokes me harder, though it's more like feather to me. I arch an eyebrow and still looked down at her finger.
"I only slept for only two hours, the sun's going to come up in an hour, I am dead tired, and do not need an imature little," She put an emphasis on 'little' and I growl a tiny bit, "monkey prince on my back begging for a fight. Good night, dear Prince." The blue-haired vixen turns away and I grab her hand and make her face me. She seems surprised, and I ignore it and put the finger she used to point at me near my lips and I kiss it gently. She blinks, obviously shocked, and I refuse to back out of the plan. I must get back at her. She made a fool of my ego too much. This time she pays and pays well.
"Wha? Veg-" She stops as I start kissing every sqaure inch of her soft hand. Hmm.. I rubbed the calloused tips of her other hand thoughtfully with my gloved hand. My tail swished behind me, showing my anger and excitement of the situation. The Onna tries to escape my grasp, and almost evades me, but my tail comes up and coils around her waist, making escaping impossible.
"Princes don't beg, Onna." I said quietly, as I bring her to me. She whimpers and her moonlight-kissed skin turns a bit pink with her heat. I sniff around and smirk wider. We are only inches apart, and she has already responded to my advances.
"I-I...Vegeta.." Onna stutters and looks around for an escape. I chuckle darkly. No such luck there. I lean down, abandoning her hand, but still caressed the other, and started kissing her revealed skin. The Onna gasps, and I lightly lick her skin through my lips. My advanced earing picked up shallow breathing, and already I know my plan is going to work.
I use my other unused hand to balance against her lower back, stroking it slightly. Her hand that I gave affectionate attention to earlier grasped my shoulder tightly, her head leaning against my chest. I noticed my breath getting harder also.
I moved up, kissing my way to her earlobe. Her breathing gets more laboured and she plasters herself to me, slightly moaning. My hand moves down from it's stance at the lower back and kneads her nether cheeks. The other hand brings hers to my neck and let it go, as she encircles my neck with both of her hands, combing it through my hair. I purr, then stifle it downwards. I don't want to show her I'm enjoying this. Revenge. I remind myself.
"Mmm... Vegeta..." She moans into my ear. Those words sound so sweet to me when she uses it like that. My other hand comes to massage her right breast, my tail moving down from her waist to her thigh. My lips move from the earlobe to the jaw, cherishing the soft and sweet skin there. I move up to her lips and capture the perfectly shaped mouth with my own. She moans once more, and I caress the Onna's lips with my tongue, asking for entrance, She happily obligies, which I find not surprising. Afterall, I am the lovemonkey. The Onna stradles my waist with her legs, and I use both of my hands to hold unto her bottom, yet never breaking the kiss.
I go into the Onna's room and lay her down on the bed, breaking the kiss. She pants for breath, as I do, looking at me. I saw a swirl of emotions dance in her eyes. Anger, passion, lust, confusion. I smirk, and lean in, and she leans in also.
--End Citrus--
--
*Yawns* Kora, what time is it? I look around the girl's room and to my utter surprise I see my son and the girl there! *dances around* YES! If he is going to do what I think he's going to do, then the hell with Plan B!
I smirk and press my face against the glass. That's it Vegeta.. Kiss her.. kiss her.. What? Why aren't you kissing her?? AH! I think he noticed me! *runs from glass*
-----
I blink as Vegeta stops. What? Why the hell is he stopping?? Vegeta looks around my room suspiciously before turning to me.
"Who else is here?" He huskily asks.
"No one!" I am eager for him to finish the job- wait a damn minute! I can't sucuumb to this. I won't let Jaeb get to me. Must resist. Resist Vegeta's Godlike body which is hard and warm and- AH! Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking.
"Really?" He answers back as he leans in, his eyes glittering. I gulp and numbly nod. What's wrong with me? Why am I so timid? I then start growling and glaring at him. He smirks but pulls away and walks out the balcony entrance. After he leaves, I finally let go of the breath I was holding. I clutch my clothes, even though I am not cold. Quite the contrary, I feel quite hot. Then I let out a loud growl.
How dare that ape-faced, sorry excuse of a Saiyajin do this to me? How could I let him do this to me? I don't want his hands wandering all over me, or those lips capturing mine, or that hard, muscular body against my own, or- AH!
I am attracted to him!! NOO! I run out the door and to the bathroom. Cold shower, cold, shower, cold shower, I repeat the mantra in my mind.
