I have no clue as to where this story is going. I am merely a hostage to
the ramblings of my mind. Thank you so very much to all who have reviewed.
Your response has thrilled me to no end.
All legal matters have been addressed in the previous chapters but to
reiterate, don't own, don't sue, don't hate me because I'm Canadian.
Chapter Thirteen
Seth was starting to bounce off the walls. He was used to being alone. He had always been a self-proclaimed social outcast, but now that Ryan had given him his first real friendship, coupled with the realizations that not everyone in Newport was a pod person and that there was a whole world outside of his 4 walls, he didn't like being alone. He liked his solitude yes, he did enjoy his own company, but being alone....? Seth sighed. Summer was volunteering at the hospital, Mom and Dad were in a meeting with a doctor, his grandfather had some business matters to take care of, Marissa was with Oliver.....who the hell was Oliver anyway.....? None of these thoughts answered the burning question of how he was going to get to the hospital to see Ryan.
In an "aha!.........light bulb over his head moment" Seth ran to his bedroom and searched his dresser drawers and nightstand. He counted all the change he found. That, added to the 5 bucks in his wallet would be enough to get a cab to the hospital. He made sure he had his debit card so he could hit a bank machine later. He quickly changed into the vintage Ramones t-shirt that Ryan had given him for Christmukkah. He was thrilled it hadn't been ruined in the crash. He had actually refused treatment until the ER staff promised him they wouldn't cut the shirt off. He threw new copies of Legion and Titans in his knapsack and scooped up the pile of change into his pocket. Grabbing his pack, he went into the kitchen. He was just about to call for a cab when he heard the front door open. He walked into the foyer, phone in hand.
"Hey mom......Even better....."
"Why....?" Kirsten deadpanned. "Were you expecting your father?"
"Hey, another 3 letter word for hilarious....M-O-M....save that one for later. Has everyone grown a sense of humour now....? I need a ride to see Ryan....."
"Okay, one second Seth....I have to get a few things for Ryan...."
Seth followed his mom into the pool house.
"Did you spring the idea of a shrink on Ryan?"
Kirsten stopped and put her hands on her hips.
"Therapist Seth, and yes we did. He was surprisingly under-whelmed about it...but.....he did agree to go."
Kirsten opened the pool house door and walked in. She stood there a moment with Seth right behind her. She couldn't bring herself to go in there since the accident, but it was like she was seeing it for the very first time. It seemed so empty, so devoid of life. Ryan was always obsessively neat. School books were neatly piled largest to smallest on his desk. His CD collection, growing thanks to his job at the Crab Shack were placed alphabetically by genre and artist in CD racks, all lined up perfectly straight. Nothing was out of order. Books on the bookcase were also sorted alphabetically. The boy was a living, breathing Dewey decimal system. But without Ryan in the room, the pool house was once again just a pool house, not a part of their family home.
Kirsten reached down to the nightstand and picked up the family Christmukkah card that she had framed and given to Ryan in his stocking. His smile was so genuine...all of theirs were.....it was like the family was complete.....
Seth put his arms around his mom and whispered
"He'll be home in a few days..."
Kirsten smiled and gave Seth a kiss on his forehead. He used to hate that before Ryan came into their lives. There was something about Ryan that allowed Sandy and Kirsten to re-connect with Seth, to cut through the typical teenaged aloofness that plagued most kids, something that brought Seth out of himself.
Kirsten moved to the closet. Seth had flopped on the bed, wrinkling the perfectly straight covers. As Kirsten peered into the closet a flash of colour caught her eyes. She looked up and saw the Christmas presents sent from Dawn and Trey, still wrapped, sitting on the top shelf.
She had so wanted to spoil Ryan this holiday, but she knew he would already be uncomfortable enough, so she restrained herself, buying him some clothes from Gap and Campus Crew, some books and a discman. Ryan looked shell- shocked Christmas morning, his eyes conveying the gratitude that his mouth could not.
