Part 17: Shades Of Rejection
"Wizardmon, what is it?!" Nicholas asked as he carefully pried the frantic cat out of the frozen gloved hands and handed Sydney over to Natalie to lock in her bedroom. When the doctor returned, he was still trying to get an answer from his softly wailing companion.
Being the more practical of the two, Dr. Lambert prodded the pair to move inside from the hallway before one of her neighbors decided to see what was going on. She directed Nick to take his friend over to her couch while she retrieved her medical kit and a box of tissues from her bathroom, silently wondering what was going on now.
Ever since Nick had been wheeled into her lab room and gotten up out of that body bag, her life had become far more interesting than she'd ever hoped for. How many other doctors had a real, live---or undead--- vampire as a willing test subject? And the fact that said vampire was pretty darn good looking was just icing on the chocolate cake!
"I'm so sorry about this," she apologized to her small guest as she nudged Nicholas to move aside so that she could tend to the other's wounds. "I was just getting Sydney ready to take out, but he always seems to know when a v.e.t. is in his future and it's like trying to corral the Tazmanian Devil. God forbid he should ever figure out his own mommy is one of the Cursed Ones" she joked then silently mouthed at Nicholas, "Is he one of 'them'?"
Nick shook his head. "No, he isn't, but he does know about vampires."
"Ah. One of a rare breed then," she drawled, dabbing a cotton ball into the disinfectant. "Okay, kiddo, let's see what amount of damage dear old Sydney managed to inflict on--"
She had been prepared for a protest by the child---nobody much cared for the sting of alcohol against an open wound---but she had not expected to feel Nicholas' iron grip wrap around her wrist.
"Rarer than you realize."
"Nick, if this child isn't one of you, then those scratches will get infected if I don't treat them!" Exasperated, she tried to pull her hand back, but he held on. "Nick---let go!"
"Natalie," her daylight-impaired patient returned, "Wizardmon may not be a vampire, but neither is he a human child."
"You mean he's a midget?" Natalie asked, trying to peer under the purple hat. "Sorry about that, but it's kind of hard to tell anything what with all of-"
Shaking his head, the vampire corrected her again.
"No." He let go of her wrist, apologizing for his action by massaging it gently to restore the circulation, "He's not from our world, Nat. And his face is... different from what you are expecting to find." He spoke softly into his companion's ear. Hesitantly, the stranger nodded, and began removing his hat and cowl.
Not of their world? Was this a joke? But Nick's expression was dead serious and did not waver. Steeling herself for what she would see, Natalie held her breath as first a dark-golden mane of straight hair was fully revealed, then grief-reddened eyes of green surrounded by skin the color of a sunlight-lit rain cloud. Skin that was marred by multiple claw welts and wet with tears from those too large eyes as the gloved hands slowly tugged off the fabric that had been concealing---
"Oh, my God---"Dr. Lambert gasped as his 'nose' and mouth areas were revealed---"what is it?!"
Wizardmon hurriedly buried his face within both his arms, sobbing afresh in his misery as another memory from his past flayed him like a barbed whip:
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(Digital World: The Past /The Estate of A Viral Lord)
The recently digivolved Champion wizard stood frozen in disbelief as his Rookie friends, two crabmon, and a candmon snubbed him one by one, their backs turned against the sky-colored digimon.
"I don't understand. What have I done?' he beseeched, nervously gripping the brim of his new hat. He turned to plead with each of the crabmon. "Is this because I am now more powerful than you are? So I'm an adult---so what! Do you think that matters to me? You will all digivolve too. Nothing has really changed." Not getting a reply from the crustaceans, he turned to the living candlestick, getting down on his knees like a peasant petitioning his lord. "Tell them Candmon," he quietly begged. "You know me. You even gave me my Rookie name. I'm not going to demand to be leader---you must realize that I'd never do that to you. Magicalmon or Wizardmon--- just sounds in the ear, right? Nothing has changed, not really. We can go on as bef-"
With a roar the Rookie leader turned around and wedged the wizard's roundish face between his wax forearms. "Oh, yes it has!" his former best friend and elder of the group harshly informed him. "Look at you. You're disgusting!" He thrust the wizard away, brushing at his wax as if they had become soiled through contact with the blue skin.
