Jack had finally got water on his butt and was feeling much better. He
sighed in relief. 'She's gone!' he thought then started doing a snoopy
dance. He heard foot steps behind him. 'Oh please don't let that be her!'
he stopped abruptly and turned around slowly. He saw a two women. One had
short messy blond hair and blue-green eyes, and the other had short brown
hair and green eyes. They were wearing breeches and off white shirts. They
began walking toward him.
"Mr. Sparrow, who are you running from?" asked the brown hair woman.
"Could it be a small psycho midget with serious issues?" asked the other, notcing his odd colorment.
"Who are ye?" asked Jack.
"we are Penelope" she motioned to the blond, "and Sassy."
"okay, why are we here?" Jack asked confused.
"We are two women who are trying to find United Preppy Savages." Sassy replied.
"Who are they?" asked Jack
"Preppies." Replied Penelope.
"We need to be going now sir, excuse us." Penelope said pushing past Jack. The two women walked off into the sun set. Jack stood there confused. He was still happy that his butt wasn't on fire and that midget wasn't around.
But that name ran a small bell in his head.
Scarlet and Giselle! Oh no! Why them? He groaned.
"Wait! I know someone that can help." The two women looked back at him. "This way." He said and walked back to the town he left.
It was still broad daylight and a street band in the corner wearing pink nylons and green waistcoats were playing a very creepy tune.
"THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!" Annabel Rocks said. "Get him!" she pointed to Jack His eyes went wide and he ran smack into Penelope and Sassy, knocking them down. "Apologize at once!" She screamed.
"I'm terribly sorry-"he began.
"There they are, the leaders of the United Preppy Savages gang." Sassy yelled, pointing to Scarlet and Giselle. The band began to play the Can- Can.
Scarlet and Giselle took off running and Sassy and Penelope went after them knocking over Jack in the process Jack fell on top of Annabel Rocks and she tipped over a book shelf with rum on it and the dominoes effect started as it knocked over another book shelf and that knocked over another one.
Annabel chided Jack quickly and ran off to follow the two women and teach them some manners.
The two women, however were currently doing a belly dance contest between Scarlet and Giselle on top of the Black Smith shop. So Annabel ran into the black smith shop, knocked over will who had a flaming brand in his had, the brand went flying out the door, skimming over Jack's head-but lighting his orange hair on fire.
"Jack sniffed and rolled his eyes up, "Oh no." he whispered ,"YAAAAAHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. "He howled as he ran into a talking cactus playing a violin.
"Take your partner by the ears lash him to will, doc e do, turn the wheel listen to them squeal." As he was saying this a talking frog started to square dance with him.
"CAAbIN FEEEEEEEEVERRR!!!!!!!" Sassy said jumping down from the roof with Penelope following. Everyone was now in a circle around Jack (including will, not including Annabel Rocks) and wearing pink wraps, fruit on their head and coconut bikinis and doing the Macarena.
"What the bloody hell is going on here!" Jack exclaimed getting quite dizzy from everyone in the circle "stop!"
They stopped and looked at him laughing. Scarlet and Giselle walk closedto him and circle him. He became nervous and covered his manhood. Giselle had a small bole of rum in her hand. She poured it on Jacks head, this caused the color to come out of his skin. He now looked normal. Scarlet then stood next to Giselle and began kissing his neck. Giselle began on his pants...but then Giselle was grabbed around the neck by Sassy and Giselle was being pulled away by her hair by Penelope. Sassy and Penelope dragged them off into the sunset.
"No!" yelled Jack running toward after them, Will stepped in front of him.
"Wait!" Will said. "Someone is behind you."
Jack turned to see Mrs. Annabel Rocks. She was now in pirate clothing and looking extremely pissed off.
"Mr. Sparrow!" she yelled.
"Oh no!" Jack yelled.
"It is time for you spanking!" she yelled pointing at the ground.
"Alright." Jack replied. He knelled down and was on his hands and knees.
"That's good..." she sighed. She took out a wooden paddle and began spanking. "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!...."
Will was standing there laughing like a maniac. Jack gave him a dirty look. Jack felt so embraced because half the town was watching it. Many were rolling on the ground laughing. Jack took out his pistol, (still being spanked.) and shot at someone's wig. Annabel was done.
"Alright Jack you may go play, but play nicely!" Annabel yelled eyeing him sternly.
"Yes ma'am." he said.
He got up and sadly noticed that the person who's wig he'd shot was Commodore Norrington. And because Jack was having such a horrible day; Norrington was running toward him threateningly.
Then Norrington stopped, realizing that he was still in a coconut bikini with a pink wrap around his waist. And Barbie flip flops. And Will stopped laughing as he realized that he too was in a coconut bikini and pink wrap, with fruit on his head.
