Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun or Mr. Buttsavage from the show 'Doug'.
A/N: This is a long chapter lol, I should've made it into two parts but oh well. Enjoy.
Hunting For The Elusive Mayfly Known As Love…Not
Chapter Eight
Holiday Bash
Three months had passed since Nick's departure, although time hadn't seemed to console Meryl well enough to forget it. It was the last day of school before Christmas Break, and the school had decided upon a dance and a play.
Over the past three months, Carl and Demonte had been observing houses to buy, but they either lacked 'prettiness' or space. So they had remained at Meryl's house since then. For some odd reason (one that Meryl couldn't figure) she had often seen a familiar blue Sudan outside of her house and…were those two evil eyes staring back at her? Surely…that wasn't the Saverem's car was it? Since Meryl didn't know, she did the next best thing.
She closed the curtains.
So on Friday, Meryl's father drove her and Demonte to school. She preoccupied her time with what was going on outside the car window. It had begun to snow and the flakes were sticking to the ground, as well as the car windows.
"Isn't it great, Honey?" Meryl's father marveled at the snow as he adjusted the Santa hat on his head. Of course HE'D be into the Christmas Spirit. "Only a few more hours and you'll have two weeks all to yourself."
"You should try to cheer up more, Meryl," Demonte told her. "It's not wise to stress yourself so much. Especially at Christmas."
"Yeah," Meryl muttered, her voice barely audible.
"Oh now, Dear," Meryl's father gave one of his cheesy grins. "I know you miss Nick, but it's time to come out of your depression and open up and smell the fresh air!" Meryl's father rolled down the window and stuck his head outside. He was bombarded with snow as he slowly began to weave into the next lane.
"Dad!" Meryl panicked as she jumped up in her seat. "Get your head back in the car!"
"Nonsense," Meryl's father said. "It's a perfect day to drive with your head outside the window." Meryl could spot an on-coming Diesel.
"Mr. Stryfe!" Demonte leaned into the front seat and groped for the steering wheel. "Give me the steering wheel!"
The Diesel honked and swerved around the car, succeeding in only spinning out and crashing into a nearby Gas Station. The building combusted and people ran from the store, trying to extinguish the fire from their bodies.
"Now, now, Demonte," Mr. Stryfe inhaled deeply as the car continued off the road and through an innocent civilian's yard. "Don't you know how dangerous it is to grab someone else's steering wheel? You could cause a wreck." Mr. Stryfe swatted away Demonte's hand.
The car continued forward through the yard, destroying tables, gardens, and fences. A completely random person was crossing at the crosswalk until the Stryfes' car sped forward and caught the pedestrian in the bumper, pulling him under the car and the tires. The pedestrian wailed as the car ran him over, tearing his limbs from his body.
Meryl sunk into her seat, gagging from the gruesome sight.
"Mr. Stryfe you just hit a pedestrian!" Demonte again reached for the steering wheel. "GIVE ME THE WHEEL!"
Collisions occurred as the Stryfes' car merged into the middle of both lanes and the cars swerved around their car, only to hit someone else.
"This is a disturbance in traffic!" Demonte yelled as he fought Mr. Stryfe for the wheel.
"All right already!" Mr. Stryfe pulled his head back into the car and pushed Demonte into the back seat. "I'm trying to make Meryl feel better, and you just keep ruining things."
"Dad…" Meryl said flatly. "A cop's following us."
"Really now?" Mr. Stryfe attempted to stick his head out the window again until Demonte grabbed his shoulders and pointed him in the direction of the rear-view mirror.
"They have mirrors so that you don't have to stick your head out the window, Mr. Stryfe."
"Hmmm, I wonder what he wants…" Mr. Stryfe glanced down at the speedometer. "I was going the speed limit…"
"I'm sure you were, Dad."
"What seems to be the problem, Officer?" Meryl's father asked as the cop peeked into the car.
The Cop was taken aback. "You mean you don't know?"
"I wasn't speeding, was I?" Mr. Stryfe asked, obviously oblivious to all of the destruction he had just caused.
