Same disclaimers as the last time. Thanks ctoan and smc36 for the
encouragement. You guys rock!
Chapter 27
Dr. Rodriguez entered the room just as Ryan woke up. She stood back and observed the family. She knew Ryan wouldn't stay awake for too long. Her conference with the Cohens could wait until he fell asleep again.
Seth stayed at Ryan's bedside while his parents met with the doctor. He was a little disappointed that Ryan drifted off to sleep so soon after waking. He was going nuts in the beach house, especially since his grandfather had gone back to Newport for business. He had done all his homework the first two days he was in San Diego. Now as he watched his brother sleep, he let his mind wander back to when his dad first brought Ryan home.
Seth didn't know what to expect that morning. His dad told him he'd brought a client home who was just going to stay for the weekend. His mom told him to stay away from this kid, but then again, she had made herself scarce that morning. Ryan didn't look like a criminal. He actually looked pretty normal. Seth had noticed the small, round scars on Ryan's arms as he sat down beside him, but he didn't ask about them. He didn't ask about the bruises on his face either. Ryan, for his part, didn't say a whole lot. He gave one or two word answers when Seth asked him questions, but he listened with interest as Seth spoke. Seth never had that before. Someone his own age who was actually listening to him. It was like a lifetime of conversation came pouring out of him and this kid, this criminal seemed to really like him. Even after Seth drunkenly outed Ryan as a car thief from the 909 at Holly's party, Ryan didn't leave him to fend for himself. He'd gotten his ass kicked trying to protect Seth that night...
Seth closed his eyes and quietly begged Jesus and Moses to make Ryan better.
* * *
Kirsten's face fell as Dr. Rodriguez finished speaking.
"I don't think we should leave Ryan just yet...He finally came back to us and when he wakes up again and we're not here, he's going to be upset... Ryan doesn't even know where he is..."
Kirsten held onto Sandy's fingers so tightly he lost all feeling in them. Dr. Rodriguez shook her head and looked intensely at the Cohens.
"I understand how you both feel, but right now your feelings are secondary to Ryan's well being. Yes, he's come out of his catatonia and I agree he will be upset when you're not here, but we still only have a small window of opportunity left with the Lorazepam..."
"I thought since he's awake, Ryan would be done with the injections..." Sandy cut in.
The doctor frowned at the interruption before she continued.
"Ryan's going to be starting some intensive therapy this afternoon. The meds should make it easier for him to talk to me."
She stopped, waiting for the question she knew was coming.
"Isn't the whole purpose of therapy to help him deal with his issues, to confront them and to cope with them, or are we just supposed to keep him drugged up so he doesn't remember any of it..." Sandy's voice rose. "What about the next time this happens...Are you just going to strap him down and fry his synaptic terminals...maybe a few neural pathways as well...?"
"Are you finished?"
Dr. Rodriguez' voice was low and calm, but there was no mistaking the authority behind it. She deliberately kept her voice down so the Cohens would have to would have to quiet themselves to hear her words.
Sandy shifted slightly in his chair. Kirsten released some of the pressure on her husband's fingers, but she still didn't let go of his hand.
"I've told you before... The lorazepam is not a cure. It's not a magic bullet that will make your son's problems disappear. It's an anti-anxiety agent that has a role in Ryan's recovery. I trust you had no objection to the heavy doses of pain killers he was given after the accident?" She asked rhetorically. "They were a part of his recovery process just as the medication we're using now is. We are not dealing with a few small issues... We're dealing with a life time of trauma and if it takes a few days of medication to help him start his recovery, why is that different from using drugs for his physical pain...?"
She sat back and watched the Cohens as they slipped into their now familiar coping methods.
"We will stay with Ryan this morning... We want to be the ones who tell him where he is and why he's here. We "have" to be the ones to tell him..."