He had shyly brought forth the gifts he had bought for them. The vintage Ramones t-shirt that stunned Seth into speechlessness. A Solomon Burke album for Sandy....not a CD but an honest to goodness vinyl record. Sandy held it like it was the Holy Grail as he fingered the shrink wrap.
"How.......Where did you find this....?"
Ryan had just shrugged and gave Sandy a half smile. His smile faded as he hesitatingly gave Kirsten her present. Kirsten remembered the small box, carefully wrapped; the corners perfect angles held together with double sided tape. Ryan had watched her intently as she carefully pulled on the ribbon, it falling lightly into her lap. Ryan's eyes never left hers as she slowly unwrapped the box. Opening it, she pulled out a small porcelain music box. It was so delicate looking. Kirsten lifted the lid and strains of Schumann's "Dreaming" filled the room. Tears filled her eyes. How did Ryan remember that Kirsten's mother would play that on the piano for her when she was small and couldn't fall asleep....She knew she mentioned it once when she found Ryan sitting in a deck chair unable to sleep but.....
"I'm sorry......I didn't mean to upset you....." Ryan said in a small voice.
Kirsten had reached over and pulled Ryan into a hug. It was the first time she had done that. She knew that Ryan was uncomfortable with that much physical contact, but she wanted him to know how much his gift meant to her. He didn't flinch at her touch, but it took a moment for him to return the hug. It was a perfect day.....
Kirsten sighed....That day seemed like a life time ago.....
"Mom!.........What's wrong....Did the monsters get you?"
Seth was now standing beside Kirsten, looking into Ryan's closet.
"Okay...no monsters living here.....they're probably scared of this closet. You know....I think they medicate for being this neat...."
Shirts were grouped together according to style. Colours went from darkest to lightest. Jeans were separated from twill. Kirsten smiled and looked at Seth.
"You could learn something from Ryan's example..."
Seth snorted.
"Yeah right.....It's easy to be this organized when one lacks diversity in their wardrobe. I mean it's a good look for Ryan, but it's a little too bland for yours truly....."
Kirsten closed the closet door.
"Seth, I think we're going to have to pick up some sweats for Ryan at the mall..."
"But Mom......"
"Seth....we could spend a couple hours together....You could check out an electronics store....."
Seth rolled his eyes and then became serious.
"We just finished Christmukkah and although I hate it when Christmukkah ends, there is absolutely nothing else I want.....The only thing I need is for Ryan to come home....."
Kirsten put her arms around her son and kissed the top of his curly head. Although this years holiday celebration had been considerable scaled down from the gift extravaganza it had been in the past, this holiday had been the most satisfying, the most joyful since Seth's first one when they were living in Berkeley. They struggled financially at the time with Sandy as a struggling law clerk, but there was so much joy and laughter in their small apartment as they watched Seth play with the boxes and torn wrapping paper, leaving his gifts unexplored for a couple of days....
* * * *
Ryan closed his eyes as he lay back on the bed. The physio therapist just finished taking him on a tour around the floor. Ryan was becoming proficient with the walker and the therapist told Ryan that he'd be trading in the walker for a cane the next day. Sandy had watched for a few minutes before his pager had gone off. It was one of the lawyers from the firm, needing some more information on a case she had taken over for Sandy after Ryan's accident.
Ryan insisted that Sandy go and take care of business. Now as he lay back in bed he let his mind close. He became aware of someone leaning over him. Ryan opened his eyes and saw Marissa standing there with some guy.
"Hey Ryan.....I hope we didn't wake you...."
Marissa leaned further in and kissed Ryan's cheek. As she straightened up, her head knocked Ryan's hat, exposing his shaved head and brutal scar. Marissa recoiled. There was an uncomfortable silence before she recovered.
"Ryan...this is Oliver......he wanted to meet you...."
Oliver flashed his too bright smile.
"Nice to meet you.....Marissa's told me all about you......"
