I still don't own Hermione, Draco or any of their other friends in J. K. R.'s world.

WARNING: If you haven't noticed by now this story is still full of silliness and sexual innuendo . . . Oh, and perhaps a bit of cursing, magical and otherwise. It is all tongue-n-cheek meant in good fun.

!!!

AN:

While interacting with Draco, Hermione's thoughts will be in italics, like this: -Draco is a prat - and what she actually says will be in quotes like usual, "As you wish Master." No one has complained about being confused by this, so that will remain my way of doing it.

***

Ch.3. Spelling Errors ~

Hermione worked hard throughout the night to make sure her master was comfortable, but after a long evening stuck sick in bed Draco was rather eager to get up the next morning. Professor Snape had dropped by last night with an additional potion and said he would be able to resume normal activities in the morning, so that is exactly what he intended to do. Ony once again prepared him a soothing bath thick with vanilla scented bubbles in which he soaked languorously for nearly an hour. While he was soaking Hermione started on the mornings cleaning and then dashed to the kitchens to fetch Draco some tea and a light breakfast.

When he finally entered the room, wrapped in his dressing gown as usual, he was sweet-smelling and his pruned toes were hidden in velvet slippers. His hair once again fell in wet glistening curls. As he sat down and started on breakfast, Draco handed Hermione his comb.

"Ony, I was thinking today you could do the spell that goes along with the combing. It's to make my hair longer and thicker. It helps to get rid of the curl more permanently."

-It took me hours to straighten my hair for the Yule ball fourth year and now I learn there are combs and spells that do it easily? - "Of course Master."

"It's a simple spell, but it's very old. For some reason someone else must cast it, you can't perform it on yourself."

-So you've never cast it personally and you're going to trust me to do it for you? -

"You need to take long smooth combing movements and repeat: Densare-Durabilis-Exstructio. It will make my hair longer, thicker and not fall out."

- Vanity thy name is Draco -

So without argument, Hermione began the new ritual with long slow strokes of the comb repeating again and again in a quiet voice, "Densare-Durabilis-Exstructio." Draco appeared quite relaxed as he picked at the buttered croissants while sipping his tea. Suddenly Ony stopped and thought the words over carefully in her head. When Draco said them, it was fast and run together, she felt it may be wise to look at them individually.

"Ony, why did you stop?"

"Master – I don't think that is the right spell." She didn't want to correct her master, but she also was afraid of hurting him with an incorrect spell.

Draco gave an impatient huff. "What appears to be wrong with it?"

Hermione started again slowly, "I've heard Lavender using hair lengthening spells in the dorm and it didn't sound anything like this one, Master."

"Well this is a very old spell my father uses, I'm sure Lavender Brown wouldn't know it."

"Master, none of the words bear any relation to hair. I believe Densare is to thicken and Durabilis is for lasting, but I have no idea what Exstructio is, but I know it is nothing to do with hair."

At those words, Draco paled. "You must be wrong," he said with a confidence he didn't truly feel. "Those are the words my mother uses every night when combing my father's hair before bed . . ." He stopped abruptly and his pale cheeks grew very red as he noticed an oddly familiar sensation. He stole a quick glance at his lap and was suddenly thankful for the loose fit of the dressing gown. "You can go for now Ony. I'm going to take another shower, wash my hair again incase you're right."

"Wouldn't it be better if we figured out what the spell does first?" She asked, oblivious to his condition. ". . . and I don't understand how washing your hair will help against a spell?" -He's acting strange all of a sudden. I hope I didn't hurt him -

"No! I think I've got the gist of it. I'll take a shower and say a Finite Incantatum and every thing should be fine."

He all but pushed her out the door and hurried to the bathroom to take care of his little – big – growing problem. Somewhere in his mind he couldn't help but think that Christmas dinner with his parents was going to be extra embarrassing this year.

***

Severus Snape was concerned for his student. It certainly wasn't the first time it had happened, but he rarely let it show. Today he was battling with his conscience, and that battle led him back to the door of Hogwarts newest house-elf Ony, formerly known as Hermione Granger. She was currently under the ownership of one Draco Malfoy, and that fact alone was certainly enough to cause worry, without the added difficulties she had inadvertently brought upon herself the day before.

During yesterday's chocolate fiasco he had the opportunity to witness the two of them interacting with each other and to say he was unimpressed would be an understatement. What was the Headmaster thinking putting those two in such a potentially explosive situation? It was obvious to him at least that yesterday's act of kindness might very well be viewed as a betrayal by Draco and the punishment could be anything. It was certainly time for him to step in and check up on the two.

He knocked on Hermione's door and waited. After a moment Hermione peered cautiously through the gap as she opened the door. Her nose was red and her face was still wet with fresh tears. Snape pushed the door open and stepped past her into the small room. He spun quickly catching Hermione by surprise as he grabbed her by both arms.

"What did he do? Where are you hurt?" Snape asked, his voice sounding far from his habitual classroom tone. Meanwhile, he searched her face and arms for signs of abuse.

"Sir?" Hermione questioned Snape in a shaky voice.

"Draco, your master," he spat. "Did he hurt you?"

Hermione's eyes were round and wet as she shook her head adamantly. "No sir, Master Draco didn't . . ." but her words were cut off by her tears and gasping sobs.

"If Draco didn't hurt you then what on Earth has gotten you into this state?"

"I . . . I hurt my master," she choked on a sob, her hands anxiously twisting the edge of her sheet. "I did a spell and it was wrong. I didn't mean to . . . and then he wouldn't let me help."

"What spell? What did it do to him?" Snape asked becoming suddenly concerned for Draco.