Green eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"You're ugly!" one of the hard shells smugly clarified for him.
"Floramon kissed me," he mumbled the feeble defense. "She wouldn't do that if she thought I was ugly."
Would she?
"Data Flash, buddy, the older crabmon snorted. "That was a dare! When he heard you'd digivolved into an even bigger freak, we dared her to kiss you and tell us what it felt like." The younger continued with a cruel smile, "She said she hated it---that it was even painful."
His ex-best friend nodded. "Bios knows it was hard enough to overlook before," Candmon's scathing voice added. "But this is too much even with Master's command to pay it no mind. None of us can stand to look at you any longer. Now get lost. Go back to Master---he's the only one who wants to have you around. You're not wanted around here!"
"Defect! Go away! Get lost!"
"But..." Wizardmon began, and then tremblingly got to his feet, not understanding the others---or not wanting to. When he had first arrived, it had been Candmon who had made up a name for him when he'd been unable to recall who he was let alone where he'd come from. Placing the pointy hat firmly onto his head, he took a step forward, expression distressed. "What do you mean by "Master's command"?"
Candmon's sent a flame out from a waxed arm to stop him from stepping closer. Wizardmon fell back a step, not quite turning his face quickly enough to avoid being singed along his cheek. He winced at the painful burn, but was as yet unwilling to retreat. Maybe this was all just a sick game they were playing today? A hazing for his having digivolved above them? Soon now they'd laugh and tell him it was all a joke. And they would play dodge ball or tag or something.
Wouldn't they?
He risked a glimpse into their thoughts---so desperate was he for another explanation---and recoiled at what he saw there.
This was no game.
Backing away from the hostile trio, Wizardmon felt the tears tumble from his eyes to get partially caught in the stitches that graced his new mouth.
That really was what they thought? He couldn't help it if he'd digivolved into this 'wizardmon' form! Or were wizardmons suppose to look like this? He reached an unfamiliar hand inside the cowl in order to feel the flexible threads that had come with his new body. Nobody he knew had ever seen or heard of a wizardmon before, so he had no idea if something was wrong or not. What if he really was a chance anomaly in the System like Master had said? A glitch? A.. .defect?"
Unwanted. Unneeded. Without purpose.
"You think we played with you willingly?" Candmon continued upon seeing he still had not moved. "You're defective! That's why there aren't any other wizardmons around---nope, not one! You're nothing but a mistake in the System---a filthy glitch!"
"Yeah--- a filthy glitch!" the Crabmon twins echoed, snapping their pincers in chorus.
"Glitch! Glitch! Filthy wizardmon glitch!"
Gasping, Wizardmon hastily pulled up the short cowl of his cape and clapped his hands over his ears to try to shut out the taunts. He'd known for a long time that he wasn't pleasant to look upon---hadn't Master said so? ---but he had hoped that by digivolving his features would improve. Even after darting a glance into the polished surface of one of Master's pots before going to find the others, he had still hoped. Now there was no denying the truth:
His face was twice as ugly as before. No doubt the rest of him was even more despicable to behold. That was why Master had insisted that he never take off the outfit he'd been given save when bathing in solitude---to hide his disfigured servant's secret.
Why ever had he let them talk him into removing the hat and cowl from his face?
** You are not a true digimon. The others will reject you if they see you as you are, so you must wear these at all times. **
** But… they are my friends, Master. **
** Are you questioning me? **
** Oh no, my lord! **
** I should hope not. You know I have only your best interests at heart. **
Gloved hands absently fingered the wide hat and concealing cloak which hid most of his head as he gave each of his 'playmates' one last look.
They despised him.
Only Tapirwomon, who was keeping a little apart from the others, gave him a sympathetic look, but he was too upset to notice.
Master was wise and compassionate to give him these things. He should have obeyed him and kept covered. Now he'd lost all his friends!
The jeers and tauntings continued even louder. Candmon finally picking up their ball and throwing it at him. Hard.
Anger rose up within the wizard. So that was the way things were going to be for him from now on until he digivolved again---maybe even into something worse! Well, so what? The System could go Dark for all he cared! His fellow digimon could slowly fragmentize! In fact, he was going to care only for himself! He didn't care for them! He wouldn't care---not ever again! Clenching his fists, he floated away over the ground at top speed, intent on reaching nowhere in particular. To do nothing in particular.
