"CAN'T REACH THIS"
Flitwick's POV Filk to "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
I-I-I-I I am, so short,
Can't reach anything in Hogwarts.
The faculty says it,
they all agree...I'm a midget.
I'm short,
and that's no lie,
I'm so short it makes me cry.
People tell me, my dad's a dwarf,
and that's the reason why, uh, I'm so short.
Help me...can't reach this.
Get that book please...can't reach this.
Someone help me...can't reach this.
Please get my stool...can't reach this.
Lee Jordan, comes in,
And accidently kicks me in the chin.
It's hard to live like this,
I was 34 when I got my first kiss.
I need, a stool to reach,
the book on the shelf that I need to teach.
That Potter...helps me,
Sometimes he lets me stand on his knee.
That's cool as a green, hairy wart,
But it helps me 'cause, uh, I'm so short.
I've asked more than once...can't reach this.
I'll ask a teacher then...can't reach this.
Don't make me do it myself...can't reach this.
You're only making it worse...can't reach this.
Bein', this short,
Makes all the students laugh and snort.
They all, snicker,
That Parvati Patil, I'd like to kick 'er.
Professor Snape, thinks I,
Am so short I ought to die.
Can't stand, Malfoy,
"I stepped on you by accident" is not a good ploy.
And Dumbledore, knows that,
I am the only teacher that's phat.
I'm trying to...can't reach this.
I can only get so far...can't reach this.
Why are you just standing there?...can't reach this.
Hand that over...can't reach this.
Bring it down!
Stop! Charms time!
Tons of kids, pile in,
And I'm only tall enough to see their shins.
Or those Weasleys,
With all their red hair,
come in with their jokes and give a good scare.
Or that Granger, with her books,
about vampires and Lockhart's looks.
It's weird the way she reads,
I really wonder what she sees.
Help me up please...can't reach this.
Get that now...can't reach this.
Look, I really can't...can't reach this.
I'm asking nicely...can't reach this.
Stop! Charms time!
Can't reach this.
Can't reach this.
I can't reach this now I can't...Can't reach this.
Flitwick's POV Filk to "Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer
I-I-I-I I am, so short,
Can't reach anything in Hogwarts.
The faculty says it,
they all agree...I'm a midget.
I'm short,
and that's no lie,
I'm so short it makes me cry.
People tell me, my dad's a dwarf,
and that's the reason why, uh, I'm so short.
Help me...can't reach this.
Get that book please...can't reach this.
Someone help me...can't reach this.
Please get my stool...can't reach this.
Lee Jordan, comes in,
And accidently kicks me in the chin.
It's hard to live like this,
I was 34 when I got my first kiss.
I need, a stool to reach,
the book on the shelf that I need to teach.
That Potter...helps me,
Sometimes he lets me stand on his knee.
That's cool as a green, hairy wart,
But it helps me 'cause, uh, I'm so short.
I've asked more than once...can't reach this.
I'll ask a teacher then...can't reach this.
Don't make me do it myself...can't reach this.
You're only making it worse...can't reach this.
Bein', this short,
Makes all the students laugh and snort.
They all, snicker,
That Parvati Patil, I'd like to kick 'er.
Professor Snape, thinks I,
Am so short I ought to die.
Can't stand, Malfoy,
"I stepped on you by accident" is not a good ploy.
And Dumbledore, knows that,
I am the only teacher that's phat.
I'm trying to...can't reach this.
I can only get so far...can't reach this.
Why are you just standing there?...can't reach this.
Hand that over...can't reach this.
Bring it down!
Stop! Charms time!
Tons of kids, pile in,
And I'm only tall enough to see their shins.
Or those Weasleys,
With all their red hair,
come in with their jokes and give a good scare.
Or that Granger, with her books,
about vampires and Lockhart's looks.
It's weird the way she reads,
I really wonder what she sees.
Help me up please...can't reach this.
Get that now...can't reach this.
Look, I really can't...can't reach this.
I'm asking nicely...can't reach this.
Stop! Charms time!
Can't reach this.
Can't reach this.
I can't reach this now I can't...Can't reach this.