What It Feels Like For a Tomboy
By: Vash-chan
Rating: G
Summary: Sailormoon x Ranma Nibunoichi one-shot. Makoto offers a sympathetic shoulder for a girl who is sobbing over taunts on her tomboyish traits.
Disclaimer: Takahashi Rumiko owns Tendou Akane. Takeuchi Naoko owns Kino Makoto.
AN: This is my first attempt on writing about Akane so constructive criticism regarding her portrayal (and the Ranma Nibunoichi series) is welcome. I am also open to comments on Makoto's characterisation.
Otou-san = father
****
Kino Makoto had grown to dislike the rain more and more these days. Wet weather was always a bad reminder of the past. Or more specifically the day Sempai left her for good. She couldn't help the negative emotion each time she stepped outside and let the raindrops fall from her head then trickle down her cheeks. Tragic moments were never easy to forget. They weren't like faint traces of sand that would disappear the moment they seeped through the tiny gaps of your fingers. When dreadful memories stuck in your mind, they would really cling inside and refuse to leave.
No matter how hard Makoto tried she could never forget that fateful day, even if her life had begun to improve these past months. All her friends assumed she was fine but when it rained or when she was in a sorrowful mood back at home, Makoto would sometimes lose her 'normal' face and just let the inner pain out. There were some things that ought to be kept a secret from your friends, regardless of how much you trusted them. She had told everyone she wasn't thinking of Sempai so much. But unbeknownst to them, Makoto still reminisced over the good times she had with him. While there were some terrible memories that were hard to forget, there were also some 'special' things that were too precious to be thrown away. Sempai was one of those 'special' things, of course.
"I have got to find that ice-rink," she mumbled, doing her best to focus on something more enlightening than losing Sempai in the rain many years ago. "Hopefully the place hasn't closed yet. I need to sign up as soon as possible." Makoto was one of twenty successful applicants chosen to participate in an ice-skating tournament and was told by the local ice-rink back in Juuban that the competition would be taking place somewhere away from home. This was how she ended up here.
It was a shame how such an important day in her life had to involve a lot of rain. It made her journey to this other ice rink a lot harder and the chances of getting lost in this town much higher. The map that Makoto had brought with her was completely wet and torn from absorbing too many raindrops. To make things worse, there was hardly anyone around to ask for directions since nearly every single person in this town had decided to stay indoors to avoid being soaked from head to toe.
Besides the sound of the large hailstones above her umbrella, Makoto felt as though she was alone in a ghost town. She hadn't seen one figure walk past her in the last half an hour. Then again maybe there were people who DID walk past her but she didn't know it because Makoto was too busy trying to find her way round this town without being affected by the aggressive weather.
"The map did say the ice rink was around here somewhere," she vaguely recalled from the top of her head as she struggled to look from left to right, fighting the gust that was causing her umbrella to turn inside out.
While her eyes desperately searched for any road signs that would assist her in finding her destination, Makoto's feet very nearly met a large puddle, but her senses reawakened in time, allowing her to leap across in one swift motion and avoid wet contact from below. Well at least that moment was enough to inform her she was still awake, even in heavy rain. Makoto lifted her umbrella away from her face so she could get a better glimpse of the streets around her, hoping that her wishful thinking would come true any time soon. Was there a large sign that had the words ice-rink somewhere?
Makoto didn't know how long she could go on like this. Today's rainy weather was making her exhausted. Even holding the umbrella for an hour was causing some ache in her arms. Finding the ice rink would have to wait. She needed to find shelter and give her arms a rest until the rain died down. But where could she go? She couldn't just walk to someone's front door and abruptly ask if she could stay in front of the fireplace until the sun showed its bright face in the sky. People would think she was a strange girl and Makoto didn't want to have to worsen her reputation as a freak. Hadn't she dealt with enough rumours at school?
Makoto spotted an empty bus stop and knew that was the perfect place to act as her temporary shelter. As she ran towards the stop, Makoto suddenly thought of something that would help her out. When the next bus arrived, she would ask the driver where to find the ice rink. That sounded like a good enough idea, right? For a brief moment, the rain's hostility didn't seem to bother her while she stood still and absorbed the sense of hope. Perhaps she WOULD get to the ice rink in time to sign her name and confirm she was in this tournament.