There was something about Oliver that Ryan didn't like, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"H-h-h-ey...." Ryan managed to stammer out. "Y-y-y-you f-f-f-riend.... 'Rissa.....?"
Damn! Why wouldn't his mouth co-operate. Ryan saw the look of disappointment on Marissa's face. Oliver did as well.
"Yeah...I've know Marissa for a little while......we have some things in common."
Oliver was not about to divulge that he met Marissa in the waiting room of a therapist's office. Marissa nervously fingered her cast before she made an excuse to call her dad. She left the room, tears in her eyes.
Oliver's eyes followed Marissa out the door. He turned back to Ryan, his smile forced.....his eyes cold.
"So Marissa tells me you're the Cohen's pet charitable cause.....I've got to hand it to you 'cause you've scored yourself one sweet deal, but don't you ever wonder what's going to happen when they've had enough of you? I mean.....your own mother didn't want you......"
Ryan stared at Oliver, his mind trying to wrap around the garbage Oliver was speaking....It was garbage wasn't it....?
"Y-y-y-you know m-m-me don't....."
SHIT! Why couldn't his words come out right...?
Oliver laughed cruelly.
"You sound like a retard....like some head case.....Marissa deserves so much better than you and I'm going to give it to her......She's only using you to get back at her mother....."
Before he could finish his taunt, Marissa came back into the room, her eyes red and puffy. Despite the obvious fact she had been crying, Marissa was composed and she held Ryan's hand.
"I talked to my dad.....I have to go and pack up my stuff...We're moving back into our house.....We'll be neighbours again and I can come over anytime I want....Isn't that great?"
Ryan could only nod. Marissa bent down and gave Ryan a tender kiss on the lips. She then lifted Ryan's hat. She gently covered the top of his head with kisses and put his baseball hat back down.
"I hope that makes it feel better....I'll see you soon..."
Oliver added
"I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other...."
Ryan gave Marissa a small wave and then closed his eyes, not wanting to see Oliver's Chesire cat grin. He felt the pain start behind his eyes again, building until it became white hot. He closed his eyes tighter and clenched his shaking hands into tight fists, waiting for the pain to subside. Tears escaped out of his eyes, despite his attempts to hold them back. The pain had disappeared as quickly as it started. Unclenching his fists he quickly wiped the tears away. He fights to control his breathing, trying not to aggravate his broken ribs.
"Are you okay.....?"
Ryan opened his eyes. Caleb Nichol was standing at the foot of the bed.
"Yeah..... 'm okay....."
Ryan's mind started to race. He fought to push back the things Oliver had said to him. He didn't know this ass hat so why would it matter what he thought. But still.....Is that what Marissa thought too? Oliver had managed to zero in on Ryan's self-doubts and twist them. It took a few moments to cram his thoughts into the box in his mind, the lock now straining to keep everything contained.
Caleb stepped forward and sat in a chair beside the bed. Ryan looked at Seth's grandfather curiously.
Caleb cleared his throat.
"I wanted to see how you were doing. Seth told me you were doing well...that you're walking now.....That's great.....You'll be home soon...."
Ryan nodded, not trusting his voice. If someone he'd just met thought he sounded like a....what would Caleb think?
Caleb got up and pulled a large hard-cover book out of a bag and handed it to Ryan.
The shaking in Ryan's hands had subsided somewhat but they still trembled as he held the book. It was a book on architecture and design.
"Kirsten told me you're interested in becoming an architect....."
Ryan looked up at Caleb.
"Yeah...y-yes.."
Caleb smiled.
"Good....We need one of those in the family..."
Ryan was unsure how to respond. Caleb used the words home and family....(pet charitable cause....what will happen when they've had enough ... Oliver's voice screamed out from the locked box inside his brain).
"I should go..I just wanted to see for myself that you're doing better...."
Caleb got up.
Ryan focused his mental energy.
"Thanks f-for the b-book..."