----
Piccolo was armed with a spatula, but it was like a toothpick in comparison to Chichi's overly large frying pan. Goku and Gohan watched helplessly as the two were engaged in a "sword fight", barbarcue/stove utensil against hardcore black pewter cooking everyday thing..yeah...>_
"Piccolo, you shall never win! Give up while you can!" Chichi cried out as she slowly circled around the couch. Piccolo did the same, always in front of Chichi, and always moving. He kept his eyes on her, weilding the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (TM), which he nicknamed his weapon himself, by the way.
"Never!" He yelled back, growling as he did. Gohan fell anime style at the entire stupidity of the situation. He was getting ready for training, as he always did for the past five months, when all of a sudden he heard a crash from downstairs. Running down at a faster speed than his father's, he was down there in time to see Piccolo running around frantically around the couch, ranting on "rabbit eared demons" and "black suits coming, nod your head!" Chichi also came down, ready to hit anyone and everyone who decided to disturb them at this time of night, er morning. ^_^;;
-Flashback-
"No! Not the rabbit-eared Demon!!! NOO!! Not the dream! AH! Black suits coming, nod ya head!! HELP ME!!" Piccolo ran around the couch in circles, flailing his arms wildly. Chichi, Goku, and Gohan stared, until Chichi popped into action and jumped in front of the Namek's path.
"Hold it right there you-" She began but was interrupted by a shriek from Piccolo.
"AH! You were sent by the rabbit-eared demon weren't you?! To capture and sedate me, and make me listen to that awful song again right? Well guess what Agent of the Dark and Evil One?! The black suits ain't comin' this time, man!" Piccolo flew into the kitchen and came out with a spatula. Gohan and Goku were clueless as to why Piccolo was acting this way, and who this "Dark and Evil One" was.
"What the? Hey that's my spatula!" Chichi growled. Gohan and Goku were still bewildered by what was happening.
"No, Agent of the Dark and Evil One. It is MY Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom, doom, doom, doom." Piccolo made each doom after another softer, as if a real echo. O.o;; Gohan sweatdropped. Whatever happened to the Piccolo he knew? And who is this imposter?
"What?! Listen here you overgrown bug, I'll make you hurt in places a Namek shouldn't hurt! Not even a senzu bean won't heal you after I'm done!" Chichi menacingly took a step towards him, holding both hands on her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm).
"Bring it on, Agent Of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo used two of his fingers as a come-on-show-me-what-you-got motion. Chichi nodded and swung her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and Piccolo met it with his Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) with an equal force, and there they were blocking and dodging hits with kitchen/household products.
-End Flashback-
Goku watched them duke it out, wondering who he should root for. His wife? Or his partner, Piccolo? ... It was confusing since Chichi would hit him with her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) if he didn't root for her; but what about Pickle-boy? It would be kind of hard to find a sidekick as strong as Piccolo. And he had a theme-song and everything too, so to throw that all away and find another side-kick, think of a cool name to call him, also make a new theme song, plus rethink all their 'possible' comic adventures.. well it was just alot of work. Goku sighed, feeling weak as his brain hurt him more and more as he thought and thought on who to cheer for.
Gohan watched wearily as both Piccolo and his mother panted for breath, obviously tired out but both refusing to give up. He too was conflicted on who to cheer for. His mother or his mentor? O.O His mother probably won't let him train if he rooted for Piccolo, but Piccolo might not train him if he rooted for his mother, so either way he lost. -_-;; Just great.
"You are a worthy opponent, Agent of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo said quietly, not moving from his previous position.
"As you are.." Chichi said right back, her tone spiteful.
Piccolo narrowed his eyes, and smirked, "But not good enough!" With that he lunged at Chichi, effectly whapping her in the head with the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) but was in turn hit, very hardly in fact, with Chichi's Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and knocked him out cold. Gohan rushed to his mentor who had swirlies in his eyes.
"Please Mr. Monkey, can I have a bananna with that glass of water?" Piccolo sang softly as he left the world of the concious. Gohan looked horrified and held his poor Namek friend, who no doubt had become delusional.
"Aww..Chi, why'd you do that? He was my side-kick!" Goku whined, and in turn got hit in the head by Chichi.
"I'll go fix breakfast.." She cheerfully yelled, walking into the kitchen, making Goku and Gohan wonder just how crazy and temperamental were females?
(AN: HEY! I'M A FEMALE!!
Gohan and Goku: Uh....*both run away*
Bunni:*evil grin and runs after them waving her bonking stick* la, la, la, going to kill you!
