"This is so dull," the blonde man shed his dark duster jacket, and flopped down on the couch. He looked over at the shorter man who was pouring himself a drink. "When will we get to play with something worthwhile?"
"Soon enough. The Buddhist only has one more day before his life is forfeit.
"But what if he finds replacements?" The blonde asked.
A knock sounded. A secret nervous knock.
"What?" the short man called.
The evil Sanzo opened the door looking a bit more worn and definitely a lot less sinister than when he accosted Hakkai. He got down on one knee. "I have done as you requested. Four replacements. All strong with different strengths. Being stripped of their weapons as we speak. And," he looked directly into the small man's eyes before casting his eyes down, "they are all beautiful, worthy playthings."
"Unlike your party," the blonde muttered, standing and moving to pour himself a drink.
The dark-haired man nodded. "Once we confirm what you say, then you and what remains of your party will be free." He turned to the blonde. "Happy now, Suzaku?" He moved and stood behind the demon, putting an arm around his waist.
"Maybe, we'll see."
"Hiei, theirs is more that might interest you. One is human but that is not the best part, the other three are demons who choose to side with humans." Sanzo groveled hoping his tormentors would be pleased. "Your least favorite kind of demon to suffer to live."
"Well, perhaps it was wise to keep you alive," A third voice joined in the taunting of the monk. From a doorway behind the evil Sanzo, a white-haired demon entered, golden eyes taking in everything.
"You're back, Yoko." Hiei said, smiling. Well, smirking less sinisterly, anyway.
"Yes," the tall demon threw himself down on a low cushioned lounge. He writhed around until he shed his mid-length plum jacket. "It's frightfully dull around here," He flicked his golden eyes to the monk. "You had better not be lying, High Priest Hatsu Sanzo…I hate being lied to." Yoko narrowed his eyes.
"It's not a lie, send a scout, they should be less than a mile outside the southern border," the priest stood timidly, "Now if you have no further need of me I'll be on my way. I have other enemies who could come for me at any moment. Enjoy your sick games and pray I never come across you when I'm at full power the outcome might be much different.' He headed for the door too frightened to look back.
"Remember, Priest," Yoko said to his back. "I can smell a monk from miles away. You can't run far or fast enough."
"Oh good god," Suzaku muttered, just before downing his drink. "You should teach your pet some manners, Hiei."
Hiei gave Yoko a look Suzaku couldn't read. "Don't think I haven't tried," the ninja-demon muttered, "Repeatedly."
Hatsu made a mental note of the unrest in Hiei's band of comrades. It could point out a sore spot he could use to get even with them all. He'd lost the one thing he could not bear to lose to their little game and wouldn't forgive or forget easily. He slipped out the door and headed in the direction he'd led Hakkai to take.
Clouds of dust from far off told him the villagers had already become aware of Sanzo's group and were on their way to welcome their new saviors. He'd better move faster.
"Onyx." He called out. A mid-sized black-scaled dragon appeared and settled beside him. He grabbed a tuft of fur and climbed on directing the dragon to where he needed to go.
Hakkai sat on the ground. Hakaryu chasing a cricket nearby. He stared at the objects laid out in front of him. They were most likely the most prized possessions of his friends. He was a sleaze of the worst kind. But, maybe they'd understand if they knew. If he could say how awful it would be to lose Sanzo to the imprisonment of the temple. But, he couldn't say. He wasn't brave enough.
Leaving Onyx a safe distance away, the evil Sanzo priest approached Hakkai dragging along several wooden boxes engraved with runes. "Wasn't as difficult as you thought I see."
"Circumstances were in your favor," Hakkai replied, not bothering to stand. He called Hakaryu to him, and nuzzled the dragon affectionately. "Hakaryu, I want you to go with this nice monk, and behave yourself for a little while. Okay?" Hakaryu chirped, nipped Hakkai's ear then flew up to perch on the monk's shoulder, singing happily. "Be kind to him. He's just a baby."
"Hmmm." Hatsu brought the first box over and opened it. It was layered in a soft silken reminiscent of a coffin. "If you would set Nyouibou in here, it's enchanted so when Goku calls it to him it will not be able to respond." He pointed to the next box. "We'll do the same for Goyjo's scythe. We can't be too careful."
"Right," Hakkai did as he asked, looking a bit ill as he did so.
The monk triple locked the two cases. "Good. Good." He pulled a gilded scroll holder out of his robe and threw it to Hakkai. "You know what to do."
Sanzo stirred in his sleep rolling towards Hakkai, his hand fell on the scripture. "It's only paper but you've made it so much more." He spoke to the phantoms of his dream memories. "There is a wisdom I can not understand in your ways, a wisdom I can believe in. You, I will choose to trust." Young Kouryou speaking to his master but the words could have been a message to Hakkai.
"Right," Hakkai gently lifted Sanzo's hand from the scripture. "You've never been good at seeing the true hearts of those around you, my friend." Hakkai whispered to the sleeping Sanzo. "There. Now go. They'll wake soon."
"Ah...ah...ah," the monk admonished. "One more thing." He pointed to the banishing gun. "I want a complete set."
