**
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
"May his soul rest in peace."
Taking the nearest torch, Giles lit the funeral pyre.
The sky was just darkening as the fire came alive. Smoke billowed from Riley's final peace, wafting straight up into the atmosphere.
A small crowd of mourners had gathered to pay their last respects to the soldier; Giles had officiated the simple ceremony and final rites. All of Riley's fellow trainees were obligated to attend and Forrest and Graham had both held torches to the fire. Identical looks of sadness manifested themselves on each of their pale faces.
Giles said a silent prayer and left the funeral after an appropriate amount of time had passed. Yes, Riley was dead. Giles had seen many of his boys die over the past fifteen years. This one was special; this one involved something deeper than they all had imagined.
He let himself into his cottage, gently unlatching the door. He suddenly felt inexorably tired, as though all the life as been sucked out of him. A balloon released of all its air. He felt as weak and helpless as a small child crying out for its mother.
He looked heavily around his small living space and heaved a long sigh. He sat at his desk and mentally prepared himself to work. In the Watcher Academy, he had never had any trouble focusing on anything, academics or physical training. This was certainly not the case today.
He set himself to work; the large book still resting on his desk. When Elizabeth had brought it in, he had been completely puzzled. A day had done nothing to alleviate the confusion.
He placed his palm on the surface of the book, but his hand was immediately jolted back as if touching the surface burned him.
He tried again, but his hand was again shocked with the same less-than-friendly greeting.
Sighing, he went back to his notes. He didn't think his hand could take much more abuse.
He would just have to get Elizabeth to do it. Where was she? He thought he had seen a flash of her blond hair at the funeral, but he was too busy eulogizing Riley to pay much attention. The pair had alerted him to Riley's demise and Elizabeth had walked off, Liam trailing closely behind her.
He sighed again, hoping the girl would come around.
"She was right you know," Buffy said quietly, never taking her eyes off the fire. Fire was beautiful… unpredictable…painful. That fire burned the body. Not Riley. Riley's body. She found it strange how you could be living and breathing in one moment, but the next you were… an object. Not a life at all. Just a body.
Cold.
Dead.
Nothing more.
She pryed her eyes away from the fire to face her silent companion.
"She was right," she repeated, "This…All of this…"
"Don't you dare, Buffy," Liam's voice interrupted her musings, harsh and cutting. Angry. "Don't even think about it. This was not your fault."
"But-"
"Don't 'but-'! You know as well as I do that this was not your fault! This is the work of Darla, of vampires, of evil… not you. You are not them. You did not kill Riley. And there was nothing you could have done. Riley's dead, but you're not. You're still here. Be thankful for that," he spoke firmly, more firmly than she had ever heard him. His tone was always gentle with her, always genuinely sweet. The new tone was strange and disconcerting.
She stood silently, her gaze once again afixed on the fire. Cold eyes turned to her Angel, and she spoke calmly. Too calmly.
"I am. But it was my job to protect him. I failed."
"Don't do this, Buffy."
"Do what, Liam? Take responsibility for my life? You'd do best to follow my example," she spoke, eyes still lacking their usual spirit.
The barb hit home for Liam, but he pushed through pain it had caused. He knew Buffy too well, and the was no way he was going to let her shut herself down.
"Insult me all you want, Elizabeth, but that won't change anything. I take no offence. But what are you going to do now? Pretend everything's okay? It's not going to work, and you know it."
"I'm going back to the castle to dine with my father. To walk with William. To dance at balls in elaborate dresses and to sit on my throne and waste my life away," she said, bitterness and sarcasm lacing her words. She turned away from him, but he grabbed her arm.
She refused to face him. She refused to let him see the tears welling in her eyes. She again attempted to leave, but his hand held her wrist in a vice like grip that would have been painful if she had been paying attention to it.
"Don't," he said simply, his voice not softening. "One day, you're going to have to look in the mirror. If you leave now, you're never going to like the person you see."
A single tear rolled down her cheek, but she brushed it away so quickly he doubted that it was ever there at all.
"Let go of me," she said softly. "Now."
Liam figured that if Giles was right about Buffy having enhanced strength, Buffy would have already left him. And beaten him up for good measure. She wanted him to hold on. And he would.
"No," he said conversationally, as if they were siting at tea.
"Let go of me," she protesting struggling against his grip.
