A/N: Hello everyone!!!!!!!! I hope you like this chapter, it's like I'm moving somewhere. WOW!!!
Journal Entry, Confession: Well, I finally did it, I told Kioko. Mainly because she had had enough and wasn't going to let me get to my mound of homework (which she stuffed into a trunk and sat on top of) until I promised her that I'd explain my 'sickness'. I didn't tell her everything though, this is how it went pretty much. We were in our room, we had finished our homework, and all that was left for a few more hours was reading and doing whatever.
"Okay," I said taking a deep breath. "I'll tell you, but you have to swear not to tell anyone else or bring it up when there's a chance someone else might overhear." I said.
"I promise, and if I break this promise you may call me Rumpldstiltskin for the rest of my life." She said holding up her hand, as if taking an oath. "If you want I'll put up a silence ward." I nodded and she did so with her wand.
I took another deep breath and then let it out. "Her name is Mistress 9 to begin with, she's a…demon of sorts, and she's been living inside of me ever sense I was little." I told her, I the waited for a response.
"Er, demon? Heh, heh heh. Not what I was expecting. So, let me guess. You've been harboring her for all these years and she's the reason you suddenly scream at night with blood on your forehead and get lost easily?" she asked.
"Basically. It hasn't been happening until recently though, she's only come back after the first time I had a nightmare. We thought she was dead, but we were obviously wrong. She's been trying to control me again, and she's been doing a good job by making me wander down odd corridors. Several times I've found myself in this one specific corridor that's off limits to students. I got caught by Snape the first time, thankfully he understood and didn't give me detention. He's been helping me with her during our Monday classes." I explained.
"Aaaaaaaah. It all makes a lot more sense now. Why you're taking those lessons with Snape, why you suddenly walk off without a goodbye, and why you're eyes sometimes glaze over and you go into a trance." She said. "That's also a good reason for why you're in the hospital so much."
"Wait, I go into trances?" I asked, a bit surprised.
"You didn't know? While we're studying you'll sometimes stay perfectly still, no blinking, and I sometimes felt as if you weren't breathing either. But when you snap out of it you'll 'remember' that you already read that book and find another one. That could also explain why you're so good at Seeking in Quidditch. You do some psychic cheating don't you?" She asked.
"Well, I suppose so. But I really don't know how to shut it off anymore. She's given me these…powers that I'm not allowed to use. But in return I have to be her host." I said sighing. "I wish she would just go away. But she clams that she can't be killed, and that so long as I live so will she."
"Ha! Everything can die, I mean, even Dumbledore has to kick the bucket some time. It might not be in our lifetimes but he will. Though the method that might be needed to kill her off might kill you as well, everything can die." Kioko clamed. Oh if she only knew how wrong she was.
I shook my head, "Some things are meant to be forever. Not everything can die, but I agree with you here. I think she's just lying to keep us from trying." I said.
Kioko let out a breath, "A demon, and you said I was the strong one. If you've been able to keep her at bay for so long, man, no wonder you're able to use Kinetics. You're probably going to be a really powerful witch, heck, you are a really powerful witch." She said admiringly. "I don't guess anyone else knows." She said.
"No, no one but you, my parents, Snape, and our family friends know. And everyone has been sworn to secrecy about it." I told her.
"Ah, well I feel special now. Anyways, now that you can trust me with that can you trust me enough to tell me what exactly that book of yours is?" She asked.
I sighed, obviously she wasn't fooled by they 'diary' excuse. "Okay, okay. I'm not really sure myself, but it's a book that I found in my Grandmother's basement. Basically whenever I open it I find something I'm looking for. It tells me things that I shouldn't be able to know, like the future and other people's pasts. It can also show me how to do things and such. Here," I pulled out the book and opened it up to a page that had a full map of the dormitory and little dots with names beside them to indicate people. "I could find out just what to do and when to do it to put the entire castle in an uproar."
"Whoa! Let me see!!!" She exclaimed moving the book around so she could see the map. "Darn, I can't read the words." She grumbled, squinting at the strange characters.
"I think it's an ancient language that only certain people can read." I said taking it back.
