If I could buy the characters of the OC I would, but I highly doubt Fox and
Josh Schwartz would sell them to me. I'm currently whacked out on cold
medication and anti depressants so this chapter serves as a segue to what
is going on in my pharmaceutical addled mind. Miserable kids, they weren't
supposed to make me sick, they were just supposed to keep their hacking,
coughing, sneezing and wheezing to themselves.
Of course, all disclaimers apply and no currency has exchanged hands.
Chapter Twelve
Dr. Rodriguez looked up from her notes and made a motion for Sandy and Kirsten to sit down.
"What are you expecting therapy will accomplish for Ryan?"
The Cohens were startled at the doctor's brusque manner. Kirsten looked at the doctor and ugly suit aside, she was not getting a good feeling from her.
"I beg your pardon..?"
Dr. Rodriguez looked at Kirsten and spoke slower.
"What....are.....you......expecting....therapy......will..... accomplish.....for.....Ryan?"
45 seconds into the meeting and Kirsten was ready to rip Dr. Rodriguez' face off. Sandy held onto Kirsten's hand, squeezing it in an attempt to calm his wife down.
"Dr. Rodriguez, the only thing we're expecting is that Ryan will be able to deal with issues from his past and move forward.....We're not looking for a bandaid solution to cover the crap he's had to deal with....we want him to come to terms with it....we want..."
Dr. Rodriguez held up her hand, silencing Sandy. She turned back to Kirsten.
"Does he always speak for you...?"
Kirsten exploded, all the emotions she had worked so hard to bottle up over the last 10 days shot out at Dr. Rodriguez like a guided missile.
"HOW DARE YOU! WE CAME TO YOU FOR HELP WITH OUR SON! WE ALMOST LOST RYAN AND SETH IN AN ACCIDENT SOMEONE ELSE CAUSED. NOW WE MIGHT LOSE RYAN ANYWAY BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE'S TRIED TO FORGET ABOUT HIS PAST IS COMING BACK TO HIM AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM!......We can't just wave a magical wand and....make it all go away...."
Tears started to flow freely down Kirsten's face.
"We just want Ryan to....we want....."
Kirsten was unable to finish. Sandy held Kirsten and glared at the psychiatrist, his voice controlled and icy.
"You know what.....just forget it....We'll find someone else....we're sorry to have bothered you....."
Dr Rodriguez' demeanor changed.
"I apologize for upsetting you. I needed to know you were serious about Ryan's therapy. I read the file you sent, and from what Joshua told me, this is not going to be a quick fix. The first step will be making Ryan comfortable with the whole idea of therapy. Judging from his physical condition, this isn't something you've had a chance to discuss with him...."
Sandy shook his head.
"Helping Ryan deal with his past is not going to be easy. It won't be pretty. Everything he's worked so hard at burying is going to have to be brought to the surface. He's going to get angry and he's not always going to know how to handle what comes out....I need to know that you can deal with this.....that you as a family are prepared for the emotional fallout..."
Kirsten regained her composure.
"Our family includes Ryan....We'll deal with whatever happens together..."
Dr. Rodriguez nodded.
"As his therapist all of our conversations will be privileged. The only time I will inform you of what was discussed will be if Ryan is in danger of hurting himself or someone else. He needs to know that he can tell me anything without fear of reprisal or reprimand....Does he have a safe haven in the house....a place he can go to be alone if he needs it....."
Kirsten looked at the doctor.
"He sleeps in the pool house....."
Kirsten faltered, realizing how strange that sounded.
Sandy cautiously finished the sentence for her, not wanting a repeat of Dr. Rodriguez' sarcastic remark about him speaking for Kirsten.
"When Ryan first came to stay with us, it was only going to be for a couple of days so he stayed in the pool house...It's more of a guest house.....We never really used it much. After we became his legal guardians we wanted to give him a room in the main house, but he said he liked it out there.....It's actually become an extension of our house. We think of it more as Ryan's room as opposed to a pool house..."
