(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. .author's note. .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
HOLY CRAP Sorceress Fujin . . . that was a fast review. You must have reviewed barely a second after I posted. Nice to know I have fans.
I reloaded the first chapter after fixing it up. My style seems to have changed drastically.
Reviews make me happy. Happy makes me write. Why, I've just checked out my reviewers profiles. I seem to be on quite a few fav stories lists. This makes me happy as well. I also seem to now have an ego the size of Kansas. . . I'll get over it.
An extremely mild cliffhanger . . . I'll bet half of you figured it out . . . Quistis's POV in this; starts a few seconds before the end of the last chapter.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. quistis .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
I looked down from my empty classroom. I had work to do; I was scheduled for a few more things today. "Well, Mr. Loire-" I started in an 'I have to go' tone.
"Laguna," He corrected. I could practically hear Laguna's grin over the line.
I sighed exasperatedly. I don't enjoy getting too familiar with people . . . especially one who knew so many secrets of mine.
"Very well," I snapped, "LAGUNA." I winced at my harshness. So I was bit stressed from recent events; I shouldn't take it out on Laguna. Even if he was the cause of most of my current problems, I wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for him.
I owed him a lot, didn't I?
I softened my tone. "I have to-"
A harsh pull on the phone line wrenched the phone from my loose grasp, yanking the cord from the wall. Reflex took over, and my arm attempted to fling up to protect my face-attempted being the key word.
A firm hand was wrapped around my wrist. I twisted, but the person didn't relent. I looked up at the face.
Squall.
Squall had heard who I was talking to.
Oh . . . my.
I seem to remember Zell saying something about Squall getting Ides of March on someone's ass. I really didn't appreciate the butchery of Shakespeare's imagery at the time, but now I could see what he meant.
His eyes were narrowed, his mouth set in a thin line. It was a very passive face . . . but on Squall, it looked like a death threat.
I cleared my throat. "Hello, Squall," I said crisply, as if he hadn't venerably destroyed my phone just moments before.
His eyes narrowed further, and he made a choked sound before letting me go with a jerk. I resisted massaging my wrist, before straightening and looking him in the eye.
He stepped away from me. "DAMMIT, Quistis!"
I flinched from his tone. I haven't heard him use it before . . . except on Seifer. Because Seifer had betrayed us. Squall, did he think I had betrayed him? He clenched his fist. "You knew?!"
I opened my mouth. Oh, Hyne. What to say? Do I lie? Squall might know that I'm lying . . . he WILL know that I'm lying . . . Do I tell the truth? Do I risk my friendship with Squall?
Was this even my decision to make? Didn't Laguna have some say in this? Wasn't this all for Laguna and Squall in the first place? I swallowed, and said as clearly as possible-
"Yes."
"When? How?" He demanded.
"Not long. A few days ago." I shut my eyes composedly before staring him in the face again.
"When he was here . . ." he muttered . . . I didn't have to ask who 'he' was. He snapped up, and queried in a clipped voice, "He told you in person?"
"Yes." I answered.
"I . . ." He shut his eyes, and opened them. "So he told you in person, and not me?! Oh, yeah! I should've know! He's ignored me for nineteen damn years already, why stop now?!" He punched the wall irritably.
What? Is that what he thought? I shook my head.
"Squall, He's the one who told Ellone-h"
"Couldn't he have told me face to face?" He raged obliviously.
"He knew you'd act like this!" My slight emphasis grew to a full shout by the end of my sentence. "Angry, denying, and in my eyes, pretty damn pitiful!"
"What?" He looked at me, slightly shocked. I wondered vaguely why I was cursing; I never curse.
"Squall, look at me. You, me, hell, even RINOA missed out on having a real family. So now that you've got a chance at one, you're going to throw away the one thing the rest of us would kill for?"
"We've killed for less." Squall intoned coldly
"Squall, listen to me!" I raised my voice again. I don't shout often, or curse, but . . . for some reason, I was doing so.
Squall noticed. He put his face into his glove, obviously concentrating hard. "Dammit, Quistis, you don't get it . . ." he muttered
I laughed harshly. "Oh I get it! I get that-"
"Shut up." Squall commanded. It's hard to refuse one of Squall's commands. " . . . I'm trying to think! How . . . why the hell did he tell YOU? Why not Irvine? Or Selphie? Or . . ." his eyes widened. " . . . or are they in on it too?"