"No," he said, keeping his temper in control.
"Let go of me!" she yelled, struggling with renewed vigor. She was strong, and she was going to use it.
Liam held on for dear life as her short nails bit into the skin of his hand, breaking the skin and bringing tiny half moon pools of blood to the surface. He grabbed her arm more forcefully, and brought her around to him.
She was turned to him and would not let her look away. He pushed her towards the nearest wooden wall of a cottage, preshing her back into the wood. He stood towering before her, his face looming a hair's breath away from hers. She could hear his bretahing and she was sure he could feel her rapid heartbeat.
"No, Buffy. This is who you are. People die. People are going to get hurt. You do your best, and that is all anyone can ask of you. You're only human."
She was sure there were splinters digging into her back; she could feel them through the thin fabric of her plain dress.
"The Slayer," she said, disagreeing with him.
"Maybe so. But you're still human. You've been entrusted with a sacred calling. That doesn't change the person underneath."
He pressed her closer to the wall, and she did not object.
"She is going to pay for this," cursed Darla, her hand still pressing upon her sore chest. The knife wound certainly hadn't killed her, but that didn't mean it hadn't hurt. The wound was healing rapidly, but a residual soreness still remained, a constant reminder of where she had failed.
She hadn't planned on Liam being there. It was lock the Slayer in, get her to open the book, use her blood to reveal its contents, raise the Judge, and sit at his right hand, giddily watching the destruction. This kink in her plans was rather annoying.
No matter.
A messenger entered the chambers, looking quite apprehensive over the whole matter. He had heard stories… He steeled all of his resolve and approached Darla.
He bowed to the woman an handed her the scroll. A wax seal closed the message, and Darla looked on it with interest.
She waved away the messenger and he nearly sighed in relief.
"Take care of him," she called absently to her minions with a wave of her hand.
"Druscilla!" she yelled to her childe across the darkened room. The vampiress in question immediately made her way over to her Mistress, dancing to imaginary music, twirling and giggling along the way. She wore a dress of rich velvet and her hair sat high above her head, dark curls cascading into her face.
"Yes, Mummy," she giggled, as Darla rolled her eyes. Sometimes Druscilla could act a little over the top. She growled as she turned to her childe, the pain in her chest an unavoidable irritant.
"Lord William requests your presence," she said, eyes gleaming with mailicious intent.
"You will go tonight."
A long and terrified scream was heard outside.
**
END CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
A/N- I do apologize for the short length of this chapter, but school/computer/personal issues took hold. I also have midterms. Like tomorrow. And instead of studying, I'm writing this. This chapter was really hard to write in that I had to figure out a way to make Buffy relent to Angel without seeming un-Buffyish. I think I did a pretty good job. :)
Tell me how I did! REVIEW!
I sincerely thank anyone who reviewed last chapter:
Lady Moiraine- ::brings finger to lips:: Shhhhh!!!! Shhh!! Nope, no rocket launchers. I thank you for your praise, and the sweet B/A will be very soon! Wish me luck on my Spanish midterm—tomorrow. Espero que yo paso! (With grammar like that, I'm almost assuring myself a failing garde, right?)
AngelRose4- Hey! I hope you had a fun time camping. I was totally nature girl when I was younger, but now I prefer my nice warm bed to the cold and hard ground. Thank you for reviewing!
PunkyCowgirl- I thank you for everything, especially the beta.
Honey-B- Is this soon enough for you? :) Thank you.. I think "I Feel Fine" is probably the one fic I'm almost completely happy with.
TK- Acceptance never comes easy to Buffy- on the show or in my world. But it comes. Eventually. Thanks for reviewing.
Kendra- Thanks! I'm glad you like it. And that my suspense writing isn't seriously deficient.
Lori- Faithful reviewer, I thank you. Happy New Year to you as well!
Jess- Thank you! Killing Riley was a last minute put-it; I had originally planed something else, but I'm glad I did.
Never look back- Thank you and I hope your new year was fun!
Arabow- A sncere thank you for your review. I try really hard to keep this in character, and your review made me smile. So thanks!
Newbies! I love all you guys who left a nice review!
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Not telling- 1) I try. As soon as inspiration hits, I try to get it out. 2)- Angel hotness completely agreed, and B/A cuteness should come. Really soon. Thanks!
Kari- Soon. Thanks for reviewing!
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