Author's note: Hey, this is my first fan fic - so don't laugh. It's probably really crap, but I'm bored and decided to write something. Only three more things to say: REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!

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CHAPTER ONE

"Hey Courtney."

"Hey Lily."

"Courtney?"

"Hmn…?"

"Who are you staring at?"

"No one."

"Courtney?"

"Hmn…?"

"Will you listen for a moment!?"

Courtney turned to face me, and I saw her face was, um… to put it nicely, I'd say ruined - with make-up.

"Why are you wearing so much make-up?"

"I'm not. I always wear this much."

I've heard this line a million times.

"Who is it this time?"

Silence.

"C'mon, spill."

I can always tell when Courtney has a new crush, which I might add is every week. No wonder she gets dumped or rejected so often, she tries so hard to… you know what I mean. I just don't have the heart to tell her that she's making herself look really desperate, especially since she has really bad taste.

Nevertheless, I try to be a good friend by asking who it is.

"Well?"

I follow her gaze.

Oh god. No…

"Potter…?"

"Of course it's not him."

Of course she's lying. Probably because she knows I think he's an idiot.

"Courtney, you have serious issues."

"I know… Do you think he'll go to the dance with me?" she mutters dreamily.

Great. Fabulous. Now we can spend the whole of lunchtime perving on Potter and hatching a plan to get him to go out with Courtney.

"Lily! Lily!"

"Uh huh."

"He's coming this way!" Courtney squeals.

"Hey," James says.

"Hey," I mutter back.

"Hi!" Courtney breathes.

"So, is it yes yet?" James asks. He's been asking me out since, well, since forever.

I ignore him and continue eating.

"Alright then. I'll see you round," he turns to leave.

"James," Courtney says.

"Yeah."

"Nice, um… robes," Courtney finishes lamely.

"Thanks," James frowns and walks away.

"That was hopeless, wasn't it?" Courtney sighs.

"Yep."

Lily's diary

So now Courtney is completely smitten with James. She's even memorized James' timetable, and tries to run into him between classes. Hopeless. My job as her love life manager is to talk about how great she is when James is anywhere near me. She's so obsessed with boys. It's like she'd die without them. Time to put plan 'Courtney Potter' into action.

~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey James."

"Lily."

"Um… I was wondering, would you like to-,"

"-go to the dance with me?"

"Very funny. No. What I was going to ask before you interrupted me was whether you would consider going to the dance with Courtney."

"Oh. You're kidding."

"No."

"You're really serious."

"Yeah."

"Does she know you're asking me this?"

"Nup." In other words, yes. It was her idea. But James doesn't need to know all the details.

"So, you're asking me out for her behind her back?"

"Yep. I think she likes you, and I figure she'll be grateful when she finds out I've asked you out for her," I lie.

James considers it for a moment.

"What's in it for me?"

"Um… a great girl?"

"Don't give me that."

"Ok. Maybe I might like you the slightest bit more if you do this for me."

"For you? Alright. Chuck in a few galleons and you have a deal."

What? Does he think I'm made of money?

"Two."

"Seven."

"No way! Three's my limit."

"Deal!"

"Deal!"

And then he just walks away, messing up his hair like usual.

Lily's diary

Now James is going to the dance with Lily, and I'm left without a date (not that I really want one). It's strange to have James not annoying me for once. Well, I have to go get Courtney ready for the dance.