"Ah, like the thestrals?" Kioko asked. I shrugged.
"I'm not quite sure." I said. I doubted that my being Saturn's Princess had anything to do with thestrals. And I knew that I could understand it because it was the native language of Saturn.
For the rest of the evening Kioko had me look up and read to her several things, mostly revenge tactics though.
So now she knows, two of my secrets at least, and one I haven't even shown to Chibi-Usa.
It's getting colder the closer it gets to Christmas. I hate the cold, why does it have to be freezing? I keep having to layer up under my robes, wear gloves and earmuffs, and my cheeks still turn pink from the frost. The lobby seems the warmest place in Hogwarts, and it usually has a lot of noisy people. I'm not too happy about our continuing Quidditch practices in the snow, I just can't seem to warm up after I get cold, and then my stiff fingers can hardly keep hold of the snitch much less catch it. When we start practicing I can get the snitch pretty quickly, but it slows down after my fingers numb.
I got a letter from Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama saying that we were all going to spend Christmas in Hogwarts this year. Kioko's reaction was…well, she was happy about it to say the least because she 'neverrrrrrr' spends Christmas with her family if she can help it. I also got letters from Usagi, Ami, Rei, Minako, and Makoto saying they were all coming down to visit as well because they missed the Hogsmeade day. Kioko was a bit uneasy about it though, "Too many people." She explained.
I was surprised to find out that Draco wouldn't be going home for the holidays either, though Crabbe and Goyle were. But when I asked him about it he got defensive and told me to mind my own business. There's something troubling him, but I want him to tell me himself and not find out through telepathy. I think I'll confront him today, before Haruka-papa gets here at least, and see if he'll tell me what's been bothering him so much. Tomorrow is the last DA meeting for the holidays.
Speaking of the DA, we're doing pretty well in that. Kioko's been getting everyone on their feet to say the least, she makes them rather…interesting. Once she brought her two snakes and cats into the room and had them walk around while they were all doing their spells. It was supposedly to teach them not to freeze in fear, it more or less worked because every time someone froze whatever animal was closest to them would fake-attack and jar them out of it.
Well, Kioko's gone to the library, Draco's in the common room by himself, this is more or less the best chance I'll get to confront him.
Hotaru put her book up and then slipped off her bed.
She found Draco sitting in his normal spot off to the side reading something on a piece of parchment. Before she reached him he suddenly crumbled up the paper and threw it into the fireplace, he crossed his arms over his chest and watched the paper turn black and burn in the fire with a look of hatred in his eyes.
"What's wrong?" Hotaru asked from behind him. Malfoy jumped and jerked his head in her direction.
"Oh it's you, Tomo." He said sinking back into his chair. "Everything's wrong Tomo. The sky, the air, the snow, the fire, everything." He answered.
"Why is that?" She asked.
"It just is." He said, shaking it off.
Hotaru sat down in a chair near his. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.
"With you?" He snorted.
"If not me than who?" She asked. When he was silent she went on, "It isn't good to bottle things up inside, sometimes the best medacine to help handle these things is just to talk to someone about it, get it out of your system." She said.
Draco sighed and eyed her, "You're not going to give up until I 'get it out of my system' are you?" He asked. Hotaru shook her head smiling. "Night is rubbing off on you." He mumbled. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, as if to brace himself. "It's my father." He said quietly, even though they were the only people in the room. "He's being a…a git in the words of Weasley."
"What's he doing?" Hotaru asked.
Draco shook his head, "A collection of things I suppose. He's…never mind." He said.
"What? Tell me." Hotaru pushed.
"You can't say a word to anyone, especially not Night." He ordered darkly.
"I promise." Hotaru told him nodding.
"He hasn't been very much of a father to say the least." He went on. "He's been very…reclusive, and when he isn't he's ordering me to…spy I guess. And he hasn't been exactly gentle to my Mother. He's been bribing the Ministry, beating my Mother, beating me, serving the Dark Lord under everyone's nose, spying, and he still expects me to call him Father!" Malfoy said, his voice getting louder the angrier he got. "That letter I threw into the fireplace was from him, he found out that I knew you, found out something or other about you because of your 'fame', and wants me to start spying on you as well as bring you to 'our' side." He said, calming down just a bit. "Did it ever once cross his mind that maybe, maybe I might not agree with him on everything?! That maybe I have my own mind and my own opinions!?" He demanded to nothing and everything at the same time.
