A/n: Well hello there people, Tis' us . . . Hollie and Kat again, we are
back another chapter of comical characters who appear in the amazing
'Sweep' series by Cate Tiernan! Read on and feel free to laugh you head off
. . . if you don't find it that funny . . . then what the hell are you
doing still reading it? Lol!
Chapter 2: Alyce over the edge
Alyce was sitting in the small staff room of Practical Magick that was hidden away behind a tattered orange curtain.
She was sat on a table with a bottle of pills and began laughing hysterically.
'One for you . . .' Alyce placed a pill on the other side of the table, where Ogla, her imaginary was 'sitting' '5 for meeeee!' she cried popping five pills into her mouth following them down with a bottle of vodka.
'One more time Ogla!' she cried after a fit of laughter, 'one for you . . . 5 for meeeee!' she repeated her movements again and burst into an insane fit of laughter.
Alyce heard the jingle from the bell above the shop door. 'Ogla, that's a customer, just be quiet and I'll be back as soon as I can'
She ventured to the other side of the curtain, 'Wow! A shop? I own this? I rock!' she laughed.
She came face to face with a man maybe 7 or 8 years younger than herself with dark brown eyes, and dark hair with hints of silver shooting through it.
'Hello,' he said in a faint Scottish accent, Alyce who had become completely infatuated with this hansome stranger began drooling white foam from her huge grinning face.
He shook his head quickly and acted on his instincts to do what he came in to do.
'Do you have a dragon blood talisman?' Alyce shrugged, 'how the hell should I know, I barely remember I own this shop half the time' A shocked look then crossed her face, 'WHAT? I own a shop! WOW!'
The man narrowed his eyes, 'right . . .'
'But we seem to have a lot of pretty candles . . . I bet ya want the black one in the shape of a penis huh?' Alyce winked, well she tried to wink, and it was more like she was trying to blink with duck tape pulling her eyelids back.
She then gave up, pulled the bottle of pills from her pocket and threw a handful in her mouth causing the bottle to be, well, empty
The man took the pills from Alyce's hand and read the label aloud, 'Worm tablets for dogs, give your dog 1 a day to prevent worms entering its system causing them being passed on to your pathetic kids and eventually onto you . . . why do you people own animals?'
He looked at Alyce and then read the small print at the bottom, 'Warning to all chemists, please do not sell these to Alyce Fernbrake'
He looked at the insane woman foaming at the mouth . . . I take it you're Alyce.
'Yeah baby, and you are?' 'Ciaran, Ciaran MacEwan' he replied, Alyce went wide eyed, 'Oh Goddess!' she gasped, 'you're Ciaran MacEwan'
He gave her a smug grin and nodded, 'that's right'
'Whoa, you are so much sexier in person than how I imagined you! And believe me I have a good imagination'
Alyce kept winking at Ciaran and came on to him strongly, Ciaran, understandably, was strongly resisting.
'I'm sorry Alyce, really, you seem . . . great, but I don't really want to date'
Alyce nodded understanding, 'Bad break-up huh?' she asked
'Oh no,' Ciaran said, 'I just don't want to go out with you, you psychopathic, pill poppin' freak'
Alyce glared at him and screamed, 'I'll never forget how you betrayed and hurt me Ciaran MacEwan, I will forever curse you!'
Ciaran stared at her for a second and then burst into laughter.
'GET OUT!' she screamed, he did as he was told laughing as he left the store.
Alyce turned around and was heading towards the tatty orange curtain which she was considering painting pink when she stopped and took a good look around.
'I own this?' she asked herself, 'Wow a candle maker, who knew' she shrugged and joined Ogla behind the curtain.
'I'm back Ogla, I just have to curse the most good looking man I have ever met, then we can continue with our counting lesson, remember - 1 for you, 5 for me.'
Chapter 2: Alyce over the edge
Alyce was sitting in the small staff room of Practical Magick that was hidden away behind a tattered orange curtain.
She was sat on a table with a bottle of pills and began laughing hysterically.
'One for you . . .' Alyce placed a pill on the other side of the table, where Ogla, her imaginary was 'sitting' '5 for meeeee!' she cried popping five pills into her mouth following them down with a bottle of vodka.
'One more time Ogla!' she cried after a fit of laughter, 'one for you . . . 5 for meeeee!' she repeated her movements again and burst into an insane fit of laughter.
Alyce heard the jingle from the bell above the shop door. 'Ogla, that's a customer, just be quiet and I'll be back as soon as I can'
She ventured to the other side of the curtain, 'Wow! A shop? I own this? I rock!' she laughed.
She came face to face with a man maybe 7 or 8 years younger than herself with dark brown eyes, and dark hair with hints of silver shooting through it.
'Hello,' he said in a faint Scottish accent, Alyce who had become completely infatuated with this hansome stranger began drooling white foam from her huge grinning face.
He shook his head quickly and acted on his instincts to do what he came in to do.
'Do you have a dragon blood talisman?' Alyce shrugged, 'how the hell should I know, I barely remember I own this shop half the time' A shocked look then crossed her face, 'WHAT? I own a shop! WOW!'
The man narrowed his eyes, 'right . . .'
'But we seem to have a lot of pretty candles . . . I bet ya want the black one in the shape of a penis huh?' Alyce winked, well she tried to wink, and it was more like she was trying to blink with duck tape pulling her eyelids back.
She then gave up, pulled the bottle of pills from her pocket and threw a handful in her mouth causing the bottle to be, well, empty
The man took the pills from Alyce's hand and read the label aloud, 'Worm tablets for dogs, give your dog 1 a day to prevent worms entering its system causing them being passed on to your pathetic kids and eventually onto you . . . why do you people own animals?'
He looked at Alyce and then read the small print at the bottom, 'Warning to all chemists, please do not sell these to Alyce Fernbrake'
He looked at the insane woman foaming at the mouth . . . I take it you're Alyce.
'Yeah baby, and you are?' 'Ciaran, Ciaran MacEwan' he replied, Alyce went wide eyed, 'Oh Goddess!' she gasped, 'you're Ciaran MacEwan'
He gave her a smug grin and nodded, 'that's right'
'Whoa, you are so much sexier in person than how I imagined you! And believe me I have a good imagination'
Alyce kept winking at Ciaran and came on to him strongly, Ciaran, understandably, was strongly resisting.
'I'm sorry Alyce, really, you seem . . . great, but I don't really want to date'
Alyce nodded understanding, 'Bad break-up huh?' she asked
'Oh no,' Ciaran said, 'I just don't want to go out with you, you psychopathic, pill poppin' freak'
Alyce glared at him and screamed, 'I'll never forget how you betrayed and hurt me Ciaran MacEwan, I will forever curse you!'
Ciaran stared at her for a second and then burst into laughter.
'GET OUT!' she screamed, he did as he was told laughing as he left the store.
Alyce turned around and was heading towards the tatty orange curtain which she was considering painting pink when she stopped and took a good look around.
'I own this?' she asked herself, 'Wow a candle maker, who knew' she shrugged and joined Ogla behind the curtain.
'I'm back Ogla, I just have to curse the most good looking man I have ever met, then we can continue with our counting lesson, remember - 1 for you, 5 for me.'