Inuyasha bashed his fist on the surface of the river water. He pounded his fists over and over, letting his knuckles bleed. No pain could ever bring back what he had done. He made the biggest mistake of his life choosing who to save. In fact, he didn't save neither, but nobody died. It pained him so much that both of them lived, but only one can stay. And he had picked her. He was such a fool. Inuyasha closed his eyes and pounded at the water faster and harder. He tried to forget what had happened, but it was too hard.
Flashback to Chapter Four : A Decision ? ( Never Before Read Scene )
Inuyasha winced. A obvious pained look flashed across Kagome's face, and Inuyasha just wanted to punch himself. He clenched his hands into a fist and sunk his claws in his palm until it bled. But he didn't care. He wanted to do more to himself. He wanted to throw himself against a tree until he was unconscious. This was the last thing he wanted to tell Kagome. He didn't want her here anymore. But he knew he had to say it. For her safety. If only she knew ..
But Kagome had other things in mind to say to him. " Inuyasha, I know who you are gonna choose when the time comes. And I just want to let you know, no matter what, I'll still be by your side. If Kikyou sends me home, I'll still be here for you, thinking about you when you need me. Don't think about the rest of the world, if they say you made the wrong decision, your decision will always be right to me. Because I .. "
Inuyasha backed away, A LOT MORE. He was still stepping when he saw Kagome's hurt face. Good. She's hurt. Go home Kagome, go home .. I can't bear all this shit.
Kagome was so still and the pained expression on her face grew. There she was, trying to the person she always wanted to tell her first three words she had never ever said to anyone, and he didn't want her here. He knows I'd tell him I like him more than a friend. He knows. I know he knows. I can see it in his face. And he doesn't want to hear it. But why ? Is it because ? Oh my god. How could I be so blind ? He doesn't love me ! He'll never love me ! He loves Kikyou ! Why am I so stupid !
" I see. " Kagome manage to say without crying, but tears had already began to form. " .. but what if I never told you what I just said ? Would you .. you let me stay ? "
Inuyasha stiffened at Kagome's ready-to-cry state. He hated doing this but he knew he had to. " No. " Inuyasha breathed in confidently, " No I wouldn't. Go home Kagome. Please. Stay there .. I .. " Inuyasha needn't to go on though. Kagome had fled from him. Forever.
Flashback Ends
Inuyasha thought it would be okay. He thought nobody would mind but he was wrong. He sure did. He hated himself now. He wished he was never born. His fist came crashing down to a rock Inuyasha could not see. He could feel pain shooting up every part in his body, but he ignored it. Nothing would ever fix the pain he was feeling. Thinking back at what had happened ..
" DO SOMETHING ! " Inuyasha could hear Shippou crying out to him. Yeah. That's what he did. Something. Something he'll regret forever.
The demons closed in on the two mikos, as Inuyasha glanced desperately at the two women he loved and cherished. Kagome or Kikyou ? Kikyou or Kagome ? Inuyasha could not choose, until his eyes deceived him. He laid them on that one woman, and he called out to her ; " Kikyou ! "
Everything froze in this world they were all living in. Sango stopped screaming, Miroku stopped praying, the demons stopped lunging, Kikyou and Kagome stayed as still as they were. The world was silent, and Inuyasha closed his eyes.
For a moment, nobody moved. Nobody dared to breathe. Inuyasha could hear his heart beat, pounding loud in his ears. He couldn't believe what he had said. He had called out to KikyouThe woman he will be spending in hell with, the woman who hated him so much, the woman that Inuyasha loved, the woman that was dead. Kagome's words flashed back into his head ; At least I'm smart enough not to love a dead miko.
Inuyasha slowly turned his head to the demons. But they were gone. A illusion ?
" The demons ' assignment me is over. They are not needed anymore. The moment that the choice is picked, they will be vanished as they are. " Kikyou stepped back a few steps. " It is obvious who Inuyasha has chosen to love and live with. I will give you all to say your goodbyes to the girl you will never seen again until tomorrow's sunset. If she is not gone by then, I will destroy her. Farewell. " As if on cue, Kikyou's soul collectors flew to Kikyou and lifted her up. With a final cold smile at Inuyasha, Kikyou left, leaving the rest stunned and heartbroken.