Draco Malfoy took a deep breath and let it out as if to try and relax himself. He sank further into his chair and smirked, "You're right, it does feel good to let it all out." He said.
"It helps doesn't it? So I'm guessing you don't want to be a Death Eater as well?" She asked. Malfoy gave her a bit of a surprised look, on of those 'how did you know?!' looks, but then he remembered that he'd said his father was serving the Dark Lord.
Malfoy shook his head, "No, but I certainly can't tell him that, and there's no way I could say anything. The Dark Lord himself would have my head because I know too much." He said. He sighed again, "It's like I'm stuck in something I can't get out of and it wasn't even my choice either. And it's a loose-loose situation, I either serve the Dark Lord or I die. That's all there is to it." He said.
"Like an illness." Hotaru stated, knowing exactly what he must be feeling. And probably more. How'd he like to be stuck with a demon inside of him for the rest of eternity? At least he had the choice of death.
"Exactly." Malfoy straightened up a bit. "Sounds like we both have something in common." Hotaru nodded grimly. "So, what's the deal with your disease, exactly. It can't be something normal or you'd have gone to St. Mungo's to get rid of it." He said.
"You're right, it isn't normal. But it's basically that, I just wake up sick now and then and have to spend a night in the Hospital Wing. I'll probably die from it when I get too old to sustain it, but it isn't too serious, it just won't go away." She lied. "My parents don't see the need to alert anyone of it, it's kind of a family secret. They don't want everyone to know because it'll just make me more of a target, if you know what I mean." She told him.
"I bet with you're supposed fortune you could find a cure." Malfoy said, he got a stick and started poking the fire to stir it up a bit.
"It's not that simple." Hotaru sighed. "But you can't tell anyone." She said.
"It's not like people haven't already guessed. I suppose you've told Night?" He asked. Hotaru nodded and he set the fire-poker back on its stand. "So I suppose you're still friends with Potter?" He said, a sneer in his voice.
"What is it about him that you just don't like?" Hotaru asked.
"His fame, his popularity, the fact that he exists, his whole Gryffindor persona." Malfoy answered, sitting back into his chair. "Basically, we were meant to be enemies from the start."
"How do you know that? Do you just hate him because he's in Gryffindor? Because you're papa taught you to hate him? What makes you so sure you're suppose to be his enemy? I mean, you're not too thrilled about becoming a Death Eater." Hotaru asked.
For a moment Malfoy sat there, looking as though he were actually thinking over her words. He then started laughing, "I guess I never really thought of it." He said.
"I get the feeling that if you two put your differences aside and actually tried you could actually become good friends." Hotaru stated.
"As if Tomo, as if." He repeated. "That might happen in some sort of book based purely on fiction, but you're forgetting the key word, 'try'. I'm certain after all the trouble I've caused Potter he'd be willing to 'try', and I see nothing in befriending him. Besides, Potter is too close to those Weasleys that you're also making friends with."
"Well, maybe if you didn't entice them so much." She said.
"It's not my fault they're a bunch of Mud Bloods." He snorted.
"And that's what I'm talking about. Stop thinking everyone's inferior to you, they're people, just like you. How can you judge someone by blood when it's still red like your own? Everyone is still a person, magic or no. They all have hearts, dreams, thoughts, feelings, and souls. What does it matter?" Hotaru asked.
Malfoy just stared at her with an unreadable expression; he shook his head and sighed again. "You're strange, Tomo, wanna know why?" He asked. But before she could answer he said, "You're the only person who's ever gotten me to think twice about my beliefs."
Hotaru just smiled and got up. She smoothed out her robes. "You leaving?" Malfoy asked, trying to sound indifferent.
"Yeah, Kioko wanted me to meet her in the Lobby today and if I wait any longer she'll yell at me." She told him. She stretched a bit, bending her back so that she could work out all the kinks and noticed something on the ceiling. She then bent down and delivered a little kiss on Malfoy's cheek. "Marry Christmas Ryuuza." She said before turning around and heading out of the common room.