All Digital World would see how much he didn't care! That would show the System!
"Wizardmon, wait!"
Turning around without actually stopping his flight, Wizardmon saw Tapirwomon running after him. He felt half inclined to ignore her and keep going, but he stiffly stood still until she came up to him.
Tapirwomon was an animal Vaccine Rookie who stored nightmares to use as a defense. It hadn't been enough to save her when she'd been kidnapped by the group's master to act as a resident nurse, but as a 'slave' she knew what it was like to suffer the diatribes of others. For years now, she had acted as the Rookie Magicalmon's nanny, and her heart broke for the mon who had at one time arrived as a whimsical and outgoing sprite--- and had been slowly changed into an increasingly insecure hermit. This was more of their master's manipulation of her sensitive charge, she was sure. Poor Wizardmon!
"Wizardmon, where are you going?"
Truthfully, he hadn't really thought about that. It wasn't like his master allowed him free reign in his estate.
"Does it matter?" he snapped, refusing to look at her. Had she come to tell him how much she hated him too? "Everyone made it perfectly clear about how they felt."
The tapir-shaped digimon reared up onto the puffs of cloud that formed her back legs and gave him a hug. "It does to me. I don't care what Master's interference have made you look like---inside your still my little Magicalmon."
Sniffling, the humanoid wilted until he had buried his face into the soft fur, breathing in her scent as if it was the sweetest of flowers. "Tapirwomon… is it true? Did Master really tell everyone to accept me even though they didn't want to?"
"*I* always accepted you," Tapirwomon reminded him. "No mon needed to order me, little one."
"Mmm… Not so little, anymore." the new wizard smiled, taking some comfort in her calling him that even though it used to irk him before. ""But the others?"
The beast digimon sighed and hugged him tighter. "Yes. Master, threatened to beat them if they didn't."
Wizardmon swallowed, lifting his head enough to rest it upon the golden metal plate that protected her head "Why?"
"I imagine in order to entice you to stay of your own accord. He was very keen that we always kept tabs on you when you weren't in his lab."
"And now? Do you think he want me to leave now that I've digivolved?"
"I think the act of those three's nagging you to show them your new form despite your obvious reluctance wasn't just inspired by curiosity! I think that whole charade was orchestrated to go just as it went so you'd go running back to him! And I wonder how he plans to get *me* to reject you as well so that he can bind you even closer to himself and himself alone," Tapirwomon growled.
Frowning, Wizardmon reluctantly pulled out of her embrace. This was the one point of contention that they had between them: that Tapirwomon felt no allegiance to their master. "I am already bound to him," he avowed loyally. "He rescued me, Tapirwomon. He's not just 'Master'---he's my savior. If he occasionally hurts me, it's for my own good."
"Rescued you?" Tapirwomon scoffed. "Or just made you *think* he'd rescued you."
The Data grimaced. "You never understand."
"Oh, I understand plenty! This *is* Master we are talking about, Wizardmon, though I know you never wanted to hear it before. You are so much smarter than those reprobates back there. Maybe even as smart as Master. Why won't you see that he is manipulating you?"
"Tapirwomon…" Wizardmon sighed.
"No! He stole a child with amnesia who'd gotten lost somehow. He ordered others to be 'playmates' for you. He forbids you from being anywhere or with anyone he didn't tell you to be with. He will do or say anything to get what he wants. Friend? Wizardmon!" she ended with exasperation, "We are all nothing but his slaves! Daemon is nobody's friend."
"But that's just it, Tapirwomon! I didn't get lost---to get lost you have to first belong somewhere! Do you know where he found me? With koromon! I'd traveled to a number of villages, but only the youngest children would dare to play with me. Everyone else shooed me away---and not always gently. He was yelling now. "Where do I belong, Tapirwomon! Huh? Tell me where I belong! But you can't, can you? Because they're right---there ARE NO OTHERS LIKE ME! I'm an error. A mistake. A filthy GLITCH!"
With that he turned and fled towards the building that held Daemon's lab room---the only 'home' he knew to go to.