Gohan: AAAAAAH!!! MOMMY!!
Goku: MOMMMYYY!!! Wait a minute.. I don't have a mommy..*silent while running*. GRANDPA!! *resumes yelling*)
----
I don't get it. I was so sure I felt a ki there. But-but it disappeared before I could be really sure. I am almost glad for that disturbance. Why- if it weren't for that distraction I would have mated with the Onna! -_- And I don't want anything like that. I pace in my room. I faintly hear the Onna running in the hall and then the sounds of a shower. I smirk. Cold no doubt. Her shriek is all the confirmation I need.
I shake my head, and look down. I have a BIG problem, if you know what I mean. I can't believe the Onna actually got to me! I am so embarassed.
I can't feel for the Onna. I can't have sex with her. I don't have feelings for her. Yes, this is just temperary lust. Nothing deep involved. I DO NOT FEEL FOR HER!!
Liar... A feminine voice whispered in my mind.
What? Who are you and why are you in my mind?
Let me see, could it be because you lied, my huriia?
Huriia? I almost gasped out. My..my mother used to call me that! Who are you?! I demanded mentally.
Hush, my huriia, onuque, yes it is me. Your mother.
Mother?! I felt my eyes widen, and my mind slowly go into shock.
Yes, your mother. Now what's this about that female?
Uhh....nothing..
You are an awful liar huriia.
D'oh! *imitates Homer Simpson* Damn, I was so sure I had you decieved..
Quit trying to dodge the question. Now come on.. tell me why you didn't finish what you started back there with that girl?
I-I felt another ki present in her room. It was strange. It was like it was there but it wasn't. And the Onna is a non-Saiyajin!
You should have ignored me- I mean that other ki! and What does it matter in blood? Non-Saiyajin or Saiyajin, she's perfect for your mate.
..Mother I sense you are hiding something.
Um.. would you look at the time? Huriia I must leave, but you WILL finish with that girl!
Ack! I mean, of course mother.
Good. Bye hurria.
..Mother?....mother?...mommy? *silence* ... *sniffles mentally* and I didn't get to tell her how much I missed her! ..wait a minute. I have to get with the Onna now! D'oh! Why does mommy do this to me? XD It's bad enough that I think that I have feelings for her, but now even my mother wants me to mate her! -_-;; What to do in a weird situation like this? @_@.. If only father were here.
Boy!
AH! Father! Wait a minute.. how are you and mother in my head all of a sudden?
Don't ask questions, boy! *growls* Now what's this I hear about a possible mate?
Mate? Who said mate *mentally laughs* I didn't say mate!
DO NOT LIE TO ME, BOY!!
Ack! Sorry Father..*bows head mentally* It's this Onna I know. She's-well.. she's beautiful but she talks back, but she's smart.. and acts so much like a Saiyajin. And-and..
You mean she isn't a Saiyajin?
Well all of the female Saiyajinns did die out, Father.
Damn. Well go with this non-Saiyajin female. She sounds alot like your mother. *nudges Vegeta mentally*
Eewww... the Onna like my mother? No way!
Boy, I will have you know your mother is, or was, the most perfect female in the Universe. Strong, beautiful, smart- your mother had it all. Not to mention how she was great in bed..
AAAH! La, la, la, la, la.. not listening *hums mentally* I do not hear you old man!
*growls again* Stupid boy! I'm just telling you how your mom was great in the sack.
Again not listening.. la, la, la.. so Father *stops humming* what do you think I should do?
Easy. Demand that you want the girl in your bed now, no questions asked. That is my advice to you.
O.O Uh, Father, they do things differently on Earth if I recall correctly.
Damn!..then you'll have to seduce her.
hmm..*takes chin in hands* Not a bad idea... not a bad idea at all. Anything else?
Yes, follow the Saiyajin courtship rules.
Aww.. do I have to?
Yes.
*groans* But-but they're ridiculous!
Grr... Don't argue with me, boy!
...*silent for a while* Fine..*dejected tone* thank you Father.
You're welcome, son. Now I have to return HFIL. Jukon.
Jukon, Father. *silence is heard*..finally I am alone. Now to get to plans to seducing the Onna..*malicious evil laughter is heard* Wait a minute.. I still have to do the Saiyajin courtship rules! -_-;; Just great..*groans again* I look down again and slap my head. I now have two problems. Getting with the Onna and well... you know..
(AN:*blushes*..ugh..*rolls eyes*)
TBC..