Kirsten's voice was determined. They hadn't come this far with Ryan to back down now. Sandy sat quietly, analytically processing what Dr. Rodriguez said. He knew she was right, but it was a lot harder to deal with when it was family that was at stake...His family...His son and now more than ever, they needed to make sure Ryan believed it.
* * *
Ryan's sleep wasn't a dreamless one. His nightmares played "Imax" size in his head, but this time he was detached from them. It would be clichéd to say they played out like some Fellini film. Maybe it was more like the Cohen brothers. He smirked in his dream... Cohen brothers... that was rich... Maybe with the right editing it could be the Farelly brothers directing the dreams... Atom Egoyan could come on board... Even better, David Lynch would turn his life into some tv series no one really understood but talked about constantly looking for subtle nuances that weren't there...or were they?
Incessant voices were now trying to invade his thoughts. He tried to block them out and focus on the images in his head. He watched as one of Dawn's "he's really good to me Ry...I can tell he likes you too" boyfriends slammed his head into the kitchen table for not picking up the empty beer bottles that were strewn around the house. "Who the fuck needed science anyway?" he thought as he tried to wipe the blood off his homework. The familiar voices were getting louder, gentle voices interspersing with the huge screen dolby THX version of "This is your life, Ryan Atwood" playing in his brain.
"Some family I got, huh... I should have let you rot in jail... just like your father...like your brother's gonna..."
"Ryan, sweetie... Can you wake up for me?"
"I can't do this anymore..."
"Ryan... Open your eyes..."
"I want you out of my house..."
"We need to give you a needle sweetie... It'll be over in a second..."
"Mom...Where am I supposed to go...?"
* * *
Ryan's eyes flew open...SHIT...His stomach was burning. Fuck, that hurt. His eyes focused on the person directly above his face... Kirsten.
She placed a hand on his cheek.
"It's okay, Ryan... Slow deep breaths... That's it..."
She smiled at him, trying her best to reassure him. Ryan became aware of others in the room. Seth was there, his hands jammed into his pockets. Sandy was close by as well, worry etched on his face. Confused, Ryan looked around the room. He didn't recognize the doctor who smiled at him or the male nurse that hovered in the background. His eyes locked onto Dr. Rodriguez. Why was "she" here...? Where "was" here...? Why was "he" here...? Ryan's breathing became erratic as his eyes darted to Sandy and Kirsten and then back to Sandy.
"Calm down Ryan... It's alright... Please calm down..."
Ryan looked back at Kirsten and saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears that threatened to spill over. He closed his eyes as he fought to regulate his breathing. His still sore ribs protested the abuse they felt as Ryan took in deep, deliberate breaths. The burning sensation in his stomach reminded him that what was happening was real. He could hear both Kirsten and Sandy speaking, trying to get through to him that he was okay... He was safe.
Ryan knew he wasn't okay... He wasn't sure if he was safe..."
Seth watched as his parents tried not to panic. He knew they were anxious because that's how he was feeling. He took another step backwards and bumped into the crash cart in the corner of the room. He stared at it for half a second. He'd never seen one this close up before. He'd watched enough episodes of ER to have a good idea of how it worked. That was so not going to happen to Ryan. Subconsciously he took in slow, deep breaths as if he could will Ryan to do the same.
Ryan felt his upper arm being squeezed again. He opened his eyes as the pressure intensified. A blood pressure cuff was wrapped around his arm and a thin cord spiraled back to the wall. Once the pressure released, someone wearing blue scrubs took his pulse. He didn't listen as the doctor conferred with the Cohens. Seth moved back towards Ryan, relieved that his best friend was somewhat calmer.
"Why..." Ryan's voice was no more than a harsh whisper. His stomach burned. Something was in his throat. He tried to keep from gagging. He wanted to sit up. Sandy saw that Ryan was trying to push himself up so he quickly reached for the controls on the side rail and raised the top half of the bed up.
The Cohens were now alone in the room with Ryan. Dr. Rodriguez and the other staff had quietly left, giving the family privacy to explain the situation to their son.