I winced. No, they had nothing to do with it! They don't even know! "Just . . . just me, Squall. Don't get angry at them."
He sighed, and leaned against the wall . . . and narrowed his gaze at me. "So why?"
I felt my face warming up. "I can't say."
"Quistis . . ." He slumped over, and the sheer helplessness of his position- this position that I had put him into-tore at me. "Damn," he muttered. "Just . . . damn."
"Squall-" I tried to touch him on the shoulder, to do something, anything . . .
"No!" He wrenched away violently. "No. DON'T try to shove your views on me, not when you can't see the whole picture! Quistis." He grabbed my wrist again. "I. Want. Details. How the hell did you FIND OUT?!"
"What's goin' on?"
My head swiveled. Oh, Hyne. Zell. Along with Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa. Rinoa looked overly stunned, and it was only then that I noticed the state of the room. Squall's outburst hadn't helped the class's décor any.
Irvine slung his Exeter from his shoulder, standing at his full-and considerable-height, and said slowly, "Find out what?"
It clicked in my head. They'd been looking for me, to question me some more. They'd come prepared for a serious grilling session. Unfortunately, Squall had reached me first.
Squall cursed under his breath. I kept my attention firmly on a spot on the wall. A very uninteresting spot, but better than any of the other subjects in the room. Selphie was hopping from foot to foot nervously, and Rinoa looked as though she wanted to cry. Zell was merely confused, but Irvine, who seemed to have a firm enough grasp on the situation, looked eerily calm.
I took advantage of the calm and attempted to clear up my desk. Plugging my phone back in, and picking up some papers, I realized how eerily calm I was being, as well. If I had any sense at all, I'd be scared stiff of Squall right now.
Just shows how sensible I really am, I suppose. I picked up the phone to replace it on my desk.
I looked up, to see everyone was still staring at me, waiting for an answer. "Quistis . . ." Irvine started-
*RING*
The phone in my hands jumped. I flinched. Squall stepped away from it quickly, as if it would contaminate him. "Don't answer it," he barked rapidly.
I narrowed my eyes. I knew for certain it was Laguna, checking up on why the line had been cut. "Oh no," I said slowly. "I wouldn't dream of it. YOU are going to answer it."
Squall stiffened, and stood to his full height. "NO."
Selphie hopped nervously forward. "Who is it? Squall, is that someone to be afraid of?"
*RING*
"NO!" Squall sliced the air vehemently with his hand, looked extremely agitated. "But I'm NOT answering the damn phone!"
I looked at him incredulously. "And here I thought the day I saw a cowardice Squall was the day I died . . ." I hadn't meant to say that aloud, but seeing the faces of Zell and Rinoa change so rapidly, I practically kicked myself.
*RING*
I looked at Squall. He was afraid, that was all that was stopping him. He could fight a sorceress, brave the strange lands of the heart, and even live through it all-but couldn't talk to his father?
He was staring at me too, furious lines etched across his body like impurities in steel. I don't know why I decided to say the things that came out of my mouth after that. I don't know how things might have been different if I hadn't. But I said them, and that's that.
I pointed a finger at his chest, and hissed furiously, "Damn you, Squall, he's your FATHER. GIVE him a CHANCE."
Silence echoed. Slow motion, or so it seemed. The atmosphere instantly changed from tense to an almost tangible unease . . . and anger. The feeling before a battle when the fight is imminent, but the victor is uncertain.
The expressions on everyone changed. Selphie's and Rinoa's were the most noticeable, awe tinged with anxiety and-in Rinoa's case-grief. Zell stepped forward, his reflex of being defiant in the face of doubt. Irvine stepped back, and shouldered his gun-waiting until he knew more before he acted.
Squall's expression didn't change at all. I think, at the moment, he'd forgotten everyone else even existed. At the rate his mind was probably going, I really don't know if that was a good thing or not.
*RING*
I suddenly decided that getting out of Squall's range was a very, very good idea.
I headed slowly and deliberately towards the door.
"Answer the phone, Squall," I said as I walked toward the door. "Let's go everyone. He doesn't need an audience for this.
Slowly, everyone profiled back out the door, each craning their heads over their shoulders for a last look at Squall as they left. I followed, and turned my head back as well. "Squall," I said in a softer tone.
