Note: It's not very clear, but if you've read the books you'll get it. Also, if there's anything wrong about it or you just don't like it, please say so.



I am Olaf



I am a Count, Olaf's the name, I come in many sizes,

Everywhere I travel to I'm always in disguises.

I'm chasing after money form some kids called Baudelaire,

But they always manage to get away, it simply isn't fair!

At first I was "Sir" Al Facoont, a very famous playwright,

But Violet screwed up my plans while still performing the play right.

They went to live with Monty, Stephano I became,

When I killed their uncle their lives would never be the same.

Their stupid Aunty Josie believed that I was Captain Sham,

My cleverly devised plan made the leeches eat her ham.

The orphans then worked at a mill, I took the name of Shirley,

When still I hadn't captured them things started looking surly.

The kids went to an Academy, Coach Genghis was in need,

I managed to grab some Quagmires, they're dangerous take heed!

As Gunther I managed to auction off the triplets inside a fish,

But to catch and hold the Baudelaires is beginning to look like a wish.

As a cop I'd made them all believe that I was really dead,

Then things all failed as usual when my plans were put ahead.

As Matthias I almost managed to get Violet's head removed,

But then the other half of the hospital still needed to be rooved.

So that's my true identity, a most amazing man,

I'm evil, rich and greedy so catch me if you can!