"Oh no, no," The Cop said. "Actually I'm amazed that you stayed right at the speed limit while CAUSING MASSIVE DAMAGE TO THE CITY!"
Mr. Stryfe blinked. "Excuse me, am I missing something?"
Demonte and Meryl groaned from within the backseat.
"Do you have your Driver's License, Sir?"
"Why yes I do…" Mr. Stryfe began to fish in his pocket for the card. "Ah, here it is." He handed it to the Officer and he proceeded to check it over.
The Officer paused.
"Sir, are you aware that this license has expired?"
"So THAT'S what those little numbers meant!" Mr. Stryfe pounded his horn, as a deafening BONG blasted into the air. The Officer clutched his wounded ears. Then the Cop growled and stomped his foot.
"STEP OUT OF THE CAR!"
Mr. Stryfe proceeded to do so. The Officer stared Meryl's father down, as the Cop WAS a few inches taller.
"Am I in trouble, Officer?" Mr. Stryfe asked.
Irritation getting the better of him, the Cop swatted the Santa hat from Mr. Stryfe's head. It fell to the ground and the Officer proceeded to point a dictating finger at Mr. Stryfe.
"Are you a moron, Sir?"
"No, Officer, I don't think so."
Meryl buried her head in her hands.
"Sir, you don't realize that you have committed arson, murder, and massive damage on a grand scale? And to top it all off, you ran a red light."
Mr. Stryfe's face crumpled as tears welded in his eyes. "I ran a red light!?" He wailed. "I've NEVER done that before!"
"Dad, you should be more worried about the massive damage." Meryl poked her head out the window and the Officer observed Meryl and Demonte.
"AND!" The Officer continued. "You had children in the car! I'm afraid that this will be at LEAST a 10-15 year mandatory, Sir. You are SO busted!"
Meryl arrived in Algebra an hour late and took her seat. Her new teacher, Mr. Buttsavage, stopped talking and stared at her with disgust.
"What's your excuse for being late, Stryfe?" Mr. Buttsavage asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"My dad's in Solitary Confinement."
"Nice excuse, Stryfe. But it won't work on me." Mr. Buttsavage told her. "I don't care if it's Christmas. This is my one time to get revenge on one of you rotten little students for existing."
Mr. Buttsavage proceeded to call the Principal. Meryl could hear Knives snickering in the back of the class (his hair had miraculously lost the bleach color in it and was back to normal) and she rolled her eyes and then looked at Vash, who was glaring at her with evil eyes.
"What?" She asked.
"Oh, nothing. NOTHING." Vash hunched over, pretending to work on his math problems.
Wonder what's got him all upset. Meryl said to herself.
Meryl walked into the Principal's Office, surprised to see Demonte already there.
"Get kicked out of class?" Demonte asked.
"Yeah," Meryl answered.
"My English Teacher refused to believe that your father was put in Solitary Confinement." Demonte put emphasis on the words 'Solitary Confinement'.
"Same with me," Meryl took a seat next to Demonte. "Boy this is turning out to be a great day."
"Don't worry about it. It's minimum day and then there's the dance and play."
"And Christmas Break." Meryl added. "I'm not going to the play."
"Ditto, but I wouldn't mind the dance. You?"
"Well, everyone's going, although I don't really want to. But Milly insisted that I go."
"Oh yeah, isn't she dating that Joe character?" Demonte asked.
"Yeah. She is."
"Hmmm…Yeah, I'll probably go to the dance. Why don't you go with me? As an escort, not a date."
"Might be nice," Meryl said. "Sure, why not?"
"Good. I mean no offense about not taking you as a date or anything, but 1) We're just friends, and 2) Vash already has his priorities set about killing me. I wouldn't want that to interfere with the dance."
"Good enough for me. I see their car always sitting out across from our house in the street anyway."
Demonte laughed. "Meryl's got a stalker."
"Shut up," Meryl rolled her eyes. "I don't know why either of them would stalk me anyway. Vash has a girlfriend and Knives and I are always clashing head-to-head."