Caleb nodded and left the room. He hurried down the corridor and escaped into his Jag. Starting the engine, he felt the cool breeze provided by the air conditioner. He opened the small humidor on the console between the front seats and pulled out a Macanudo Ascot. He unwrapped it, tipped it with the guillotine and lit it. The sweetly pungent smoke from the small hand-wrapped Dominican cigar filled his lungs and his car. Caleb savoured it and then exhaled.
"Well, that visit went much better than the last one...."
* * *
Ryan's mind was working overtime. His mental box of self doubt, repressed memories and emotional time bombs was breaking at the seams. He forced himself to take slow deep breaths. Ignoring the pain, he closed his eyes and began to mentally construct a bigger, stronger box. To the outside world, it may have looked like he was sleeping, but Ryan was working frantically, desperately trying to build the box...no.....more like a vault....The building continued at a frenetic pace. Outwardly Ryan's breathing slowed and his eyes were now open but vacant.
Shut down was complete.
Paul came in with Ryan's dinner tray. Kirsten and Seth had been watching Ryan for the past hour. At first they had thought he had merely fallen asleep with his eyes open. Teenagers were notorious for doing that, especially during a long winded lecture, but it had now been over an hour and Ryan was still unresponsive. Paul put down the tray and flashed a light in Ryan's eyes. There was no reaction....He took Ryan's blood pressure and temperature, both falling within normal range.
"Ryan....can you hear me....?"
Ryan heard him. He had heard Seth and Kirsten as well. He just couldn't stop the construction going on in his mind. The vault was almost finished, He needed to get it done before the box tore apart, spewing forth everything he'd worked so hard to contain. Every punch, every kick, every horrible thing ever done or said to Ryan were threatening to expose themselves. He had to finish...He needed to focus....Just a little more concrete left to be poured over the tightly woven rebar.
"Ryan..."
He smoothed the final bit of concrete into place with a trowel.
"Are you alright.......?"
Ryan's eyes came back into focus. He was greeted by the concerned looks of Kirsten, Seth and Paul.
Ryan spoke first.
"H-h-hey...."
Seth shook his head and spoke softly.
"Dude...where did you go....?"
Chapter Thirteen
Seth was starting to bounce off the walls. He was used to being alone. He had always been a self-proclaimed social outcast, but now that Ryan had given him his first real friendship, coupled with the realizations that not everyone in Newport was a pod person and that there was a whole world outside of his 4 walls, he didn't like being alone. He liked his solitude yes, he did enjoy his own company, but being alone....? Seth sighed. Summer was volunteering at the hospital, Mom and Dad were in a meeting with a doctor, his grandfather had some business matters to take care of, Marissa was with Oliver.....who the hell was Oliver anyway.....? None of these thoughts answered the burning question of how he was going to get to the hospital to see Ryan.
In an "aha!.........light bulb over his head moment" Seth ran to his bedroom and searched his dresser drawers and nightstand. He counted all the change he found. That, added to the 5 bucks in his wallet would be enough to get a cab to the hospital. He made sure he had his debit card so he could hit a bank machine later. He quickly changed into the vintage Ramones t-shirt that Ryan had given him for Christmukkah. He was thrilled it hadn't been ruined in the crash. He had actually refused treatment until the ER staff promised him they wouldn't cut the shirt off. He threw new copies of Legion and Titans in his knapsack and scooped up the pile of change into his pocket. Grabbing his pack, he went into the kitchen. He was just about to call for a cab when he heard the front door open. He walked into the foyer, phone in hand.
"Hey mom......Even better....."
"Why....?" Kirsten deadpanned. "Were you expecting your father?"
"Hey, another 3 letter word for hilarious....M-O-M....save that one for later. Has everyone grown a sense of humour now....? I need a ride to see Ryan....."
"Okay, one second Seth....I have to get a few things for Ryan...."
Seth followed his mom into the pool house.
"Did you spring the idea of a shrink on Ryan?"
Kirsten stopped and put her hands on her hips.
