Author's Note: Thanks, PasifiKStaR. I'm happy you're still reading this story. Oh yeah, I don't know how expensive a Chocobo doll can get…in truth, I haven't even seen one. But I want one, too, so I'm reflecting it in Rinoa. Haha! This is a Lemon Chapter, okay? But it won't be too bad because the lemon was only used to prolong the chapter. And Squall acts real stupid here, so bear with it, okay?

Chapter Five

                "Squall…" Rinoa mumbled, crawling into Squall's bed and snuggling close to him. She had gotten out of her room and gone into Squall's.

                "Rinoa?" he asked. "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"

                Rinoa bit her lip then said in a hushed voice, "I…I know it sounds childish but...I had a bad dream...again…" Squall wrapped and arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. "I've been having so many nightmares lately, Squall…I…I'm scared."

                "It was only a dream, Rinoa…" he whispered.

                "It…It was really bad this time," she said.

                "Do you want to tell me?" he asked.

                She sat up and he did as well. "I…I dreamt that you…that you lied to me. That there never was anything between us and you just made everything up." He took her in his arms and held her close. She responded to his embrace and said, "You told me that none of everything you said was true and then…and then you…you…"

                Rinoa choked on her words and he ran his hand up and down her back to comfort her. "It's okay…" he told her. He felt her start to cry. "Don't cry, Rinoa…"

                She swallowed hard and said, 'You…you raped me and killed me…"

                He looked at her. "I would never do that."

                "I…I know you won't," she said. "I love you so much, Squally…"

                He caught her lips with his own and lay her down gently. "Shush…" he murmured. His hands were gently roaming her body in a soothing manner. He leaned toward her and began nipping lovingly on her bare shoulder. Their legs entwined and what had started out as a gentle reassurance soon became a somewhat harried show of affection.

                "Squall…" she mumbled beneath her breath as he slipped her nightdress off her. He stopped and looked at her.

                "What is it, Rinoa?" he asked her. She paused and he said, "We…we don't have to if you don't want to."

                "No. I want to," she said, kissing him. "I love you, Squall."

                He caught a nipple in his mouth and tenderly sucked it as his hand caressed her other breast. She moaned softly and he began to suck on the other nipple. Her fingers ran through his hair as his movements started to become more rushed. He kissed her again, sliding his tongue into her mouth. His tongue played with hers as his hand found its way between her legs.

                She cried out faintly as his finger slid inside her. He let go of her lips and found her breathing somewhat erratic. He inserted a second finger and she whimpered. He smiled, knowing now that it was most likely that Seifer – whoever he was – had never had the pleasure of touching her. It was likely, too, that he would be her first time.

                "Rinoa…" he whispered, his eyes remaining on hers.

                "I…I'm scared…" she said.

                He kissed her lightly and said in a gentle voice, "Don't be. There's no need to be scared. It's just me, Squall. I won't hurt you…"

                He groped for her entrance, feeling his heart beating quickly. As he entered her slowly, he watched her expression for the slightest hint of pain. He didn't want to hurt her.  "Squall," she whispered, biting her lip.

                "Does it hurt…?" he asked.

                "Yes…" she answered. "But don't stop. I love you. I love you, so don't stop."

                He leaned down so he could murmur comforting words in her ear as he pushed deeper. 'Take it slow and easy,' he thought to himself. He had done this before but all of those other times were hasty and careless. This one…this one was different. He looked at her again and she smiled. It was a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless.

                Squall started to move in and out of her in a slow, steady pace, always careful. 'Do I love her?' he thought. He wanted so much to say those words but why couldn't he? Didn't he love her? If he didn't love her, why did he want to be so gentle, so caring? He moved a little faster and a tear rolled down her cheek.

                He wiped it away. "Don't cry, Rinoa," he said, slowing down again.

                "More, Squall…" she said.

                He swallowed hard but moved faster. "More…" she whispered again and he went still faster. No more words passed between them, only moans and groans. 'I love you…' he thought. 'I love you so much, Rinoa…shit, why can't I say it? Why is it so hard to tell her I love her?' He was so close now, but he wanted it to last.

                "Rinoa…?" he asked. 'How do I say it?' he thought. 'How do I tell her I love her?'

                She looked up at him, her brown eyes filled with love and he found himself unable to say it again. He thrust faster, reveling in the feeling of being inside her, of being the one to claim her. She was his and he loved her. Now all he had to do was say it.

                "I love you, Squall," she said. He couldn't say it back…what was wrong with him? His seed burst into her; his warm hot liquid. He collapsed and her arms wrapped around him 'Shit, Rinoa, I love you but…fuck Hyne! How the hell do I say it?' he thought. 'Why the hell is it so damned fucking hard? I am such an asshole…'

                He rolled off her and lay on his back. She rested her hand on his chest and sighed. "That was wonderful, Squall…" she said. "I love you."

                'Say it! Say it!' he thought, angry with himself. 'What's wrong with me? I know I want to tell her, but I can't! I'm so stupid…I need to sleep…'

                But he couldn't sleep. For once his mind and his heart agreed with one another. He loved Rinoa, he had to tell her. He wouldn't be able to sleep until he said it....'Three words…it's just three fucking words,' he thought. He listened to her breathe. It was even. She had already fallen asleep. But he had to tell her. He had to tell her now.

                He reached for her hand and said, "Rinoa…are you awake? Wake up, Rin…"

                "Hm…?" she said her voice soft. "What's wrong, Squall…?"

                He gritted his teeth hard. 'Tell her,' he thought. 'She loves me and she tells me so. I love her…I should tell her. I shouldn't be stupid…I woke her up…I already am stupid…I need to stop thinking…I have to tell her…she deserves to know.'

                "Rinoa…" he said. "Listen, okay? I need to tell you something…"

                "I'm listening," she said. "What is it?" He grasped her hand tightly and said in a soft, almost inaudible murmur, "I…I love you."

                She didn't say anything for a while and he wondered if she even heard him. He just stared at the ceiling and she snuggled closer to him, murmuring, "Say it again, Squall."

                "I love you, Rinoa," he said in a louder, clearer voice. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" he said. It felt good to tell her. "I love you more than anything, Rinoa. I love you more than I believe I do."

                "I love you, too, Squall…" she said with a small laugh as she gradually fell back to sleep, a smile playing on her lips. He found that he still couldn't sleep. He just needed to hold her. He lovingly stroked her hair, listened once more to her breathe, felt her warmth beside him. This was all he needed. Rinoa was all he needed. For the first time, he admitted he cared for someone other than himself.

                Then he remembered about that guy she asked him about…Seifer…

                'Rinoa is mine, Seifer…' he thought in an almost insane selfishness and jealousy. 'I don't care who you are or what you can do to me but I'll never give her back…not on my life…not for the world…not ever…'