He turned to me, face impossible to read.
I went to leave, but shocked myself, by saying, "Maybe Squall, maybe my views are wrong. But maybe you can't see the whole picture either." I don't remember putting that much emotion in my voice before . . .
He nodded tightly, curtly. I left.
I saw him pick up the phone as I closed the door. And I found myself being stared down. By everyone.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. .laguna. .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
I tapped my foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on, answer the friggin phone . . ." I heard my voice mutter slowly.
Why the heck was it so important, anyway? If she had hung up on me, would it really matter? I thought on that a bit.
Quistis was . . . reliable. Her opinion, when given, was either well thought out or honestly given. I guess if she had hung up on me, that'd mean her opinion of me was . . . less than I'd hoped, to say the least.
Wait a sec . . .
When was the last time I really cared about what a female thought of me?
I shook my head. Bad mind. Bad, very bad, sit, stay! Good boy.
The ring tone droned on. My spirits sank slightly.
Well . . . at least I don't have to worry about-
The ringing stopped, and heard the line pick up. I felt strangely relieved, and laughed nervously. "Hey, are you okay? I mean, the line just cut off and for a second there-"
I was interrupted by a voice that was definitely NOT Quistis Trepe's.
"This isn't Quistis."
Oh . . . crap . . . was that who I thought it was?
Yeah . . . it probably was . . .
Squall was on the line. Oh, man. This was not good.
"Oh . . . ah . . ." I replied eloquently. Yeah, go me and my huge vocabulary, I have just royally screwed myself.
"Is it true?" Squall's voice didn't sound too happy. Not that I would have been in his position, but hey, he didn't have to be so . . . icy . . . about everything. Maybe, if I promised to be really good, I could just erase the whole thing from existence . . .
"Er . . . is what true?" I tested, ignoring the steady mantra in my head of 'oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap on a friggin stick oh crap'
"Don't lie, dammit!" Squall sounded angry now . . . okay, anger I can deal with. I took a deep breath. Calm down, Laguna man.
" . . ." I hesitated, but my voice continued without me. "Yeah, it's true."
"Why?" The voice shot back. I bit my lip. Why what? There were a lot of questions that could be encompassed by that word. How the heck was I supposed to answer that? Argh.
"Uh . . ." I tapped my forefingers together nervously. " . . . why . . . what?"
Yeah, that wasn't the best response. Yeah, okay, it was a CRAPPY response. Squall didn't fail to notice this, bright boy that I hoped he was.
"Why . . . why everything!" he exploded. Suddenly I was very glad I was on the other side of the world. "Why's you abandon me? Why'd you even HAVE me? Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner? Why the hell'd you even tell me NOW?"
Too much! I pointlessly gestured a placating motion before remembering this was a phone conversation. "H-hey, hey! One at a time! I-"
"My mother? Who was-" He cut in, asking breathlessly, before suddenly stopping to inhale. I answered as quickly as I could.
"Raine Loire . . . Leonhart, actually . . . Winhill's resident's refused to believe she'd actually married an outsider . . ." I winced. Bad memories there . . .
I shoved them away as Squall said something quietly. "So. . . the proof was there all along . . ."
What? "Huh?" I queried.
" . . . forget it . . ." he muttered sullenly, before seemingly taking a breath to steady himself. "So, why are you telling me NOW?!" I didn't think the whole 'steadying breath' idea had worked too great.
My immediate response was one I had given myself a dozen times already today--"Because I was too much of a coward to do it before."
"That's not what I-" a testy, almost warning tone came over the line. I was immune to that kind of tone, I'd used it a couple times myself. I interrupted before he could finish. "Alright, alright . . . guilt, mostly, to tell the truth." As good a reason as any . . . or as bad, depending on you're point of view . . . "But then, Quistis had a good point too."
"Quistis?" Squall muttered, sounding not angry anymore, just aggravated. I'm not too sure that was a good thing.
I continued. "Yeah. You deserve to know the truth, you deserve to know who your father is . . . was . . ." I swallowed, realized the f word had come up for the first time. My voice got really awkward after that. " . . . whatever you choose to look at it as . . ."
I was giving him a choice at that point. That was the perfect opportunity to say, 'you're not my father, you bastard' or some derivative thereof. I held my breath, which let me tell ya, wasn't too healthy considering my heart rate.
