Disclaimer: Never was and never will be mine, no matter how much I dream
Pairings: will be Kai/Rei maybe Kai/Rei/Yuri some Max/Tyson
(Diary entry)
Rei:
It's strange how during the course of one minute your whole perspective on life can be changed. The more I think about it, the more I realise that 'strange' is a totally inappropriate word to be using. What I'm looking for is damn right scary, numb, terrifying and well, Just numb. Part of my brain is telling me how stupid I'm being, I mean I didn't even know the kid. The first time I saw him was on the television three hours ago on a home made movie his parents must off taken of him but after that one minute everything was different. His name was Uriko Blake. He was sixteen just like me and he was dead. Turned out Uriko had committed suicide. He was found yesterday morning by a dog walker but I don't want to have to go into details right now. It's just too raw.
You probably think I'm being overdramatic. I know that I've never seen the kid before in my whole life, that's why its so stupid but it still hurts.
I hurt for his family, for his friends and then for people like me who have been effected by his death. You probably think I'm being selfish but if I was this sad over a kid I didn't even know existed untill three hours ago and still don't even know now, then how terrible must the people who did know him feel?
I was sitting on the sofa which I was sharing with Tyson and Kai when I found out. I was watching the news and Tyson and Kai, well they were fighting over my shoulders. They were fighting while everything I had once believed had been shattered.
An hour later I was still there. Tyson and Kai had left ages ago. Tyson had mentioned food and Kai had gone off muttering about a certain blader and poisonous mushrooms while i had just sat there contemplating life.
It scared me how someone so young could be so unhappy that they had taken their life. It scared me how the kid had appeared so happy on the home-movie which had been shown on the news but deep down hidden beneath that smile he was really miserable. It scared me how little I knew about my team mates and in that moment, while I was sitting alone on the crimson coloured sofa, crimson like Kai's eyes, I decided that I would get to know the 'real' Tyson, Max, Kenny and Kai. I would find out what they liked, disliked and if they had ever just done something just plain stupid for the adrenaline rush you get later on and while I did that I would live my life. Uriko Blake had died so young and I am determined to make up for it. I will do all those things Uriko never got a chance to do. After living in the secluded Chinese village for so long I realised that I hadn't done anything with my life. I have never gotten so drunk that I couldn't remember what I did the night before, I had never eaten prawns, ick, and I had never been to a proper and I mean proper nightclub. Hell, I've never even been kissed. All this was going to change. From this point I was living for two people, two people who hadn't yet seen what the world had to offer and hopefully through my eyes Uriko would experience it. I was going to be the new Rei and I would do and see everything.
Rei.
After reading the last entry I had made into that diary I felt guilty. A guilt I had never experienced in the whole of my seventeen years , imagine how Rose must have felt when she took the last plank of wood to keep from freezing when the titanic had sunk and then realised that she had inadvertently caused the death of someone as cute as Leonardo Dicaprio. Now times that by a trillion. I had failed myself and I had failed Uriko. I sunk onto my bed with a sigh and let the diary slip out of my hands onto the cold apartment floor. I suddenly realised that nothing had changed. What have I been doing the last year I began asking myself and no matter how hard I tried to come up with at least something to compensate for the passing year all I got was a big blank. If this was an essay I'd get a U. The year had gone by so fast. Touring with the Bladebreakers, the American tournament, the Russian tournament, going back to china and finally training with the bladebreakers for the approaching who knows what tournament Kai has got planned for us. I rested back against the wall with a not so gentle 'thump,' head in my hands. All the Bladebreakers had gone out this morning after Kai had given us time off from training and I had decided to clean mine and Kai's shared room. After ten minutes of under the bed time I had found my old diary. Why do I have to be so like me. I berated myself. Why can't I be hyper like Max or funny if not a bit strange like Tyson or even cold and mysterious like Kai. It was then I realised another thing I've been doing the last year quite a lot off, dreaming of Kai, my super sexy captain. To bad he'd never be interested in boring ol Rei. I lifted my head from my hands and peaked at the page that was left open after I had rather ungraciously dropped it to the floor. As my eyes skimmed the page they rested on one particular sentence. "I was going to be the new Rei and I would do and see everything." I wanted to be free. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not just Rei, the nice, perfect mannered, lets people walk all over him kinda guy. I was going to have a fresh new start. I would find myself and I would try really really hard not to obsess over a certain two toned haired captain. World watch me now I felt like shouting. From tomorrow morning Rei Kon is going to be a new man.
Things to change.
My clothes. As comfy as they are, they have got to go. I mean come on, I NEED ATTITUDE.
Music. No more Britney.
Things to do:
Go clubbing
where I will do things you should never write home to your mother about
seduce Kai
receive first kiss I have never had from said person.
Somehow I think its time to call Yuri.
Thanks for reading. R&R if you get a chance. I'd love to hear your suggestions.
