Chapter 1
"We have a special treat on Morning In the Valley of the Sun, with us is a California transplant, Mr. Rick Simon of Simon & Simon Investigations. He's here to discuss holiday scams and how to avoid being a victim." the chirpy hostess said, showing Rick her teethy smile.
The older Simon plastered a sick grin on his face, damn it A.J., why did you have to get the flu and stick me with this gig. he thought. "Uh, good morning Beverly, thank you for having me on," he managed, trying not to look at her fake boobs.
Off camera, Laurie was dying with laughter inside; she knew exactly what Rick was doing. "Steve, I wish you could see this", she "told" her friend, and heard his faint amusement. She wanted so badly to turn her transmitter on and let Robbie hear his father, but the electronics in the device were liable to interfere with the microwave transmission of the station. Not to mention embarrass the heck out of her husband.
"Now, Rick, what is the number one scam that makes the rounds during the month of December." she purred, leaning forward. "Hm, well, the most popular is the fake ti..uh charity calls, the ones you always get during dinner", he replied, stumbling over his almost Freudian slip. "Then there's the old "collecting clothes and goods", that allows thieves to case a neighborhood and rip off your Christmas goodies. You see the truck, you think they're helping others but they're really helping themselves, and of course...."
"Fine, fine, Rick, that's very important information.", the hostess interrupted, causing an scowl to cross the older Simons' face. "But you also have a special person with you today, don't you?"
"Well, yes, my wife Laurie is here.", Rick smiled, turning and winking at her. She smiled back, then saw his expression change as Beverly continued, "As if everybody didn't know, Laurie is the famous author Laurel Light Scott, who met her husband when he was her bodyguard during the publication of her third book of stories. Tell me, Rick, how does it feel to be married to a celebrity, you must get an awful lot of business because of who you meet?" Seeing him turning red with anger, Laurie told him, "Count to ten, darling, she's not worth it." He glanced over at his wife, then she mouthed, "Please, let me do something?"
"Well, Beverly, most of the time we're just simple, average homebodies.", he started, then stopped as Laurie came from off camera, and flounced into his lap.
The imitation smile on the hostess's face froze as Rick said, "Where you been, baby?" and passionately kissed Laurie. Seeing the stares of the camera operators, she came up for air, then breathlessly replied, "getting more celebrity clients for you, dear!
After all, you were only a private investigator for ten years before we met."
"Aw, honey, I was nothing without you!", he added, hamming it up. Glancing at the knowing smirks on the floor crew's faces, Laurie decided to finish the charade.
"Actually, Beverly,", she simpered, swinging her legs, "You're entitled to two more pieces of special information." After Laurie got up, Rick took her arm and standing, said, "One, I've never gotten a client out of my wife's public status." "And two,", Laurie added, startling the surprised host. "My name is Laurie Light Simon, the name I answer to and the name I'm proud of! Have a happy holiday".
Taking his microphone off, Rick led her by the hand and walked off the set, as the stuttering Beverly choked out a "We'll be right back!"
Outside the studio, the floor manager blustered, "That was uncalled for, we were on live TV!" Laurie swung around on the guy, "So was her pot shots at my husband! You can just forget my ever appearing on any show at this station again!"
Suddenly she felt Rick's arms around her, "Let it go, sweetheart, it's not worth it!" Sighing, she looked up at him. "Yes, Rick, let's go home."
As they drove along the highway, Laurie put her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that was so bad, darling. I was looking forward to a fun time, instead of.."
"I know, darlin', I'm just glad A.J. didn't do the show. You know what the
problem is?" he teased as he put his arm around her, steering with one hand.
"What, Rick?" she returned, enjoying his closeness. "You don't have a thick enough skin to be a celebrity. You've never had the meanness, that's why it was so surprising for that, that." "Bimbo?" she laughed. "Darling, I heard your little slip of the tongue; I nearly knocked the cameraman over because I knew what you were thinking!"
'You did, did you?" he smiled. "Yes, especially when she leaned over, I thought she was going to fall out! She was trying to flirt with you, you know!" she giggled, blushing.
"Waste of effort, my sweetheart. Especially when all I have to do is look at you." Rick said, stroking her cheek. "Oh, if I ever needed a reminder of what I have in you, my love!' she told him, kissing his ear.
Just then a siren blared, and surprised, he pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, as Laurie frowned, saying, "We weren't going that fast, Rick!"
As they saw the sheriff's car pull in front of them, both Simons relaxed. "That stinker, he's not too big to be swatted, Laurie.", Rick groaned, seeing his son approach the car.
Focusing on Robbie's serious expression, they were both startled when he opened the driver's side door and hugged his father. "Pop, why didn't you answer your transmitter! We've been worried about you!"