Instead, in a voice inflected with a reasonable amount of humor, he replied, "I don't think Quistis added that last part."
I blinked. "She didn't . . ." I said rather faintly. Well, even if he chooses to believe it, it doesn't mean that he's gonna be happy about it. Tread carefully, Laguna.
"How did Quistis find out?"
Oh, shit, he had to ask the one question that I couldn't answer. I didn't really want to lie at this point. "Er . . . I, uh . . ."
" . . . " A noncommittal sound. Not a good sign.
"It was . . . an unspoken agreement, I think . . . I helped her out a bit, and she helped me in return . . ." An evasion. Hah. All this politics crap was paying off, yeah?
I don't think he fell for it, but at least he played along, if just for the sake of satisfying his curiosity. "You must have done her a big favor."
Forbidden territory in range . . . "Yeah, I did, actually . . ." I saved her life, not a favor really, more of a duty.
" . . . what?"
"Huh?" I slapped my head. Yeah, my vocabulary was sucking today.
Squall snorted. "What did you do for Quistis?"
"Er . . . I . . ." casting around in my mind for a decent lie, I winced. Oh, to hell with it. "I really can't tell you . . . the whole unspoken agreement thing involved that piece of information remaining confidential . . ."
"Yeah, whatever . . ." Oh, great, now he's all icy again. I hastily backtracked.
"Don't get me wrong! It's just that . . . well, she'll tell you when she's ready."
"In nineteen years?"
I winced. "Ouch . . . low blow . . . deserved, but low."
Silence, of the uncomfortable variety. See also 'AWKWARD' and 'UNEASY.'
Squall broke it. "I called Ellone this morning as well."
"Aw, man . . . Don't blame her for this, I asked her to tell you. I screwed up, yeah, but . . ."
"I didn't blame her, I asked her questions. Yeah, and it turns out she didn't know half the things she showed me. She was . . . confused. She had thought you didn't know at all . . ."
"Oh, dammit. . ." The words slipped out before I could stop them, sounding tired and ragged. I cleared my throat, and went on. "What did you see?"
"You were the guy in the spacesuit at that space station. The part where she told you . . . what I was to you." I noticed he skipped over the f word quite neatly. "Then she went back a bit farther . . . you were at the orphanage, once. You were talking to Matron about adopting . . ."
"And then chickening out," I said wryly.
"Yeah, you did . . . but you also rooted for me when I was fighting Seifer," he added.
I thought back. I had, but only when Edea hadn't been in the room. I'd actually given him pointers while they were trying to punch each other out . . . eh heh heh . . .
"I've been thinking a lot today," he broke in.
I hesitated. "Sooo . . . any point in asking what about?"
" . . . "
"And . . . I'm thinking that's a no . . ."
"I have to go."
Oh man, I really have royally screwed myself. What a friggin' disaster. "Oh . . . okay then." I kept my voice carefully neutral.
Squall was quiet, then- " . . . I'll call you sometime."
I opened my mouth and . . . Wait a sec . . .
"What?!"
*CLICK*
I stared at the receiver.
Um . . . was he giving me a chance? I sat down harder then I meant to.
A second chance . . . Quistis, I thought numbly. You were right . . .
. . .
. . . *clunk* . . .
. . .
I froze. That sure as hell wasn't Kiros or Ward.
I reached for the pistol in my dresser . . .
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. .author's note. .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
Does that count as a cliffie? I don't know . . .
I . . . I think I overly glorified Irvine . . . but . . . I LIKE Irvine . . . When he's not trying to shoot his mother or hit on women, he's the only level headed one . . . and since Squall and Quistis aren't able to take the proper roles in this one . . .
Lack . . . of . . . romance . . . driving . . . me . . . insane . . . Sorry about the slow updates. My mind has gone through an art phase; I either draw well or write well at a certain period in time. Hmmm. . .
Humor of the day: Final Fantasy fans, if you have any decent plug-ins, you should be able to view this flash movie. It's made me smile many times (take out the spaces, ff.net's address bot might be acting up again). http:// www. rolandscavern. com/ newsletter / special_sep. htm
Good judgement comes from bad experience . . . and a lot of that comes from bad judgement . . . so we get screwed all the way around.