The doctor looked at both of them.
"I saw Ryan earlier this morning as you know. After you left he had a nightmare. The nurse told me he's been having them frequently since he regained consciousness."
Sandy's face became solemn.
"He had 3 last night and now 1 this morning....From what I can tell and what he can tell me about them is they're always about the same thing. All he remembers is that he's being held down and he can't wake up....."
"Does this dream have anything to do with the episode he had a few days ago when your father came to visit...?"
Kirsten answered.
"We think so....We...we weren't here when it happened but from what my dad and Seth told us, Ryan panicked when he saw my dad....He thought my dad was there to.....was going to.....I can't even say it out loud...."
"It's okay....Joshua called me for a consultation after it happened. He filled me in on the details as he understood them."
Sandy looked perplexed.
"..Joshua....Who's Joshua?"
Dr Rodriguez qualified her statement.
"Dr. Meyers...He called me and asked if I would be willing to take Ryan as a patient if you contacted me. I wasn't sure I was going to until I met him this morning. Once I made up my mind I would help him, I needed to know how committed you two were. Therapy will only help your son if I have your complete co-operation. You need to be in this for the duration. I do not want to be second guessed during treatment and I'm not going to be your friend. I won't tell you things just to make you feel better. I won't stroke your ego, but I will tell you the truth and I will help Ryan get better...
Ryan stood under the shower, letting the warm water run over his shoulders. He was momentarily startled when he went to wash his hair, but instead of feeling it he felt bare skin and a raised scar. He carefully shifted positions and let the water cascade over his chest and torso. It felt so good to be able to do something as simple as take a shower.
"Are you okay in there Sugar....?"
Ryan smiled.
"Yeah..."
"I'm giving you 5 more minutes Sugar. If you're not done I'll have to come in and get you...."
" 'Kay......"
Ryan finished rinsing himself off, holding onto the hand rail. He shut the water off, wiping water from his face with his hand. He looked for the grab bar to steady himself as he took a couple of unsure steps to where his clean clothes were. Toweling himself off, he sat down in a chair. He looked at the incisions on his chest. A neat row of surgical staples held it closed. Small black stitches closed the site of his central IV. He looked at the old scars dotting his arms and ran his fingers down the scar on his left forearm. More scars for the collection. Ryan was determined to get dressed by himself before Maggie, the nurses aide came in. He just finished pulling his sweatpants over his still damp legs when she came in.
"Sugar..I thought you were going to let me help you get dressed...." she said in her pronounced southern drawl. "At least let me help you with your shirt.."
Ryan held his breath as Maggie eased a white t-shirt over his head. She smoothed his shirt down and placed his walker in front of him.
Ryan smiled at Maggie as he pulled himself up.....his ribs painfully reminding him to take it slow. With her hand on his arm, she guided Ryan back to his bed. He slowly sat on the edge of it and swung his legs up. Turning, he leaned back and sighed.
"Th-th-thank-you...feel better now..."
Maggie smiled back.
"Sugar, those baby blues of yours make me wish I was 50 years younger...."
"So, how long have you known Ryan...?"
Oliver and Marissa were sitting outside a small restaurant on the pier. Marissa played with her French fries. Oliver watched her intently.
"I don't know...6 months maybe...."
Oliver smiled, his eyes boring holes into Marissa's head.
"How'd you guys meet..?"
"He was staying with the Cohen's for a couple of days.....I thought he was their cousin from Boston...."
"And...."
Marissa looked up at Oliver.
"And what....?"
Oliver's eyes flickered and his too bright smile faded slightly.
"I'll tell you all about Natalie if you tell me all about Ryan..."
Marissa picked up a French fry, swirled it in ketchup and put it down again.
"Well, he wasn't their cousin from Boston, he was a ...um.....a client of Sandy's...."
"Sandy's..?"
"Mr. Cohen....He's a...he was a public defender. He works for a big law firm now....Ryan was....."
Marissa was unsure if she should continue. Oliver patted her hand reassuringly.