"We're ok, son, what happened?", he replied, concerned. Laurie got out and came around the truck, embracing her boy, as he answered, "There was a bomb threat made after that morning program, they said you were both dead if Mom's book came out next week!"
"What, oh, no Robbie, that's awful! When did that happen? We've only been on the road about 15 minutes!", she explained. "About 10 minutes ago, I got a call from Captain Ron and when I couldn't raise you on the transmitter, I thought, well, I decided to catch up with you two!", he said.
"Robbie, it's probably just a crank, I'm sorry you were worried, son." Rick put a hand on his son's arm. "I just forgot to turn it on, that's all. I'll put it on now."
Letting out a deep breath, the tall deputy smiled, "That's all right, Pop, I'm just sorry I missed seeing you guys put that stupid woman in her place. You should have heard the Chief, you could hear him laughing all the way in the office!"
"Well, one thing I know, Rick, if they didn't know who the Simons were, they know now!" Laurie laughed.
Facing his wife two days later, Rick had cause to remember that threat.
"Laurie, I don't want you to go. If A.J. and I didn't have such a heavy case load this week, I'd travel with you to make sure you were safe. It's just not worth it!" Rick told his wife in exasperation. Pacing around their living room, he refused to look as her as she tried reach out to him.
"Darling, I have to, it's just to Chicago and Denver. I turned down going anywhere else. Please, I'll be all right, I'll only be by myself one night, then Robin's going to meet me for the last three days." she insisted, trying to calm him. "Oscar said himself that those threats were a hoax. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody at the publisher did it!"
"Sweetheart, I don't trust that book company, I still think someone there worked for Willowby. You have no real security, other than that glorified go-fer Ralph. Listen to me," he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.
"I love you, I don't want anything to happen to you, darlin'. Now, what if we tell your publisher that you'll do Denver but not Chicago; at least I wouldn't be so far away!" he said, pleading his case.
Laurie was about to tell Rick no until it hit her; he had always been the one to give way, when had she ever done the same for him? She would be alone in a city that held bad memories, no one to hold her or take care of her. At least Robin would be with her in Denver. Putting her arms around him, she rested her face against his.
"Forgive me, Rick. You're right, I don't have to go to Chicago, I hate traveling by myself. I'll call the promoters right now, if they don't like it they can whistle!" Laurie declared, then kissed him.
"Mrs. Simon, I think I love you!" he replied, kissing her all over her face. Lifting her up in his arms, Rick whispered, "thank you, my angel, I never want anything to hurt you!
At least Robin will be along, she won't take any guff!" he added, as she melted against him. "Darling, anything you want!" she sighed.
"Anything?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, then picking her up, carried her laughing to their room. Unfortunately the ringing of the phone interrupted him in mid- stride, and grumbling, he set her down and picked up the extension. "Simon residence" he said, then tersely answered, "one moment."
Looking at him, her heart sank as he informed her, "It's your publisher, they want to speak with you." Handing her the phone, he was surprised when she grabbed his hand and mouthed, "Stay, please."
Sitting on the edge of the sofa, she responded, "This is Mrs. Simon." Something in her tone lifted him, moving him to put his arms around her waist and support her both literally and figuratively.
She listened for a moment, then interrupted the caller. "No, Mr. McKenzie, I am not adding any more dates. As a matter of fact, I am canceling the additional Chicago days. I will start the tour in Denver on Saturday instead of Thursday, as originally planned. Why?" she took a deep breath, then smiled at her husband. "Because the security is nil for those dates, because I have no transportation or meal breaks arranged, and because I value my safety more then your need for publicity!"
He could tell there was silence on the other end, then some sort of acquiescence was apparent, as his wife smiled. Saying "I'm glad you do feel someone messed up, I would hate to go on Temple Brown's syndicated show tomorrow and announce why I'm not going to Chicago. Especially as the threat was also against my
husband, a lot of women don't take kindly to family being threatened."
Ending the call with muted pleasantries, Laurie hung up, then slid down into Rick's lap. "I didn't like that, darling, he was talking about lawyers and forcing me to attend Chicago." she worried. "Why that nasty little...", Rick stopped, as she kissed him. "I know, but you held me, my love, you supported me and I don't
think he's willing to call my bluff. I am going to tell Temple's audience how sorry I am I can't go to Chicago, maybe get us an invite to go when the
Cubs play!"
"Well, I still would like to face that weasel, but I'd rather finish what I started?" he reluctantly grinned, then stood up still holding Laurie in his arms. "Shall we?"
"What do you think?" she winked, then giggled as he strode to their room and entering, kicked the door closed.