Seth broke the silence.
"Well, that was a crappy way to wake up... You'd think a place like this would have a much subtler wake up service..."
Ryan quickly glanced at Sandy and Kirsten and then to Seth. He brought his hand up and felt the end cap of the naso-gastric tube. Seth didn't wait for Ryan's next question.
"Dude... You freaked out 4 days ago..."
"SETH!" Kirsten and Sandy snapped in unison.
Seth just shook his head.
"No... Ryan's gotta know now..."
He turned to his brother.
"You checked out on us Monday night... Today's Friday... You're in a private clinic in San Diego. Dr. Rodriguez has been giving you drugs to try and bring you back to reality. I don't know all of what's going on in your head, but you gotta let us help you deal with it. You don't have to try and hide it from us anymore... We know most of what happened. People have been fucking you up your whole life..."
Seth's voice grew quiet. His parents had taken a step back to let him fill Ryan's field of vision.
"I was so scared we lost you... Mom and Dad too. Hell man, even Grandpa came down 'cause he's worried. We didn't put you in a psych hospital and leave... We put you in one and stayed. We want to help you get better... World domination, dude... Remember... Your looks, my brains... Okay, well, your looks, your brains, my gift of accelerated speech... Together we're unstoppable...divided..."
"I'm a b-b-basket c-case..." Ryan rasped.
Seth grinned.
"I was going to put it a little more delicately than that... Not..."
Ryan shot Seth "the look"
"Whether you like it or not... You're stuck with us... There's a "no return" policy. We Cohen's are a notoriously possessive lot. Add the Nichol's side of the family to it and you're gonna be lucky if you get to move out before you have a middle age crisis..."
"Sh-sh-shut up Seth..."
Seth looked up at his parents.
"That means "Okay... I'll do what ever you want" in Ryan speak..."
Ryan turned to the Cohens.
"You're in f-f-for a w-w-wild ride..." He said quietly.
Sandy smiled at him.
"We'll hold on tight..."
Chapter 27
Dr. Rodriguez entered the room just as Ryan woke up. She stood back and observed the family. She knew Ryan wouldn't stay awake for too long. Her conference with the Cohens could wait until he fell asleep again.
Seth stayed at Ryan's bedside while his parents met with the doctor. He was a little disappointed that Ryan drifted off to sleep so soon after waking. He was going nuts in the beach house, especially since his grandfather had gone back to Newport for business. He had done all his homework the first two days he was in San Diego. Now as he watched his brother sleep, he let his mind wander back to when his dad first brought Ryan home.
Seth didn't know what to expect that morning. His dad told him he'd brought a client home who was just going to stay for the weekend. His mom told him to stay away from this kid, but then again, she had made herself scarce that morning. Ryan didn't look like a criminal. He actually looked pretty normal. Seth had noticed the small, round scars on Ryan's arms as he sat down beside him, but he didn't ask about them. He didn't ask about the bruises on his face either. Ryan, for his part, didn't say a whole lot. He gave one or two word answers when Seth asked him questions, but he listened with interest as Seth spoke. Seth never had that before. Someone his own age who was actually listening to him. It was like a lifetime of conversation came pouring out of him and this kid, this criminal seemed to really like him. Even after Seth drunkenly outed Ryan as a car thief from the 909 at Holly's party, Ryan didn't leave him to fend for himself. He'd gotten his ass kicked trying to protect Seth that night...
Seth closed his eyes and quietly begged Jesus and Moses to make Ryan better.
* * *
Kirsten's face fell as Dr. Rodriguez finished speaking.
"I don't think we should leave Ryan just yet...He finally came back to us and when he wakes up again and we're not here, he's going to be upset... Ryan doesn't even know where he is..."
Kirsten held onto Sandy's fingers so tightly he lost all feeling in them. Dr. Rodriguez shook her head and looked intensely at the Cohens.