Huriia means "little warrior"
Jukon means "Good bye", "farewell", or "later"
Onuque means "yes"
I am sorry to those who wanted a lemon, but I just couldn't. ^^;; It's much too soon for the lemon, so I put a citrus instead... that and I have total and utter inexperience with citruses and lemons in general. -_-;; So if either citrus or lemon suck, blame inexperience. *points to inexperience who glares and rolls up sleeve and starts advancing towards her* AH! *runs away* Inexperience is after me!
Review please!! ^_^
Author: Bunni
Disclaimer:*Chibi-Bra holds up sign that says, "Don't Own DBZ So don't bug me!" and growls menacingly at everyone*
Bunni:*backs away*..eep..
Shout out to:
Sue: *big grin* Oh they're up to something... you don't worry what.. well actually their plans take flight in the next chapter ^^;; but this one is hilarious with Piccolo (ya gotta love him!)
SapphireAngelOfNight: LOL! Your review got ME realing with laughter! *wipes tear from eye* Piccolo sure comes in handy in insanely funny scenes.
Piccolo:*unamused face* You made a total fool of me! *growls*
Bunni: ^_^;; Eh... you see I did that because- um... bye! *gets on scooter and flies away into a portal*
Piccolo:O.o;; Damn it! *flies after her*
dragon's moon: Yup!
TigerQueen: LOL, yes poor Piccolo!*insane laughter* It's gets much much funnier. The poor Namek's sanity is balancing on a thin thread here, and it's about to snap! ^^
Squirrel: LOL, Piccolo is sure to be safe in your hands. -_-;; He just seems to suffer at mine...
Shadowmusic: There ya go! More like you asked.
The Dark Shadow Mystress: AH! Sorry ^^;; I'll just put a citrus then, or you could skip it. ^^;; Yeah you'd better skip the middle part then.
Mother Knows Best
Chapter Five
Early Morning Of Passions..not..
Goku yawned as he and Piccolo set down on the ground.(AN: Hey I'm a poet and don't know it ... wait a minute.. O.o yes I do! Highly confusing.. O-O;;) Piccolo had acted strangely happy throughout the whole flight, whether that be that he finally got Goku to shut up, or the fact that he COULD make the Saiyajin shut up.
"So Piccolo.." Goku started, stopping hesitantly as he looked at the green alien. Piccolo shrugged, happy to at least had a moment's (more like an hour) of peace if none.
They were in front of Goku's house, the only ones awake at the hour.
"I was wondering.. could we have a team?"
"What do you mean by 'team', Goku?" Piccolo asked, slightly scared of the answer.
"You know, have everyone joined in on it. Gohan, Krillian, Tien, Launch, and I just met this girl named Bunni, the other day, who-"
"AAAAAAAHH!! NO!!!" Piccolo screamed as he ran inside the Son household. Goku was left clueless outside.
"Wonder what got into him..?" Goku said outloud to himself as he followed the Namek inside, before Chichi would bang him with her frying pan.
-----
"WAKE UP!!!" Master Roshi yelled as the bald-headed man with six dots on his head sprang up from the bed, and immediately had a look of panic. Were the androids there already???
The answer was no.
Krillian groaned as he looked up from the floor to the grinning old hentai of a man. This had been a regular in the past five months: Krillian would go to sleep, be waken up at 4:01 A.M. exactly each morning (which he still wasn't used to), forced to eat burnt toast (if you could call it that) and eggs (which crawled off his plate the other day when he wasn't looking, O.O), with what he could assume to be: broiled shellfish with black rice. Let it be known that whatever Master Roshi cooks is bound to be one of three things:
1.) radioactive and/or hazard to one's health
2.) was once living in the sea
3.) can walk on its' own free will even after it's cooked [also has either eyes, a mouth, or a nose in odd places, such as his eggs, which he kind of felt weird and queasy after eating.]
"Time for the Roshi special!" Muten Roshi cheerfully said, as he got out a frying pan and pot. Krillian looked down at his poor tummy. Could he really take another one of the "Roshi Special"s?
Heck no!
"Uh, hey Master Roshi, I just remembered.. I uh.." Krillian racked his brain for anything, ANYTHING to get him out of eating the "Roshi Special" again. "Uh.. Oh yeah, I have to return the videtape I rented out! Yeah that's it!" He nervously laughed. Roshi gave him a suspicious look from behind his dark sunglasses.
"Well..ok Krillian. But you'll missing another great "Roshi Special"." Roshi warned, as he turned around, fixing breakfast. Krillian felt himself turn blue in the face, and gulped heavily. He was definitely outta there, mister!