"We have a special treat on Morning In the Valley of the Sun, with us is a California transplant, Mr. Rick Simon of Simon & Simon Investigations. He's here to discuss holiday scams and how to avoid being a victim." the chirpy hostess said, showing Rick her teethy smile.
The older Simon plastered a sick grin on his face, damn it A.J., why did you have to get the flu and stick me with this gig. he thought. "Uh, good morning Beverly, thank you for having me on," he managed, trying not to look at her fake boobs.
Off camera, Laurie was dying with laughter inside; she knew exactly what Rick was doing. "Steve, I wish you could see this", she "told" her friend, and heard his faint amusement. She wanted so badly to turn her transmitter on and let Robbie hear his father, but the electronics in the device were liable to interfere with the microwave transmission of the station. Not to mention embarrass the heck out of her husband.
"Now, Rick, what is the number one scam that makes the rounds during the month of December." she purred, leaning forward. "Hm, well, the most popular is the fake ti..uh charity calls, the ones you always get during dinner", he replied, stumbling over his almost Freudian slip. "Then there's the old "collecting clothes and goods", that allows thieves to case a neighborhood and rip off your Christmas goodies. You see the truck, you think they're helping others but they're really helping themselves, and of course...."
"Fine, fine, Rick, that's very important information.", the hostess interrupted, causing an scowl to cross the older Simons' face. "But you also have a special person with you today, don't you?"
"Well, yes, my wife Laurie is here.", Rick smiled, turning and winking at her. She smiled back, then saw his expression change as Beverly continued, "As if everybody didn't know, Laurie is the famous author Laurel Light Scott, who met her husband when he was her bodyguard during the publication of her third book of stories. Tell me, Rick, how does it feel to be married to a celebrity, you must get an awful lot of business because of who you meet?" Seeing him turning red with anger, Laurie told him, "Count to ten, darling, she's not worth it." He glanced over at his wife, then she mouthed, "Please, let me do something?"
"Well, Beverly, most of the time we're just simple, average homebodies.", he started, then stopped as Laurie came from off camera, and flounced into his lap.
The imitation smile on the hostess's face froze as Rick said, "Where you been, baby?" and passionately kissed Laurie. Seeing the stares of the camera operators, she came up for air, then breathlessly replied, "getting more celebrity clients for you, dear!
After all, you were only a private investigator for ten years before we met."
"Aw, honey, I was nothing without you!", he added, hamming it up. Glancing at the knowing smirks on the floor crew's faces, Laurie decided to finish the charade.
"Actually, Beverly,", she simpered, swinging her legs, "You're entitled to two more pieces of special information." After Laurie got up, Rick took her arm and standing, said, "One, I've never gotten a client out of my wife's public status." "And two,", Laurie added, startling the surprised host. "My name is Laurie Light Simon, the name I answer to and the name I'm proud of! Have a happy holiday".
Taking his microphone off, Rick led her by the hand and walked off the set, as the stuttering Beverly choked out a "We'll be right back!"
Outside the studio, the floor manager blustered, "That was uncalled for, we were on live TV!" Laurie swung around on the guy, "So was her pot shots at my husband! You can just forget my ever appearing on any show at this station again!"
Suddenly she felt Rick's arms around her, "Let it go, sweetheart, it's not worth it!" Sighing, she looked up at him. "Yes, Rick, let's go home."
As they drove along the highway, Laurie put her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that was so bad, darling. I was looking forward to a fun time, instead of.."
"I know, darlin', I'm just glad A.J. didn't do the show. You know what the
problem is?" he teased as he put his arm around her, steering with one hand.
"What, Rick?" she returned, enjoying his closeness. "You don't have a thick enough skin to be a celebrity. You've never had the meanness, that's why it was so surprising for that, that." "Bimbo?" she laughed. "Darling, I heard your little slip of the tongue; I nearly knocked the cameraman over because I knew what you were thinking!"
'You did, did you?" he smiled. "Yes, especially when she leaned over, I thought she was going to fall out! She was trying to flirt with you, you know!" she giggled, blushing.
"Waste of effort, my sweetheart. Especially when all I have to do is look at you." Rick said, stroking her cheek. "Oh, if I ever needed a reminder of what I have in you, my love!' she told him, kissing his ear.
Just then a siren blared, and surprised, he pulled over to the shoulder of the highway, as Laurie frowned, saying, "We weren't going that fast, Rick!"
As they saw the sheriff's car pull in front of them, both Simons relaxed. "That stinker, he's not too big to be swatted, Laurie.", Rick groaned, seeing his son approach the car.
Focusing on Robbie's serious expression, they were both startled when he opened the driver's side door and hugged his father. "Pop, why didn't you answer your transmitter! We've been worried about you!"