However the intention of walking to the bus stop was halted yet by a second intermission, only this time it wasn't an unexpected thought that had suddenly occurred in her mind. It was coming from the sight of a person, who was nearby, sitting on another bench that was further away from the bus stop. At last! I can ask a person for directions! Makoto thought happily and instead decided to go ask this girl where she could find the ice-rink rather than wait for the bus. Knowing the latter, it was going to be packed inside.
On the one hand when Makoto was close to the indigo haired girl at the bench, she started to have second thoughts on getting her attention. The girl seemed to be upset about something. Makoto could tell by the way her fingers constantly wiped her eyes. And what was more worrying was seeing this indigo haired girl let herself get soaked from the pouring rain and not use an umbrella to protect herself. Even though it was none of her business, Makoto couldn't help showing some concern for this young girl, whoever she was.
Back at home, Makoto often noticed, especially on a wet day, how depressed people would stand in the middle of the rain and let their heads and clothes get drenched. Judging by the sad look on her face and the unawareness of how very soaked she was on the outside, this girl was most likely to be one of these unhappy individuals. The appearance somehow reminded Makoto of how she looked after Sempai's departure Hey, why are you thinking about 'that day' again?. Well you can't always prevent déjà vu from happening now, can you? A little voice replied. Makoto felt a pang of sympathy strike her insides and the next thing she knew, she had reached into her coat pocket to bring out a pack of tissues and presented them to the crying girl.
****
Tendou Akane was uncertain on how much more her body could take. Crying non stop was making her tired inside and out and she had no idea how long she had been in this state. Feeling the rain completely soak her from head to toe didn't seem to bother her at all. She just wanted to make herself better by letting all the pain out. And doing this in private seemed to make things more comfortable. Nobody she knew would see her cry and laugh at her. Not in this kind of weather. Everyone was too busy trying to keep themselves dry whilst she was doing the absolute opposite, which was to let herself be drenched as much as possible.
All of a sudden, her senses noticed a change in the weather and, after removing her hands away from her face, lifted her head to see what was going on. Had it stopped raining? Was the sun about to come out? However when she got a better look at her surroundings, she could see that nothing had changed. The hailstones were still falling to the ground...although they weren't landing anywhere near her head or feet. In fact prior to meeting the ground, they were landing on top of a green umbrella.
Akane's brown eyes turned to the person holding the umbrella and straightened her back in surprise after spotting a very tall girl look down at her with a very sympathetic façade. "S-Sorry I didn't see you there..." She rubbed her face to make sure it was dry. Perhaps her assumption on not being noticed by anyone in the rain was wrong after all.
"I think you need this," the tall, mysterious girl presented a clean piece of tissue in her hands. Akane reached out for the tissue but suddenly pulled back in hesitation. Who was this girl? Was she a classmate that she never spotted in school? "Hey don't be embarrassed. Everyone needs to cry at some point, don't they?"
Feeling a brief sense of satisfaction by the girl's appropriate comment, Akane took the tissue and murmured a timid thank you after blowing her nose loudly. She had seldom encountered anyone with green yet gentle eyes. The only time she saw eyes like that was with her oldest sister Kasumi. Then again this girl reminded her of Kasumi Onee-chan a great deal. She had the same rich brown hair and gentle eyes, however the notable differences that made her different to Kasumi, aside from the eye colour, was that her hair had wavier strands and was tied up in a high ponytail. Akane also noticed that she was unmistakably feminine on the outside, unlike herself.
"Look I understand you're upset with something but you're going to catch a cold if you stay out here in the rain," the girl said. "Do you live near here?"
Akane nodded sheepishly. "Did Otou-san send you to fetch me?"
The enigmatic girl shook her head. "I don't know who you are or who your father is." She then grinned goofily and said, "You just caught my attention by sitting alone on this bench, that's all."
"Oh...I see." Akane couldn't help feeling disappointed that someone had seen her in tears. When one cried in public, they received various reactions from passers-by. People either pitied the person or just didn't have the time to care about what the problem was and walked away. With this female brunette, she was definitely part of the former. There was no doubt about it. On the one hand, despite the frustration of looking ridiculous with a puffy face in front of an outside person, Akane in some way felt relieved that it was an unknown person who was looking at her. When one spoke to strangers, they never judged you as easily as a friend or relative did. However another curious thought struck Akane. Why did this girl show some sympathy, especially since she was a complete stranger?