The air was still as cold and silent when Kikyou's aura was around. But now it was a hundred times worse. Everyone knew Kagome would have to go back home forever, whether she liked it or not. If not, Kikyou would come back and kill her. Nobody dared to speak a word at Inuyasha or Kagome, but Shippou didn't care. He burst into a new fit of tears, and rushed to Kagome's arms, " Kagome ! I don't want you to leave ! You can't leave ! Please don't ! I love you ! " Shippou cried on and on, saying the same words over and over. All it did was add more pain and agony to the air around them.
Sango and Miroku broke from their silence and walked over to Shippou. They picked him off Kagome, whose face was nothing than a mere blank under her thick black hair. The two dragged a protesting Shippou away, leaving Inuyasha and Kagome alone.
The air was a million times colder than before with Inuyasha and Kagome alone. Nobody said a word, and time passed. Finally, Kagome spoke; " Well. I guess I'll be going. "
Inuyasha jerked his head up, staring at Kagome's hidden face with wide eyes. " Y-you're leaving ? "
Kagome's head was still down.
" Why ? " Inuyasha recklessly blurted out.
Kagome's head stayed down.
" Put your damnhead up will you ?! " Inuyasha yelled, as he shoved his fist to the ground, causing a loud rumble.
Slowly, Kagome faced Inuyasha. Inuyasha gasped and backed away. Tears, an endless flow of them, ran down Kagome's face. Her eyes were red and swollen, she had cried silently from the start of Inuyasha's decision. But what Inuyasha didn't understand was, not because she was crying, it was because she was smiling. Grinning from ear to ear, her lips curved up into her usual beautiful smile.
" Kagome .. " Inuyasha hated this. The air around them was just horrible.
Kagome didn't answer. Tears just kept on flowing, and she kept on smiling. " Gotta go, bye ! " she said cheerfully, picked up her backpack and ran.
" KAGOME ! " Inuyasha yelled, and raced after her.
But Kagome kept on running, she couldn't let Inuyasha see her cry. She had to be happy, even though she felt tears spill over her eyes, she could not add more burden to Inuyasha's heart. She was running blindly, silently sobbing to herself when she crashed into something big and soft. Toppling over, Kagome landed flat on her chest. Quickly, she picked herself up, glanced back and wondered if Inuyasha had caught up with her. But nobody was there. Nobody has chasing after her, like she wanted somebody to. He didn't care. Shaking her head, Kagome scrambled up and kept on running, but the figure that blocked her was still there. Looking up, her eyes widened.
It was Inuyasha. Kagome quickly looked down and tried to run past him, but he blocked her with his arms. She tried harder and tried every way she could to past him, but he blocked her every move. Kagome kept on trying and trying until finally, she broke down in sobs, crying to Inuyasha to let her go.
" Inuyasha ! I have to go ! I have to ! "
" Why ? " asked Inuyasha softly, his face sad.
She faced him, her face marked with pure sorrow, " Do you know how hard it is to leave happily when the one you love and trusted all your life, chose another woman to be with and love ? " Kagome stared right into Inuyasha's amber eyes and screamed, " Do you ?! "
That made Inuyasha stop blocking her.
Kagome noticed this. Quickly, she ran past Inuyasha, leaving him standing alone in a lonely pathway, stunned.
" Inuyasha ? " a voice called, breaking Inuyasha out of his misery. Inuyasha kept his head down facing the water. How come I didn't sense Sango coming ?
Sango walked over to Inuyasha, and sat down on the edge of the river bank. " It's almost sunset, Inuyasha. Everybody else is inside the hut. Don't you want to say goodbye to Kagome before she goes ? "
Inuyasha kept his head down, felt anger boiling up inside of him, " She's gone already, Sango. " he clenched his teeth, trying not to yell.