"Huh?" Will said. "oh, well, I'm going to go back and make me two swords."
"And I'm going to find my shirt and underwear. Though I think I do look rather sliming in this. Don't you." Norrington said.
"Yes very sexy." Will replied and went back into the shop. Jack scratched his head.
"Elizabeth must have competition then." He commented. He heard five women laughing and turned around. There was Scarlet, Giselle-in corsets and pantaloons-Elizabeth-also in a corset and pantaloons, and Penelope and Sassy-wearing the breeches and off white shirts they were first in, commenting on the 101 uses for eggs.
"There he is!" Elizabeth shouted pointing at Jack. All five of them pulled out an object. Elizabeth had a rolling pen, Scarlet had cheese, Giselle had milk, Penelope had eggs and Sassy had flour.
"Holy-"he ran but tripped over Norrington's bikini and fell into a pile of horse manure. Gisele grabbed him by his shoulder and threw him on the table. Scarlet dumped a whole thing of grated cheese on him, Sassy dumped five galleons of flour on him Singing "Paddy Cake, Paddy cake." Giselle poured the milk over him and the flour turned all gooey, then Penelope chucked the eggs at his head and they all broke.
"EEEEEEEEEEEwwWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Jack squealed, "It's disgusting."
"Roll him dough." Elizabeth sang and smacked him over the head with the rolling pin.
"Then through him in the oven for daddy and me." They all sang together opening the hot black smith's door. Jack's eyes went wide.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAA AAAAAAAAAA*breath*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA" he stopped. Penelope handed him a mint.
"O, Barbie flavored." Jack said and swallowed the whole pack.
"Yes, Barbie is good ommmmmmmm." A man said in the corner. Jack turned. It was Barbossa wearing neon pink robes sitting cross legged on a toad stool with a pink cone hat with Barbie rocks on the front in sparkly letter with Barbie head sticking out the top.
"Lets have a part." Sassy said.
"Hey Barbie lets go party, ah ah ah ah...." Barbossa sang. He kept singing the whole song and everyone got up and did the disco. Then Scarlet took one of Jack's arms, Giselle took the other and they went skipping of in the sunset singing.
"Oh, were off to see the gizzard, the wonderful gizzard of it."
Jack finally came to his senses. He looked around at everyone and came To one conclusion...everyone had gone crazy. He began to try and walk away with out being noticed. It worked. He ran quickly down an alley and into a dark space to hide. But he wasn't alone. Annabel Rocks was right behind him. She pinched his butt. He yelped in surprise.
"Hello Mr. Sparrow. It seems everyone has gone completely crazy." She sighed angrily.
"Yes! Finally something we can agree on!" Jack yelled. "It's bad enough Barbossa is a Barbie freak...but all the singing!"
"It's bothersome." she said. Jack nodded. "Yes, Yes, it's quite annoying. But you must go back out there. You must go back out there and grab Giselle and Scarlet and bring them in here. That's your challenge."
"Okay." Jack sighed knowing that if her said know she'd probably give him a whippin'. he slugged his way back out to where everyone was. But it seemed that everything was back to normal. Barbossa was normally sending his goons to savagely pillage Port Royal, he saw that Elizabeth was being hog tied and thrown in a bag then being carried to Barbossa's new ship. 'The Smelly Golden Vomit Launcher'. But he couldn't find Scarlet or Giselle.
Now Jack must go on a Journey to find his women...but first he must find Will. Just then he saw will, he was trying his hardest to be a tough guy. Jack ran to him and pushed him behind a building.
"Will, you must come with me!" Jack yelled.
"Okay! They took my cuddle bear!" Will cried falling to his knees. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Than we must go get her back!" Jack yelled. Will stood up and nodded.
"Very true...let's go!" Jack said hurriedly.
Jack and Will got a crew and set sail on the black pearl to find Elizabeth....and Scarlet/Giselle.
They were walking along to the docks quite nicely when a tall blonde haired blued eyed, and pointy eared man with really shiny hair that looked like will and was dressed in very odd outfit walked up to them and gave Jack a bottle of shampoo. Then he put his hands up into his hair.
"Yes, yes yes YES YEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" while he was rubbing his hands into it and shaking his hair out. Then he walked away. Jack looked at the shampoo bottle, but since he didn't really know how to read, he shrugged and gave it to Will. Will opened it up to a big wiff and poured it all over Jacks head.
"There you go Jack, you smell nice and pretty now."
"Thank you Will." Jack replied. What he didn't know was that it was Herbal Essence for curly, dry. And color treated hair.
A few hours later they were on a ship heading for Tortuga. And Jacks hair was turning blonde and afro portion curly. But he didn't notice.