She seemed to be able to read the puzzlement on Akane's face and went on to say, "I have to admit, seeing you in tears reminded me of myself when I was upset on a rainy day."
Akane couldn't help growing more stunned with this girl. "Who are you?"
"Why, I'm a normal girl like yourself of course," the tall girl joked. "My name is Makoto."
"Uh Makoto-san, if you don't mind me asking, are you...AH!" Akane's voice was cut off by the abrupt arrival of a gust in the middle of the rain. The two girls fought hard to keep themselves warm and retain their balance, although Makoto appeared to be struggling much more, as her umbrella was quickly turning inside out, allowing the rain to pour down on her and Akane.
"We should get you home before the rain and wind worsen," Makoto said as she straightened her umbrella back in its original place.
"I can't," Akane replied. "Not yet." Her voice was almost starting to sound like a disobedient child. Makoto's head turned back to look at the indigo haired girl sitting below her. Somehow a part of Makoto was expecting Akane to refuse to get up from the bench and tag along with her like a sensible person. But it wasn't going to do any good to just stay in the same place for as long as possible. Surely this girl didn't intend to remain in that position until she died. "I'm sorry, I just...can't..." She started to sob uncontrollably again, just like she had been doing this past hour.
Makoto couldn't begin to imagine how many tears had been falling from Akane's eyes. An invisible voice was indicating to her that this girl's problem was very serious. It was so serious that it was eating her insides and causing her to cry heavily. Makoto crouched down slightly so that she was looking upward into Akane's tearful façade. "Are your family giving you a hard time or something?"
"No...uh I mean yes...I mean..." Akane found herself stammering constantly, unsure on how to describe what her problem was.
Though she barely knew who this girl was, Makoto could see it wasn't going to be easy to persuade her to go home any time soon. Not when she was in bad shape. Perhaps Makoto could find out the general gist behind this young lady's tears. "Hey what's your name?"
"M-my name is A-Akane," Akane said.
Makoto was relieved that she was able to get a straight answer out of the unhappy girl, even though she was evidently in tears. "Let's go talk about this problem of yours someplace else. What do you say?"
"We're not going home, are we?" There was a hint of apprehension in Akane's voice. "I told you, I can't face my sisters and Otou-san yet."
"Don't worry that's not what I meant." Makoto pointed to the bus stop she had walked past. "That could save us from being soaked by the rain, don't you think?" She nudged her head for Akane to follow her and, when the latter finally stood up from the bench, adjusted her umbrella so it was protecting both their heads.
Akane had no idea why she was even listening to someone she was hardly familiar with. Here she was, sharing the umbrella with a very kind stranger who somehow reminded her of her oldest sister. Was it Makoto's sympathy that made Akane feel comfortable and straightaway trust her when she said they ought to talk? After five minutes of walking through the violent wind, the two girls arrived at the bus stop and seated themselves on the empty bench. Akane had to admit, she had never felt so refreshed. She had grown accustomed to the rain soaking her clothes and it felt rather different being in a completely dry place (other than her very own home).
"So..." Makoto began. "What is it that's made you really upset, Akane? Is it due to a family dispute, pressure from schoolwork, bullying...?"
"Makoto-san, do you know what it's like to be called names, like a violent tomboy?" Akane suddenly asked. Makoto blinked in surprise at the sound of the question, in particular the last two words. Was this Akane girl a tomboy?! Makoto never realised it at first. She merely assumed she was a normal young lady who had a sweet look that was bound to attract the male population. But to describe herself as a tomboy...now things were starting to get interesting. Makoto definitely knew what it felt like to be called various names. The memory of her first day at Juuban High was the living proof. She could hear people whisper behind her back, calling her a Karate girl and other things that described her rough side.
"Yes," Makoto replied, remembering the rumours at school oh too well, "I know what it's like to be insulted...and to be called a violent tomboy." She put up a brave smile to show she empathised with Akane, whose face had become white with shock.
"You...you don't look like a tomboy to me," Akane stated. Was a feminine tomboy even in existence? That sounded impossible. You had tomboys and ordinary girls in this world and that was it.