"I understand how you both feel, but right now your feelings are secondary to Ryan's well being. Yes, he's come out of his catatonia and I agree he will be upset when you're not here, but we still only have a small window of opportunity left with the Lorazepam..."
"I thought since he's awake, Ryan would be done with the injections..." Sandy cut in.
The doctor frowned at the interruption before she continued.
"Ryan's going to be starting some intensive therapy this afternoon. The meds should make it easier for him to talk to me."
She stopped, waiting for the question she knew was coming.
"Isn't the whole purpose of therapy to help him deal with his issues, to confront them and to cope with them, or are we just supposed to keep him drugged up so he doesn't remember any of it..." Sandy's voice rose. "What about the next time this happens...Are you just going to strap him down and fry his synaptic terminals...maybe a few neural pathways as well...?"
"Are you finished?"
Dr. Rodriguez' voice was low and calm, but there was no mistaking the authority behind it. She deliberately kept her voice down so the Cohens would have to would have to quiet themselves to hear her words.
Sandy shifted slightly in his chair. Kirsten released some of the pressure on her husband's fingers, but she still didn't let go of his hand.
"I've told you before... The lorazepam is not a cure. It's not a magic bullet that will make your son's problems disappear. It's an anti-anxiety agent that has a role in Ryan's recovery. I trust you had no objection to the heavy doses of pain killers he was given after the accident?" She asked rhetorically. "They were a part of his recovery process just as the medication we're using now is. We are not dealing with a few small issues... We're dealing with a life time of trauma and if it takes a few days of medication to help him start his recovery, why is that different from using drugs for his physical pain...?"
She sat back and watched the Cohens as they slipped into their now familiar coping methods.
"We will stay with Ryan this morning... We want to be the ones who tell him where he is and why he's here. We "have" to be the ones to tell him..."
Kirsten's voice was determined. They hadn't come this far with Ryan to back down now. Sandy sat quietly, analytically processing what Dr. Rodriguez said. He knew she was right, but it was a lot harder to deal with when it was family that was at stake...His family...His son and now more than ever, they needed to make sure Ryan believed it.
* * *
Ryan's sleep wasn't a dreamless one. His nightmares played "Imax" size in his head, but this time he was detached from them. It would be clichéd to say they played out like some Fellini film. Maybe it was more like the Cohen brothers. He smirked in his dream... Cohen brothers... that was rich... Maybe with the right editing it could be the Farelly brothers directing the dreams... Atom Egoyan could come on board... Even better, David Lynch would turn his life into some tv series no one really understood but talked about constantly looking for subtle nuances that weren't there...or were they?
Incessant voices were now trying to invade his thoughts. He tried to block them out and focus on the images in his head. He watched as one of Dawn's "he's really good to me Ry...I can tell he likes you too" boyfriends slammed his head into the kitchen table for not picking up the empty beer bottles that were strewn around the house. "Who the fuck needed science anyway?" he thought as he tried to wipe the blood off his homework. The familiar voices were getting louder, gentle voices interspersing with the huge screen dolby THX version of "This is your life, Ryan Atwood" playing in his brain.
"Some family I got, huh... I should have let you rot in jail... just like your father...like your brother's gonna..."
"Ryan, sweetie... Can you wake up for me?"
"I can't do this anymore..."
"Ryan... Open your eyes..."
"I want you out of my house..."
"We need to give you a needle sweetie... It'll be over in a second..."
"Mom...Where am I supposed to go...?"
* * *
Ryan's eyes flew open...SHIT...His stomach was burning. Fuck, that hurt. His eyes focused on the person directly above his face... Kirsten.
She placed a hand on his cheek.
"It's okay, Ryan... Slow deep breaths... That's it..."