But before she left she could have sworn she heard Malfoy mumble, "I'm going to kill whoever put that there."
**********
"HAVE A VERY HARRY CHRISTMAS!" Was what the banner in the DA room said. Everything had been decorated, and several people were in there already when Hotaru entered.
"Hi Harry. Did you put up all these decorations?" Hotaru asked him.
"No, it was Dobby the house-elf." He answered.
"So, have you gotten replacements for the three?" Kioko asked Angelina.
The Gryffindor captain was about to dish out a snippy retort, but remembered it was Kioko and sighed, "Yeah. Though they're nothing compared to Tomo and yourself." She said.
"Pift," Kioko waved off, "Quidditch is a game, Johnson, and games are meant to be enjoyed. Competition sucks the fun out of everything in my opinion, and we're playing to have fun!"
Angelina chuckled, "This," She said to several others, "Is what is known as a good sport." She finished, referring to Kioko.
"Of course she's a good sport, she's one of the best beaters Hogwarts has seen in years. She can direct her bludger towards someone and miss them on purpose!" Exclaimed Ron.
"I can also make it ricochet off the goal post and hit Malfoy off his broom." Kioko said. Anyone who heard her started laughing, Fred and George especially.
"You really don't like Malfoy do you?" Hotaru asked.
"It's not really that I don't like him, it's just so fun to bash him!" She answered grinning. (A/N: She's right you know.)
"Ahem," Harry cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. "Right, Okay I thought this evening we should go over the things we've done so far, because it's the last meeting before the holidays and there's no point in starting anything new right before a three-week break—"
"We're not doing anything new? If I'd known that, I wouldn't have come…" Muttered Zacharias Smith.
"We're all really sorry Harry didn't tell you then," Fred said loudly. Several people laughed or snickered at this. Even Hotaru had to giggle.
"We can practice in pairs, we'll start with the Impediment Jinx, just for 10 minutes, then we can get out the cushions and try Stunning again." Harry told them.
Kioko and Hotaru pared up, Jinxed each other to make sure their skills were good, and then started walking around the room to help some other people.
All in all, it went pretty well. Except for the time near the end of their hour when a certain blond suddenly busted into the room.
"Oh Hotaru-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!!!!!" Hotaru stopped what she was doing and slowly turned towards the door. How, how did she find—? "Oh there you are!!!" Minako squealed. She ran over and grabbed Hotaru in a very tight hug. "It is I, Sailor V, here to rescue you!!!" She exclaimed.
"Here to embarrass her more like it." Kioko muttered. "How'd you find us here?" She demanded.
"Oh, I asked Setsuna, who knows all, and she told me." Minako said letting go of Hotaru. "I'm rather surprised I was the first one here. But, Haruka had a drag race to date. Anyways!!! So this is the DA huh? Cool."
"Um, who told you about us again?" Asked Hermione.
"Setsuna Meiou." Minako answered.
"The nurse?!" exclaimed Dean.
"Like I said, she knows aaaaaaaaaall. It's best not to ask. Ooooooh, what's this? AAAAAHHHH!!! I CAN'T GET MY HAND OUT OF IT HELP MEEEEE!!!" Minako screamed, trying to get her hand off one of the gimmicks on the desk. "Eh, oh, you do this. Heheh. Well, I'll leave you to finish up here, and because I need to boil my hand you'll see me later." She told Hotaru before exiting the room.
All eyes were on Hotaru and she was feeling very small right then. "I never told her!" She exclaimed honestly.
"How do we know that? You're always in the Hospital, you sure you didn't let it slip?" Asked someone from the crowd.
"Hey hold on a minute!!!" Kioko said stepping in front of Hotaru. "Does Hotaru seem like the kind of person who can't keep secrets? You'd think she'd just babble about that kind of stuff?" She demanded.
"No, but you do. Maybe you told Madam Meiou." Zacharias accused.
"Why in the world would I, or Hotaru for that matter, tell Setsuna about the DA? And even if we had, which we didn't, Setsuna obviously hasn't told Umbridge or anyone so she can be trusted." Kioko put in.
