Disclaimer: Not sure if this is necessary as this is a fan fic but I don't
own anything of .Hack, all characters, locations and story stuff is the
property of Ban Dai and all other agencies that worked to make this great
game and anime.
Timeline: This story takes place in .Hack//Quarantine, after Cubia is defeated but before the final fight with The Wave. Please post reviews. Thank you much and hope you enjoy.
Just a Moment Longer
The World was not just an online game. This was a common misconception many believed to be true until they actually logged into The World for the first time. For in The World, players could make friends with people they may never have spoken to in the real world. For within The World, the limitations of your own imagination was all that limited what you could do within the elaborate online game. It was a way of being someone you always wanted to be, without the risk of breaking rules.
Timid or frightened people in the real world could be brave and courageous here. Those pushed around by others could PK if they so desired. Heroes or villains, it really didn't matter in the world, anonymity has always been the greatest weapon of any player.
But that wasn't the appeal of the world. It was that it was virtual, a world of color and sight so real to the human senses that players could almost taste it. It was amazing if anyone took the time to think about it. Nero implants in the VR helmets made nearly every experience real. When a player had lost hit points in a battle, their real world counterparts would suddenly feel weak, as if they shared the pain of their character. There were two safeguards regarding this though. Death within The World did not, fortunately, equate the same result in the real world, and pain suffered by a character would not transfer to their real selves.
That of course did not stop the more radical critiques of the game to voice, rather loudly at times, that suffering pain in the real world would authenticate the game to an even larger audience. Masochists are truly sick people.
There were a few who now believed that The World was more than an online game. She had not thought so at first, thinking it only a foolish waste of her brother's time, until he tried to show her what The World truly was by letting her choose a random selection of key words, (Delta- Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground) and gated her brother to an old church where his character would meet an unbeatable monster that, having destroyed his character, sent his real self into a coma.
She remembered it all perfectly. Remembered the doctors telling her parents Kazu was in a coma and they were lost as to the cause or what could be done. Remembering the fear and guilt she felt for having chosen the key words that led him to his condition. Finally realizing that the answers she sought to help her brother was inside The World, and taking weeks to finally get the courage to log into the network herself. It was etched into her memory, and always would be. She knew this, but at least now she had accepted it.
It was when she first logged into The World that she had met him, a scared and uncertain Twin Blade who seemed as lost as she was, though she, admittedly, was better at hiding it. She latched onto the unsure Twin Blade and dragged him along to the very church where all of her fears originated. That was nearly nine months ago. The two of them, the Twin Blade Kite, and the Heavy Blade BlackRose had become quite a team since then. There were difficulties of course, times when one or the other would lose faith and need the support of their partner to get them through their doubt. That was his gift to her. She had always been independent, but through him, through his kindness and quiet devotion, she realized sometimes even the strongest of people need to ask for help.
And it was at times like these that she wondered if she had given him anything in return. Sure, he had the bracelet, or rather he did before she destroyed it, and with it, Cubia. The bracelet had the power to destroy Data Bugs, the unbeatable monsters with infinite hit points and resistances that gave any normal player no chance of victory. So then, what had she been? Surely, couldn't anyone have been by his side this whole time? It seemed odd that of all the people he could have picked, he chose a newbie to help him.
Shrugging her virtual shoulders slightly, BlackRose walked across the wooden bridge of Mac Anu. She learned the hard way not to second-guess herself. She had done it for weeks after Kazu slipped into his coma, if only she had picked another key word...but life is filled with 'what ifs' and 'should have been', worrying about what could have happened won't change the fact that it did happen. The important part was what she was doing right now. They were close to defeating the cause of problems within The World, and with it freeing the coma victims. She truly believed it, because if it wasn't true, then she would lose all faith.
She allowed herself a small smile at how introspective she had become, another gift from Kite she supposed. They had defeated Cubia earlier today and she knew Wiseman, Lios and Helba were plotting the final assault against The Wave. For that reason, and knowing they were all mentally and emotionally exhausted, Kite told everyone to take some time for themselves, as much as they needed. He'd summon them when the preparations were finished.