Sango gave him a crooked smile, " No she isn't. " Inuyasha jerked his head up, looked at Sango with a puzzled face. " She's still inside Kaede's hut, saying goodbye to everybody. Why don't you go inside ? "
" I-I can't. " Inuyasha let his head fall, as he fisted the water again. Sango stared at him.
" Why not ? "
Inuyasha looked up at Sango's sincere and concerned face. Maybe I should tell her. She could tell me what to do. What if she laughs ? Ooh, I'll kill her.
Inuyasha took a deep breath and said, " Back in the forest, when you guys left, Kagome tried to run but I blocked her. Then she told me .. " Inuyasha stopped, as guilt washed over his body, " .. do you know how hard it is to leave happily when the one you love and trusted all your life, chose another woman to be with and love. " Inuyasha turned his head back into the water, hating himself a thousand times more.
Sango stayed still, but a smile had crept onto her face. Inuyasha sensed it, and growled at her, " What's so funny ?! " Damn, she doesn't believe me !
" Don't worry Inuyasha, I wont tell anybody. I knew this a long time ago. Just to tell you. "
Inuyasha rushed forward right up to Sango and stared at her with widened eyes, " What did you say ?! "
Sango giggled and looked at Inuyasha sympathetically, " Yes Inuyasha. Kagome never wanted you to know, because she didn't want you to make your decision more difficult. But she told me a while ago, but I think you should know by now. "
Inuyasha backed away to the water again. His head was full of thoughts and confusion. She loved me that long ago ? Holy shit ..
" Inuyasha, Kikyou has tried to kill Kagome many times, but Kagome denied it. She didn't want Kikyou to have a bad name, because she knew you loved her. She would do anything to bring a smile upon your face, even if it meant giving away her life. Don't you see, Inuyasha ? She loves you. "
Sango stood up from the river bank, " You can do whatever you want Inuyasha, but I think you should at least say goodbye to her. I would want you to if I were her. " Sango flashed a encouraging smile at Inuyasha, and went back to the hut.
For a few moments, Inuyasha just stood there, letting the sun's beam fade on his still face. What should he do ?
Kagome put the last aspirin box slowly inside her backpack. She could still hear Shippou behind her, desperately holding in his tears, trying to look tough. Miroku and Sango just sat there, watching Kagome get ready to leave. Kagome sighed and zipped her backpack up and threw it over her shoulders. " I think I'll go now. " Miroku and Sango quickly stood up and embraced her. Kagome was surprised that Miroku wasn't perverted .. for once.
WHAM !Okay, maybe not.
Sango shook her sore fist, and squeezed Kagome on the hand, " We'll miss you so much, Kagome. We love you and we'll always remember you. " Sango's eyes were red as she bit her lip. Kagome smiled, and hugged her. " Kohaku will be saved without my help, Sango. I love you too. "
Miroku cleared his throat, and Kagome giggled. She let go of Sango and hugged Miroku. " Try to lay easy on her, okay ? I love you too, Miroku. Be careful. " Kagome smiled at him and glanced at Shippou, who was curled up miserably in the corner.
Kagome walked up to him and picked him up. Shippou sniffed hard and looked at Kagome's sad face. Finally, he burst into a waterfall of tears. " Kagome ! You can't just leave like this ! You're my mommy ! " He cried, as tears ran down his small face.
Kagome tried to smile, " Sango can always be your mommy, Shippou. "
" No ! She's my aunt ! " protested Shippou, still crying.
" Oh Shippou, I love you. " Kagome embraced him, as Shippou cried on.
" DON'T SAY THAT ! " he whimpered, as Kagome let him go. Shippou looked up at her sadly, but smiled brightly, " Hey Kagome. You can't leave yet ! "
" Why not ? " Kagome asked, amused.
" Because you're missing one aspirin box thing, and you need it for your way back. " Shippou smiled triumphantly.
Kagome bent down to him and put out her hand. Shippou pouted, " You use to be more fun Kagome. " He reached into his pocket and pulled out an aspirin box and handed to her.
" Remember me. " Kagome whispered and she stood up.