HOLY CRAP Sorceress Fujin . . . that was a fast review. You must have reviewed barely a second after I posted. Nice to know I have fans.
I reloaded the first chapter after fixing it up. My style seems to have changed drastically.
Reviews make me happy. Happy makes me write. Why, I've just checked out my reviewers profiles. I seem to be on quite a few fav stories lists. This makes me happy as well. I also seem to now have an ego the size of Kansas. . . I'll get over it.
An extremely mild cliffhanger . . . I'll bet half of you figured it out . . . Quistis's POV in this; starts a few seconds before the end of the last chapter.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. quistis .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
I looked down from my empty classroom. I had work to do; I was scheduled for a few more things today. "Well, Mr. Loire-" I started in an 'I have to go' tone.
"Laguna," He corrected. I could practically hear Laguna's grin over the line.
I sighed exasperatedly. I don't enjoy getting too familiar with people . . . especially one who knew so many secrets of mine.
"Very well," I snapped, "LAGUNA." I winced at my harshness. So I was bit stressed from recent events; I shouldn't take it out on Laguna. Even if he was the cause of most of my current problems, I wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for him.
I owed him a lot, didn't I?
I softened my tone. "I have to-"
A harsh pull on the phone line wrenched the phone from my loose grasp, yanking the cord from the wall. Reflex took over, and my arm attempted to fling up to protect my face-attempted being the key word.
A firm hand was wrapped around my wrist. I twisted, but the person didn't relent. I looked up at the face.
Squall.
Squall had heard who I was talking to.
Oh . . . my.
I seem to remember Zell saying something about Squall getting Ides of March on someone's ass. I really didn't appreciate the butchery of Shakespeare's imagery at the time, but now I could see what he meant.
His eyes were narrowed, his mouth set in a thin line. It was a very passive face . . . but on Squall, it looked like a death threat.
I cleared my throat. "Hello, Squall," I said crisply, as if he hadn't venerably destroyed my phone just moments before.
His eyes narrowed further, and he made a choked sound before letting me go with a jerk. I resisted massaging my wrist, before straightening and looking him in the eye.
He stepped away from me. "DAMMIT, Quistis!"
I flinched from his tone. I haven't heard him use it before . . . except on Seifer. Because Seifer had betrayed us. Squall, did he think I had betrayed him? He clenched his fist. "You knew?!"
I opened my mouth. Oh, Hyne. What to say? Do I lie? Squall might know that I'm lying . . . he WILL know that I'm lying . . . Do I tell the truth? Do I risk my friendship with Squall?
Was this even my decision to make? Didn't Laguna have some say in this? Wasn't this all for Laguna and Squall in the first place? I swallowed, and said as clearly as possible-
"Yes."
"When? How?" He demanded.
"Not long. A few days ago." I shut my eyes composedly before staring him in the face again.
"When he was here . . ." he muttered . . . I didn't have to ask who 'he' was. He snapped up, and queried in a clipped voice, "He told you in person?"
"Yes." I answered.
"I . . ." He shut his eyes, and opened them. "So he told you in person, and not me?! Oh, yeah! I should've know! He's ignored me for nineteen damn years already, why stop now?!" He punched the wall irritably.
What? Is that what he thought? I shook my head.
"Squall, He's the one who told Ellone-h"
"Couldn't he have told me face to face?" He raged obliviously.
"He knew you'd act like this!" My slight emphasis grew to a full shout by the end of my sentence. "Angry, denying, and in my eyes, pretty damn pitiful!"
"What?" He looked at me, slightly shocked. I wondered vaguely why I was cursing; I never curse.
"Squall, look at me. You, me, hell, even RINOA missed out on having a real family. So now that you've got a chance at one, you're going to throw away the one thing the rest of us would kill for?"
"We've killed for less." Squall intoned coldly
"Squall, listen to me!" I raised my voice again. I don't shout often, or curse, but . . . for some reason, I was doing so.
Squall noticed. He put his face into his glove, obviously concentrating hard. "Dammit, Quistis, you don't get it . . ." he muttered
I laughed harshly. "Oh I get it! I get that-"
"Shut up." Squall commanded. It's hard to refuse one of Squall's commands. " . . . I'm trying to think! How . . . why the hell did he tell YOU? Why not Irvine? Or Selphie? Or . . ." his eyes widened. " . . . or are they in on it too?"