For that reason, BlackRose chose not to log out. She felt deep down; she would only dwell on all the uncertain possibilities of what could happen if she was in the real world. It helped a great deal being around other players who played the game as it was meant to be, for fun rather than trying to find a cure for a coma patient. She would like to try to play this game as it should be played, for fun. But more importantly, she would like to play this game with Kite by her side, and she by Kite's side. Shoulder to shoulder, as they had done since the beginning.
She couldn't deny that she found herself thinking about Kite more than usual, more than she thought she would like to. She even told him this in an email, just to see his reaction, maybe to see if he thought she was becoming obsessed with the game. But he had told her nearly the same thing she said, and even now thinking about just a few caring words from an email, HIS email, brought a smile to her face and a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The ringing chime in her ear, the indicator that she had received a Flash Mail, however, pushed all thoughts from her mind about what had made her happy, and for an instant, believing she was now being summoned to the final battle, her insides involuntarily froze in the uncertain fear. The Flash Mail was indeed from Kite, however he had not summoned her to Net Slum as she had expected. Staring at the opaque, virtual sky, she read the message not visible to anyone but herself.
"He wants me to go there?" She voiced her confusion to the open air, knowing she would receive no answer until she arrived. Taking one last look at the town, and the people parading around with their own ideas and thoughts, she wondered if it would look the same to her when everything was done. At times she felt they had all gone too far for any of it to be the same.
Walking slowly up the path and avoiding as many people as she could while making her way to the Chaos Gate, BlackRose entered the key words she knew would take her to where Kite was waiting. A series of golden rings sprang from the ground, accompanied by the harmonic tones that she found both annoying and soothing at the same time.
Yet in the time it takes to blink an eye, she found herself in the designated field. A large stone church stood before her, surrounded by a chasm that could well have been a moat at one time, had she not thought the ideal of natural disasters and elemental changes within a virtual world ridiculous. But still, she always found amusement in running her fingers over the rough stonework of the church, feeling the sensation in her real fingers.
But this time she did not give much thought to the conceptual makeup of The World. Her partner was waiting for her and when it came to Kite, she couldn't help but put every thing else on hold. Walking the length of the great stone bridge, she reached the large wooden door and pushed it slowly open. Peering inside, she saw Kite sitting on the stone steps that led to the platform where the chained statue of the mysterious girl Aura was positioned. His posture was slightly hunched and he held one of his twin blades in his right hand, tapping it against the concrete floor in a rhythm BlackRose could neither place nor consider remotely in tune.
BlackRose liked to think she knew her partner well, sometimes it seemed she knew him better than he knew himself; certainly the reverse was true enough. Seeing him sitting on the steps, she knew immediately something was bothering him. Maybe he was simply nervous about the upcoming battle. Even if he felt he couldn't show that nervousness to anyone else, she knew he would show it to her.
"So, what's up?" She asked in her rough and tumble, ready for anything attitude that had almost become her trademark in The World, her voice echoing throughout the empty cathedral. When he didn't reply immediately, she walked the length of the church and sat next to him, watching him as if waiting for him to reply. She could tell something was troubling him; it was obviously something he didn't feel very comfortable bringing up but felt the need enough to summon her here. But the tendency to clam up when he should be talking was as much as his trademark as her fiery attitude was hers.
"You know, I could be doing something else if you don't feel like talking to me. I mean, you did summon me here." It was of course an empty threat, they both new it, but it always seemed to open him up when he needed just a little push. Also, as unwilling as she was to admit it to herself, she'd rather sit here next to Kite and have him say nothing, than be somewhere else without him.
"I talked to Lios," Kite's words were barely audible, and had BlackRose not been sitting right next to him she wouldn't have heard them at all. But whatever Kite and Lios talked about, Kite seemed hesitant to add.