"It's okay....You don't have to tell me if it's some big secret....."
Marissa shook her head.
"No....It's not a secret.....It's pretty much common knowledge....It's all anybody talked about when Sandy first brought him into the community..."
"Well then....Shouldn't I hear the truth instead of gossip...?"
Oliver's smile broadened but his eyes still flickered.
"I guess it's okay...Ryan was arrested in Chino when his brother stole a car. Sandy was Ryan's lawyer. After Sandy got him out of jail, Ryan's mom's boyfriend beat him up and then she threw him out. He stayed with the Cohen's for the weekend, but for some reason Sandy drove him back to his mom's house on the Sunday morning, but his mom moved out. Nobody knew where she went. His dad was in jail, his brother was in jail, so Sandy brought him back to his house until he could reach child services the next day..."
"That's rough....." Oliver tried to sound sincere. He wanted as much information on Ryan as possible.
Marissa continued.
"Ryan didn't want to go into foster care so he tried taking off that night. Seth, the Cohen's son and I tried to hide him in Kirsten Cohen's housing development. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but the house burned down and Ryan was arrested again. Kirsten ended up dropping all the charges and got him out of juvenile hall. Sandy found his mom and brought her back, but she ended up getting drunk and she left him again. The Cohen's took legal custody of him and he's been living with them ever since...."
"You know what....?" Oliver asked, his smile hiding the venom in his eyes. "I think we should visit Ryan in the hospital...I'm sure he'll be happy to see you....."
Marissa hesitated.
"I ...I don't know if that's a good idea...I mean, he's not talking very well....Kirsten said he has speech aphasia...and....and the doctor's had him restrained to the bed the last time I was there....."
"Jackpot!!" Oliver thought.
"Well, I think a visit would be just the thing to cheer him up..don't you?"
Kirsten and Sandy visited Ryan after enjoying a leisurely lunch. They tried to come up with the best way to broach the subject of therapy with Ryan. Ultimately they decided there was no best way, so they would tip-toe around the subject until they could talk about it.
Ryan's eyes were closed as they entered his room. An empty lunch tray sat on his bedside table. Kirsten's copy of "A Prayer For Owen Meany" lay on his chest. As Kirsten removed the book, Ryan opened his eyes.
"Hey...."
Sandy smiled.
"Hey to you too.....How're you feeling....?"
Ryan yawned."
'M'okay....sleepy book made me...."
Ryan looked at Kirsten. "S-s-s-seth tell me your fav.....favourite book...it..it's good....lot's thinking..."
Kirsten put the book on the nightstand.
"It's one of those books where you can read it over again and always find something new in it...Something you didn't see the first time....So.....How did your morning go....?"
Ryan shrugged.
" 'Kay....walk better...no IV..in hand 'more....had shower...read book....get pain shot in butt....Want go home.....?"
The last part of the statement was more of a question. Sandy sat on the edge of the bed.
"We met with the doctors yesterday and they think if you continue to do as well as you have been, they're going to let you come home in about a week.... You'll have physio and speech therapy on an out patient basis..."
Sandy stopped, unsure of how to continue.....He looked at Kirsten for support. Ryan watched the two of them.
"S-s-s-something....else...?"
Kirsten picked up where Sandy left off, trying to choose her words carefully.
"There's one other doctor we'd like you to see....Her name is Dr. Rodriguez....She's....."
"You th-th-think I crazy now...?"
Ryan's eyes flashed painfully. Kirsten gently cupped Ryan's face in her hands.
"No way..no how...but you've been having nightmares and it's happening more and more. There are things in your past you need to deal with and Sandy and I aren't equipped to help you..I don't even think you want us to know what those things are. You've always tried to protect us from them.....the only thing we can do is to arrange for you to talk to someone..."
"Talk don't make go 'way". Ryan said in a soft voice, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Sandy and Kirsten. Sandy leaned in closer.
"Talking to Dr. Rodriguez might help you move on....It could make the nightmares stop..."
Ryan opened his eyes.