"I could say the same for you too," Makoto said. "At first I never thought you were a tomboy, Akane." It seemed as though the two girls had fallen into the trap of being fooled by a person's looks. Why else were they both in awe with one another's discoveries of not being completely ladylike?
"But do you know what it's like to be called a violent and 'uncute' tomboy by a boy you are meant to...love?" Akane gulped nervously at the last word and bit her lip hard. "It's started to hurt so much more these days. Every time he insults me I lose my temper and go crazy when I don't mean to." She buried her face into her hands, murmuring what sounded like 'Ranma,' which Makoto assumed was the name of this boy who was upsetting Akane. Poor girl Makoto thought as she watched her ponder in a sad motion. No wonder she was called 'uncute' and violent. The insults from a person who was meant to be special to her had triggered her aggressive side.
"There are also other girls who are after Ranma," Akane went on. "T-they're prettier, stronger and more...feminine." Akane's face had moulded into an expression that clearly represented defeat and rejection.
"I think that's one big downside to being a tomboy, isn't it?" Makoto pointed out. "There are girls who are seemingly better when it comes to showing their feminine side." Her green eyes looked straight ahead to watch the raindrops fall from the roof of the bus stop. "It broke my heart when the boy I loved left me for someone else, a more feminine girl..."
Akane thought she was seeing a reflection of herself when she saw Makoto's gentle face grow into a sadder image. What if Ranma did the same thing to her, find another girl who was supposedly a more suitable wife? She would be in the same position as Makoto, wouldn't she? How could she be cursed to live in the life of a tomboy? Why couldn't she be like Kasumi Onee-chan, who was gentle, motherly and an ideal figure to act as a wife?
"Anyway tell me something. What's this Ranma guy like?" Makoto asked.
"R-Ranma?!" Akane spluttered on her fiance's name. "Well he uh..."
"Even though he calls you a violent and 'uncute' tomboy, he IS someone you like, right?" Makoto was doing her best to make up a scenario that would improve her understanding. "Or am I wrong on all that?"
"Well..." Preventing a blush from forming, Akane focused hard on pondering over the aspects Makoto had said a minute ago. Come to think of it, she was certain there were *some* good things to say about Ranma, weren't there? After briefly explaining about her engagement to Ranma, Akane went on to recap the many times she had helped him get away from the other fiancées when he was in need of help and in return when he did the same thing by rescuing her from various sorts of danger. So in general they had helped each other at some point in their lives, despite the fact they often quarrelled in the Tendou dojo.
"I notice you hesitate a lot, Akane," Makoto said. "If you're hesitating then it means you have feelings for Ranma. I react like that whenever my friends ask me about my past with my first love." She paused to see whether she was boring Akane with her unqualified counselling. But it seemed that Akane WAS listening to every word she was saying, thus Makoto moved on. "From what you have just told me about him helping you and vice versa I think he's following the role of a protective male, especially since he is your fiancé."
Her eyes lit up as though a new invention had come to mind. She turned to her bag to open it and took out what looked like a lunch box. "I forgot I brought some of my homemade blueberry cakes with me," Makoto said, grinning lightly as she removed the lid of her tiny lunch box. "Try one."
"Did you make these?" Akane exclaimed. Makoto nodded and smiled encouragingly, urging the girl to have a bite. Akane picked up the cake that was nearest to her, observed it for a few seconds and took a small nibble. Her brown eyes lit up the moment she chewed. This food was like Kasumi Onee-chan's cooking. It was...delicious! Akane swallowed her first bite and went on munching the rest of the blueberry cake. She ended up finishing the food in a matter of seconds. Was she very hungry or was it down to the fact that this cuisine was delightful enough to make her eat quickly? When she wiped her mouth clean from leftover crumbs Akane asked Makoto why she was given food.
"I have this routine of giving my homemade food to a friend who is upset," Makoto explained. "Once they eat it they often feel less depressed about their problems." She then laughed embarrassingly. "Sorry that sounded weird, didn't it?"
"No I think what you do is nice," Akane smiled for a moment but then resumed to her previous façade when she moved her eyes to her lap. "You know, I wish I could cook really well like you and Kasumi Onee-chan."
"It takes a lot of practise," Makoto said. "It's like learning the movements of a new Kata if you think about it."