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"Wizardmon, what is it?!" Nicholas asked as he carefully pried the frantic cat out of the frozen gloved hands and handed Sydney over to Natalie to lock in her bedroom. When the doctor returned, he was still trying to get an answer from his softly wailing companion.
Being the more practical of the two, Dr. Lambert prodded the pair to move inside from the hallway before one of her neighbors decided to see what was going on. She directed Nick to take his friend over to her couch while she retrieved her medical kit and a box of tissues from her bathroom, silently wondering what was going on now.
Ever since Nick had been wheeled into her lab room and gotten up out of that body bag, her life had become far more interesting than she'd ever hoped for. How many other doctors had a real, live---or undead--- vampire as a willing test subject? And the fact that said vampire was pretty darn good looking was just icing on the chocolate cake!
"I'm so sorry about this," she apologized to her small guest as she nudged Nicholas to move aside so that she could tend to the other's wounds. "I was just getting Sydney ready to take out, but he always seems to know when a v.e.t. is in his future and it's like trying to corral the Tazmanian Devil. God forbid he should ever figure out his own mommy is one of the Cursed Ones" she joked then silently mouthed at Nicholas, "Is he one of 'them'?"
Nick shook his head. "No, he isn't, but he does know about vampires."
"Ah. One of a rare breed then," she drawled, dabbing a cotton ball into the disinfectant. "Okay, kiddo, let's see what amount of damage dear old Sydney managed to inflict on--"
She had been prepared for a protest by the child---nobody much cared for the sting of alcohol against an open wound---but she had not expected to feel Nicholas' iron grip wrap around her wrist.
"Rarer than you realize."
"Nick, if this child isn't one of you, then those scratches will get infected if I don't treat them!" Exasperated, she tried to pull her hand back, but he held on. "Nick---let go!"
"Natalie," her daylight-impaired patient returned, "Wizardmon may not be a vampire, but neither is he a human child."
"You mean he's a midget?" Natalie asked, trying to peer under the purple hat. "Sorry about that, but it's kind of hard to tell anything what with all of-"
Shaking his head, the vampire corrected her again.
"No." He let go of her wrist, apologizing for his action by massaging it gently to restore the circulation, "He's not from our world, Nat. And his face is... different from what you are expecting to find." He spoke softly into his companion's ear. Hesitantly, the stranger nodded, and began removing his hat and cowl.
Not of their world? Was this a joke? But Nick's expression was dead serious and did not waver. Steeling herself for what she would see, Natalie held her breath as first a dark-golden mane of straight hair was fully revealed, then grief-reddened eyes of green surrounded by skin the color of a sunlight-lit rain cloud. Skin that was marred by multiple claw welts and wet with tears from those too large eyes as the gloved hands slowly tugged off the fabric that had been concealing---
"Oh, my God---"Dr. Lambert gasped as his 'nose' and mouth areas were revealed---"what is it?!"
Wizardmon hurriedly buried his face within both his arms, sobbing afresh in his misery as another memory from his past flayed him like a barbed whip:
----------------------------
(Digital World: The Past /The Estate of A Viral Lord)
The recently digivolved Champion wizard stood frozen in disbelief as his Rookie friends, two crabmon, and a candmon snubbed him one by one, their backs turned against the sky-colored digimon.
"I don't understand. What have I done?' he beseeched, nervously gripping the brim of his new hat. He turned to plead with each of the crabmon. "Is this because I am now more powerful than you are? So I'm an adult---so what! Do you think that matters to me? You will all digivolve too. Nothing has really changed." Not getting a reply from the crustaceans, he turned to the living candlestick, getting down on his knees like a peasant petitioning his lord. "Tell them Candmon," he quietly begged. "You know me. You even gave me my Rookie name. I'm not going to demand to be leader---you must realize that I'd never do that to you. Magicalmon or Wizardmon--- just sounds in the ear, right? Nothing has changed, not really. We can go on as bef-"
With a roar the Rookie leader turned around and wedged the wizard's roundish face between his wax forearms. "Oh, yes it has!" his former best friend and elder of the group harshly informed him. "Look at you. You're disgusting!" He thrust the wizard away, brushing at his wax as if they had become soiled through contact with the blue skin.