"Wait, I don't think anyone told her." Hermione said, "She might have overheard me talking to one of you about it when we were gathering you all." She defended. "So don't jump down Hotaru's throat, she'd never tell anyone!!!"
"How do you know? She is a Slytherin."
"Oh come one mates," Lee Jordan put in, "Not all Slytherins are bad."
"Yeah!" Fred and George defended.
"So stop being such a wart, all of you." Kioko said leering.
"If you can't trust my word on it then you can go ask her yourselves." Hotaru said quietly, feeling a bit hurt that they would turn on her so quickly. But she should have expected it, it always happened to her.
Her face was hidden by her hair because she was looking down at her shoes, fighting the urge to break down and start crying in front of everyone. But it seemed as if her quiet words were enough to tell them how she was feeling because there was an awkward silence where no one was saying anything. She was in the middle of everyone, being stared at, yet supported by her friends, and yet she still didn't feel as though she could hold herself up.
Hotaru's legs started wobbling, she was beginning to feel dizzy, she could hardly breath and was having to fight for her breath. Something burned on her forehead, but she knew what it was, and she shook.
"Hotaru? HOTARU!!!" Was the last thing she heard before everything went black.
********
"Hotaru" a kind, gentle voice whispered. Hotaru had seen her before, she had beautiful lavender eyes, silvery white hair that seemed to float in all directions. She was so beautiful, with soft tan skin, full red lips, a lovely smile, and a dress to fit a goddess. "Everything will be alright. Don't worry." She whispered again. She laid her soft hand on Hotaru's head and pet her. "Don't let them scare you, okay?" She said in a very motherly voice. "You are a very special girl, don't be scared." She said and then she started to fade away.
There were voices, a lot of them. And they were making such a ruckus too. Hotaru's head started pounding because of it, she dared to peek and found that her hospital room was packed with…people. All the senshi were there it seemed, Kioko, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George were all there. And then there were several people from the DA stuffing the room as well. In fact it seemed that everyone from the DA were there, and was that…Draco?! What were all these people doing here? And what were they all demanding?! What was going on.
"SILENCE!!!" Setsuna yelled above the crowd. Soon there was no one talking.
"Who—who was that—that woman?" Asked a shaking Ron.
"Can't we just obliterate their memories?" Haruka-papa asked, getting some odd stares.
"No, Haruka, we cannot, or rather we should not. She surfaced once, she will do it again. And fairly soon no doubt." Setsuna said. "Now, I want you all to please be quiet for a moment alright?" She asked. "Or we will obliterate your memory." She then turned to Hotaru, "Hotaru, do you remember, anything of what happened earlier?" She asked.
"N-no." Hotaru stuttered, she shook with fear at what was to come.
Setsuna cleared her throat and looked around at everyone in the room, "I'm afraid that what you have just witness is only the start of something horrible, and yet good at the same time. What I am about to say will change your lives forever, it will plunge you into a void of questions without answers. You will not live to see the results, a few of you might, but not many. With a few words I could turn your lives upside down, with an entire speech I could do more than that. It will shake you up, turn you upside down then right-side-up again. All of your futures may be changed by this, by mere knowledge. It will be a dangerous, fearful, and nonetheless twisting path. But if you wish, we can obliterate your memories. Nothing will change for you, you'll no longer remember what happened in the Room of Requirement. This path, I believe, is the best path any of you can chose." She said. Setsuna then paused and looked at all the faces, most scared, others confused still, and many fearful. "In fact, I highly recommend you allow us to obliterate your memory. You won't remember that Minako even entered the room and anything after that. You won't remember the demon of fear, Mistress 9, which is the woman who took over Hotaru's body. You won't remember the living nightmares she laid out before your eyes. You won't remember what she repetitiously did to you after that. In other words, you won't remember what it feels like to loose your soul over and over again."
No one stirred, barely anyone breathed. Some looked at Hotaru, and some at Setsuna. Some had terrified expressions on their faces when they remembered what happened, some looked as though they might need medical attention too, many shivered uncontrollably, tears seeping from their eyes when they remembered what happened.