Meryl and Demonte were held in the Principal's Office until last period when Demonte and Meryl had cooking together. They walked to Ms. Jinkens' class and sat down just as the bell rang. Knives was at the table opposite of Meryl with Legato and Midvalley. Vash had seated himself with Melissa on the far table in the corner.
Vash shot Meryl and Demonte a fierce glare before looking away.
"Don't take it personally, Stryfe," Meryl turned in Knives' direction as he leaned over and whispered, "He just wants to kill your boyfriend there."
Meryl flared. "HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"
All eyes were on Meryl.
"Eh, heh…" She laughed nervously as she shrunk back into her chair.
"Now class," A fat woman stepped forward. Her hair was graying and her face was wrinkly and old. She straightened out her apron that clearly read 'Kiss The Cook'. "Today we will be making cherry pies for our Holiday Cheer! Now partner up in two's and three's and take a counter."
"Hi Meryl," Demonte said. "I'll save us a counter." Demonte stood up and Meryl began to stand as well.
She was instantly seated when a strong hand pushed her back into her seat. Meryl glanced up and saw Vash tower over her.
"What?" She asked.
"Are you REALLY going out with that Demonte kid?" Vash asked after a long pause.
"No, I'm NOT." Meryl said. "Who told you that? Knives, I assume?"
"No…" He said slowly.
"Vash stop being so serious. You're making me nervous. And why would you care anyway? You have Melissa."
Meryl attempted to stand again until Vash pushed her back into her seat.
"Are you going to the dance?" He asked.
"Yes I am," She said, becoming annoyed. "Can I stand up now?"
"With WHO?" Vash asked.
"Demonte's taking me as an es––"
"Kalabis!?" Vash's eyes narrowed. "I'm going to pound his face in and then…"
"Vash stop sexually harassing Kalabis' girl!" Knives shouted at his brother, a little TOO loudly.
Vash flushed and slowly stepped back, allowing Meryl to stand. She brushed past him and walked over to Demonte.
"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear Knives' comment." Demonte told her as he finished pouring the flour into the bowl.
"The same goes for me." Meryl said.
"What did Vash want?"
"What he always wants. To be annoying in hopes of driving me insane."
Meanwhile, Knives, Legato, and Midvalley were pouring in DOUBLE the amount of ingredients needed.
"Come on, Legato!" Knives ordered. "You're not working hard enough!"
"I'm sorry Master…" Legato said as he poured the entire package of flour into the bowl. "Ever since The Great One died…I just haven't been myself…"
"Well you'd better get it together!" Knives bellowed. "World Domination calls for GREAT LEADERS! Not some stupid wussies crying over a Magic 8 Ball."
Legato flared.
"WHAT…DID…YOU…SAY…?"
"STUPID…MAGIC…EIGHT…BALL…" Knives mocked Legato.
"Legato reached in for the goopy mess from within the bowl and chucked it at Knives, who ducked, and it wound up hitting Vash square in the back of the head.
Vash reached up slowly and pulled the mess from his hair. He turned around, fire in his eyes and glared at Demonte.
"So…he thinks that he can just TAKE Meryl AND hit me with dough!? I'll make him pay!" Vash reached into bowl, rolled the dough into a ball and threw it at Demonte.
The dough splattered all over Demonte's back and he turned around and stared at the culprit. Vash was already rolling another piece of dough into a ball. Demonte grabbed a pan and as Vash heaved another dough ball at him, Demonte hit the hall with the back of the pan, like a baseball.
Knives was busy laughing at Legato's lame attempt at throwing dough at him and hadn't noticed the next dough ball coming in his direction. He was hurled forward by the impact of the ball as it sprayed everywhere, attaching itself to his hair.
He whirled around, growling, and grabbed the jar of cherries that Midvalley was working with and reached deep inside. He began to chuck cherries at Demonte and Vash, who had both taken shelter behind the tables. The cherries bounced off the tables and hit other students in the face.
