My alarm started to go off. Damn that fucking alarm! And damn her stupid
dreams! It was five thirty and I wanted to be up and ready before everyone
else. I brushed and blow dried my hair. My make up was neatly placed in the
little alcove above my bed, with a mirror. I carefully applied my eye
liner, mascara and eye shadow, I looked like my old self. I looked great! I
made it to the Great Hall before everyone else. No one was there except
Professor Dumbledore, he was reading the Daily Prophet. I remembered her
dads letter and decided to ask him about my dreams.
"Um, Professor Dumbledore." I asked, he looked up and smiled.
"How can i help you today Miss COx?" He asked me. I took a deep breath.
"My dad said that if i had or needed any help with something i should come to you." I said, hoping my dad didnt just say that for comfort.
"What ever it is that you need i will try my best to help you." He said. I nodded.
"I am having a lot of nightmares lately. And I dont know if they are real, not real, but if they mean something." I said trying to explain.
"All too often dreams point us in the right direction, they have hidden meanings." Dumbledore said. I nodded.
"Tell me about one of your dreams, maybe i can help you." He said. I didnt know whether i wanted to share or not.
"Well, they mostly involve, My mom, My ex- boyfriend and sometimes a werewolf." I said, i was going to tell him the story.
"What does it involve?" He asked me.
"Its always the same thing, night after night except last night. Usually My mom and Conner, my ex-boyfriend, die. Cause they are dead, but theres a green light, and then it gets cold, and there is always this tall pale figure, hes scary and he tried to make my mom beg for her life. But she wouldnt, and then he kills COnner and his family. But last night it was like COnner was trying to TALK to me. there was conversation between us, and it hasnt happened before. Anyway, thats what happens. Last night felt so real." I said. Dumbledore's eyes went from twinkling to alarming. I didnt know what was so alarming, maybe it was the fact that i wasnt over thier deaths.
"Wow, thats a lot to have on your shoulders." He stated. I nodded sadly, i felt like crying again.
"What was he telling you last night?" He asked me. I looked up.
"He told me to follow my heart no matter, no matter the circumstances." I said. DUmbledore nodded, putting his long fingers together.
"You have to fight these dreams off yourself. No one else can do it for you." he said then a few people staggered in, one of them being Sirius. I watched him, he was hot and irrisistable.
"Ok, thank you" I said and i took my seat. Sirius sat near me.
"Hey, look i wanted to ask you about last night..." He started. I looked at him with worry in my eyes.
"Sirius, dont worry, i'll keep your secret safe." I said and we ate in silence. Everyone else came in.
"Thank you." he muttered leaving the hall with Remus, James and Peter.
Nights came and went and then I started to make up spells. I was only messing around with some of the old ancient spells. I was in the Room of Requirement, working on a past spell. I wanted so bad to go back in time and see my mom and Conner, it was my goal. But the more i tried the more i realized it was near impossible. One night while I was in the Common room, I noticed Remus leaving. He had been leaving once a month to go home. Another person in his family was sick. I yearned to have a family that i could go home to, all i had was my dad. I was working on my potions, doing more than required. I needed help with my dreamless sleep potion though. And the only one int eh school who was the best at potions was Snape. He could brew anything, I needed his help. Sirius sat down next to me.
"What are you working on?" He asked me, while i was watching Remus leave the common room.
"Potions." I said still distracted by my train of thought. Ever since school started, which has been three months so far, Remus has been gone for a day during each month, like clock work.
"Potions?!?!?!?! We had homework!" He asked outraged.
"No, this is free potions, i'm learning on my own time." I said. He looked at me like i was insane. I needed to get to the library. I rushed to the library, I had 3 hours before curfew took place. By a stroke of luck i spotted Snape in there.
"Sna... I mean Severus." I said, Malfoy was sitting next to him. They both turned and eyed me.
"Yes?" He asked.