After another minute of silence, BlackRose prodded her partner again. "Yeah, and?" She was used to his silent moods, but this seemed different, and she was slightly unnerved at how unsure he was to continue, as if he didn't want to tell her the next part.
"Well, I asked Lios to restrict Mistral's access." Kite said softly, as if he had gone too far with the authority he never wanted but was given to him by the rest of his group. "I mean, she is pregnant you know, I just thought...if the worst did happen, she wouldn't be in danger."
"Well...that's good, I mean, I can understand that. Did you already tell her?"
"Yes. She wasn't too happy, but I think she understood. She left once before because she didn't want to endanger the baby. This is worse than what we were doing then. So..." Kite broke off his defense, either realizing he no longer needed to justify what he did, or because he couldn't bring himself to finish what he wanted to say.
BlackRose smiled her brightest smile and leaned forward to look Kite in the face. His eyes were opened but seemed focused elsewhere as if lost in his own thoughts. "So, did you want me here to tell you you did the right thing?"
Kite took a deep breath and stealing a quick look at BlackRose, mounted all the resolve he believed he would ever have. "No. I...I also asked Lios to restrict your access."
The smile melted from her face, her amber eyes exploding in a mixture of hurt and anger. It took her a moment to pull together enough strength to bury any tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, and another moment to steady herself so her voice wouldn't shake. "What did Lios say?"
For his part, Kite didn't look at BlackRose; he gave her enough time to compose herself. This would tear her apart. He knew it, and she knew he knew it, and it was that fact that hurt her more than anything else.
"He told me to talk to you about it first." He seemed to build his determination to justify himself again, knowing that what he was doing was right. Even if she didn't understand, he had to make her understand why he would make a request like that. But turning to look his partner in the eyes, seeing the confusion, the hurt and pain he caused her sent his determination crumbling around him, and unable to stare her in the eyes, to see that pain anymore, he turned his face quickly to stare at the floor.
"Why?" It was the only word she managed to say or else risk revealing the quiver in her voice. It wasn't the pain, it was the betrayal. But she had to know why. He owed her that much.
It took a while before he responded; he simply looked at the floor, quietly thinking. He wasn't ignoring her question, she of all people had a right to know why he would ask this, but it was finding the right words that were proving difficult.
"When this all started," he began, not sure if what he was going to say was truly what he wanted to say or not. He only knew he should say something. "Orca showed me around The World. Showed me how great this game could be. But then he got data drained by Skeith and everything went to Hell. I didn't realize what happened until the next day when they told me Yasuhiko was in a coma. I mean this was only supposed to be a game. But then, just after that, I met you, and this place is where our journey started.
"Then I started thinking, if Orca hadn't gone into a coma, and your brother, we never would have met. And I felt guilty for thinking that."
"So what?" BlackRose interrupted, her anger quickly rising. "You throwing everything we've worked for away because you feel guilty?"
"No." Kite replied, shaking his head and pausing a moment longer to weigh his words, hoping he knew what he really wanted to say. "It's just that, well, without the bracelet, I don't know how much chance we really have to win. I know we have to try; there isn't any other choice. I just..."
"Well come on, spit it out!" BlackRose snapped. She was no longer hurt by Kite's suggestion she stay out of the last battle, that feeling was long gone. Now she was pissed.
"When Orca went into a coma, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. And I think about this last battle, the final fight against the Wave, and I realize if we fail, we might all end up the same way. Without the bracelet, we don't have an advantage. But, the more I've thought about it. The more I've thought about Orca and how hard it was to deal with, I realized..." Kite paused again, taking yet another deep breathe and willing himself to push forward. "I realized that Orca's condition wouldn't measure in comparison if that happened to you. I've thought about who I should take in the final battle, Sanjuro, Marlo, Natsume, Gardenia, Balmung...I hate myself for saying this, but if we fail and any of us, all of us fell into comas, it would be better than seeing you in that condition." Kite lowered his head again, resting his forehead against his left hand as he stared at the floor. "If that were to happen to you...I'd be lost." The last words were but a bare whisper, as if the mere contemplation of that outcome frightened him beyond words.
