~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfect World
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took out the brush from the drawer. Tracing the finely carved features on the wooden handle, I smiled.
My world was perfect. A world of luxury, a world of status...
I glanced up and stared into the shiny mirror. I sat there on the chair and continued to stare at the reflection in the mirror. I never managed to take my eyes off the beautiful purple haired woman in front of me. Beautiful long purple tresses flowed down, caressing her back. She wore a simple yet elegant night gown. The night gown had a small red bow at the collar. The sleeves were translucent to show off her slim arms. The light blue sash tied tightly around her waist showed off her curvy figure.
A small but cute nose. High cheekbones that was covered by the thick pink blusher. Small, curvy and moist red lips. Eyelids were painted a light shade of purple, complete with mascara on the eyelashes.
I sighed.
Removing the piece on damp cloth from the bowl full of water before me, I gently began dabbing it on my face, wiping away the make-up. Once I was done, I look again at the mirror on my dressing table.
Same clothing, same wavy untied hair, same face....
Different eyes, different heart...
The eyes of the young vibrant lady were sparkling, even in the dim light of the bedroom.
The pair of eyes staring back at me now were moist, trying to hold back the tears. They were filled with sorrow and regrets. It was a painful sight.
The heart of the young lady belonged to a certain young handsome emperor.
The heart in my chest....
It was crying, trying to cover up, trying to gather back the pieces that it lost...
It was so painful, so hurtful....
'Kourin, if you were here....' I thought silently to myself, combing my hair slowly.
I then burst out laughing like some kind of an idiot. Of course Kourin was here! Here she was, sitting in front of a mirror, combing her long wavy hair in the dim light of the moon. Here she was, in the palace of Konan as one of the most loveliest courtesans. She was popular among those in the palace and even the emperor knew her name. She was the envy of every other girl in the palace... She was...
She was...
She was a fake.
She was ME.
Tears poured down like a river. It began with soft sobbing at first that was followed by harsh choking sounds coming from my throat.
Before I knew it, I had flung myself on the bed, crying and burying my head into the soft fluffy pillows.
Kourin...
If only you knew...
If only you knew who much you were worth....
You were worth, every single star in the evening sky, every diamond on this Earth, every raindrop that comes pouring down....
You couldn't be compared to the sun or the moon or life itself.
Kourin....
You were my perfect world.
Filled with light, filled with hope...
You were my everything...
Why? Why did you leave, calling out my name?! Why?!
Did you know how guilty I was? How much I regret living?! Everyday, a moment without you... The pain I can't describe, the emotions, the hurt, the grief, the sorrow, the regret...
If only you knew....
Tears continued to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably, no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. I buried my head deeper into the damp pillow.
Kourin....
Did you know how much it hurts me inside? Trying to be you, pretending, acting, faking to be a lady named Kourin.........
It didn't matter how close we were, how good was I as a woman or how I'm still trying to get over you...
No matter what...
Our hearts will always be different. Our souls, connected by a special bond... We both have different souls Kourin. I can't keep up anymore. I can't live my life like this! It's just too much... Too much to bear...
A deep wound in my heart will never be healed......
To see you dying, to be covered in your blood and yet do nothing about it....
Kourin, did you know how much you hurt me?!
Did you know that...
That...
You were my only perfect world? Without you, everything simply fades and disappears. Nothing has meaning anymore. Absolutely nothing....
"Onii-chan..."
I looked up from the pillow. Did I just.... Was it my imagination?
"Onii-chan..."
This time, the voice was getting louder. I scanned the room, looking for the source. It can't be my imagination! It must be...
Is it really?
Kourin?
I gasped. There, by the window, bathed in the pale moonlight, was Kourin. She looked exactly the same as before, the same dress, the same hairstyle, the same smile....
I placed a hand on my mouth, trying my best not to burst into tears again.
"Kourin... Is it you?" I whispered. I blinked. There she was, still standing and smiling by my window.
"Oh Suzaku!" I rushed forward, wiping away my tears. I plopped down in front of Kourin. Timidly, I reached out, placing a hand on her cheek.