"Therapist Seth, and yes we did. He was surprisingly under-whelmed about it...but.....he did agree to go."
Kirsten opened the pool house door and walked in. She stood there a moment with Seth right behind her. She couldn't bring herself to go in there since the accident, but it was like she was seeing it for the very first time. It seemed so empty, so devoid of life. Ryan was always obsessively neat. School books were neatly piled largest to smallest on his desk. His CD collection, growing thanks to his job at the Crab Shack were placed alphabetically by genre and artist in CD racks, all lined up perfectly straight. Nothing was out of order. Books on the bookcase were also sorted alphabetically. The boy was a living, breathing Dewey decimal system. But without Ryan in the room, the pool house was once again just a pool house, not a part of their family home.
Kirsten reached down to the nightstand and picked up the family Christmukkah card that she had framed and given to Ryan in his stocking. His smile was so genuine...all of theirs were.....it was like the family was complete.....
Seth put his arms around his mom and whispered
"He'll be home in a few days..."
Kirsten smiled and gave Seth a kiss on his forehead. He used to hate that before Ryan came into their lives. There was something about Ryan that allowed Sandy and Kirsten to re-connect with Seth, to cut through the typical teenaged aloofness that plagued most kids, something that brought Seth out of himself.
Kirsten moved to the closet. Seth had flopped on the bed, wrinkling the perfectly straight covers. As Kirsten peered into the closet a flash of colour caught her eyes. She looked up and saw the Christmas presents sent from Dawn and Trey, still wrapped, sitting on the top shelf.
She had so wanted to spoil Ryan this holiday, but she knew he would already be uncomfortable enough, so she restrained herself, buying him some clothes from Gap and Campus Crew, some books and a discman. Ryan looked shell- shocked Christmas morning, his eyes conveying the gratitude that his mouth could not.
He had shyly brought forth the gifts he had bought for them. The vintage Ramones t-shirt that stunned Seth into speechlessness. A Solomon Burke album for Sandy....not a CD but an honest to goodness vinyl record. Sandy held it like it was the Holy Grail as he fingered the shrink wrap.
"How.......Where did you find this....?"
Ryan had just shrugged and gave Sandy a half smile. His smile faded as he hesitatingly gave Kirsten her present. Kirsten remembered the small box, carefully wrapped; the corners perfect angles held together with double sided tape. Ryan had watched her intently as she carefully pulled on the ribbon, it falling lightly into her lap. Ryan's eyes never left hers as she slowly unwrapped the box. Opening it, she pulled out a small porcelain music box. It was so delicate looking. Kirsten lifted the lid and strains of Schumann's "Dreaming" filled the room. Tears filled her eyes. How did Ryan remember that Kirsten's mother would play that on the piano for her when she was small and couldn't fall asleep....She knew she mentioned it once when she found Ryan sitting in a deck chair unable to sleep but.....
"I'm sorry......I didn't mean to upset you....." Ryan said in a small voice.
Kirsten had reached over and pulled Ryan into a hug. It was the first time she had done that. She knew that Ryan was uncomfortable with that much physical contact, but she wanted him to know how much his gift meant to her. He didn't flinch at her touch, but it took a moment for him to return the hug. It was a perfect day.....
Kirsten sighed....That day seemed like a life time ago.....
"Mom!.........What's wrong....Did the monsters get you?"
Seth was now standing beside Kirsten, looking into Ryan's closet.
"Okay...no monsters living here.....they're probably scared of this closet. You know....I think they medicate for being this neat...."
Shirts were grouped together according to style. Colours went from darkest to lightest. Jeans were separated from twill. Kirsten smiled and looked at Seth.
"You could learn something from Ryan's example..."
Seth snorted.
"Yeah right.....It's easy to be this organized when one lacks diversity in their wardrobe. I mean it's a good look for Ryan, but it's a little too bland for yours truly....."
Kirsten closed the closet door.
"Seth, I think we're going to have to pick up some sweats for Ryan at the mall..."