BlackRose couldn't stop the pounding of her heart or the knot that swelled in her stomach at hearing the words Kite said to her. In the midst of all that happened, of all that was to come, she thought of Kite more every day while in the real world, as if he filled all the missing pieces of her life...her real life. And now, before the end of all this fear and doubt within The World, she knew what she meant to him. It took all the strength of her will to keep from smiling at the revelation, but she wouldn't smile, not until everything was back to normal, until Kazu and Orca and all the others were awake. Until all the problems in The World were fixed. And so she stared at her partner with new understanding. She knew why he wanted her to stay out of the last fight, but that didn't mean she had to accept it.
"How can you be so arrogant?" BlackRose said, nearly as softly as Kite's final words to her. The Twin Blade raised his head and looked at his partner, confused at what he might have said to stoke her anger. But now it was BlackRose that looked away, afraid that her eyes might give away more than she was willing to share. Kite knew her as well as she knew him, and his ability to read her like a book was not something she could cope with now. "You'd be willing to sacrifice everyone, including yourself, just as long as I was safe. Do you really think you're the only one who feels like that?" BlackRose paused, now trying to figure out how to say the words that were forcing their way out of her mouth without saying more than she intended. "If it came to a choice between The World and you, I'd sacrifice The World. And if it meant sacrificing our friends to keep you safe, I'd do that too. I joined you to find the answer behind why people were falling into comas, to help Kazu; I'm not about to stop now. Kazu may have been my motivation for joining you, but not the reason I stayed..." BlackRose fell silent, now aware that she said what she hadn't intended to say. She blamed it on Kite, he always had the infuriating way of getting her to say more than she intended. Another gift he'd given her, and this one, at this time, was less than welcomed.
They remained silent for quite some time, sitting next to each other and staring at the floor or the walls, or just at some intangible thought that hovered just out of reach. It was a slow realization that they both came to understand. They were afraid. Not so much as fear of losing the final battle, but afraid of losing each other. They were partners, a team, and together they were better than either could ever hope to be alone.
"I'm sorry." Kite said after several minutes, breaking the strained silence first. He half glanced at BlackRose but held his eyes to her face, cautiously waiting for her response.
"Yeah...me too." She said softly, still staring at the floor. Her temper always made some their friends nervous. Lord knows she can hold a grudge, but not with Kite. No matter the situation, no matter how angry she was, a simple smile from him and her anger vanished. She hated that about him, yet at the same time she cherished it as well. It was a confusing feeling.
Kite placed his left hand on her shoulder and pulled her timidly towards him in a half hug, her body coming to rest against his left side. He wasn't really sure how she'd react, but she came into the embrace willingly. Leaning her head to rest it against his shoulder, she felt his head lean against hers. Closing her eyes she felt calm and secure and was slightly surprised at how perfect they fit together, as if this is where they both belonged.
A gentle squeeze of Kite's arm as he hugged her tighter confirmed he felt the same closeness she realized. And as they held each other, they forgot all the problems they faced, the problem to come. They were just comfortable in each other's presence.
Kite lifted his head suddenly, staring at the ceiling of the old church.
"What is it?" BlackRose asked raising her head to look at Kite before the chiming ring in her ear confirmed the Flash Mail summoning them. It was time.
"Lios is calling us." Kite said unnecessarily.
"I know." BlackRose answered, returning her head to Kite's shoulder and finding the comfortable place she just left.
"So," Kite smiled. "You coming?"
"Try and stop me." BlackRose smiled back.
Kite waited a few seconds before speaking again, not really eager to leave his place or move from his position. "Should we get going then?"
BlackRose leaned further into Kite's shoulder and twisted the fingers of her right hand around Kite's tunic until grabbing a hand full of material, just to prove he was really there. Closing her eyes she quietly answered him. "Sure, just...let's wait, just a moment longer."