I felt her smooth skin beneath my hand. I immediately embraced her. "Kourin!" I whispered into her ear. Kourin did not react. She simply stood there. I tightened my grip around her. I could feel her warmth, her nice smelling hair, her smooth skin....
Then...
Then...
A cold but strong gust of wind blew into the room. I shivered. After a few minutes, I pulled away from the tight embrace.
Just to see her fading away.
"Kourin!!!" I cried out, tears rolling down my cheeks once more. "Please! Please don't leave me!!!"
I hugged her once again, not wanting to let go. This time, she felt cold. Slowly, the coldness faded away. Soon, I found myself hugging my body. Kourin was still there, standing, just that, this time, I couldn't feel her at all.
"Kourin!!! Don't leave me!!! Please!!!" I cried out again, reaching out, frantically trying to grab her. I could see right through her. It was scaring me. I tried several times but all my attempts to grab her failed. My hands kept on passing through her.
"Kourin!!!!!!!"
I slumped onto the floor, curled up into a ball. I shut my eyes tightly. I didn't want to see her anymore. It hurts so much.....
"Onii-chan...."
I couldn't help but to look up. My vision was slightly blurry from my tears. I wiped them off barbarically using my sleeves.
"Gambatte..."
I watched Kourin smile at me once more, before fading. The silver moonlight shone brightly, outlining whatever was left of her. Soon, she was completely gone.
"Kourin..." I whispered into the darkness. A soft gentle breeze blew, ruffling through my hair. I rushed to the window, taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes and smiled.
So, I was right all along.
I am in a perfect world.
A world with no tears, no pain, no sorrow...
Just a world with Kourin and me...
A perfect world...
My perfect world...
She was beside me all along...
"Thank you, Kourin..." I whispered into the dying wind.
I sighed before closing the window. I crawled into my bed and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
I love you, Kourin....
Forever and ever, for eternity....
You are my perfect world...
Perfect world....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Owari
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Perfect World
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took out the brush from the drawer. Tracing the finely carved features on the wooden handle, I smiled.
My world was perfect. A world of luxury, a world of status...
I glanced up and stared into the shiny mirror. I sat there on the chair and continued to stare at the reflection in the mirror. I never managed to take my eyes off the beautiful purple haired woman in front of me. Beautiful long purple tresses flowed down, caressing her back. She wore a simple yet elegant night gown. The night gown had a small red bow at the collar. The sleeves were translucent to show off her slim arms. The light blue sash tied tightly around her waist showed off her curvy figure.
A small but cute nose. High cheekbones that was covered by the thick pink blusher. Small, curvy and moist red lips. Eyelids were painted a light shade of purple, complete with mascara on the eyelashes.
I sighed.
Removing the piece on damp cloth from the bowl full of water before me, I gently began dabbing it on my face, wiping away the make-up. Once I was done, I look again at the mirror on my dressing table.
Same clothing, same wavy untied hair, same face....
Different eyes, different heart...
The eyes of the young vibrant lady were sparkling, even in the dim light of the bedroom.
The pair of eyes staring back at me now were moist, trying to hold back the tears. They were filled with sorrow and regrets. It was a painful sight.
The heart of the young lady belonged to a certain young handsome emperor.
The heart in my chest....
It was crying, trying to cover up, trying to gather back the pieces that it lost...
It was so painful, so hurtful....
'Kourin, if you were here....' I thought silently to myself, combing my hair slowly.
I then burst out laughing like some kind of an idiot. Of course Kourin was here! Here she was, sitting in front of a mirror, combing her long wavy hair in the dim light of the moon. Here she was, in the palace of Konan as one of the most loveliest courtesans. She was popular among those in the palace and even the emperor knew her name. She was the envy of every other girl in the palace... She was...
She was...
She was a fake.
She was ME.
Tears poured down like a river. It began with soft sobbing at first that was followed by harsh choking sounds coming from my throat.
Before I knew it, I had flung myself on the bed, crying and burying my head into the soft fluffy pillows.