I winced. No, they had nothing to do with it! They don't even know! "Just . . . just me, Squall. Don't get angry at them."
He sighed, and leaned against the wall . . . and narrowed his gaze at me. "So why?"
I felt my face warming up. "I can't say."
"Quistis . . ." He slumped over, and the sheer helplessness of his position- this position that I had put him into-tore at me. "Damn," he muttered. "Just . . . damn."
"Squall-" I tried to touch him on the shoulder, to do something, anything . . .
"No!" He wrenched away violently. "No. DON'T try to shove your views on me, not when you can't see the whole picture! Quistis." He grabbed my wrist again. "I. Want. Details. How the hell did you FIND OUT?!"
"What's goin' on?"
My head swiveled. Oh, Hyne. Zell. Along with Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa. Rinoa looked overly stunned, and it was only then that I noticed the state of the room. Squall's outburst hadn't helped the class's décor any.
Irvine slung his Exeter from his shoulder, standing at his full-and considerable-height, and said slowly, "Find out what?"
It clicked in my head. They'd been looking for me, to question me some more. They'd come prepared for a serious grilling session. Unfortunately, Squall had reached me first.
Squall cursed under his breath. I kept my attention firmly on a spot on the wall. A very uninteresting spot, but better than any of the other subjects in the room. Selphie was hopping from foot to foot nervously, and Rinoa looked as though she wanted to cry. Zell was merely confused, but Irvine, who seemed to have a firm enough grasp on the situation, looked eerily calm.
I took advantage of the calm and attempted to clear up my desk. Plugging my phone back in, and picking up some papers, I realized how eerily calm I was being, as well. If I had any sense at all, I'd be scared stiff of Squall right now.
Just shows how sensible I really am, I suppose. I picked up the phone to replace it on my desk.
I looked up, to see everyone was still staring at me, waiting for an answer. "Quistis . . ." Irvine started-
*RING*
The phone in my hands jumped. I flinched. Squall stepped away from it quickly, as if it would contaminate him. "Don't answer it," he barked rapidly.
I narrowed my eyes. I knew for certain it was Laguna, checking up on why the line had been cut. "Oh no," I said slowly. "I wouldn't dream of it. YOU are going to answer it."
Squall stiffened, and stood to his full height. "NO."
Selphie hopped nervously forward. "Who is it? Squall, is that someone to be afraid of?"
*RING*
"NO!" Squall sliced the air vehemently with his hand, looked extremely agitated. "But I'm NOT answering the damn phone!"
I looked at him incredulously. "And here I thought the day I saw a cowardice Squall was the day I died . . ." I hadn't meant to say that aloud, but seeing the faces of Zell and Rinoa change so rapidly, I practically kicked myself.
*RING*
I looked at Squall. He was afraid, that was all that was stopping him. He could fight a sorceress, brave the strange lands of the heart, and even live through it all-but couldn't talk to his father?
He was staring at me too, furious lines etched across his body like impurities in steel. I don't know why I decided to say the things that came out of my mouth after that. I don't know how things might have been different if I hadn't. But I said them, and that's that.
I pointed a finger at his chest, and hissed furiously, "Damn you, Squall, he's your FATHER. GIVE him a CHANCE."
Silence echoed. Slow motion, or so it seemed. The atmosphere instantly changed from tense to an almost tangible unease . . . and anger. The feeling before a battle when the fight is imminent, but the victor is uncertain.
The expressions on everyone changed. Selphie's and Rinoa's were the most noticeable, awe tinged with anxiety and-in Rinoa's case-grief. Zell stepped forward, his reflex of being defiant in the face of doubt. Irvine stepped back, and shouldered his gun-waiting until he knew more before he acted.
Squall's expression didn't change at all. I think, at the moment, he'd forgotten everyone else even existed. At the rate his mind was probably going, I really don't know if that was a good thing or not.
*RING*
I suddenly decided that getting out of Squall's range was a very, very good idea.
I headed slowly and deliberately towards the door.
"Answer the phone, Squall," I said as I walked toward the door. "Let's go everyone. He doesn't need an audience for this.
Slowly, everyone profiled back out the door, each craning their heads over their shoulders for a last look at Squall as they left. I followed, and turned my head back as well. "Squall," I said in a softer tone.