"She tell you what I say....?"
"No...that's the deal....whatever you say to her, what ever you talk about stays with her...It's confidential.."
Ryan slowly nodded his head.
" 'Kay..."
Of course, all disclaimers apply and no currency has exchanged hands.
Chapter Twelve
Dr. Rodriguez looked up from her notes and made a motion for Sandy and Kirsten to sit down.
"What are you expecting therapy will accomplish for Ryan?"
The Cohens were startled at the doctor's brusque manner. Kirsten looked at the doctor and ugly suit aside, she was not getting a good feeling from her.
"I beg your pardon..?"
Dr. Rodriguez looked at Kirsten and spoke slower.
"What....are.....you......expecting....therapy......will..... accomplish.....for.....Ryan?"
45 seconds into the meeting and Kirsten was ready to rip Dr. Rodriguez' face off. Sandy held onto Kirsten's hand, squeezing it in an attempt to calm his wife down.
"Dr. Rodriguez, the only thing we're expecting is that Ryan will be able to deal with issues from his past and move forward.....We're not looking for a bandaid solution to cover the crap he's had to deal with....we want him to come to terms with it....we want..."
Dr. Rodriguez held up her hand, silencing Sandy. She turned back to Kirsten.
"Does he always speak for you...?"
Kirsten exploded, all the emotions she had worked so hard to bottle up over the last 10 days shot out at Dr. Rodriguez like a guided missile.
"HOW DARE YOU! WE CAME TO YOU FOR HELP WITH OUR SON! WE ALMOST LOST RYAN AND SETH IN AN ACCIDENT SOMEONE ELSE CAUSED. NOW WE MIGHT LOSE RYAN ANYWAY BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE'S TRIED TO FORGET ABOUT HIS PAST IS COMING BACK TO HIM AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP HIM!......We can't just wave a magical wand and....make it all go away...."
Tears started to flow freely down Kirsten's face.
"We just want Ryan to....we want....."
Kirsten was unable to finish. Sandy held Kirsten and glared at the psychiatrist, his voice controlled and icy.
"You know what.....just forget it....We'll find someone else....we're sorry to have bothered you....."
Dr Rodriguez' demeanor changed.
"I apologize for upsetting you. I needed to know you were serious about Ryan's therapy. I read the file you sent, and from what Joshua told me, this is not going to be a quick fix. The first step will be making Ryan comfortable with the whole idea of therapy. Judging from his physical condition, this isn't something you've had a chance to discuss with him...."
Sandy shook his head.
"Helping Ryan deal with his past is not going to be easy. It won't be pretty. Everything he's worked so hard at burying is going to have to be brought to the surface. He's going to get angry and he's not always going to know how to handle what comes out....I need to know that you can deal with this.....that you as a family are prepared for the emotional fallout..."
Kirsten regained her composure.
"Our family includes Ryan....We'll deal with whatever happens together..."
Dr. Rodriguez nodded.
"As his therapist all of our conversations will be privileged. The only time I will inform you of what was discussed will be if Ryan is in danger of hurting himself or someone else. He needs to know that he can tell me anything without fear of reprisal or reprimand....Does he have a safe haven in the house....a place he can go to be alone if he needs it....."
Kirsten looked at the doctor.
"He sleeps in the pool house....."
Kirsten faltered, realizing how strange that sounded.
Sandy cautiously finished the sentence for her, not wanting a repeat of Dr. Rodriguez' sarcastic remark about him speaking for Kirsten.
"When Ryan first came to stay with us, it was only going to be for a couple of days so he stayed in the pool house...It's more of a guest house.....We never really used it much. After we became his legal guardians we wanted to give him a room in the main house, but he said he liked it out there.....It's actually become an extension of our house. We think of it more as Ryan's room as opposed to a pool house..."
The doctor looked at both of them.
"I saw Ryan earlier this morning as you know. After you left he had a nightmare. The nurse told me he's been having them frequently since he regained consciousness."
Sandy's face became solemn.