She smiled at him, trying her best to reassure him. Ryan became aware of others in the room. Seth was there, his hands jammed into his pockets. Sandy was close by as well, worry etched on his face. Confused, Ryan looked around the room. He didn't recognize the doctor who smiled at him or the male nurse that hovered in the background. His eyes locked onto Dr. Rodriguez. Why was "she" here...? Where "was" here...? Why was "he" here...? Ryan's breathing became erratic as his eyes darted to Sandy and Kirsten and then back to Sandy.
"Calm down Ryan... It's alright... Please calm down..."
Ryan looked back at Kirsten and saw her eyes glisten with unshed tears that threatened to spill over. He closed his eyes as he fought to regulate his breathing. His still sore ribs protested the abuse they felt as Ryan took in deep, deliberate breaths. The burning sensation in his stomach reminded him that what was happening was real. He could hear both Kirsten and Sandy speaking, trying to get through to him that he was okay... He was safe.
Ryan knew he wasn't okay... He wasn't sure if he was safe..."
Seth watched as his parents tried not to panic. He knew they were anxious because that's how he was feeling. He took another step backwards and bumped into the crash cart in the corner of the room. He stared at it for half a second. He'd never seen one this close up before. He'd watched enough episodes of ER to have a good idea of how it worked. That was so not going to happen to Ryan. Subconsciously he took in slow, deep breaths as if he could will Ryan to do the same.
Ryan felt his upper arm being squeezed again. He opened his eyes as the pressure intensified. A blood pressure cuff was wrapped around his arm and a thin cord spiraled back to the wall. Once the pressure released, someone wearing blue scrubs took his pulse. He didn't listen as the doctor conferred with the Cohens. Seth moved back towards Ryan, relieved that his best friend was somewhat calmer.
"Why..." Ryan's voice was no more than a harsh whisper. His stomach burned. Something was in his throat. He tried to keep from gagging. He wanted to sit up. Sandy saw that Ryan was trying to push himself up so he quickly reached for the controls on the side rail and raised the top half of the bed up.
The Cohens were now alone in the room with Ryan. Dr. Rodriguez and the other staff had quietly left, giving the family privacy to explain the situation to their son.
Seth broke the silence.
"Well, that was a crappy way to wake up... You'd think a place like this would have a much subtler wake up service..."
Ryan quickly glanced at Sandy and Kirsten and then to Seth. He brought his hand up and felt the end cap of the naso-gastric tube. Seth didn't wait for Ryan's next question.
"Dude... You freaked out 4 days ago..."
"SETH!" Kirsten and Sandy snapped in unison.
Seth just shook his head.
"No... Ryan's gotta know now..."
He turned to his brother.
"You checked out on us Monday night... Today's Friday... You're in a private clinic in San Diego. Dr. Rodriguez has been giving you drugs to try and bring you back to reality. I don't know all of what's going on in your head, but you gotta let us help you deal with it. You don't have to try and hide it from us anymore... We know most of what happened. People have been fucking you up your whole life..."
Seth's voice grew quiet. His parents had taken a step back to let him fill Ryan's field of vision.
"I was so scared we lost you... Mom and Dad too. Hell man, even Grandpa came down 'cause he's worried. We didn't put you in a psych hospital and leave... We put you in one and stayed. We want to help you get better... World domination, dude... Remember... Your looks, my brains... Okay, well, your looks, your brains, my gift of accelerated speech... Together we're unstoppable...divided..."
"I'm a b-b-basket c-case..." Ryan rasped.
Seth grinned.
"I was going to put it a little more delicately than that... Not..."
Ryan shot Seth "the look"
"Whether you like it or not... You're stuck with us... There's a "no return" policy. We Cohen's are a notoriously possessive lot. Add the Nichol's side of the family to it and you're gonna be lucky if you get to move out before you have a middle age crisis..."
"Sh-sh-shut up Seth..."
Seth looked up at his parents.
"That means "Okay... I'll do what ever you want" in Ryan speak..."
Ryan turned to the Cohens.
"You're in f-f-for a w-w-wild ride..." He said quietly.
Sandy smiled at him.
"We'll hold on tight..."