Timeline: This story takes place in .Hack//Quarantine, after Cubia is defeated but before the final fight with The Wave. Please post reviews. Thank you much and hope you enjoy.
Just a Moment Longer
The World was not just an online game. This was a common misconception many believed to be true until they actually logged into The World for the first time. For in The World, players could make friends with people they may never have spoken to in the real world. For within The World, the limitations of your own imagination was all that limited what you could do within the elaborate online game. It was a way of being someone you always wanted to be, without the risk of breaking rules.
Timid or frightened people in the real world could be brave and courageous here. Those pushed around by others could PK if they so desired. Heroes or villains, it really didn't matter in the world, anonymity has always been the greatest weapon of any player.
But that wasn't the appeal of the world. It was that it was virtual, a world of color and sight so real to the human senses that players could almost taste it. It was amazing if anyone took the time to think about it. Nero implants in the VR helmets made nearly every experience real. When a player had lost hit points in a battle, their real world counterparts would suddenly feel weak, as if they shared the pain of their character. There were two safeguards regarding this though. Death within The World did not, fortunately, equate the same result in the real world, and pain suffered by a character would not transfer to their real selves.
That of course did not stop the more radical critiques of the game to voice, rather loudly at times, that suffering pain in the real world would authenticate the game to an even larger audience. Masochists are truly sick people.
There were a few who now believed that The World was more than an online game. She had not thought so at first, thinking it only a foolish waste of her brother's time, until he tried to show her what The World truly was by letting her choose a random selection of key words, (Delta- Hidden Forbidden Holy Ground) and gated her brother to an old church where his character would meet an unbeatable monster that, having destroyed his character, sent his real self into a coma.
She remembered it all perfectly. Remembered the doctors telling her parents Kazu was in a coma and they were lost as to the cause or what could be done. Remembering the fear and guilt she felt for having chosen the key words that led him to his condition. Finally realizing that the answers she sought to help her brother was inside The World, and taking weeks to finally get the courage to log into the network herself. It was etched into her memory, and always would be. She knew this, but at least now she had accepted it.
It was when she first logged into The World that she had met him, a scared and uncertain Twin Blade who seemed as lost as she was, though she, admittedly, was better at hiding it. She latched onto the unsure Twin Blade and dragged him along to the very church where all of her fears originated. That was nearly nine months ago. The two of them, the Twin Blade Kite, and the Heavy Blade BlackRose had become quite a team since then. There were difficulties of course, times when one or the other would lose faith and need the support of their partner to get them through their doubt. That was his gift to her. She had always been independent, but through him, through his kindness and quiet devotion, she realized sometimes even the strongest of people need to ask for help.
And it was at times like these that she wondered if she had given him anything in return. Sure, he had the bracelet, or rather he did before she destroyed it, and with it, Cubia. The bracelet had the power to destroy Data Bugs, the unbeatable monsters with infinite hit points and resistances that gave any normal player no chance of victory. So then, what had she been? Surely, couldn't anyone have been by his side this whole time? It seemed odd that of all the people he could have picked, he chose a newbie to help him.
Shrugging her virtual shoulders slightly, BlackRose walked across the wooden bridge of Mac Anu. She learned the hard way not to second-guess herself. She had done it for weeks after Kazu slipped into his coma, if only she had picked another key word...but life is filled with 'what ifs' and 'should have been', worrying about what could have happened won't change the fact that it did happen. The important part was what she was doing right now. They were close to defeating the cause of problems within The World, and with it freeing the coma victims. She truly believed it, because if it wasn't true, then she would lose all faith.
She allowed herself a small smile at how introspective she had become, another gift from Kite she supposed. They had defeated Cubia earlier today and she knew Wiseman, Lios and Helba were plotting the final assault against The Wave. For that reason, and knowing they were all mentally and emotionally exhausted, Kite told everyone to take some time for themselves, as much as they needed. He'd summon them when the preparations were finished.