"He had 3 last night and now 1 this morning....From what I can tell and what he can tell me about them is they're always about the same thing. All he remembers is that he's being held down and he can't wake up....."
"Does this dream have anything to do with the episode he had a few days ago when your father came to visit...?"
Kirsten answered.
"We think so....We...we weren't here when it happened but from what my dad and Seth told us, Ryan panicked when he saw my dad....He thought my dad was there to.....was going to.....I can't even say it out loud...."
"It's okay....Joshua called me for a consultation after it happened. He filled me in on the details as he understood them."
Sandy looked perplexed.
"..Joshua....Who's Joshua?"
Dr Rodriguez qualified her statement.
"Dr. Meyers...He called me and asked if I would be willing to take Ryan as a patient if you contacted me. I wasn't sure I was going to until I met him this morning. Once I made up my mind I would help him, I needed to know how committed you two were. Therapy will only help your son if I have your complete co-operation. You need to be in this for the duration. I do not want to be second guessed during treatment and I'm not going to be your friend. I won't tell you things just to make you feel better. I won't stroke your ego, but I will tell you the truth and I will help Ryan get better...
Ryan stood under the shower, letting the warm water run over his shoulders. He was momentarily startled when he went to wash his hair, but instead of feeling it he felt bare skin and a raised scar. He carefully shifted positions and let the water cascade over his chest and torso. It felt so good to be able to do something as simple as take a shower.
"Are you okay in there Sugar....?"
Ryan smiled.
"Yeah..."
"I'm giving you 5 more minutes Sugar. If you're not done I'll have to come in and get you...."
" 'Kay......"
Ryan finished rinsing himself off, holding onto the hand rail. He shut the water off, wiping water from his face with his hand. He looked for the grab bar to steady himself as he took a couple of unsure steps to where his clean clothes were. Toweling himself off, he sat down in a chair. He looked at the incisions on his chest. A neat row of surgical staples held it closed. Small black stitches closed the site of his central IV. He looked at the old scars dotting his arms and ran his fingers down the scar on his left forearm. More scars for the collection. Ryan was determined to get dressed by himself before Maggie, the nurses aide came in. He just finished pulling his sweatpants over his still damp legs when she came in.
"Sugar..I thought you were going to let me help you get dressed...." she said in her pronounced southern drawl. "At least let me help you with your shirt.."
Ryan held his breath as Maggie eased a white t-shirt over his head. She smoothed his shirt down and placed his walker in front of him.
Ryan smiled at Maggie as he pulled himself up.....his ribs painfully reminding him to take it slow. With her hand on his arm, she guided Ryan back to his bed. He slowly sat on the edge of it and swung his legs up. Turning, he leaned back and sighed.
"Th-th-thank-you...feel better now..."
Maggie smiled back.
"Sugar, those baby blues of yours make me wish I was 50 years younger...."
"So, how long have you known Ryan...?"
Oliver and Marissa were sitting outside a small restaurant on the pier. Marissa played with her French fries. Oliver watched her intently.
"I don't know...6 months maybe...."
Oliver smiled, his eyes boring holes into Marissa's head.
"How'd you guys meet..?"
"He was staying with the Cohen's for a couple of days.....I thought he was their cousin from Boston...."
"And...."
Marissa looked up at Oliver.
"And what....?"
Oliver's eyes flickered and his too bright smile faded slightly.
"I'll tell you all about Natalie if you tell me all about Ryan..."
Marissa picked up a French fry, swirled it in ketchup and put it down again.
"Well, he wasn't their cousin from Boston, he was a ...um.....a client of Sandy's...."
"Sandy's..?"
"Mr. Cohen....He's a...he was a public defender. He works for a big law firm now....Ryan was....."
Marissa was unsure if she should continue. Oliver patted her hand reassuringly.
"It's okay....You don't have to tell me if it's some big secret....."
Marissa shook her head.
"No....It's not a secret.....It's pretty much common knowledge....It's all anybody talked about when Sandy first brought him into the community..."