"We're ok, son, what happened?", he replied, concerned. Laurie got out and came around the truck, embracing her boy, as he answered, "There was a bomb threat made after that morning program, they said you were both dead if Mom's book came out next week!"
"What, oh, no Robbie, that's awful! When did that happen? We've only been on the road about 15 minutes!", she explained. "About 10 minutes ago, I got a call from Captain Ron and when I couldn't raise you on the transmitter, I thought, well, I decided to catch up with you two!", he said.
"Robbie, it's probably just a crank, I'm sorry you were worried, son." Rick put a hand on his son's arm. "I just forgot to turn it on, that's all. I'll put it on now."
Letting out a deep breath, the tall deputy smiled, "That's all right, Pop, I'm just sorry I missed seeing you guys put that stupid woman in her place. You should have heard the Chief, you could hear him laughing all the way in the office!"
"Well, one thing I know, Rick, if they didn't know who the Simons were, they know now!" Laurie laughed.
Facing his wife two days later, Rick had cause to remember that threat.
"Laurie, I don't want you to go. If A.J. and I didn't have such a heavy case load this week, I'd travel with you to make sure you were safe. It's just not worth it!" Rick told his wife in exasperation. Pacing around their living room, he refused to look as her as she tried reach out to him.
"Darling, I have to, it's just to Chicago and Denver. I turned down going anywhere else. Please, I'll be all right, I'll only be by myself one night, then Robin's going to meet me for the last three days." she insisted, trying to calm him. "Oscar said himself that those threats were a hoax. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody at the publisher did it!"
"Sweetheart, I don't trust that book company, I still think someone there worked for Willowby. You have no real security, other than that glorified go-fer Ralph. Listen to me," he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him.
"I love you, I don't want anything to happen to you, darlin'. Now, what if we tell your publisher that you'll do Denver but not Chicago; at least I wouldn't be so far away!" he said, pleading his case.
Laurie was about to tell Rick no until it hit her; he had always been the one to give way, when had she ever done the same for him? She would be alone in a city that held bad memories, no one to hold her or take care of her. At least Robin would be with her in Denver. Putting her arms around him, she rested her face against his.
"Forgive me, Rick. You're right, I don't have to go to Chicago, I hate traveling by myself. I'll call the promoters right now, if they don't like it they can whistle!" Laurie declared, then kissed him.
"Mrs. Simon, I think I love you!" he replied, kissing her all over her face. Lifting her up in his arms, Rick whispered, "thank you, my angel, I never want anything to hurt you!
At least Robin will be along, she won't take any guff!" he added, as she melted against him. "Darling, anything you want!" she sighed.
"Anything?" He quirked an eyebrow at her, then picking her up, carried her laughing to their room. Unfortunately the ringing of the phone interrupted him in mid- stride, and grumbling, he set her down and picked up the extension. "Simon residence" he said, then tersely answered, "one moment."
Looking at him, her heart sank as he informed her, "It's your publisher, they want to speak with you." Handing her the phone, he was surprised when she grabbed his hand and mouthed, "Stay, please."
Sitting on the edge of the sofa, she responded, "This is Mrs. Simon." Something in her tone lifted him, moving him to put his arms around her waist and support her both literally and figuratively.
She listened for a moment, then interrupted the caller. "No, Mr. McKenzie, I am not adding any more dates. As a matter of fact, I am canceling the additional Chicago days. I will start the tour in Denver on Saturday instead of Thursday, as originally planned. Why?" she took a deep breath, then smiled at her husband. "Because the security is nil for those dates, because I have no transportation or meal breaks arranged, and because I value my safety more then your need for publicity!"
He could tell there was silence on the other end, then some sort of acquiescence was apparent, as his wife smiled. Saying "I'm glad you do feel someone messed up, I would hate to go on Temple Brown's syndicated show tomorrow and announce why I'm not going to Chicago. Especially as the threat was also against my
husband, a lot of women don't take kindly to family being threatened."
Ending the call with muted pleasantries, Laurie hung up, then slid down into Rick's lap. "I didn't like that, darling, he was talking about lawyers and forcing me to attend Chicago." she worried. "Why that nasty little...", Rick stopped, as she kissed him. "I know, but you held me, my love, you supported me and I don't
think he's willing to call my bluff. I am going to tell Temple's audience how sorry I am I can't go to Chicago, maybe get us an invite to go when the
Cubs play!"
"Well, I still would like to face that weasel, but I'd rather finish what I started?" he reluctantly grinned, then stood up still holding Laurie in his arms. "Shall we?"
"What do you think?" she winked, then giggled as he strode to their room and entering, kicked the door closed.