"But Mom......"
"Seth....we could spend a couple hours together....You could check out an electronics store....."
Seth rolled his eyes and then became serious.
"We just finished Christmukkah and although I hate it when Christmukkah ends, there is absolutely nothing else I want.....The only thing I need is for Ryan to come home....."
Kirsten put her arms around her son and kissed the top of his curly head. Although this years holiday celebration had been considerable scaled down from the gift extravaganza it had been in the past, this holiday had been the most satisfying, the most joyful since Seth's first one when they were living in Berkeley. They struggled financially at the time with Sandy as a struggling law clerk, but there was so much joy and laughter in their small apartment as they watched Seth play with the boxes and torn wrapping paper, leaving his gifts unexplored for a couple of days....
* * * *
Ryan closed his eyes as he lay back on the bed. The physio therapist just finished taking him on a tour around the floor. Ryan was becoming proficient with the walker and the therapist told Ryan that he'd be trading in the walker for a cane the next day. Sandy had watched for a few minutes before his pager had gone off. It was one of the lawyers from the firm, needing some more information on a case she had taken over for Sandy after Ryan's accident.
Ryan insisted that Sandy go and take care of business. Now as he lay back in bed he let his mind close. He became aware of someone leaning over him. Ryan opened his eyes and saw Marissa standing there with some guy.
"Hey Ryan.....I hope we didn't wake you...."
Marissa leaned further in and kissed Ryan's cheek. As she straightened up, her head knocked Ryan's hat, exposing his shaved head and brutal scar. Marissa recoiled. There was an uncomfortable silence before she recovered.
"Ryan...this is Oliver......he wanted to meet you...."
Oliver flashed his too bright smile.
"Nice to meet you.....Marissa's told me all about you......"
There was something about Oliver that Ryan didn't like, but he couldn't put his finger on it.
"H-h-h-ey...." Ryan managed to stammer out. "Y-y-y-you f-f-f-riend.... 'Rissa.....?"
Damn! Why wouldn't his mouth co-operate. Ryan saw the look of disappointment on Marissa's face. Oliver did as well.
"Yeah...I've know Marissa for a little while......we have some things in common."
Oliver was not about to divulge that he met Marissa in the waiting room of a therapist's office. Marissa nervously fingered her cast before she made an excuse to call her dad. She left the room, tears in her eyes.
Oliver's eyes followed Marissa out the door. He turned back to Ryan, his smile forced.....his eyes cold.
"So Marissa tells me you're the Cohen's pet charitable cause.....I've got to hand it to you 'cause you've scored yourself one sweet deal, but don't you ever wonder what's going to happen when they've had enough of you? I mean.....your own mother didn't want you......"
Ryan stared at Oliver, his mind trying to wrap around the garbage Oliver was speaking....It was garbage wasn't it....?
"Y-y-y-you know m-m-me don't....."
SHIT! Why couldn't his words come out right...?
Oliver laughed cruelly.
"You sound like a retard....like some head case.....Marissa deserves so much better than you and I'm going to give it to her......She's only using you to get back at her mother....."
Before he could finish his taunt, Marissa came back into the room, her eyes red and puffy. Despite the obvious fact she had been crying, Marissa was composed and she held Ryan's hand.
"I talked to my dad.....I have to go and pack up my stuff...We're moving back into our house.....We'll be neighbours again and I can come over anytime I want....Isn't that great?"
Ryan could only nod. Marissa bent down and gave Ryan a tender kiss on the lips. She then lifted Ryan's hat. She gently covered the top of his head with kisses and put his baseball hat back down.
"I hope that makes it feel better....I'll see you soon..."
Oliver added
"I'm sure we'll be seeing a lot more of each other...."