"Uh, sorry Master, I just can't. Don't want any late fees, you know.." With that Krillian ran out the door, and took off into the sky, in search of a decent breakfast, but then he stopped and looked at his attire,(blue PJ's with little brown teddy bears on them! Kute! ^^;;) and went down again, changed into his 'normal clothes' at the speed of light, grabbed his wallet, THEN flew off for some good cookin'.
Master Roshi yelled after him, "Krillian, you forgot your video tape! Krillian! Krill-.... Ah well.. He'll remember it when he gets to the video store.." Muten Roshi shrugged and went inside to cook his own personal "Roshi Special".
(AN:*sweatdrop* and there you have it ladies and gentlemen, a look into the weirded out lives of Muten Roshi and Krillian during the Three years..^_^)
----
I don't know how long I stood there, but by the time I came to it, scarface and Briefs-san along with that blond (and annoying) mate of his were gone. I growled to myself. How dare that Onna make a complete fool of me?!..
Ok, so maybe she didn't really make a fool of me, but she openly mocked me! Has she no respect?..
Of course not. If she did, then she wouldn't be the Onna. ~_~ And I'd probably not like her.
WHAT? Am I still hungry or was that just a random thought with no meaning whatsoever that I happened to thought for no reason?.. yeah a random thought with no real reason.
Oh, I'll make that wench pay. I'll just give her a lesson, Saiyajin no Ouji style. *grins menacingly*.. I went outside and flew up to the Onna's balcony.
--Beginning of Citrus---(WARNING: THOSE WHO OPPOSE CITRUSES SHOULD LEAVE NOW OR SKIM THROUGH IT!!.. Thank you..)
Her balcony doors were open and those annoying, frilly curtains were blowing, slightly silhouting her figure, but I knew the Onna was there. Her ki was low, no doubt to exhaustation, but it's still there. I crouch low, skillfully hiding. Heh, she'd never notice me. I peeked through the curtains, and felt my eyes bulge (as well as other parts of my body..) and jaw drop.
The Onna just took off her robe (see-through robe by the way), revealing her milky-white shoulders that I didn't notice before. I blinked. Am I going nuts here or what? It's not as if I've never seen a near-nude woman before. So why is she affecting me in such a way? *shakes head* Must...get..revenge..
Now the Onna took out an oversized t-shirt with the CC logo on it and wears blue shorts. Yes, time to carry out my plan.
"Onna.." I chuckle. She jumps three feet into the air, and turns around obviously startled. I held in my breath. Her hair swished around her as she turned around, eyes blazing with fear then metamorphose into anger (which made her eyes darken and blaze with that spirit I love), cheeks tinted red to show how mad she was (though I really didn't care). Her oversized t-shirt hung off one shoulder, allowing me to see her milky white collerbone. She was the single most beauitul thing I have ever had the grace to see. I felt something harden below me and thought humorously, 'Down boy..'
"Vegeta? What the hell are you doing here?" She screeches. The spell the minx wove over me with her tantalizing body was broken immediately when her voice met my ears. I cringed.
"Don't screech at this ungodly hour, Onna. It makes even Kami beg for mercy." I smirk at her outraged experience. Yet this is turning me on. What?!
"Kami, Vegeta you are a real butt-hole sometimes." The Onna quietly whispered as she got closer, only two feet away from me. My smirk grows devious.
"That's a new nickname for me. Aww, Onna, didn't know you cared.." I sneered. The Onna sputters angrily then takes her finger and pokes me in the chest. I looked down at her than her finger, and roll my eyes. Does she really think she can intimidate me?
"Listen here, buddy. I don't know why you want an arguement out of me- maybe it's a sick pleasure that only you could want, or maybe you strive for negative attention. I. Don't. Care." She pokes me harder, though it's more like feather to me. I arch an eyebrow and still looked down at her finger.
"I only slept for only two hours, the sun's going to come up in an hour, I am dead tired, and do not need an imature little," She put an emphasis on 'little' and I growl a tiny bit, "monkey prince on my back begging for a fight. Good night, dear Prince." The blue-haired vixen turns away and I grab her hand and make her face me. She seems surprised, and I ignore it and put the finger she used to point at me near my lips and I kiss it gently. She blinks, obviously shocked, and I refuse to back out of the plan. I must get back at her. She made a fool of my ego too much. This time she pays and pays well.