"Well then....Shouldn't I hear the truth instead of gossip...?"
Oliver's smile broadened but his eyes still flickered.
"I guess it's okay...Ryan was arrested in Chino when his brother stole a car. Sandy was Ryan's lawyer. After Sandy got him out of jail, Ryan's mom's boyfriend beat him up and then she threw him out. He stayed with the Cohen's for the weekend, but for some reason Sandy drove him back to his mom's house on the Sunday morning, but his mom moved out. Nobody knew where she went. His dad was in jail, his brother was in jail, so Sandy brought him back to his house until he could reach child services the next day..."
"That's rough....." Oliver tried to sound sincere. He wanted as much information on Ryan as possible.
Marissa continued.
"Ryan didn't want to go into foster care so he tried taking off that night. Seth, the Cohen's son and I tried to hide him in Kirsten Cohen's housing development. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but the house burned down and Ryan was arrested again. Kirsten ended up dropping all the charges and got him out of juvenile hall. Sandy found his mom and brought her back, but she ended up getting drunk and she left him again. The Cohen's took legal custody of him and he's been living with them ever since...."
"You know what....?" Oliver asked, his smile hiding the venom in his eyes. "I think we should visit Ryan in the hospital...I'm sure he'll be happy to see you....."
Marissa hesitated.
"I ...I don't know if that's a good idea...I mean, he's not talking very well....Kirsten said he has speech aphasia...and....and the doctor's had him restrained to the bed the last time I was there....."
"Jackpot!!" Oliver thought.
"Well, I think a visit would be just the thing to cheer him up..don't you?"
Kirsten and Sandy visited Ryan after enjoying a leisurely lunch. They tried to come up with the best way to broach the subject of therapy with Ryan. Ultimately they decided there was no best way, so they would tip-toe around the subject until they could talk about it.
Ryan's eyes were closed as they entered his room. An empty lunch tray sat on his bedside table. Kirsten's copy of "A Prayer For Owen Meany" lay on his chest. As Kirsten removed the book, Ryan opened his eyes.
"Hey...."
Sandy smiled.
"Hey to you too.....How're you feeling....?"
Ryan yawned."
'M'okay....sleepy book made me...."
Ryan looked at Kirsten. "S-s-s-seth tell me your fav.....favourite book...it..it's good....lot's thinking..."
Kirsten put the book on the nightstand.
"It's one of those books where you can read it over again and always find something new in it...Something you didn't see the first time....So.....How did your morning go....?"
Ryan shrugged.
" 'Kay....walk better...no IV..in hand 'more....had shower...read book....get pain shot in butt....Want go home.....?"
The last part of the statement was more of a question. Sandy sat on the edge of the bed.
"We met with the doctors yesterday and they think if you continue to do as well as you have been, they're going to let you come home in about a week.... You'll have physio and speech therapy on an out patient basis..."
Sandy stopped, unsure of how to continue.....He looked at Kirsten for support. Ryan watched the two of them.
"S-s-s-something....else...?"
Kirsten picked up where Sandy left off, trying to choose her words carefully.
"There's one other doctor we'd like you to see....Her name is Dr. Rodriguez....She's....."
"You th-th-think I crazy now...?"
Ryan's eyes flashed painfully. Kirsten gently cupped Ryan's face in her hands.
"No way..no how...but you've been having nightmares and it's happening more and more. There are things in your past you need to deal with and Sandy and I aren't equipped to help you..I don't even think you want us to know what those things are. You've always tried to protect us from them.....the only thing we can do is to arrange for you to talk to someone..."
"Talk don't make go 'way". Ryan said in a soft voice, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Sandy and Kirsten. Sandy leaned in closer.
"Talking to Dr. Rodriguez might help you move on....It could make the nightmares stop..."
Ryan opened his eyes.
"She tell you what I say....?"
"No...that's the deal....whatever you say to her, what ever you talk about stays with her...It's confidential.."
Ryan slowly nodded his head.
" 'Kay..."