"I was wondering if you could help me with a potion." I said looking at Malfoy. It was a Saturday and i was wearing hig huggers and a small long sleeve shirt. It showed about and inch of my skin in between them.
"What kind of potion?" He asked me. I debated whether i should go through with this or not. I should.
"A dreamless sleep potion." I said nonchalantly.
"Ok." He said. I smiled.
"Thanks. I have all the ingredients and the directions." I said opening up my bag and placing the stuff on the table. Luckily we were behind a shelf of books so it blocked the veiw of Maadam Pince.
"What do you need this for?" Malfoy questioned her.
"I need it because I am not getting much sleep at night." I told him and i made him drop the subject. Snape instructed me on how to do everything while i took extensive notes. When he waqs finished he handed me a flask with the liquid in it.
"Are you sure this will work?" I asked him. he nodded. We made enough fro a week.
"Thank you so much." I said and I gave him a hug after i packed all my things. I knew i was stepping over the line but it didnt matter. I made my way back to the common room, the freshly brewed potion in my hands. I bumped into something but nothing was there. Then i turned and i tripped over something, the flask flew out of my hand, landed on the floor and spilled all over the corridor. That was the last straw. I started to bawl. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the floor and in my hands. I couldnt stop crying, a hand was placed on my shoulder. It was Dumbledore. His eyes were kind. he understood.
"Come with me." He said. with a flick of his wand the mess was cleaned up. We entered his office. I didnt know if it was against the rules to make potions that were not assigned to you.
"Can you tell me what you are doing?" He said. I looked up, my eyes were still puffy.
"I was making a dreamless sleep potion." I said casting my eyes down again.
"Why?" He asked me.
"I cant sleep anymore, i try to, but i cant. I wake up crying every night, i dont know what it is. I need help. I need sleep. I am so damn close to resorting to ANYTHING. Please, i just want sleep." I said. He looked at me. And nodded. We left his office and went to the hospital wing. Madam Pomphrey came bustleing out of her office.
"What is it Albus?" She asked him.
"I need Miss Cox to stay here and she needs a dreamless sleep potion, let her stay until she thinks she is ready to leave. and give her the potion whenever she needs it." Dumbledore said. She nodded and got me a goblet full of a steamy potion. I drank it all up. And i soon fell asleep.
"Um, Professor Dumbledore." I asked, he looked up and smiled.
"How can i help you today Miss COx?" He asked me. I took a deep breath.
"My dad said that if i had or needed any help with something i should come to you." I said, hoping my dad didnt just say that for comfort.
"What ever it is that you need i will try my best to help you." He said. I nodded.
"I am having a lot of nightmares lately. And I dont know if they are real, not real, but if they mean something." I said trying to explain.
"All too often dreams point us in the right direction, they have hidden meanings." Dumbledore said. I nodded.
"Tell me about one of your dreams, maybe i can help you." He said. I didnt know whether i wanted to share or not.
"Well, they mostly involve, My mom, My ex- boyfriend and sometimes a werewolf." I said, i was going to tell him the story.
"What does it involve?" He asked me.
"Its always the same thing, night after night except last night. Usually My mom and Conner, my ex-boyfriend, die. Cause they are dead, but theres a green light, and then it gets cold, and there is always this tall pale figure, hes scary and he tried to make my mom beg for her life. But she wouldnt, and then he kills COnner and his family. But last night it was like COnner was trying to TALK to me. there was conversation between us, and it hasnt happened before. Anyway, thats what happens. Last night felt so real." I said. Dumbledore's eyes went from twinkling to alarming. I didnt know what was so alarming, maybe it was the fact that i wasnt over thier deaths.
"Wow, thats a lot to have on your shoulders." He stated. I nodded sadly, i felt like crying again.
"What was he telling you last night?" He asked me. I looked up.
"He told me to follow my heart no matter, no matter the circumstances." I said. DUmbledore nodded, putting his long fingers together.
"You have to fight these dreams off yourself. No one else can do it for you." he said then a few people staggered in, one of them being Sirius. I watched him, he was hot and irrisistable.