For that reason, BlackRose chose not to log out. She felt deep down; she would only dwell on all the uncertain possibilities of what could happen if she was in the real world. It helped a great deal being around other players who played the game as it was meant to be, for fun rather than trying to find a cure for a coma patient. She would like to try to play this game as it should be played, for fun. But more importantly, she would like to play this game with Kite by her side, and she by Kite's side. Shoulder to shoulder, as they had done since the beginning.
She couldn't deny that she found herself thinking about Kite more than usual, more than she thought she would like to. She even told him this in an email, just to see his reaction, maybe to see if he thought she was becoming obsessed with the game. But he had told her nearly the same thing she said, and even now thinking about just a few caring words from an email, HIS email, brought a smile to her face and a nervous feeling in the pit of her stomach.
The ringing chime in her ear, the indicator that she had received a Flash Mail, however, pushed all thoughts from her mind about what had made her happy, and for an instant, believing she was now being summoned to the final battle, her insides involuntarily froze in the uncertain fear. The Flash Mail was indeed from Kite, however he had not summoned her to Net Slum as she had expected. Staring at the opaque, virtual sky, she read the message not visible to anyone but herself.
"He wants me to go there?" She voiced her confusion to the open air, knowing she would receive no answer until she arrived. Taking one last look at the town, and the people parading around with their own ideas and thoughts, she wondered if it would look the same to her when everything was done. At times she felt they had all gone too far for any of it to be the same.
Walking slowly up the path and avoiding as many people as she could while making her way to the Chaos Gate, BlackRose entered the key words she knew would take her to where Kite was waiting. A series of golden rings sprang from the ground, accompanied by the harmonic tones that she found both annoying and soothing at the same time.
Yet in the time it takes to blink an eye, she found herself in the designated field. A large stone church stood before her, surrounded by a chasm that could well have been a moat at one time, had she not thought the ideal of natural disasters and elemental changes within a virtual world ridiculous. But still, she always found amusement in running her fingers over the rough stonework of the church, feeling the sensation in her real fingers.
But this time she did not give much thought to the conceptual makeup of The World. Her partner was waiting for her and when it came to Kite, she couldn't help but put every thing else on hold. Walking the length of the great stone bridge, she reached the large wooden door and pushed it slowly open. Peering inside, she saw Kite sitting on the stone steps that led to the platform where the chained statue of the mysterious girl Aura was positioned. His posture was slightly hunched and he held one of his twin blades in his right hand, tapping it against the concrete floor in a rhythm BlackRose could neither place nor consider remotely in tune.
BlackRose liked to think she knew her partner well, sometimes it seemed she knew him better than he knew himself; certainly the reverse was true enough. Seeing him sitting on the steps, she knew immediately something was bothering him. Maybe he was simply nervous about the upcoming battle. Even if he felt he couldn't show that nervousness to anyone else, she knew he would show it to her.
"So, what's up?" She asked in her rough and tumble, ready for anything attitude that had almost become her trademark in The World, her voice echoing throughout the empty cathedral. When he didn't reply immediately, she walked the length of the church and sat next to him, watching him as if waiting for him to reply. She could tell something was troubling him; it was obviously something he didn't feel very comfortable bringing up but felt the need enough to summon her here. But the tendency to clam up when he should be talking was as much as his trademark as her fiery attitude was hers.
"You know, I could be doing something else if you don't feel like talking to me. I mean, you did summon me here." It was of course an empty threat, they both new it, but it always seemed to open him up when he needed just a little push. Also, as unwilling as she was to admit it to herself, she'd rather sit here next to Kite and have him say nothing, than be somewhere else without him.
"I talked to Lios," Kite's words were barely audible, and had BlackRose not been sitting right next to him she wouldn't have heard them at all. But whatever Kite and Lios talked about, Kite seemed hesitant to add.