He turned to me, face impossible to read.
I went to leave, but shocked myself, by saying, "Maybe Squall, maybe my views are wrong. But maybe you can't see the whole picture either." I don't remember putting that much emotion in my voice before . . .
He nodded tightly, curtly. I left.
I saw him pick up the phone as I closed the door. And I found myself being stared down. By everyone.
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. .laguna. .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
I tapped my foot impatiently.
"Come on, come on, answer the friggin phone . . ." I heard my voice mutter slowly.
Why the heck was it so important, anyway? If she had hung up on me, would it really matter? I thought on that a bit.
Quistis was . . . reliable. Her opinion, when given, was either well thought out or honestly given. I guess if she had hung up on me, that'd mean her opinion of me was . . . less than I'd hoped, to say the least.
Wait a sec . . .
When was the last time I really cared about what a female thought of me?
I shook my head. Bad mind. Bad, very bad, sit, stay! Good boy.
The ring tone droned on. My spirits sank slightly.
Well . . . at least I don't have to worry about-
The ringing stopped, and heard the line pick up. I felt strangely relieved, and laughed nervously. "Hey, are you okay? I mean, the line just cut off and for a second there-"
I was interrupted by a voice that was definitely NOT Quistis Trepe's.
"This isn't Quistis."
Oh . . . crap . . . was that who I thought it was?
Yeah . . . it probably was . . .
Squall was on the line. Oh, man. This was not good.
"Oh . . . ah . . ." I replied eloquently. Yeah, go me and my huge vocabulary, I have just royally screwed myself.
"Is it true?" Squall's voice didn't sound too happy. Not that I would have been in his position, but hey, he didn't have to be so . . . icy . . . about everything. Maybe, if I promised to be really good, I could just erase the whole thing from existence . . .
"Er . . . is what true?" I tested, ignoring the steady mantra in my head of 'oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap on a friggin stick oh crap'
"Don't lie, dammit!" Squall sounded angry now . . . okay, anger I can deal with. I took a deep breath. Calm down, Laguna man.
" . . ." I hesitated, but my voice continued without me. "Yeah, it's true."
"Why?" The voice shot back. I bit my lip. Why what? There were a lot of questions that could be encompassed by that word. How the heck was I supposed to answer that? Argh.
"Uh . . ." I tapped my forefingers together nervously. " . . . why . . . what?"
Yeah, that wasn't the best response. Yeah, okay, it was a CRAPPY response. Squall didn't fail to notice this, bright boy that I hoped he was.
"Why . . . why everything!" he exploded. Suddenly I was very glad I was on the other side of the world. "Why's you abandon me? Why'd you even HAVE me? Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner? Why the hell'd you even tell me NOW?"
Too much! I pointlessly gestured a placating motion before remembering this was a phone conversation. "H-hey, hey! One at a time! I-"
"My mother? Who was-" He cut in, asking breathlessly, before suddenly stopping to inhale. I answered as quickly as I could.
"Raine Loire . . . Leonhart, actually . . . Winhill's resident's refused to believe she'd actually married an outsider . . ." I winced. Bad memories there . . .
I shoved them away as Squall said something quietly. "So. . . the proof was there all along . . ."
What? "Huh?" I queried.
" . . . forget it . . ." he muttered sullenly, before seemingly taking a breath to steady himself. "So, why are you telling me NOW?!" I didn't think the whole 'steadying breath' idea had worked too great.
My immediate response was one I had given myself a dozen times already today--"Because I was too much of a coward to do it before."
"That's not what I-" a testy, almost warning tone came over the line. I was immune to that kind of tone, I'd used it a couple times myself. I interrupted before he could finish. "Alright, alright . . . guilt, mostly, to tell the truth." As good a reason as any . . . or as bad, depending on you're point of view . . . "But then, Quistis had a good point too."
"Quistis?" Squall muttered, sounding not angry anymore, just aggravated. I'm not too sure that was a good thing.
I continued. "Yeah. You deserve to know the truth, you deserve to know who your father is . . . was . . ." I swallowed, realized the f word had come up for the first time. My voice got really awkward after that. " . . . whatever you choose to look at it as . . ."
I was giving him a choice at that point. That was the perfect opportunity to say, 'you're not my father, you bastard' or some derivative thereof. I held my breath, which let me tell ya, wasn't too healthy considering my heart rate.
