Author: Kelsey Rating: R Disclaimer: Nothing of The O.C. is mine, except the memory of catching that seal with squid bait on Newport pier... Summary: A possible explanation of why Kirsten is less than motherly towards Ryan A/N: I have no idea where this came from. I blame "Angst-Free Ryan Week"

Kirsten knew she hadn't exactly warmly welcomed Ryan into her home. Sandy had assumed her reluctance to be annoyance at taking in another kid.
It wasn't really. Kirsten had long expected Sandy to bring home a stray, she just hadn't expected one quite so beautiful.
Ryan complicated things. He was Sandy's protégé, Seth's best friend, and Kirsten's own feelings for Ryan were far from motherly.
He seemed so much older than Seth. It seemed those ice blue eyes knew everything, like with a penetrating stare all was revealed. Kirsten hoped to god that wasn't true. And that body, no one Ryan's age should have that kind of body. She'd had to buy Ryan new clothes. Many more mornings of tousle-haired, wife-beater clad Ryan and Kirsten couldn't be accountable for her behavior.
So Ryan was a problem. A problem who had a hero-complex and who could fry the perfect piece of bacon. What woman wouldn't want that?
But Kirsten *couldn't* want that. Ryan was practically her son. It was just so wrong on so many levels.
Julie Cooper had fucked Luke Ward. Though Kirsten would never admit it, her righteous indignation was coupled with jealousy. She wouldn't want anyone to do that to Seth. She wanted to do Ryan.
Which made her feel incredibly guilty. Ryan was Seth's brother, her son. Which also kinda turned her on.
She was acting like a school girl with a crush. Come to think of it, that's exactly what she is. School girl, no, crush, yes, on her *son*. If she hadn't welcomed Ryan with welcome arms, it was because she was doing her best not to welcome him with open legs.
Oh god. This was getting ridiculous. He's just a kid.
A wise kid. An old kid. A kid that practically oozed sexuality. He wasn't a virgin, Kirsten had eavesdropped that much. He and Marissa were broken up, Theresa was getting married. Ryan was single.
Kirsten couldn't possibly be considering this, could she? Could she really proposition her nearly-son? And what would she do if he said no? Worse, what if he said yes?
She could picture it, walking out to the pool house late one night. He would be waiting for her, leaning against the doorframe with a knowing smirk. The wouldn't speak, just look each other over. At some point their eyes would meet and at this point Kirsten's fantasy skipped over the awkward kissing and removing each-other's clothes phase, and straight to bed. She would be under him, caressing him, her nails clawing his back-
"Morning Kirsten," Ryan's voice startled her. She jumped, blushed, and held on to her coffee cup for dear life. As he entered the kitchen he inquired, "Did I scare you?"
"I was lost in thought," Kirsten stared into her coffee cup to avoid meeting the eyes of *her son*. "How did you sleep?"
"Okay. Should I make breakfast?" Ryan asked uncomfortably. Kirsten wondered if he could feel the sexual tension too. Of course not, probably just the tension.
"If you feel like it," Kirsten looked up. Dear god, the damn wife- beater was back. Kirsten momentarily recalled her fantasy, before taking a long swig of hot black coffee. It burned her throat, but at least she was no longer picturing Ryan naked.
"Good morning family!" Sandy kissed Kirsten. She felt her cheeks burn.
*Sandy* Sandy her husband. Sandy whom she loved dearly. Sandy who loved her.
She had honestly considered sleeping with Ryan and hardly given a thought to Sandy.
She really was a horrible person.