She looked at all of her friends surrounding her. If only that special person was there. " Remember to say my goodbyes to Kaede and .. " Kagome tried to sound firm, even though her heart felt like breaking. " Inuyasha. " Kagome smiled and walked out of the hut .. for the very last time.
" Kagome ! " shouted a voice. A blast tunnel of wind stormed in next to Kagome, who was walking to the sacred well.
" Kouga ? " Kagome asked, feeling disappointed it wasn't somebody else she was expecting.
Kouga smiled at Kagome and walked up to her, " I heard what happened, Kagome. Why don't you stay with me so you can still visit your friends and never be bothered by that Kikyou. " Kouga took her hands, and Kagome smiled weakly at him.
" I'm sorry Kouga. But I can't. " Kagome slipped her hands out of his. " Goodbye. Thanks for everything. " Kagome gave Kouga a quick hug.
Kouga looked surprised but hugged her back, " I wanna walk you to the well. "
" No Kouga, I don't think .. "
" HEY FLEA-BAG, GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF KAGOME ! " demanded a voice behind them.
Kouga rolled his eyes, but Kagome brightened up, " Inuyasha ! "
Inuyasha jumped from a nearby tree, and gave Kouga a menacing look. " I said, get – your – hands – off – of – Kagome. "
Kouga released Kagome and planted his hands on his hips. " And why should I do that ? "
" Because I need to talk to her, so I think you should leave. " Inuyasha suggested sarcastically." Oh yeah ? " Kouga started as Kagome stiffened. H-he needs to talk to me ?
" Um, I think I'm going now. Bye guys .. " Kagome turned around and tried to run but Kouga grabbed her by the arm.
" Look Inuyasha, you scared my princess ! What the hell do you think you're doing ? I heard everything ! You hurt her and now you're gonna ask her back just like that ? I won't allow it ! You think she's that stupid mutt face ?! Do you ?! " Kouga shouted.
Inuyasha looked surprised and stepped back. Déjà vu back to yesterday ..
She faced him, her face marked with anger and sorrow, " Do you know how hard it is to leave happily when the one you love and trusted all your life, chose another woman to be with and love ? " Kagome stared right into Inuyasha's amber eyes and screamed, " Do you ?! "
" No, I don't. " answered Inuyasha stiffly, as Kouga stepped back, surprised.
" What did you say, Inuyasha ? " Kouga didn't get it. Usually Inuyasha would scream and lunge at him. What happened ?
" Listen, Kouga. We hate each other and all, but can I talk to Kagome privately for one last time ? " Inuyasha asked, his voice stiff and hollow.
for one last time So he's not asking me back. Kagome thought bitterly. I should leave before they notice I'm gone ..
" Fine. Since this is your last time seeing Kagome, I'll be nice. " Kouga smirked and blasted off.
Oh, hello again awkwardness .. Kagome thought
After a few moments, Inuyasha sighed. " Kagome. " He started as he stepped to Kagome.
" What is there to talk about, Inuyasha ? " Kagome dipped her head low, trying not to show Inuyasha that her eyes water again.
" You know what you said .. yesterday .. " Inuyasha hinted uncomfortably, as he took another step to her.
Kagome's face turned red, she looked up to the sky, trying to look happy. " Yeah ? What about ? Oh I just said that cause I .. I .. meant it .. for um .. Kouga. NO ! Not Kouga, MIROKU ! No .. um .. I was just talking trash, yeah that's it. To make you feel bad ! Yeah .. " Kagome felt the red creeping back to her face.
Inuyasha's face remained sad as he took another step towards her, " You're not that type of person who makes people feel bad, Kagome. You do the opposite .. "
Kagome sighed, knowing it was true. What should I say ?
" Kagome .. " Inuyasha clenched his fists together, " I'm sorry. "
Kagome finally looked at him, surprised. Did he just say ' sorry ' ? Whoa ..
" I'm sorry. " Inuyasha repeated, grimacing every time he said it. " I didn't mean to hurt you, I never do. I'm sorry I didn't know you felt that way. Now I understand .. "
" How would you understand Inuyasha ? You don't lo .. " Kagome drifted off pathetically.
