Romeo and Juliet- With a Hogwarts Twist
Act One- Scene Three
[Curtain opens to reveal Hermione's bedroom. Mrs. Malfoy enters to find Madame Pomfry.]
Malfoy: I must speak to Hermione. It is very urgent.
Pomfry: Oh yes, how Hermione is budding! Why, it was just yesterday that I was feeding her and cradling her and eating cake... She's so perfect and beautiful! She was just telling me how bright the sun was and that cheese was yellow! The birds sang, though they sing everyday by my shoe, and Hermione was just flying with joy, singing about black cows and the moon made of milk!... but how I ramble...
Malfoy: Quite.
Pomfry: Hermione! Come 'ere you precious girl! You pretty-as-a-lamb-on-a-spring-day-with-blue-pretty-flowers-in-your-wool!
Malfoy: For God's sake woman, shut up!
[Enter Hermione]
Hermione: Yes, O nurse?
Pomfry: O how she glows! She's so beautiful and angelic and cherubic and perfect and wonderful and glorious and jumped-right-out-of-a-painting-that-
Malfoy: Shut it! [to Hermione] I must discuss something for your future with you, dearest Hermione.
Hermione: MIT, mother! MIT!
Malfoy: [flustered] What?!
Hermione: I wanna go to MIT!
Malfoy: I'm talking about getting married, twit!
Hermione:... Oh... To who?
Malfoy: The fair County... Oliver Wood!
Pomfry: Ooh! Sir Oliver Wood! "Wood" I love to be in your shoes, fairest Hermione! That Oliver... [makes unnecessary noise]
Hermione:... That's disgusting.
Malfoy: At least check him out at the happinin' shindig...
Hermione: Okay... But I won't like him...
[Exit all, curtain falls]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: That nurse is disgusting,
I hope you agree.
Now onto scene four,
Please forget about scene three.
[Exit Chorus, shuddering]
Act One- Scene Three
[Curtain opens to reveal Hermione's bedroom. Mrs. Malfoy enters to find Madame Pomfry.]
Malfoy: I must speak to Hermione. It is very urgent.
Pomfry: Oh yes, how Hermione is budding! Why, it was just yesterday that I was feeding her and cradling her and eating cake... She's so perfect and beautiful! She was just telling me how bright the sun was and that cheese was yellow! The birds sang, though they sing everyday by my shoe, and Hermione was just flying with joy, singing about black cows and the moon made of milk!... but how I ramble...
Malfoy: Quite.
Pomfry: Hermione! Come 'ere you precious girl! You pretty-as-a-lamb-on-a-spring-day-with-blue-pretty-flowers-in-your-wool!
Malfoy: For God's sake woman, shut up!
[Enter Hermione]
Hermione: Yes, O nurse?
Pomfry: O how she glows! She's so beautiful and angelic and cherubic and perfect and wonderful and glorious and jumped-right-out-of-a-painting-that-
Malfoy: Shut it! [to Hermione] I must discuss something for your future with you, dearest Hermione.
Hermione: MIT, mother! MIT!
Malfoy: [flustered] What?!
Hermione: I wanna go to MIT!
Malfoy: I'm talking about getting married, twit!
Hermione:... Oh... To who?
Malfoy: The fair County... Oliver Wood!
Pomfry: Ooh! Sir Oliver Wood! "Wood" I love to be in your shoes, fairest Hermione! That Oliver... [makes unnecessary noise]
Hermione:... That's disgusting.
Malfoy: At least check him out at the happinin' shindig...
Hermione: Okay... But I won't like him...
[Exit all, curtain falls]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: That nurse is disgusting,
I hope you agree.
Now onto scene four,
Please forget about scene three.
[Exit Chorus, shuddering]