"Wha? Veg-" She stops as I start kissing every sqaure inch of her soft hand. Hmm.. I rubbed the calloused tips of her other hand thoughtfully with my gloved hand. My tail swished behind me, showing my anger and excitement of the situation. The Onna tries to escape my grasp, and almost evades me, but my tail comes up and coils around her waist, making escaping impossible.
"Princes don't beg, Onna." I said quietly, as I bring her to me. She whimpers and her moonlight-kissed skin turns a bit pink with her heat. I sniff around and smirk wider. We are only inches apart, and she has already responded to my advances.
"I-I...Vegeta.." Onna stutters and looks around for an escape. I chuckle darkly. No such luck there. I lean down, abandoning her hand, but still caressed the other, and started kissing her revealed skin. The Onna gasps, and I lightly lick her skin through my lips. My advanced earing picked up shallow breathing, and already I know my plan is going to work.
I use my other unused hand to balance against her lower back, stroking it slightly. Her hand that I gave affectionate attention to earlier grasped my shoulder tightly, her head leaning against my chest. I noticed my breath getting harder also.
I moved up, kissing my way to her earlobe. Her breathing gets more laboured and she plasters herself to me, slightly moaning. My hand moves down from it's stance at the lower back and kneads her nether cheeks. The other hand brings hers to my neck and let it go, as she encircles my neck with both of her hands, combing it through my hair. I purr, then stifle it downwards. I don't want to show her I'm enjoying this. Revenge. I remind myself.
"Mmm... Vegeta..." She moans into my ear. Those words sound so sweet to me when she uses it like that. My other hand comes to massage her right breast, my tail moving down from her waist to her thigh. My lips move from the earlobe to the jaw, cherishing the soft and sweet skin there. I move up to her lips and capture the perfectly shaped mouth with my own. She moans once more, and I caress the Onna's lips with my tongue, asking for entrance, She happily obligies, which I find not surprising. Afterall, I am the lovemonkey. The Onna stradles my waist with her legs, and I use both of my hands to hold unto her bottom, yet never breaking the kiss.
I go into the Onna's room and lay her down on the bed, breaking the kiss. She pants for breath, as I do, looking at me. I saw a swirl of emotions dance in her eyes. Anger, passion, lust, confusion. I smirk, and lean in, and she leans in also.
--End Citrus--
--
*Yawns* Kora, what time is it? I look around the girl's room and to my utter surprise I see my son and the girl there! *dances around* YES! If he is going to do what I think he's going to do, then the hell with Plan B!
I smirk and press my face against the glass. That's it Vegeta.. Kiss her.. kiss her.. What? Why aren't you kissing her?? AH! I think he noticed me! *runs from glass*
-----
I blink as Vegeta stops. What? Why the hell is he stopping?? Vegeta looks around my room suspiciously before turning to me.
"Who else is here?" He huskily asks.
"No one!" I am eager for him to finish the job- wait a damn minute! I can't sucuumb to this. I won't let Jaeb get to me. Must resist. Resist Vegeta's Godlike body which is hard and warm and- AH! Stop thinking, stop thinking, stop thinking.
"Really?" He answers back as he leans in, his eyes glittering. I gulp and numbly nod. What's wrong with me? Why am I so timid? I then start growling and glaring at him. He smirks but pulls away and walks out the balcony entrance. After he leaves, I finally let go of the breath I was holding. I clutch my clothes, even though I am not cold. Quite the contrary, I feel quite hot. Then I let out a loud growl.
How dare that ape-faced, sorry excuse of a Saiyajin do this to me? How could I let him do this to me? I don't want his hands wandering all over me, or those lips capturing mine, or that hard, muscular body against my own, or- AH!
I am attracted to him!! NOO! I run out the door and to the bathroom. Cold shower, cold, shower, cold shower, I repeat the mantra in my mind.
----
Piccolo was armed with a spatula, but it was like a toothpick in comparison to Chichi's overly large frying pan. Goku and Gohan watched helplessly as the two were engaged in a "sword fight", barbarcue/stove utensil against hardcore black pewter cooking everyday thing..yeah...>_
"Piccolo, you shall never win! Give up while you can!" Chichi cried out as she slowly circled around the couch. Piccolo did the same, always in front of Chichi, and always moving. He kept his eyes on her, weilding the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (TM), which he nicknamed his weapon himself, by the way.