Instead, in a voice inflected with a reasonable amount of humor, he replied, "I don't think Quistis added that last part."
I blinked. "She didn't . . ." I said rather faintly. Well, even if he chooses to believe it, it doesn't mean that he's gonna be happy about it. Tread carefully, Laguna.
"How did Quistis find out?"
Oh, shit, he had to ask the one question that I couldn't answer. I didn't really want to lie at this point. "Er . . . I, uh . . ."
" . . . " A noncommittal sound. Not a good sign.
"It was . . . an unspoken agreement, I think . . . I helped her out a bit, and she helped me in return . . ." An evasion. Hah. All this politics crap was paying off, yeah?
I don't think he fell for it, but at least he played along, if just for the sake of satisfying his curiosity. "You must have done her a big favor."
Forbidden territory in range . . . "Yeah, I did, actually . . ." I saved her life, not a favor really, more of a duty.
" . . . what?"
"Huh?" I slapped my head. Yeah, my vocabulary was sucking today.
Squall snorted. "What did you do for Quistis?"
"Er . . . I . . ." casting around in my mind for a decent lie, I winced. Oh, to hell with it. "I really can't tell you . . . the whole unspoken agreement thing involved that piece of information remaining confidential . . ."
"Yeah, whatever . . ." Oh, great, now he's all icy again. I hastily backtracked.
"Don't get me wrong! It's just that . . . well, she'll tell you when she's ready."
"In nineteen years?"
I winced. "Ouch . . . low blow . . . deserved, but low."
Silence, of the uncomfortable variety. See also 'AWKWARD' and 'UNEASY.'
Squall broke it. "I called Ellone this morning as well."
"Aw, man . . . Don't blame her for this, I asked her to tell you. I screwed up, yeah, but . . ."
"I didn't blame her, I asked her questions. Yeah, and it turns out she didn't know half the things she showed me. She was . . . confused. She had thought you didn't know at all . . ."
"Oh, dammit. . ." The words slipped out before I could stop them, sounding tired and ragged. I cleared my throat, and went on. "What did you see?"
"You were the guy in the spacesuit at that space station. The part where she told you . . . what I was to you." I noticed he skipped over the f word quite neatly. "Then she went back a bit farther . . . you were at the orphanage, once. You were talking to Matron about adopting . . ."
"And then chickening out," I said wryly.
"Yeah, you did . . . but you also rooted for me when I was fighting Seifer," he added.
I thought back. I had, but only when Edea hadn't been in the room. I'd actually given him pointers while they were trying to punch each other out . . . eh heh heh . . .
"I've been thinking a lot today," he broke in.
I hesitated. "Sooo . . . any point in asking what about?"
" . . . "
"And . . . I'm thinking that's a no . . ."
"I have to go."
Oh man, I really have royally screwed myself. What a friggin' disaster. "Oh . . . okay then." I kept my voice carefully neutral.
Squall was quiet, then- " . . . I'll call you sometime."
I opened my mouth and . . . Wait a sec . . .
"What?!"
*CLICK*
I stared at the receiver.
Um . . . was he giving me a chance? I sat down harder then I meant to.
A second chance . . . Quistis, I thought numbly. You were right . . .
. . .
. . . *clunk* . . .
. . .
I froze. That sure as hell wasn't Kiros or Ward.
I reached for the pistol in my dresser . . .
(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·. .author's note. .·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)
Does that count as a cliffie? I don't know . . .
I . . . I think I overly glorified Irvine . . . but . . . I LIKE Irvine . . . When he's not trying to shoot his mother or hit on women, he's the only level headed one . . . and since Squall and Quistis aren't able to take the proper roles in this one . . .
Lack . . . of . . . romance . . . driving . . . me . . . insane . . . Sorry about the slow updates. My mind has gone through an art phase; I either draw well or write well at a certain period in time. Hmmm. . .
Humor of the day: Final Fantasy fans, if you have any decent plug-ins, you should be able to view this flash movie. It's made me smile many times (take out the spaces, ff.net's address bot might be acting up again). http:// www. rolandscavern. com/ newsletter / special_sep. htm
Good judgement comes from bad experience . . . and a lot of that comes from bad judgement . . . so we get screwed all the way around.