"Ok, thank you" I said and i took my seat. Sirius sat near me.
"Hey, look i wanted to ask you about last night..." He started. I looked at him with worry in my eyes.
"Sirius, dont worry, i'll keep your secret safe." I said and we ate in silence. Everyone else came in.
"Thank you." he muttered leaving the hall with Remus, James and Peter.
Nights came and went and then I started to make up spells. I was only messing around with some of the old ancient spells. I was in the Room of Requirement, working on a past spell. I wanted so bad to go back in time and see my mom and Conner, it was my goal. But the more i tried the more i realized it was near impossible. One night while I was in the Common room, I noticed Remus leaving. He had been leaving once a month to go home. Another person in his family was sick. I yearned to have a family that i could go home to, all i had was my dad. I was working on my potions, doing more than required. I needed help with my dreamless sleep potion though. And the only one int eh school who was the best at potions was Snape. He could brew anything, I needed his help. Sirius sat down next to me.
"What are you working on?" He asked me, while i was watching Remus leave the common room.
"Potions." I said still distracted by my train of thought. Ever since school started, which has been three months so far, Remus has been gone for a day during each month, like clock work.
"Potions?!?!?!?! We had homework!" He asked outraged.
"No, this is free potions, i'm learning on my own time." I said. He looked at me like i was insane. I needed to get to the library. I rushed to the library, I had 3 hours before curfew took place. By a stroke of luck i spotted Snape in there.
"Sna... I mean Severus." I said, Malfoy was sitting next to him. They both turned and eyed me.
"Yes?" He asked.
"I was wondering if you could help me with a potion." I said looking at Malfoy. It was a Saturday and i was wearing hig huggers and a small long sleeve shirt. It showed about and inch of my skin in between them.
"What kind of potion?" He asked me. I debated whether i should go through with this or not. I should.
"A dreamless sleep potion." I said nonchalantly.
"Ok." He said. I smiled.
"Thanks. I have all the ingredients and the directions." I said opening up my bag and placing the stuff on the table. Luckily we were behind a shelf of books so it blocked the veiw of Maadam Pince.
"What do you need this for?" Malfoy questioned her.
"I need it because I am not getting much sleep at night." I told him and i made him drop the subject. Snape instructed me on how to do everything while i took extensive notes. When he waqs finished he handed me a flask with the liquid in it.
"Are you sure this will work?" I asked him. he nodded. We made enough fro a week.
"Thank you so much." I said and I gave him a hug after i packed all my things. I knew i was stepping over the line but it didnt matter. I made my way back to the common room, the freshly brewed potion in my hands. I bumped into something but nothing was there. Then i turned and i tripped over something, the flask flew out of my hand, landed on the floor and spilled all over the corridor. That was the last straw. I started to bawl. Tears rolled down my cheeks and onto the floor and in my hands. I couldnt stop crying, a hand was placed on my shoulder. It was Dumbledore. His eyes were kind. he understood.
"Come with me." He said. with a flick of his wand the mess was cleaned up. We entered his office. I didnt know if it was against the rules to make potions that were not assigned to you.
"Can you tell me what you are doing?" He said. I looked up, my eyes were still puffy.
"I was making a dreamless sleep potion." I said casting my eyes down again.
"Why?" He asked me.
"I cant sleep anymore, i try to, but i cant. I wake up crying every night, i dont know what it is. I need help. I need sleep. I am so damn close to resorting to ANYTHING. Please, i just want sleep." I said. He looked at me. And nodded. We left his office and went to the hospital wing. Madam Pomphrey came bustleing out of her office.
"What is it Albus?" She asked him.
"I need Miss Cox to stay here and she needs a dreamless sleep potion, let her stay until she thinks she is ready to leave. and give her the potion whenever she needs it." Dumbledore said. She nodded and got me a goblet full of a steamy potion. I drank it all up. And i soon fell asleep.