Ryan gave Marissa a small wave and then closed his eyes, not wanting to see Oliver's Chesire cat grin. He felt the pain start behind his eyes again, building until it became white hot. He closed his eyes tighter and clenched his shaking hands into tight fists, waiting for the pain to subside. Tears escaped out of his eyes, despite his attempts to hold them back. The pain had disappeared as quickly as it started. Unclenching his fists he quickly wiped the tears away. He fights to control his breathing, trying not to aggravate his broken ribs.
"Are you okay.....?"
Ryan opened his eyes. Caleb Nichol was standing at the foot of the bed.
"Yeah..... 'm okay....."
Ryan's mind started to race. He fought to push back the things Oliver had said to him. He didn't know this ass hat so why would it matter what he thought. But still.....Is that what Marissa thought too? Oliver had managed to zero in on Ryan's self-doubts and twist them. It took a few moments to cram his thoughts into the box in his mind, the lock now straining to keep everything contained.
Caleb stepped forward and sat in a chair beside the bed. Ryan looked at Seth's grandfather curiously.
Caleb cleared his throat.
"I wanted to see how you were doing. Seth told me you were doing well...that you're walking now.....That's great.....You'll be home soon...."
Ryan nodded, not trusting his voice. If someone he'd just met thought he sounded like a....what would Caleb think?
Caleb got up and pulled a large hard-cover book out of a bag and handed it to Ryan.
The shaking in Ryan's hands had subsided somewhat but they still trembled as he held the book. It was a book on architecture and design.
"Kirsten told me you're interested in becoming an architect....."
Ryan looked up at Caleb.
"Yeah...y-yes.."
Caleb smiled.
"Good....We need one of those in the family..."
Ryan was unsure how to respond. Caleb used the words home and family....(pet charitable cause....what will happen when they've had enough ... Oliver's voice screamed out from the locked box inside his brain).
"I should go..I just wanted to see for myself that you're doing better...."
Caleb got up.
Ryan focused his mental energy.
"Thanks f-for the b-book..."
Caleb nodded and left the room. He hurried down the corridor and escaped into his Jag. Starting the engine, he felt the cool breeze provided by the air conditioner. He opened the small humidor on the console between the front seats and pulled out a Macanudo Ascot. He unwrapped it, tipped it with the guillotine and lit it. The sweetly pungent smoke from the small hand-wrapped Dominican cigar filled his lungs and his car. Caleb savoured it and then exhaled.
"Well, that visit went much better than the last one...."
* * *
Ryan's mind was working overtime. His mental box of self doubt, repressed memories and emotional time bombs was breaking at the seams. He forced himself to take slow deep breaths. Ignoring the pain, he closed his eyes and began to mentally construct a bigger, stronger box. To the outside world, it may have looked like he was sleeping, but Ryan was working frantically, desperately trying to build the box...no.....more like a vault....The building continued at a frenetic pace. Outwardly Ryan's breathing slowed and his eyes were now open but vacant.
Shut down was complete.
Paul came in with Ryan's dinner tray. Kirsten and Seth had been watching Ryan for the past hour. At first they had thought he had merely fallen asleep with his eyes open. Teenagers were notorious for doing that, especially during a long winded lecture, but it had now been over an hour and Ryan was still unresponsive. Paul put down the tray and flashed a light in Ryan's eyes. There was no reaction....He took Ryan's blood pressure and temperature, both falling within normal range.
"Ryan....can you hear me....?"
Ryan heard him. He had heard Seth and Kirsten as well. He just couldn't stop the construction going on in his mind. The vault was almost finished, He needed to get it done before the box tore apart, spewing forth everything he'd worked so hard to contain. Every punch, every kick, every horrible thing ever done or said to Ryan were threatening to expose themselves. He had to finish...He needed to focus....Just a little more concrete left to be poured over the tightly woven rebar.
"Ryan..."
He smoothed the final bit of concrete into place with a trowel.
"Are you alright.......?"
Ryan's eyes came back into focus. He was greeted by the concerned looks of Kirsten, Seth and Paul.
Ryan spoke first.
"H-h-hey...."
Seth shook his head and spoke softly.
"Dude...where did you go....?"