"I - I don't know. I tried to help, but he turned away, refused to let me see what I had done. He just ordered me out . . . said I wasn't to return till he called . . ." -bad Ony, bad Ony -

Hermione was understandably distraught, thought Snape. For a house-elf to injure their master with magic is considered a very serious offence, even if done in error. He'd better go check on Draco.

"What if . . . it's permanent?" she whimpered. - I wasn't punished yesterday, but I'm sure I will be today -

"I'll go check on Draco. We'll get a handle on the problem. I'm sure everything will be just fine."

"Oh thank you Professor," she cried after him as he knocked and strode through the door to Draco's chambers.

***

Snape knocked sharply, then entered without waiting. There was no sign of Draco in the sitting room or bedroom so he proceeded on to the bathroom. Hearing running water and whimpering cries through the door he didn't hesitate and opened the door wide. His eyes followed a trail of discarded clothing through the steamy bathroom to the shower. He could just make out a pale figure standing under the steaming jets of water apparently oblivious to his presence. Draco appeared to be shaking and panting, grasping the wall with one hand for support. Suddenly he let out a hoarse groan and collapsed bonelessly to the floor. Snape raced over to the blond and cried out to him before realizing the nature of his affliction. He shook his head, laughing quietly he turned and left the room.

Draco found Professor Snape waiting for him in the sitting room. "I see you found the counter curse," Snape said with a chuckle and added, "singlehanded."

Draco hadn't ever seen his Head of House so jovial before. He merely blushed in response.

"You'd better be sure to apologize to your house-elf. She was in quite a state when I found her. She thinks she hurt you," the Professor explained smoothly. " Now would you like to explain what you were doing that may have caused her to believe she was responsible for your state?"

If possible, Draco's cheeks grew even redder. He stumbled over his words which was most uncharacteristic of the typically composed Malfoy. "I told Ony to perform a spell – I was led to believe it encouraged hair growth, I found it had an entirely different reaction."

"That was very careless. Who taught you the spell and why did you blindly trust their word on its effects?"

Draco took a deep breath, "I'd rather not say sir."

"I think you'd best," Snape answered with a scowl that clearly said he was not going to let this drop.

My father is going to kill me, he thought. "I heard it at home sir. When I was younger, I overheard my mother reciting it. When I asked them about it, my father claimed it was to help with his hair. I memorized it and didn't think to question him about it again."

Snape smiled inwardly knowing this year Christmas at the Malfoys' was going to be a bit more fun.

"Go check on Ony. Make sure she hasn't taken to beating her head against the walls."

"But - but sir . . ."

"Are you planning on avoiding her for the remainder of your holiday Mr. Malfoy?" Snape's voice was devoid of mirth.

"No sir, but what do I tell her? You know she'll ask."

"What you tell her doesn't matter. She'll go and look up the spell the first chance she gets, so she will know . . . besides telling her the truth could also prove amusing."

Draco rolled his eyes. He was dreading the consequences he knew this unfortunate incident would bestow upon him. He just hoped he could keep Professor Snape from leaking this story to his father.

"Sir, I had planned to finish my shopping in Hogsmeade yesterday after lunch . . . unfortunately I was otherwise occupied. Would I be allowed to go into town and finish today sir?"

Snape gave him a searching look before nodding his consent. "I don't want to hear that you caused any trouble and you are to return before dinner. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir, thank you." He sighed with relief realizing that he wouldn't have to spend his day taking turns avoiding Ony and blushing like a virgin.

***

After Professor Snape left, Draco decided it was time to go to Hogsmeade to finish his shopping. He hoped it would give him ample time to get rid of his near terminal blush and to distract Ony from the day's events with a book, of his choosing. He knew he would need to explain the spell to Ony, but he hoped it could wait till the embarrassment wasn't so fresh in his mind.

It took quite a bit of work to convince Ony it was safe for him to leave the castle. She mistook his blush for a sign of illness and was urging him to visit Madam Pomfrey. Frustrated he ordered her to clean and organize his closet after her normal cleaning. He brushed off her questions about the spell and gave her permission to read one book when she was done her work. He handed her the book of useful charms he decided he would permit her to read and left before she could say anymore.

***

Draco was glad to be out of the castle. Who knew having a house-elf could be so complicated? As he passed by the shops, he glanced into the windows at the colorful displays, but he already had a good idea what he was looking for.

Dervish and Banges was the perfect place to shop for his mother and father, when you didn't have access to Knockturn Alley. The shelves were filled with all sorts of useful magical gadgets. He found a silver looking-glass for his mother that was charmed to insist that all grey hairs were in fact youthful blond and for his father he purchased a Precognitive Pocket-watch. Not only would it tell you when you were going to arrive late, but when it would be most beneficial for you to do so.

Once his parents' gifts had been purchased, Draco decided to take a look around the bookstore. He enjoyed walking among the dusty tomes looking for rare volumes for his collection. He spied an interesting title, but was promptly distracted by another: Hex Your Way to a Better Love Life by Seymour Pleasure. He blinked his eyes several times to be sure he wasn't seeing things, but then he saw another title and his blush returned in earnest, The Wizards Guide to a Happy Wand by A. Biggerstaff followed by How to Satisfy Your Wizard by Amanda Rider. He looked around to make sure he wasn't being watched before picking up a large volume titled 101 Bedroom Spells for Lovers by Ima Cummings.

Draco casually flipped through the yellowed pages trying to look disinterested, but the moving illustrations were like a spell in themselves. He wondered if his father found the spell in a book such as this or if it was truly an ancient spell passed down through generations.

After deciding on his final purchases he returned to Hogwarts. He was getting hungry and it was about time to check on his house-elf.

***

tbc . . .

Many thanks to all who reviewed and my apologies to those of you who thought a spanking would be a good idea. Please review . . .

Please forgive me for butchering Latin:

Densare- to thicken

Durabilis- lasting

Exstructio- erection