When the cherries had run out, Knives chucked the jar in a random direction and it hit Ms. Jinkens in the face. She went out like a lamp and fell to the ground.
"I'm going to kill you!" Vash yelled as he reached in for the last of the dough in his bowl and launched it at Demonte. Demonte ducked and it hit Meryl in the face instead. She yelled and tore the dough from her face. Vash couldn't help but laugh at her reddened face and Meryl stomped over to Vash as the entire room broke out into a food fight.
"Meryl…I didn't mean…" Vash began, trying hard not to laugh.
"SAVE IT!" She broke him off. "I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN!"
Vash stopped laughing.
"W-What?"
Meryl reached over and grabbed another student's dough bowl. She turned it upside down over Vash's head and watched as his entire face became covered with the dough.
Midvalley began to play the saxophone in the background until a random dough ball was flung in his direction. He fell backwards and his saxophone landed in the oven. The doors shut automatically.
"NO!" He cried and tried to pry open the doors. "WHY DID WE HAVE TO GET STUCK WITH THE BROKEN OVEN!?" Midvalley began to beat on the oven glass and looked through the glass to the inside of the oven. "SYLVIA! DADDY'S GOING TO GET YOU OUT!" His jaw dropped as the saxophone began to melt.
"SYLVIA!!!!!" Midvalley proceeded to kick the oven.
Meanwhile, Legato reached into his backpack and withdrew his broken Magic Eight Ball.
"Master…I curse these infidels who mock you and your death!" He shrieked when another student plucked The Great One from Legato's hand and dropped it into their own dough bowl. The student covered the Magic Eight Ball with dough and pitched it at another student.
Slow Motion
Legato began to run forward and dove into the air. He stretched his arms out and curled his fingers around The Great One.
End Slow Motion
Legato crashed on top of a table and slid off of it, falling to the ground. He rubbed away the dough from The Great One, except for the little bit that was in the crack of the ball.
"Master…" Legato whispered.
Then the most unexplainable thing happened…
…The Great One began to speak…
Legato…I live…
"M-Master?" Legato's bottom lip trembled. "THE GODS HAVE REVIVED YOU!" He hugged the ball close.
Kill the humans…
"Yes Master…" Legato resumed his evil British accent. "I will make them pay."
Meryl stormed out of the room just as Legato began to perform his evil psychic powers on all the kids (Excluding Knives, Midvalley, Demonte, Vash, and Melissa).
Vash stood there, dumbfounded. He hadn't even noticed that almost all of his classmates were dead because he was too busy watching as Meryl retreated out of the room.
Christmas Break at last! Everything was great!
…Well…almost…
"Come on Meryl, don't tell me that you don't want to go to the dance…" Demonte said as he combed the dough out of his hair.
"My dad's in Solitary Confinement, most of the kids are dead in my cooking class. Ms. Jinkens is dead, and I'm never speaking to Vash ever again."
"Why? Because he hit you with the dough that was supposed to be meant for me?"
"No. Because he hit me with the dough that was supposed to be meant for you and then LAUGHED." Meryl reached for a washcloth and rubbed the dry dough from her face. "And mom and Carl are down at the station trying to bail dad out."
"You already said that you'd go to the dance, Meryl. Don't back out on me and make me go by myself okay?"
"You'll be fine." She assured as she picked the dough out of her hair.
"Yeah, Vash wants to kill me, Knives would help, and Milly's too busy hanging out with Joe."
"Well…Yeah…You'd still be fine."
"Don't make me drag you over my shoulder. I'm NOT going by myself."
At Vash's House
"Vash, you really are a wuss." Knives said as he peeked into Vash's room. Vash was lying facedown on his bed and had been that way ever since school had been let out, three hours ago. "You're THIS upset because Stryfe said that she never wants to talk to you again?"
"Uh-huh…" Vash muttered, his words getting absorbed in the covers.
"So now you're not going to the dance?"
"Nuh-uh."