At least, he didn't notice until a man with cheese on his head came up and put cheese on his head. Then lit it on fire.
This voyage was not looking very good at a start.
(Shimmergloom) tune next time for chapter three!
"Mr. Sparrow, who are you running from?" asked the brown hair woman.
"Could it be a small psycho midget with serious issues?" asked the other, notcing his odd colorment.
"Who are ye?" asked Jack.
"we are Penelope" she motioned to the blond, "and Sassy."
"okay, why are we here?" Jack asked confused.
"We are two women who are trying to find United Preppy Savages." Sassy replied.
"Who are they?" asked Jack
"Preppies." Replied Penelope.
"We need to be going now sir, excuse us." Penelope said pushing past Jack. The two women walked off into the sun set. Jack stood there confused. He was still happy that his butt wasn't on fire and that midget wasn't around.
But that name ran a small bell in his head.
Scarlet and Giselle! Oh no! Why them? He groaned.
"Wait! I know someone that can help." The two women looked back at him. "This way." He said and walked back to the town he left.
It was still broad daylight and a street band in the corner wearing pink nylons and green waistcoats were playing a very creepy tune.
"THERE HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!" Annabel Rocks said. "Get him!" she pointed to Jack His eyes went wide and he ran smack into Penelope and Sassy, knocking them down. "Apologize at once!" She screamed.
"I'm terribly sorry-"he began.
"There they are, the leaders of the United Preppy Savages gang." Sassy yelled, pointing to Scarlet and Giselle. The band began to play the Can- Can.
Scarlet and Giselle took off running and Sassy and Penelope went after them knocking over Jack in the process Jack fell on top of Annabel Rocks and she tipped over a book shelf with rum on it and the dominoes effect started as it knocked over another book shelf and that knocked over another one.
Annabel chided Jack quickly and ran off to follow the two women and teach them some manners.
The two women, however were currently doing a belly dance contest between Scarlet and Giselle on top of the Black Smith shop. So Annabel ran into the black smith shop, knocked over will who had a flaming brand in his had, the brand went flying out the door, skimming over Jack's head-but lighting his orange hair on fire.
"Jack sniffed and rolled his eyes up, "Oh no." he whispered ,"YAAAAAHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. "He howled as he ran into a talking cactus playing a violin.
"Take your partner by the ears lash him to will, doc e do, turn the wheel listen to them squeal." As he was saying this a talking frog started to square dance with him.
"CAAbIN FEEEEEEEEVERRR!!!!!!!" Sassy said jumping down from the roof with Penelope following. Everyone was now in a circle around Jack (including will, not including Annabel Rocks) and wearing pink wraps, fruit on their head and coconut bikinis and doing the Macarena.
"What the bloody hell is going on here!" Jack exclaimed getting quite dizzy from everyone in the circle "stop!"
They stopped and looked at him laughing. Scarlet and Giselle walk closedto him and circle him. He became nervous and covered his manhood. Giselle had a small bole of rum in her hand. She poured it on Jacks head, this caused the color to come out of his skin. He now looked normal. Scarlet then stood next to Giselle and began kissing his neck. Giselle began on his pants...but then Giselle was grabbed around the neck by Sassy and Giselle was being pulled away by her hair by Penelope. Sassy and Penelope dragged them off into the sunset.
"No!" yelled Jack running toward after them, Will stepped in front of him.
"Wait!" Will said. "Someone is behind you."
Jack turned to see Mrs. Annabel Rocks. She was now in pirate clothing and looking extremely pissed off.
"Mr. Sparrow!" she yelled.
"Oh no!" Jack yelled.
"It is time for you spanking!" she yelled pointing at the ground.
"Alright." Jack replied. He knelled down and was on his hands and knees.
"That's good..." she sighed. She took out a wooden paddle and began spanking. "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six!...."
Will was standing there laughing like a maniac. Jack gave him a dirty look. Jack felt so embraced because half the town was watching it. Many were rolling on the ground laughing. Jack took out his pistol, (still being spanked.) and shot at someone's wig. Annabel was done.
"Alright Jack you may go play, but play nicely!" Annabel yelled eyeing him sternly.
"Yes ma'am." he said.
He got up and sadly noticed that the person who's wig he'd shot was Commodore Norrington. And because Jack was having such a horrible day; Norrington was running toward him threateningly.
Then Norrington stopped, realizing that he was still in a coconut bikini with a pink wrap around his waist. And Barbie flip flops. And Will stopped laughing as he realized that he too was in a coconut bikini and pink wrap, with fruit on his head.
"Huh?" Will said. "oh, well, I'm going to go back and make me two swords."
"And I'm going to find my shirt and underwear. Though I think I do look rather sliming in this. Don't you." Norrington said.