Hakkai lifted the gun, barrel pointed at the monk. It'd be so easy…so very easy. "Here." He tossed the gun to the monk. "Happy now?"
Unconcerned, the monk dumped the bullets out all over the desert floor and stuffed the gun in his robes. Blowing sand quickly buried them. "Ecstatic. Good luck then you'll need it. The welcoming committee has already started out." He left dragging away the most sacred things Hakkai's companions owned, chuckling.
"Fabulous," Hakkai muttered. "Sanzo?" He poked the monk, who was nearly lying in his lap. "You awake?" He looked to the other two. "Goyjo? Goku?" Good, he thought, tearing his sash off, and popping one of the clasps on his shirt. Rubbing dirt on his clothes and face, and tearing a few holes in his pants and shirt Hakkai lay down next to Sanzo. "God, I sicken myself."
"Well they seem to be taken a nap but other than that I think they'll do." An older man with a bushy moustache was poking Hakkai with a stick. Several wagons of townsfolk waited for his assessment. "You there, wake up."
Hakkai cracked one green eye open. "Is that necessary?"
Goku was stirring. "Mmm…breakfast?"
"Which one of you young'uns is the leader?" The older man said congenially. "Ma! Ma! Get out here and meet these nice boys."
"Leader?" Goku looked about, slightly confused. "I guess that'd be Sanzo."
"Aw, fuck me. I woke up in Mayberry." Goyjo muttered, rubbing his head as he sat up.
"Which one of you is Sanyo then." Another wiry old man with a cane asked. "If it'd be that one there." Sanzo was still sleeping. "Then we'll have to settle for whichever of y'all's willin to make a tiny teeny decision."
"Being?" Hakkai slowly stood.
"Well you see we've got a mighty big problem, Mister. And we need to ask for your help." As the man talked, Ma approached the other three. "Aw, Pa, these'uns could use some of my corn bread and homemade strawberry jam."
"Land sakes Ma, I'm tryin to ask these boys a question. Now, which one of you is most indispensable to your group cause he can ride in the wagon while the rest of us walk."
"Sanzo isn't awake yet, let's put him in the wagon," Hakkai spoke up before Goyjo could crawl into the wagon.
"You heard him Ma, that one there, Sonya."
Ma proceeded to pull out a strange looking badge and pin it on Sanzo's sleeping form. Then the sweet little old woman pressed a button. The small syringe that plunged into him brought Sanzo around. "Sorry, honey. But you've been deputized."
"What the fuck!" Sanzo gasped grabbing his chest.
Ma slapped his face. "Such language."
Sanzo grabbed her arm. "Look, Granny, I don't know what farm you just walked in from but if I want to say fuck after someone stabs me, I will." He was in rare spirits. "Hakkai, did you use your chi energy to turn these demons into the tenants of a nursing home or am I just hallucinating?"
"Nope, the demons are gone. These folks just got here," Hakkai smiled, though he looked as though he were about to cry or scream.
"Sanzo!" Goku knelt in front of Sanzo. "Are you ok Sanzo? That looked like it really hurt…" He looked up at the woman. "What did you do to Sanzo?!"
"Here, sonny," she handed Goku a badge free of syringes. "You want this if you don't want your friend to die." Then she went and graciously gave one to Goyjo. Walking up to the remaining member, "Hakkai, is it? We'll you get this big shiny one because you're the new sheriff."
"Oh, I got it." Sanzo looked at Sheriff Hakkai. "You set up Goku's birthday present early and we've all been transported to Frontiertown." He stood up Goku in tow. "Very sneaky."
"Yeah, don't I wish." Hakkai muttered.
"What do you mean, if I don't want Sanzo to die?" Goku's eyes were huge, and looked ready to spill over with tears.
"Well, young man," the spindly geriatric began, 'when Bessie…Ma, here, gave him his badge…he was given a dose of a powerful poison. Round about suppertime he'll start feeling weak…forget things…drop things…"
Sanzo annoyed cut him off. "Apparently they've infected me with the same disease they all have…and being senile can be deadly."
"It's more serious than that if you don't ingest the antidote, you'll be dead before the rooster crows. The only time the one and only bottle of antidote is available is when the time lock breaks at midnight. Then you've got a fifteen-minute widow of opportunity to take it. There's just enough poison pumping in your veins that even with the antidote it will start to multiply and by nightfall become deadly again."
"So which one of you morons told them to prick me?" Sanzo looked from one to the other.
Goku wrapped both arms around Sanzo's waist, and glared angrily at Hakkai, then the people, then back to Hakkai. "We'll never be able to leave," he muttered, "Sanzo will be sick forever!"
"Perhaps, but you'll be keeping us and our young'uns safe from the evil demon outlaws, and if ever truly beat them we'll research a way to cure him." Pa said simply.
"You jabbed him without knowing the cure?" Goyjo asked in disbelief. "Good God, but you people are stupid."
"Sanzo." Goku half-sobbed.
The spindly man stepped forward, two little children behind him carrying items. "Now we don't want you to be defenseless so here, these belonged to our last set of lawmen. Sheriff, choose your weapon."