After another minute of silence, BlackRose prodded her partner again. "Yeah, and?" She was used to his silent moods, but this seemed different, and she was slightly unnerved at how unsure he was to continue, as if he didn't want to tell her the next part.
"Well, I asked Lios to restrict Mistral's access." Kite said softly, as if he had gone too far with the authority he never wanted but was given to him by the rest of his group. "I mean, she is pregnant you know, I just thought...if the worst did happen, she wouldn't be in danger."
"Well...that's good, I mean, I can understand that. Did you already tell her?"
"Yes. She wasn't too happy, but I think she understood. She left once before because she didn't want to endanger the baby. This is worse than what we were doing then. So..." Kite broke off his defense, either realizing he no longer needed to justify what he did, or because he couldn't bring himself to finish what he wanted to say.
BlackRose smiled her brightest smile and leaned forward to look Kite in the face. His eyes were opened but seemed focused elsewhere as if lost in his own thoughts. "So, did you want me here to tell you you did the right thing?"
Kite took a deep breath and stealing a quick look at BlackRose, mounted all the resolve he believed he would ever have. "No. I...I also asked Lios to restrict your access."
The smile melted from her face, her amber eyes exploding in a mixture of hurt and anger. It took her a moment to pull together enough strength to bury any tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, and another moment to steady herself so her voice wouldn't shake. "What did Lios say?"
For his part, Kite didn't look at BlackRose; he gave her enough time to compose herself. This would tear her apart. He knew it, and she knew he knew it, and it was that fact that hurt her more than anything else.
"He told me to talk to you about it first." He seemed to build his determination to justify himself again, knowing that what he was doing was right. Even if she didn't understand, he had to make her understand why he would make a request like that. But turning to look his partner in the eyes, seeing the confusion, the hurt and pain he caused her sent his determination crumbling around him, and unable to stare her in the eyes, to see that pain anymore, he turned his face quickly to stare at the floor.
"Why?" It was the only word she managed to say or else risk revealing the quiver in her voice. It wasn't the pain, it was the betrayal. But she had to know why. He owed her that much.
It took a while before he responded; he simply looked at the floor, quietly thinking. He wasn't ignoring her question, she of all people had a right to know why he would ask this, but it was finding the right words that were proving difficult.
"When this all started," he began, not sure if what he was going to say was truly what he wanted to say or not. He only knew he should say something. "Orca showed me around The World. Showed me how great this game could be. But then he got data drained by Skeith and everything went to Hell. I didn't realize what happened until the next day when they told me Yasuhiko was in a coma. I mean this was only supposed to be a game. But then, just after that, I met you, and this place is where our journey started.
"Then I started thinking, if Orca hadn't gone into a coma, and your brother, we never would have met. And I felt guilty for thinking that."
"So what?" BlackRose interrupted, her anger quickly rising. "You throwing everything we've worked for away because you feel guilty?"
"No." Kite replied, shaking his head and pausing a moment longer to weigh his words, hoping he knew what he really wanted to say. "It's just that, well, without the bracelet, I don't know how much chance we really have to win. I know we have to try; there isn't any other choice. I just..."
"Well come on, spit it out!" BlackRose snapped. She was no longer hurt by Kite's suggestion she stay out of the last battle, that feeling was long gone. Now she was pissed.
"When Orca went into a coma, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with. And I think about this last battle, the final fight against the Wave, and I realize if we fail, we might all end up the same way. Without the bracelet, we don't have an advantage. But, the more I've thought about it. The more I've thought about Orca and how hard it was to deal with, I realized..." Kite paused again, taking yet another deep breathe and willing himself to push forward. "I realized that Orca's condition wouldn't measure in comparison if that happened to you. I've thought about who I should take in the final battle, Sanjuro, Marlo, Natsume, Gardenia, Balmung...I hate myself for saying this, but if we fail and any of us, all of us fell into comas, it would be better than seeing you in that condition." Kite lowered his head again, resting his forehead against his left hand as he stared at the floor. "If that were to happen to you...I'd be lost." The last words were but a bare whisper, as if the mere contemplation of that outcome frightened him beyond words.
