A/N: Ok guys, chapter 6 of More Tales of an Elf. I think the next one will probably be the last, and I doubt I'll make it a trilogy so ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!
Disclaimer: Surely you don't need me to type it out by now, do you? Oh alright, "I don't own Legolas or Aragorn, but I do own Louise the Sheep, Spade Guy and the unnamed wood.
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"Legolas, it's a sheep! What do you have to be scared of? Your winter clothes are probably knitted out of one of its relations!"
"You're really not helping, Aragorn!"
Louise the Sheep stamped angrily, "Is that true? Do you wear one of my family?!"
"No! No, he's lying!"
"I bet the wool's dyed green too. Do you elves have no variation? I bet even your outfits for special occasions are green!"
Me: Oh leave him alone.
"Awww, but-"
Me: No buts! Stop teasing the elf!
"I have a name, you know."
Me: I'm trying to stop the sheep picking on you Legolas!
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
"You mean I can't ever pick on him again?" Louise the Sheep stared disbelievingly at the sky. "That's not fair! You can't take away my entire purpose in life!"
Me: You do have a good point. Ok, you can tease him. Just not at vital plot moments, ok?
"Like we have any vital plot moments." Aragorn muttered, having lost all interest in the conversation.
"Well I'm off. Got a lot of baa-ing to do, know what I'm saying?" With that Louise the Sheep sped off into the unnamed wood like a jet-propelled sheep.
With her gone, Aragorn and Legolas could finally get down to more important tasks.
"Snap!"
"Not fair! You cheated!"
"Did not! It's not my fault if I happen to have superior sight and reflexes to a human!"
Me: Cut it out you two! Remember Spade Guy? You still haven't defeated him!
The man and the elf put away their cards (in a handy box) and pondered upon the problem of Spade Guy. At last Aragorn spoke up.
"Y'know, I bet all his power's in his spade. Why else would he be names Spade Guy?"
"Perhaps he isn't. The Fire Breathing Thing was actually called Ernie."
"Yeah, but he was named after his main strength, wasn't he? And when we got rid of that he became much nicer. I hear he's making quite a lot of money out of being a singing postman."
"Ok then. Guess we'd better go break his sword then."
"Yeah. Erm, do you remember what direction he's in?"
"No, Aragorn."
"Good job I remember then. Come on."
And so it was that Aragorn led them to where Spade Guy was just finishing his hole.
"Didn't I scare you away enough last time?"
"We weren't scared. We were merely retreating to form a plan of action."
Me: Then you tripped over the sheep and got really scared.
Aragorn, who really couldn't care less about Legolas' fear of Louise the Sheep, stepped up to the side of the hole.
"You know, that really is a very nice hole. I bet you're spade's top of the range."
"Well, it is pretty good."
"I can tell that from way over here. Could I possibly have a closer look?"
"Sure thing."
Spade Guy tossed Aragorn the spade. Aragorn immediately jumped out of reach, waving said spade and yelling "I've got your spade; I've got your spade!"
Legolas stared in amazement; he'd thought Aragorn was above all that. Even as Spade Guy began to climb out of his hole, Aragorn lifted the spade and broke it over his knee. Immediately Spade Guy began to shrink, and soon was back to his weedy looking self.
"Hey! Now what am I going to do to earn money?"
Seeing Aragorn look somewhat taken aback, Legolas decided to step in.
"Do you sing?"
"Err…sometimes, when nobody's listening…"
A look of understanding dawned on Aragorn's face. "Do you like letters?"
"Who doesn't!"
"Then I may have the perfect career for you, my friend!" Aragorn looked purposefully in the direction of the author "May I?"
By the magic of the fanfic, Aragorn's trusty phone appeared in his hand. He punched in a random number, and by sheer luck it was the one he needed.
"Hello, is that Ernie the singing postman? Hi Ernie, remember me? Ok then, remember Legolas? Yeah, the weird guy with the long blonde hair…anyway, what would you say to having a singing partner? Really? I have just the guy!" He put his hand over the mouth piece. "Hey, Spade Guy, what's your name?"
"Norman."
"His name's Norman…so he can have the job? Great! We're in that wood again, next to a really big hole. Come and find us."
Just a few seconds later Ernie the singing postman arrived on the scene, whistling a jaunty tune. He looked Norman up and down.
"Perfect. Here's your uniform. Hi Legolas, been using plenty of conditioner? Anyway, must be off, bye!"
Ernie grabbed Norman and sped off at the speed of a singing postman, leaving a laughing Aragorn and a glowering Legolas in his wake.
"That wasn't funny Aragorn."
"What wasn't funny?"
"The remark about my hair care habits."
"Hahahahahahaha!!!"
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A/N: Wow, that chapter ended up longer than I thought it would…yay me.
My review replies…
c-marabini – Thanks :D Glad you enjoyed it.
Dreamality – Thankfully computer is working perfectly again. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Tears Of Eternal Darkness – Legs gets that a lot, lol.
Aragorn replies…
c-marabini – Yes, Legolas' scared expression is absolutely hilarious. You really should see it sometime…
Dreamality – I'm sure I could handle even several sheep at once…have you no faith in me?
Legolas replies…
c-marabini – I'm fine thank you (despite she sheep's best efforts…) Hopefully Aragorn will give up his rather annoying habit of laughing at me soon.
Dreamality – I would love it if you would come visit sometime. And that sometime should be soon, as I have been promised only one more chapter to endure!
Spade Guy (Norman) reply…
c-marabini – I hope I was kind enough. I'm so glad to be out of the evil business, being a singing postman is much nicer.
Louise the sheep reply…
Dreamality - Haha, it's alright, I had it checked out by my sheep doctor, Mr Sheep Doctor, he's very... sheepish, any way, I'm fine; Legolas and his sheer blonde hair will not escape the clutches of Louise the Sheep! Wuahahahah!