"Never!" He yelled back, growling as he did. Gohan fell anime style at the entire stupidity of the situation. He was getting ready for training, as he always did for the past five months, when all of a sudden he heard a crash from downstairs. Running down at a faster speed than his father's, he was down there in time to see Piccolo running around frantically around the couch, ranting on "rabbit eared demons" and "black suits coming, nod your head!" Chichi also came down, ready to hit anyone and everyone who decided to disturb them at this time of night, er morning. ^_^;;
-Flashback-
"No! Not the rabbit-eared Demon!!! NOO!! Not the dream! AH! Black suits coming, nod ya head!! HELP ME!!" Piccolo ran around the couch in circles, flailing his arms wildly. Chichi, Goku, and Gohan stared, until Chichi popped into action and jumped in front of the Namek's path.
"Hold it right there you-" She began but was interrupted by a shriek from Piccolo.
"AH! You were sent by the rabbit-eared demon weren't you?! To capture and sedate me, and make me listen to that awful song again right? Well guess what Agent of the Dark and Evil One?! The black suits ain't comin' this time, man!" Piccolo flew into the kitchen and came out with a spatula. Gohan and Goku were clueless as to why Piccolo was acting this way, and who this "Dark and Evil One" was.
"What the? Hey that's my spatula!" Chichi growled. Gohan and Goku were still bewildered by what was happening.
"No, Agent of the Dark and Evil One. It is MY Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom, doom, doom, doom." Piccolo made each doom after another softer, as if a real echo. O.o;; Gohan sweatdropped. Whatever happened to the Piccolo he knew? And who is this imposter?
"What?! Listen here you overgrown bug, I'll make you hurt in places a Namek shouldn't hurt! Not even a senzu bean won't heal you after I'm done!" Chichi menacingly took a step towards him, holding both hands on her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm).
"Bring it on, Agent Of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo used two of his fingers as a come-on-show-me-what-you-got motion. Chichi nodded and swung her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and Piccolo met it with his Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) with an equal force, and there they were blocking and dodging hits with kitchen/household products.
-End Flashback-
Goku watched them duke it out, wondering who he should root for. His wife? Or his partner, Piccolo? ... It was confusing since Chichi would hit him with her Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) if he didn't root for her; but what about Pickle-boy? It would be kind of hard to find a sidekick as strong as Piccolo. And he had a theme-song and everything too, so to throw that all away and find another side-kick, think of a cool name to call him, also make a new theme song, plus rethink all their 'possible' comic adventures.. well it was just alot of work. Goku sighed, feeling weak as his brain hurt him more and more as he thought and thought on who to cheer for.
Gohan watched wearily as both Piccolo and his mother panted for breath, obviously tired out but both refusing to give up. He too was conflicted on who to cheer for. His mother or his mentor? O.O His mother probably won't let him train if he rooted for Piccolo, but Piccolo might not train him if he rooted for his mother, so either way he lost. -_-;; Just great.
"You are a worthy opponent, Agent of the Dark and Evil One." Piccolo said quietly, not moving from his previous position.
"As you are.." Chichi said right back, her tone spiteful.
Piccolo narrowed his eyes, and smirked, "But not good enough!" With that he lunged at Chichi, effectly whapping her in the head with the Spatula of Silvery Impending Doom *echo, echo, echo* (tm) but was in turn hit, very hardly in fact, with Chichi's Frying Pan of Complete and Utter DOOM (tm) and knocked him out cold. Gohan rushed to his mentor who had swirlies in his eyes.
"Please Mr. Monkey, can I have a bananna with that glass of water?" Piccolo sang softly as he left the world of the concious. Gohan looked horrified and held his poor Namek friend, who no doubt had become delusional.
"Aww..Chi, why'd you do that? He was my side-kick!" Goku whined, and in turn got hit in the head by Chichi.
"I'll go fix breakfast.." She cheerfully yelled, walking into the kitchen, making Goku and Gohan wonder just how crazy and temperamental were females?
(AN: HEY! I'M A FEMALE!!
Gohan and Goku: Uh....*both run away*
Bunni:*evil grin and runs after them waving her bonking stick* la, la, la, going to kill you!
Gohan: AAAAAAH!!! MOMMY!!
Goku: MOMMMYYY!!! Wait a minute.. I don't have a mommy..*silent while running*. GRANDPA!! *resumes yelling*)
----
I don't get it. I was so sure I felt a ki there. But-but it disappeared before I could be really sure. I am almost glad for that disturbance. Why- if it weren't for that distraction I would have mated with the Onna! -_- And I don't want anything like that. I pace in my room. I faintly hear the Onna running in the hall and then the sounds of a shower. I smirk. Cold no doubt. Her shriek is all the confirmation I need.