Kourin...
If only you knew...
If only you knew who much you were worth....
You were worth, every single star in the evening sky, every diamond on this Earth, every raindrop that comes pouring down....
You couldn't be compared to the sun or the moon or life itself.
Kourin....
You were my perfect world.
Filled with light, filled with hope...
You were my everything...
Why? Why did you leave, calling out my name?! Why?!
Did you know how guilty I was? How much I regret living?! Everyday, a moment without you... The pain I can't describe, the emotions, the hurt, the grief, the sorrow, the regret...
If only you knew....
Tears continued to roll down my cheeks uncontrollably, no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. I buried my head deeper into the damp pillow.
Kourin....
Did you know how much it hurts me inside? Trying to be you, pretending, acting, faking to be a lady named Kourin.........
It didn't matter how close we were, how good was I as a woman or how I'm still trying to get over you...
No matter what...
Our hearts will always be different. Our souls, connected by a special bond... We both have different souls Kourin. I can't keep up anymore. I can't live my life like this! It's just too much... Too much to bear...
A deep wound in my heart will never be healed......
To see you dying, to be covered in your blood and yet do nothing about it....
Kourin, did you know how much you hurt me?!
Did you know that...
That...
You were my only perfect world? Without you, everything simply fades and disappears. Nothing has meaning anymore. Absolutely nothing....
"Onii-chan..."
I looked up from the pillow. Did I just.... Was it my imagination?
"Onii-chan..."
This time, the voice was getting louder. I scanned the room, looking for the source. It can't be my imagination! It must be...
Is it really?
Kourin?
I gasped. There, by the window, bathed in the pale moonlight, was Kourin. She looked exactly the same as before, the same dress, the same hairstyle, the same smile....
I placed a hand on my mouth, trying my best not to burst into tears again.
"Kourin... Is it you?" I whispered. I blinked. There she was, still standing and smiling by my window.
"Oh Suzaku!" I rushed forward, wiping away my tears. I plopped down in front of Kourin. Timidly, I reached out, placing a hand on her cheek.
I felt her smooth skin beneath my hand. I immediately embraced her. "Kourin!" I whispered into her ear. Kourin did not react. She simply stood there. I tightened my grip around her. I could feel her warmth, her nice smelling hair, her smooth skin....
Then...
Then...
A cold but strong gust of wind blew into the room. I shivered. After a few minutes, I pulled away from the tight embrace.
Just to see her fading away.
"Kourin!!!" I cried out, tears rolling down my cheeks once more. "Please! Please don't leave me!!!"
I hugged her once again, not wanting to let go. This time, she felt cold. Slowly, the coldness faded away. Soon, I found myself hugging my body. Kourin was still there, standing, just that, this time, I couldn't feel her at all.
"Kourin!!! Don't leave me!!! Please!!!" I cried out again, reaching out, frantically trying to grab her. I could see right through her. It was scaring me. I tried several times but all my attempts to grab her failed. My hands kept on passing through her.
"Kourin!!!!!!!"
I slumped onto the floor, curled up into a ball. I shut my eyes tightly. I didn't want to see her anymore. It hurts so much.....
"Onii-chan...."
I couldn't help but to look up. My vision was slightly blurry from my tears. I wiped them off barbarically using my sleeves.
"Gambatte..."
I watched Kourin smile at me once more, before fading. The silver moonlight shone brightly, outlining whatever was left of her. Soon, she was completely gone.
"Kourin..." I whispered into the darkness. A soft gentle breeze blew, ruffling through my hair. I rushed to the window, taking a deep breath. I closed my eyes and smiled.
So, I was right all along.
I am in a perfect world.
A world with no tears, no pain, no sorrow...
Just a world with Kourin and me...
A perfect world...
My perfect world...
She was beside me all along...
"Thank you, Kourin..." I whispered into the dying wind.
I sighed before closing the window. I crawled into my bed and went to sleep with a smile on my face.
I love you, Kourin....
Forever and ever, for eternity....
You are my perfect world...
Perfect world....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Owari
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~