Green eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"You're ugly!" one of the hard shells smugly clarified for him.
"Floramon kissed me," he mumbled the feeble defense. "She wouldn't do that if she thought I was ugly."
Would she?
"Data Flash, buddy, the older crabmon snorted. "That was a dare! When he heard you'd digivolved into an even bigger freak, we dared her to kiss you and tell us what it felt like." The younger continued with a cruel smile, "She said she hated it---that it was even painful."
His ex-best friend nodded. "Bios knows it was hard enough to overlook before," Candmon's scathing voice added. "But this is too much even with Master's command to pay it no mind. None of us can stand to look at you any longer. Now get lost. Go back to Master---he's the only one who wants to have you around. You're not wanted around here!"
"Defect! Go away! Get lost!"
"But..." Wizardmon began, and then tremblingly got to his feet, not understanding the others---or not wanting to. When he had first arrived, it had been Candmon who had made up a name for him when he'd been unable to recall who he was let alone where he'd come from. Placing the pointy hat firmly onto his head, he took a step forward, expression distressed. "What do you mean by "Master's command"?"
Candmon's sent a flame out from a waxed arm to stop him from stepping closer. Wizardmon fell back a step, not quite turning his face quickly enough to avoid being singed along his cheek. He winced at the painful burn, but was as yet unwilling to retreat. Maybe this was all just a sick game they were playing today? A hazing for his having digivolved above them? Soon now they'd laugh and tell him it was all a joke. And they would play dodge ball or tag or something.
Wouldn't they?
He risked a glimpse into their thoughts---so desperate was he for another explanation---and recoiled at what he saw there.
This was no game.
Backing away from the hostile trio, Wizardmon felt the tears tumble from his eyes to get partially caught in the stitches that graced his new mouth.
That really was what they thought? He couldn't help it if he'd digivolved into this 'wizardmon' form! Or were wizardmons suppose to look like this? He reached an unfamiliar hand inside the cowl in order to feel the flexible threads that had come with his new body. Nobody he knew had ever seen or heard of a wizardmon before, so he had no idea if something was wrong or not. What if he really was a chance anomaly in the System like Master had said? A glitch? A.. .defect?"
Unwanted. Unneeded. Without purpose.
"You think we played with you willingly?" Candmon continued upon seeing he still had not moved. "You're defective! That's why there aren't any other wizardmons around---nope, not one! You're nothing but a mistake in the System---a filthy glitch!"
"Yeah--- a filthy glitch!" the Crabmon twins echoed, snapping their pincers in chorus.
"Glitch! Glitch! Filthy wizardmon glitch!"
Gasping, Wizardmon hastily pulled up the short cowl of his cape and clapped his hands over his ears to try to shut out the taunts. He'd known for a long time that he wasn't pleasant to look upon---hadn't Master said so? ---but he had hoped that by digivolving his features would improve. Even after darting a glance into the polished surface of one of Master's pots before going to find the others, he had still hoped. Now there was no denying the truth:
His face was twice as ugly as before. No doubt the rest of him was even more despicable to behold. That was why Master had insisted that he never take off the outfit he'd been given save when bathing in solitude---to hide his disfigured servant's secret.
Why ever had he let them talk him into removing the hat and cowl from his face?
** You are not a true digimon. The others will reject you if they see you as you are, so you must wear these at all times. **
** But… they are my friends, Master. **
** Are you questioning me? **
** Oh no, my lord! **
** I should hope not. You know I have only your best interests at heart. **
Gloved hands absently fingered the wide hat and concealing cloak which hid most of his head as he gave each of his 'playmates' one last look.
They despised him.
Only Tapirwomon, who was keeping a little apart from the others, gave him a sympathetic look, but he was too upset to notice.
Master was wise and compassionate to give him these things. He should have obeyed him and kept covered. Now he'd lost all his friends!
The jeers and tauntings continued even louder. Candmon finally picking up their ball and throwing it at him. Hard.
Anger rose up within the wizard. So that was the way things were going to be for him from now on until he digivolved again---maybe even into something worse! Well, so what? The System could go Dark for all he cared! His fellow digimon could slowly fragmentize! In fact, he was going to care only for himself! He didn't care for them! He wouldn't care---not ever again! Clenching his fists, he floated away over the ground at top speed, intent on reaching nowhere in particular. To do nothing in particular.