Pairings: will be Kai/Rei maybe Kai/Rei/Yuri some Max/Tyson
(Diary entry)
Rei:
It's strange how during the course of one minute your whole perspective on life can be changed. The more I think about it, the more I realise that 'strange' is a totally inappropriate word to be using. What I'm looking for is damn right scary, numb, terrifying and well, Just numb. Part of my brain is telling me how stupid I'm being, I mean I didn't even know the kid. The first time I saw him was on the television three hours ago on a home made movie his parents must off taken of him but after that one minute everything was different. His name was Uriko Blake. He was sixteen just like me and he was dead. Turned out Uriko had committed suicide. He was found yesterday morning by a dog walker but I don't want to have to go into details right now. It's just too raw.
You probably think I'm being overdramatic. I know that I've never seen the kid before in my whole life, that's why its so stupid but it still hurts.
I hurt for his family, for his friends and then for people like me who have been effected by his death. You probably think I'm being selfish but if I was this sad over a kid I didn't even know existed untill three hours ago and still don't even know now, then how terrible must the people who did know him feel?
I was sitting on the sofa which I was sharing with Tyson and Kai when I found out. I was watching the news and Tyson and Kai, well they were fighting over my shoulders. They were fighting while everything I had once believed had been shattered.
An hour later I was still there. Tyson and Kai had left ages ago. Tyson had mentioned food and Kai had gone off muttering about a certain blader and poisonous mushrooms while i had just sat there contemplating life.
It scared me how someone so young could be so unhappy that they had taken their life. It scared me how the kid had appeared so happy on the home-movie which had been shown on the news but deep down hidden beneath that smile he was really miserable. It scared me how little I knew about my team mates and in that moment, while I was sitting alone on the crimson coloured sofa, crimson like Kai's eyes, I decided that I would get to know the 'real' Tyson, Max, Kenny and Kai. I would find out what they liked, disliked and if they had ever just done something just plain stupid for the adrenaline rush you get later on and while I did that I would live my life. Uriko Blake had died so young and I am determined to make up for it. I will do all those things Uriko never got a chance to do. After living in the secluded Chinese village for so long I realised that I hadn't done anything with my life. I have never gotten so drunk that I couldn't remember what I did the night before, I had never eaten prawns, ick, and I had never been to a proper and I mean proper nightclub. Hell, I've never even been kissed. All this was going to change. From this point I was living for two people, two people who hadn't yet seen what the world had to offer and hopefully through my eyes Uriko would experience it. I was going to be the new Rei and I would do and see everything.
Rei.
After reading the last entry I had made into that diary I felt guilty. A guilt I had never experienced in the whole of my seventeen years , imagine how Rose must have felt when she took the last plank of wood to keep from freezing when the titanic had sunk and then realised that she had inadvertently caused the death of someone as cute as Leonardo Dicaprio. Now times that by a trillion. I had failed myself and I had failed Uriko. I sunk onto my bed with a sigh and let the diary slip out of my hands onto the cold apartment floor. I suddenly realised that nothing had changed. What have I been doing the last year I began asking myself and no matter how hard I tried to come up with at least something to compensate for the passing year all I got was a big blank. If this was an essay I'd get a U. The year had gone by so fast. Touring with the Bladebreakers, the American tournament, the Russian tournament, going back to china and finally training with the bladebreakers for the approaching who knows what tournament Kai has got planned for us. I rested back against the wall with a not so gentle 'thump,' head in my hands. All the Bladebreakers had gone out this morning after Kai had given us time off from training and I had decided to clean mine and Kai's shared room. After ten minutes of under the bed time I had found my old diary. Why do I have to be so like me. I berated myself. Why can't I be hyper like Max or funny if not a bit strange like Tyson or even cold and mysterious like Kai. It was then I realised another thing I've been doing the last year quite a lot off, dreaming of Kai, my super sexy captain. To bad he'd never be interested in boring ol Rei. I lifted my head from my hands and peaked at the page that was left open after I had rather ungraciously dropped it to the floor. As my eyes skimmed the page they rested on one particular sentence. "I was going to be the new Rei and I would do and see everything." I wanted to be free. I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not just Rei, the nice, perfect mannered, lets people walk all over him kinda guy. I was going to have a fresh new start. I would find myself and I would try really really hard not to obsess over a certain two toned haired captain. World watch me now I felt like shouting. From tomorrow morning Rei Kon is going to be a new man.
Things to change.
My clothes. As comfy as they are, they have got to go. I mean come on, I NEED ATTITUDE.
Music. No more Britney.
Things to do:
Go clubbing
where I will do things you should never write home to your mother about
seduce Kai
receive first kiss I have never had from said person.
Somehow I think its time to call Yuri.
Thanks for reading. R&R if you get a chance. I'd love to hear your suggestions.