Knives rolled his eyes and grabbed Vash's alarm clock. He threw it at Vash's head and it shattered. Vash screamed into the covers.
"Get off the bed, Vash. You're going to the dance. I need someone to cover me while my lackeys and I ruin the party."
Meryl's House
"FINE! FINE!" Meryl yelled as she pounded on Demonte's back. "I'LL GO! I'LL GO! NOW PUT ME DOWN!"
"I knew that you'd see it my way." Demonte grinned as he dropped Meryl from over his shoulder and onto the couch. "Besides, I'm looking forward to this. I wonder if Vash will even show up after you told him that you were never going to talk to him again. I'll bet that he's been crying in his room ever since."
"Put a sock in it, Demonte." Meryl groaned as she climbed the stairs and walked into her room, shutting the door after her.
"I'm serious! I know he likes you!" Demonte called through the door. Surprisingly, he heard laughing. "What's so funny?"
"VASH!? LIKE ME!? HA! HA! HA! Surely you jest!"
"No, Mademoiselle, I don't."
Suddenly, the phone rang.
"I'll get it," Demonte offered as he ran back downstairs and grabbed the phone. "Hello?" He spoke into the receiver.
"Demonte?" A womanly voice. It was Milly.
"Milly? What's up?"
"You and Meryl are going to the dance together right?"
"Yes, but not 'as-together' as everyone thinks. Why?"
"Joe and I are going too. He wants to know if you both would like a ride."
"Well, it beats riding the city bus. Sure."
"Great!" Milly chirped. "See you in a few then."
Click.
"Hmmm…she seems pretty cheery…" Demonte said. "Wonder why…"
A few minutes later Meryl emerged from her room wearing a white satin dress that barely reached her knees. Several bracelets clanked against each other around her wrists and her white high-heels clicked against the floor. Unfortunately, her attitude didn't seem to fit her beautiful attire.
"Who was on the phone?" She asked, almost miserably.
"Milly," Demonte said. "Joe's giving us a ride to the dance."
"Goody," Meryl said unenthusiastically.
"Meryl, you need to lighten up." Demonte said as the two walked down the stairs. "Listen for the door. I'm going to write a note to your parents and my Grandpa about where we are."
Meryl sighed as Demonte went into another room. She really didn't want to go to the dance. Lately, she had felt sort of left out. Vash had a girlfriend (That Meryl was terribly jealous of, although she wouldn't admit that to anyone), Milly had a boyfriend, and Nick was gone. She didn't even know WHERE he was.
She only had to wait a few minutes before the doorbell rang. She opened it and saw Milly standing in the doorway, wearing a long green dress. Joe was above her, wearing a cowboy hat. He had a small moustache and a goatee.
"Evening, mon ami," He tipped his hat to her.
"Evening," Meryl responded.
"Oh good," Demonte walked back into the room. "Our ride's here."
Vash's House
"VASH GET OFF THE BED!" Knives grabbed hold of Vash's leg, attempting to pry him off the bed.
"NO!" Vash sobbed. "Meryl HATES me!"
"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?" Knives and Vash cringed and turned their attention to the doorway. Alex stood there, tapping his foot impatiently. "You two are the most DISRESPECTFUL LITTLE BRATS THAT…"
The phone rang and Alex cringed. "BE RIGHT BACK!"
Vash blinked. "Knives, who was that?"
"Probably one of Alex's many girlfriends. You DO know why Rem left Alex in the first place, right?"
"Oh. I thought that it was because Alex died and went to the Land of the Angels and…"
Knives hit Vash over the head.
"DON'T BE STUPID VASH! Alex an ANGEL!? HA! Now get ready! Melissa called here, unfortunately. She expects you to take her."
"But I don't wanna!" Vash whined.
Knives paused. "Am I sensing rejection, dear brother? Two months ago she was your pride and joy and now you detest her?"
"All right, well I…I…"
"You WHAT…dear brother?" Knives smirked, already knowing the answer.
"I lied."
"About?"
"I never really liked Melissa."