"I don't want to remember." Whispered Nevil Longbottom. There was a murmur of agreement, almost everyone nodded their heads.
"Raise your hand if you still wish to keep your memories." Setsuna said. Only three people raised their hands, and they were Kioko, Harry, and Draco. "The rest of you leave the room, and I mean everyone besides." She said, she gave the other senshi a look that told them to work on the students' memories. "And please, try to give them the same memory."
The room filled out quietly, but quickly, and soon it was just the 5 of them, Setsuna helped Hotaru sit up with her pillows.
"It's more than just a Demon, isn't it?" Kioko asked shuddering. "It's more than, just having a demon possessing Hotaru, isn't it?" Tears started seeping from her eyes and she sniffed, "It's something worse than a demon, isn't it?" her voice was shaky and her words were forced out. She hiccupped and bend down into a position were her face was pressed against her legs and her arms wrapped around her head and started crying uncontrollably.
"Are you sure you don't want to forget?" Setsuna asked, kindly stroking Kioko's hair. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" She asked again.
"Get a hold of yourself, Night." Draco said, though there was very little force in his voice and it sounded as if he would have given anything to be a girl just so he could bawl like her as well.
"Yes, yes I want to know." Kioko stated as she calmed herself down. She whipped her face with her cape and swallowed the rest of her tears.
Harry was silent, unable to speak, unable to do anything for fear he might shatter as well.
"Very well then." Setsuna said, she swept onto the chair beside Hotaru's bed and sat down into it. "I cannot tell you everything in one setting because it would take to long, and there is also the fact that I, surprisingly so, do not know everything. Mistress 9 is no demon, she is an incarnate, a creature that cannot be killed, for her life is Hotaru's life and Hotaru cannot die either." She stated.
"Wait, what do you mean she can't die?" Draco asked.
Setsuna rocked back in her chair, contemplating what she was going to say next. "There are three worlds that exist on and near this one planet. There is the Muggle world, as you call it, there is the Wizarding world, the one you live in, and there is a third world. A world of battles between light and dark, a world kept secret from you as you have kept secret from us for so long. There are more powers than just magic. Hotaru is one of us, she has been gifted, or cursed with a Sailor Crystal. This is like her soul, trapped within a jewel so that it can never pass on to the afterlife. She, more than any of us, has been reborn several times, unable to die and continually coming back to life. As I said, I will not be able to explain everything now, we still need to get you back to your dormitories soon or someone will suspect, so wait until we have more time for your inquiries." She told them when they looked ready to bust out with questions.
Setsuna went on, "The first time she died as Hotaru Tomo, she was brought back with the awakening of the incarnate that she had been harboring since before even I know. As I have been able to find out, Mistress 9 was not her own being, Hotaru, she was always apart of you, though how I've yet to find out." She said, now to Hotaru. She then turned back to the others, "After that Mistress 9 grew stronger and stronger within her, until finally she surfaced and tried to destroy the world by awakening another, currently stronger, being called Pharaoh 90. Usagi was able to help Hotaru overcome Mistress 9, but Pharaoh 90 had already surfaced and had nearly emerged completely. It was then that Hotaru awakened as the true Massiah of Silence and defeated Pharaoh 90 with an attach that could very well destroy an entire planet, but it took her life as payment. She was then reborn, the threat of Mistress 9 thought to be gone completely, but something has happened and Mistress 9 is surfacing again, and I'm afraid she's become more powerful somehow. More powerful than Pharaoh 90 or," She looked at Hotaru, "Possibly even Chaos."
Hotaru couldn't gasp, she had no breath for it. She doubted her face had any color in it whatsoever, but that didn't matter. An entity…inside of her…had somehow become…more powerful…than even Chaos. Hotaru started shaking violently, she didn't breath, she didn't make any sound whatsoever. It, it couldn't be. Chaos was, Cosmos was Chaos's only equal! Chaos didn't have, he couldn't have, there couldn't be anyone more powerful than Chaos!!! It, it wasn't suppose to be, it couldn't…it didn't make sense….
The next thing Hotaru knew she was swallowed up in a black abyss.