" I do. "
Kagome stared at him, wide eyed. " You do .. what ? "
Now it was Inuyasha's turn to turn red, but he went on anyways, " I do .. l-love y-y-y-you. " There, I said it. That stupid little wench better be happy or I'll ..
Suddenly, Kagome rushed into his arms like a bullet, whimpering sobs. Inuyasha swallowed, feeling embarrassed, but he hugged her anyways.
" I love you, Inuyasha. No matter what's going to happen. " Kagome cried, her shoulders trembling uncontrollably.
" I do, Kagome. But I already made my choice. I had to choose Kikyou, Kagome. She died for me. I know you would, but she already did. " Inuyasha hugged Kagome tighter and buried his head in her hair. " I'm sorry. "
" I know. " Kagome answered sadly, knowing it was true. " I would die for you, Inuyasha. "
" Kagome, would you .. would you .. " Inuyasha started, as he released Kagome. " Would you .. you .. you .. stay with me ? "
Kagome looked surprised but she smiled sympathetically, " I can't Inuyasha. Kikyou will come and destroy me. "
" I won't let her ! " Inuyasha jutted out his chin, as Kagome giggled.
" I'm sorry. " Kagome said, as she put her head on his chest again.
" Me too. " Inuyasha agreed, sounding sad.
" Inuyasha ! " a voice suddenly yelled behind them.
Inuyasha and Kagome whipped around, releasing each other
. " K-Kikyou ? " Inuyasha stammered, staring at the pale figure that looked like Kagome.
" Go to hell ! " Kikyou drew an arrow and shot it at Inuyasha at full speed.
Inuyasha ducked it and grabbed Kagome. " Run ! "
Inuyasha scrambled up and lifted Kagome on his shoulders. He glanced behind them as Kikyou drew another arrow.
" Hold on. " Inuyasha clenched his teeth and leapt inside Inuyasha Forest.
Why does THIS feel so different ? Kagome thought sarcastically, as she laid her head down on Inuyasha's back.
Suddenly, Inuyasha stopped. Kagome squealed in surprised and looked up. Kikyou was in front of them, with an arrow drawn. " Come to hell with me, Inuyasha, and we shall live together forever. "
" Damn that Kikyou ! " yelled Inuyasha, letting Kagome slide off of him.
" What's this, Inuyasha ? " Kikyou nodded at Kagome, her arrow still drawn, " She was suppose to be gone ! "
" Well, you can't everything you want in life, Kikyou ! " Inuyasha snapped back, raising his fist.
" Do you love her more than me, Inuyasha ? " Kikyou taunted, her eyes burning with fire.
Inuyasha hesitated, " That's none of your business ! "
Kagome sighed and stared at Inuyasha. He still loves her. After all this.
" Leave her alone, Kikyou ! She has done no harm to you ! "
" She has done everything ! Have you gone mad ? She destroyed the jewel, played you with wolf boy, and separated us apart ! And she has done nothing, no ? " Kikyou sounded mad, as she drew her arrow further.
" Kikyou, that's just bullshit and you know it ! " Inuyasha cursed and lunged at her. " Damn you ! "
" Die, Inuyasha ! " Kikyou yelled, and let go of the arrow. Right at Inuyasha.
" KIKYOU ! " shrieked Inuyasha. He shut his eyes, ready to feel the piercing arrow sink into his heart once more. I'm sorry, Kagome ..
He landed on his feet and winced. I can't run .. it's too late.
Inuyasha waited and waited. But the feeling of the arrow never came. Inuyasha cracked an eye open, and gasped. Kagome was in front of him with her arms held out, as if she was trying to protect Inuyasha.
" K-Kagome ?! Kagome ! " Inuyasha yelled. But Kagome stayed still.
Kagome let out a gasp, as she felt an arrow sinking beneath her skin. Her eyes started to blank, as she felt herself falling backwards to the ground. Inuyasha caught her, his eyes widening. He kept on screaming her name over and over. " Kagome ! Wake up ! Kagome ! Kagome ! You can't leave me ! Kagome, KAGOME ! "
A/N : Not done, review please.