"Dear brother, I do believe that we are FINALLY communicating." Knives sat on the edge of the bed. "Continue."
"Well…I've always liked someone else." Vash flipped over onto his back.
"Do tell…"
At The Dance
"This feels really awkward…" Meryl said as Demonte took her hand and led her into the auditorium.
"How so?"
"I've usually gone to all these dances with my friends. And now…"
Demonte patted her hand. "Don't worry, nothing's changed."
Inside, Christmas decorations lit up the room, giving a colorful feel. Christmas songs were coming over the speakers as the teachers were in the back of the auditorium, decorating a HUGE Christmas tree.
Milly and Joe immediately took off to the dance floor, dancing with everyone else.
"This is going to be entertaining." Demonte said as he brushed off his formal black jacket and tucked in his shirt. "What do you want to do first?"
"Let's go dancing." Meryl said, pulling him on the floor as an upbeat song came on.
Shortly afterwards, Knives and his lackeys filled the doorway as Vash sulked in from behind with Melissa attached to his arm.
"Don't look now." Demonte said as he spotted Vash.
"Why not?" Meryl stopped dancing. She turned around and spotted Vash. "WHY I OUTTA…"
"Meryl," Demonte grabbed her arms. "Happy thoughts now…"
At this time, Vash had spotted Meryl with Demonte's hands on her arms. He immediately took this the wrong way and clenched his fists.
"He's just trying to spite me…" Vash growled as Melissa pulled him over to the punch bowl.
"I think he saw us." Demonte said.
"Who cares!?" Meryl spat as she turned around. "We're not going to let him ruin MY evening." She resumed dancing.
Demonte shrugged and began to dance too.
"Meryl!" Meryl looked up to see Milly and Joe advancing towards her. "Did you see who else was here?"
"Are you talking about the world's two largest idiots and their lackeys?"
Milly paused and then nodded. "Um…I think so."
"I saw them. WHATEVER you do, DON'T let Vash talk to me!" Meryl huffed.
Demonte shook his head.
"Um…okay…" Milly agreed. "I shall do my best."
"You can count on us, mon ami!" Joe grinned as he patted Milly's shoulder.
Vash watched the group chatting away. He turned to look at Melissa. "Excuse me a second." He told her and walked off towards Meryl.
"Oh no, Meryl!" Milly leaned forward. "Here he comes! I will keep him away although I don't know WHY I'm keeping him away."
Milly walked up to Vash and stood in front of him, stretching out her arms. "You can't pass, Vash!"
Vash stopped, blinked, and walked around her.
"No!" Milly sighed. "I have failed."
"Meryl!" Vash called out to Meryl. "I need to talk to you."
"Whatever you have to say, Vash, I don't want to––" Meryl was interrupted as an arm spun her around and lips leaned down to touch her own.
Demonte and Vash stood there in shock as Big Slash Great Joe grabbed Meryl and pulled her into a kiss. Enraged, Vash yanked the man off of Meryl and cocked his hand back, ready to punch the daylights out of this man.
"Joe!" Milly cried. "How could you!?"
"But she said that she didn't want to talk to––"
POW!
Vash punched Joe and watched as he crumpled to the ground. Vash glared down at the unconscious man, ready to disembowel him.
Milly collapsed to the ground, crying.
Meryl was in shock as she watched Vash just punch Joe.
And Demonte…?
Well, he was just happy that he wasn't on Vash's hit list at the moment.
"Milly!" A familiar voice stopped all movement and sound in the auditorium. All attention had been diverted to a male in black clad, who now stood in the doorway. "Milly, do not cry for scum like that…" The man stepped forward and everyone gasped.
…It was Nick.
"Hold it right there!" From the opposite doors in the auditorium, Jet and Spike barged in, looking ready to kill.
Just what the heck was going on?
***
GASP! The Great One is alive!? Nick's come back!? And of course, we'd ALL like to know what Spike and Jet are up to…
And why is Vash acting so peculiar? Could our legendary broom-head be in love with someone? grin R&R please!
BLD