"Yes very sexy." Will replied and went back into the shop. Jack scratched his head.
"Elizabeth must have competition then." He commented. He heard five women laughing and turned around. There was Scarlet, Giselle-in corsets and pantaloons-Elizabeth-also in a corset and pantaloons, and Penelope and Sassy-wearing the breeches and off white shirts they were first in, commenting on the 101 uses for eggs.
"There he is!" Elizabeth shouted pointing at Jack. All five of them pulled out an object. Elizabeth had a rolling pen, Scarlet had cheese, Giselle had milk, Penelope had eggs and Sassy had flour.
"Holy-"he ran but tripped over Norrington's bikini and fell into a pile of horse manure. Gisele grabbed him by his shoulder and threw him on the table. Scarlet dumped a whole thing of grated cheese on him, Sassy dumped five galleons of flour on him Singing "Paddy Cake, Paddy cake." Giselle poured the milk over him and the flour turned all gooey, then Penelope chucked the eggs at his head and they all broke.
"EEEEEEEEEEEwwWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Jack squealed, "It's disgusting."
"Roll him dough." Elizabeth sang and smacked him over the head with the rolling pin.
"Then through him in the oven for daddy and me." They all sang together opening the hot black smith's door. Jack's eyes went wide.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAA AAAAAAAAAA*breath*AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAA" he stopped. Penelope handed him a mint.
"O, Barbie flavored." Jack said and swallowed the whole pack.
"Yes, Barbie is good ommmmmmmm." A man said in the corner. Jack turned. It was Barbossa wearing neon pink robes sitting cross legged on a toad stool with a pink cone hat with Barbie rocks on the front in sparkly letter with Barbie head sticking out the top.
"Lets have a part." Sassy said.
"Hey Barbie lets go party, ah ah ah ah...." Barbossa sang. He kept singing the whole song and everyone got up and did the disco. Then Scarlet took one of Jack's arms, Giselle took the other and they went skipping of in the sunset singing.
"Oh, were off to see the gizzard, the wonderful gizzard of it."
Jack finally came to his senses. He looked around at everyone and came To one conclusion...everyone had gone crazy. He began to try and walk away with out being noticed. It worked. He ran quickly down an alley and into a dark space to hide. But he wasn't alone. Annabel Rocks was right behind him. She pinched his butt. He yelped in surprise.
"Hello Mr. Sparrow. It seems everyone has gone completely crazy." She sighed angrily.
"Yes! Finally something we can agree on!" Jack yelled. "It's bad enough Barbossa is a Barbie freak...but all the singing!"
"It's bothersome." she said. Jack nodded. "Yes, Yes, it's quite annoying. But you must go back out there. You must go back out there and grab Giselle and Scarlet and bring them in here. That's your challenge."
"Okay." Jack sighed knowing that if her said know she'd probably give him a whippin'. he slugged his way back out to where everyone was. But it seemed that everything was back to normal. Barbossa was normally sending his goons to savagely pillage Port Royal, he saw that Elizabeth was being hog tied and thrown in a bag then being carried to Barbossa's new ship. 'The Smelly Golden Vomit Launcher'. But he couldn't find Scarlet or Giselle.
Now Jack must go on a Journey to find his women...but first he must find Will. Just then he saw will, he was trying his hardest to be a tough guy. Jack ran to him and pushed him behind a building.
"Will, you must come with me!" Jack yelled.
"Okay! They took my cuddle bear!" Will cried falling to his knees. Jack rolled his eyes.
"Than we must go get her back!" Jack yelled. Will stood up and nodded.
"Very true...let's go!" Jack said hurriedly.
Jack and Will got a crew and set sail on the black pearl to find Elizabeth....and Scarlet/Giselle.
They were walking along to the docks quite nicely when a tall blonde haired blued eyed, and pointy eared man with really shiny hair that looked like will and was dressed in very odd outfit walked up to them and gave Jack a bottle of shampoo. Then he put his hands up into his hair.
"Yes, yes yes YES YEEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!" while he was rubbing his hands into it and shaking his hair out. Then he walked away. Jack looked at the shampoo bottle, but since he didn't really know how to read, he shrugged and gave it to Will. Will opened it up to a big wiff and poured it all over Jacks head.
"There you go Jack, you smell nice and pretty now."
"Thank you Will." Jack replied. What he didn't know was that it was Herbal Essence for curly, dry. And color treated hair.
A few hours later they were on a ship heading for Tortuga. And Jacks hair was turning blonde and afro portion curly. But he didn't notice.
At least, he didn't notice until a man with cheese on his head came up and put cheese on his head. Then lit it on fire.
This voyage was not looking very good at a start.
(Shimmergloom) tune next time for chapter three!