BlackRose couldn't stop the pounding of her heart or the knot that swelled in her stomach at hearing the words Kite said to her. In the midst of all that happened, of all that was to come, she thought of Kite more every day while in the real world, as if he filled all the missing pieces of her life...her real life. And now, before the end of all this fear and doubt within The World, she knew what she meant to him. It took all the strength of her will to keep from smiling at the revelation, but she wouldn't smile, not until everything was back to normal, until Kazu and Orca and all the others were awake. Until all the problems in The World were fixed. And so she stared at her partner with new understanding. She knew why he wanted her to stay out of the last fight, but that didn't mean she had to accept it.
"How can you be so arrogant?" BlackRose said, nearly as softly as Kite's final words to her. The Twin Blade raised his head and looked at his partner, confused at what he might have said to stoke her anger. But now it was BlackRose that looked away, afraid that her eyes might give away more than she was willing to share. Kite knew her as well as she knew him, and his ability to read her like a book was not something she could cope with now. "You'd be willing to sacrifice everyone, including yourself, just as long as I was safe. Do you really think you're the only one who feels like that?" BlackRose paused, now trying to figure out how to say the words that were forcing their way out of her mouth without saying more than she intended. "If it came to a choice between The World and you, I'd sacrifice The World. And if it meant sacrificing our friends to keep you safe, I'd do that too. I joined you to find the answer behind why people were falling into comas, to help Kazu; I'm not about to stop now. Kazu may have been my motivation for joining you, but not the reason I stayed..." BlackRose fell silent, now aware that she said what she hadn't intended to say. She blamed it on Kite, he always had the infuriating way of getting her to say more than she intended. Another gift he'd given her, and this one, at this time, was less than welcomed.
They remained silent for quite some time, sitting next to each other and staring at the floor or the walls, or just at some intangible thought that hovered just out of reach. It was a slow realization that they both came to understand. They were afraid. Not so much as fear of losing the final battle, but afraid of losing each other. They were partners, a team, and together they were better than either could ever hope to be alone.
"I'm sorry." Kite said after several minutes, breaking the strained silence first. He half glanced at BlackRose but held his eyes to her face, cautiously waiting for her response.
"Yeah...me too." She said softly, still staring at the floor. Her temper always made some their friends nervous. Lord knows she can hold a grudge, but not with Kite. No matter the situation, no matter how angry she was, a simple smile from him and her anger vanished. She hated that about him, yet at the same time she cherished it as well. It was a confusing feeling.
Kite placed his left hand on her shoulder and pulled her timidly towards him in a half hug, her body coming to rest against his left side. He wasn't really sure how she'd react, but she came into the embrace willingly. Leaning her head to rest it against his shoulder, she felt his head lean against hers. Closing her eyes she felt calm and secure and was slightly surprised at how perfect they fit together, as if this is where they both belonged.
A gentle squeeze of Kite's arm as he hugged her tighter confirmed he felt the same closeness she realized. And as they held each other, they forgot all the problems they faced, the problem to come. They were just comfortable in each other's presence.
Kite lifted his head suddenly, staring at the ceiling of the old church.
"What is it?" BlackRose asked raising her head to look at Kite before the chiming ring in her ear confirmed the Flash Mail summoning them. It was time.
"Lios is calling us." Kite said unnecessarily.
"I know." BlackRose answered, returning her head to Kite's shoulder and finding the comfortable place she just left.
"So," Kite smiled. "You coming?"
"Try and stop me." BlackRose smiled back.
Kite waited a few seconds before speaking again, not really eager to leave his place or move from his position. "Should we get going then?"
BlackRose leaned further into Kite's shoulder and twisted the fingers of her right hand around Kite's tunic until grabbing a hand full of material, just to prove he was really there. Closing her eyes she quietly answered him. "Sure, just...let's wait, just a moment longer."