"Uh...I guess so," Akane agreed. "Ne, Makoto-san, do you think is it wrong to be a tomboy?" Makoto raised her eyebrows with even more surprise than before. Akane is asking complicated questions, isn't she? Makoto thought. Although the discussion she had been having over the last few minutes wasn't based on psychology or human science, difficult queries were expected in this simple girl to girl conversation. And this question on whether it was wrong to be a tomboy was a good example. Makoto offered another blueberry cake to Akane (who willingly accepted it) and decided to use this time of silence to think of an answer. Minutes later, she gave her thoughts.
"If I wasn't a tomboy I wouldn't be strong enough to help my friends if they were in trouble," Makoto remarked. "Then again it is also good to be feminine as well. Not VERY girlie of course but maybe enough to convince other people you are a girl."
"I guess if I wasn't a tomboy then I wouldn't be able to hit Ranma or other boys who annoy me," Akane realised. "But I agree with what you said. It would be great to be a tomboy and show SOME feminine traits."
Maybe I'd be less scary around boys if I was more feminine on the outside Makoto thought. She couldn't help grinning over the unusual imagination she was indulging herself through and scolded her mind to be serious. Casting her eyes to the petite girl sitting next to her, she could see that Akane had become a lot more cheerful than the first time she spotted her by the bench. To make things more enlightening, the wind had died down and the sun was hiding behind the clouds, ready to show itself to the world.
"So, Akane," Makoto said, signalling the conclusion of their conversation, "do you feel any better now?"
Akane gave her a grateful smile and nodded. "You know you remind me of my oldest sister a lot."
Makoto wasn't sure how to take the comparison and simply smiled back. She was about to get up and leave when something she had been meaning to ask from the very beginning finally surfaced. "Before I forget to ask, do you know where the nearest ice-rink is?"
"Uh...yeah I do," Akane said, taken back by the change of subject. "You can get on the local bus and it will take you there directly. It's not very far from here."
"Well that's good news for someone who's practically a tourist in this town," Makoto smirked.
"Why do you need to find the ice-rink anyway?"
"Oh I'm signing up for an ice-skating competition." Makoto had no idea how many times she was making Akane jump with her surprise comments. It was almost amusing to see how large her eyes bulged out. However Akane did have a good reason for reacting in such a way. The news about there being an all-Japan ice-skating tournament was all over town. Every skating fan seemed to be excited about it. Akane couldn't help believing how bizarre it was to be talking to someone who was going to compete in a large event. But then again, when she looked at Makoto's profile for a second time, she understood much more on how this tall brown haired girl managed to get the feminine look. She was an amateur figure skater who had acquired a sense of grace from being on the ice-rink.
A small white bus halted by the stop and a group of kids scampered out of the door, screaming when their heads felt the raindrops strike. While she waited to board the bus, Makoto turned back to Akane and asked, "Are you going home now, Akane?"
"Yeah, I will." Akane felt something being passed to her hand and looked down to find Makoto's closed umbrella.
"The rain is still heavy," Makoto said. "Keep this open while you make your way back home."
"A-are you sure you don't mind?"
Makoto gave her a 'don't worry' gesture. She had walked through the rain numerous times without an umbrella and could tolerate the cold, wet weather. "I'll pick it up once I've signed my name up for the competition. Where is your house anyway?"
"Take the first street on the left and go straight down until you spot a really huge sign that says Tendou Dojo on your right. You can't miss it."
"I'll try to remember that," Makoto said prior to boarding the bus.
"Thanks again for the talk, Makoto-san," Akane waved happily. Makoto pivoted over her shoulder to say one last comment, "Call me Mako-chan," she insisted. "We're friends now, Akane." After waving back to the girl with navy hair, the door automatically shut behind her and the bus drove off briskly through the heavy rain.
Akane let out a peaceful sigh when she was left alone at the bus stop. She felt as though she had spoken to a guardian angel who had given her some worthwhile advice on what to do in life. But what made the so-called counselling session more meaningful was that Makoto was able to relate to Akane's predicament as a tomboy. Breaking free from her happy thoughts, Akane decided it was time to go home. She opened the umbrella and strolled into the rain, already looking forward to the next meeting with Makoto.
END