I shake my head, and look down. I have a BIG problem, if you know what I mean. I can't believe the Onna actually got to me! I am so embarassed.
I can't feel for the Onna. I can't have sex with her. I don't have feelings for her. Yes, this is just temperary lust. Nothing deep involved. I DO NOT FEEL FOR HER!!
Liar... A feminine voice whispered in my mind.
What? Who are you and why are you in my mind?
Let me see, could it be because you lied, my huriia?
Huriia? I almost gasped out. My..my mother used to call me that! Who are you?! I demanded mentally.
Hush, my huriia, onuque, yes it is me. Your mother.
Mother?! I felt my eyes widen, and my mind slowly go into shock.
Yes, your mother. Now what's this about that female?
Uhh....nothing..
You are an awful liar huriia.
D'oh! *imitates Homer Simpson* Damn, I was so sure I had you decieved..
Quit trying to dodge the question. Now come on.. tell me why you didn't finish what you started back there with that girl?
I-I felt another ki present in her room. It was strange. It was like it was there but it wasn't. And the Onna is a non-Saiyajin!
You should have ignored me- I mean that other ki! and What does it matter in blood? Non-Saiyajin or Saiyajin, she's perfect for your mate.
..Mother I sense you are hiding something.
Um.. would you look at the time? Huriia I must leave, but you WILL finish with that girl!
Ack! I mean, of course mother.
Good. Bye hurria.
..Mother?....mother?...mommy? *silence* ... *sniffles mentally* and I didn't get to tell her how much I missed her! ..wait a minute. I have to get with the Onna now! D'oh! Why does mommy do this to me? XD It's bad enough that I think that I have feelings for her, but now even my mother wants me to mate her! -_-;; What to do in a weird situation like this? @_@.. If only father were here.
Boy!
AH! Father! Wait a minute.. how are you and mother in my head all of a sudden?
Don't ask questions, boy! *growls* Now what's this I hear about a possible mate?
Mate? Who said mate *mentally laughs* I didn't say mate!
DO NOT LIE TO ME, BOY!!
Ack! Sorry Father..*bows head mentally* It's this Onna I know. She's-well.. she's beautiful but she talks back, but she's smart.. and acts so much like a Saiyajin. And-and..
You mean she isn't a Saiyajin?
Well all of the female Saiyajinns did die out, Father.
Damn. Well go with this non-Saiyajin female. She sounds alot like your mother. *nudges Vegeta mentally*
Eewww... the Onna like my mother? No way!
Boy, I will have you know your mother is, or was, the most perfect female in the Universe. Strong, beautiful, smart- your mother had it all. Not to mention how she was great in bed..
AAAH! La, la, la, la, la.. not listening *hums mentally* I do not hear you old man!
*growls again* Stupid boy! I'm just telling you how your mom was great in the sack.
Again not listening.. la, la, la.. so Father *stops humming* what do you think I should do?
Easy. Demand that you want the girl in your bed now, no questions asked. That is my advice to you.
O.O Uh, Father, they do things differently on Earth if I recall correctly.
Damn!..then you'll have to seduce her.
hmm..*takes chin in hands* Not a bad idea... not a bad idea at all. Anything else?
Yes, follow the Saiyajin courtship rules.
Aww.. do I have to?
Yes.
*groans* But-but they're ridiculous!
Grr... Don't argue with me, boy!
...*silent for a while* Fine..*dejected tone* thank you Father.
You're welcome, son. Now I have to return HFIL. Jukon.
Jukon, Father. *silence is heard*..finally I am alone. Now to get to plans to seducing the Onna..*malicious evil laughter is heard* Wait a minute.. I still have to do the Saiyajin courtship rules! -_-;; Just great..*groans again* I look down again and slap my head. I now have two problems. Getting with the Onna and well... you know..
(AN:*blushes*..ugh..*rolls eyes*)
TBC..
Huriia means "little warrior"
Jukon means "Good bye", "farewell", or "later"
Onuque means "yes"
I am sorry to those who wanted a lemon, but I just couldn't. ^^;; It's much too soon for the lemon, so I put a citrus instead... that and I have total and utter inexperience with citruses and lemons in general. -_-;; So if either citrus or lemon suck, blame inexperience. *points to inexperience who glares and rolls up sleeve and starts advancing towards her* AH! *runs away* Inexperience is after me!
Review please!! ^_^