All Digital World would see how much he didn't care! That would show the System!
"Wizardmon, wait!"
Turning around without actually stopping his flight, Wizardmon saw Tapirwomon running after him. He felt half inclined to ignore her and keep going, but he stiffly stood still until she came up to him.
Tapirwomon was an animal Vaccine Rookie who stored nightmares to use as a defense. It hadn't been enough to save her when she'd been kidnapped by the group's master to act as a resident nurse, but as a 'slave' she knew what it was like to suffer the diatribes of others. For years now, she had acted as the Rookie Magicalmon's nanny, and her heart broke for the mon who had at one time arrived as a whimsical and outgoing sprite--- and had been slowly changed into an increasingly insecure hermit. This was more of their master's manipulation of her sensitive charge, she was sure. Poor Wizardmon!
"Wizardmon, where are you going?"
Truthfully, he hadn't really thought about that. It wasn't like his master allowed him free reign in his estate.
"Does it matter?" he snapped, refusing to look at her. Had she come to tell him how much she hated him too? "Everyone made it perfectly clear about how they felt."
The tapir-shaped digimon reared up onto the puffs of cloud that formed her back legs and gave him a hug. "It does to me. I don't care what Master's interference have made you look like---inside your still my little Magicalmon."
Sniffling, the humanoid wilted until he had buried his face into the soft fur, breathing in her scent as if it was the sweetest of flowers. "Tapirwomon… is it true? Did Master really tell everyone to accept me even though they didn't want to?"
"*I* always accepted you," Tapirwomon reminded him. "No mon needed to order me, little one."
"Mmm… Not so little, anymore." the new wizard smiled, taking some comfort in her calling him that even though it used to irk him before. ""But the others?"
The beast digimon sighed and hugged him tighter. "Yes. Master, threatened to beat them if they didn't."
Wizardmon swallowed, lifting his head enough to rest it upon the golden metal plate that protected her head "Why?"
"I imagine in order to entice you to stay of your own accord. He was very keen that we always kept tabs on you when you weren't in his lab."
"And now? Do you think he want me to leave now that I've digivolved?"
"I think the act of those three's nagging you to show them your new form despite your obvious reluctance wasn't just inspired by curiosity! I think that whole charade was orchestrated to go just as it went so you'd go running back to him! And I wonder how he plans to get *me* to reject you as well so that he can bind you even closer to himself and himself alone," Tapirwomon growled.
Frowning, Wizardmon reluctantly pulled out of her embrace. This was the one point of contention that they had between them: that Tapirwomon felt no allegiance to their master. "I am already bound to him," he avowed loyally. "He rescued me, Tapirwomon. He's not just 'Master'---he's my savior. If he occasionally hurts me, it's for my own good."
"Rescued you?" Tapirwomon scoffed. "Or just made you *think* he'd rescued you."
The Data grimaced. "You never understand."
"Oh, I understand plenty! This *is* Master we are talking about, Wizardmon, though I know you never wanted to hear it before. You are so much smarter than those reprobates back there. Maybe even as smart as Master. Why won't you see that he is manipulating you?"
"Tapirwomon…" Wizardmon sighed.
"No! He stole a child with amnesia who'd gotten lost somehow. He ordered others to be 'playmates' for you. He forbids you from being anywhere or with anyone he didn't tell you to be with. He will do or say anything to get what he wants. Friend? Wizardmon!" she ended with exasperation, "We are all nothing but his slaves! Daemon is nobody's friend."
"But that's just it, Tapirwomon! I didn't get lost---to get lost you have to first belong somewhere! Do you know where he found me? With koromon! I'd traveled to a number of villages, but only the youngest children would dare to play with me. Everyone else shooed me away---and not always gently. He was yelling now. "Where do I belong, Tapirwomon! Huh? Tell me where I belong! But you can't, can you? Because they're right---there ARE NO OTHERS LIKE ME! I'm an error. A mistake. A filthy GLITCH!"
With that he turned and fled towards the building that held Daemon's lab room---the only 'home' he knew to go to.
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