Romeo and Juliet- With a Hogwarts Twist
Act 1- Scene 5
[Suitors and masks arrive at Capulet's house, Capulet meeting them at the door.]
Lucius: Why, I remember when we were young, we went to our first mask. You were quite the looker in your green evening gown.
Malfoy: You can't even remember breakfast let alone the color of my evening gown, you old fogey.
Lucius: We had breakfast?
[As Ron tries futilely to hit on Capulet girls, Harry suddenly spies Hermione across the room]
Harry: Holy paintball gremlins! She's gorgeous! Must... have...
[Harry's excessive drooling alerts the attention of Draco]
Draco: What? What the hell is a Montague doing at our happinin' shindig?! It's... it's that goody-goody Harry! Uncle Lucius! There's an icky Montague at our happinin' shindig!
Lucius: Ah, he isn't doing any harm. Let him be, Draco me boy.
Draco: Let him... Okay, who spiked my Uncle's punch? ... But I swear, Harry... I'll kill you for showing up at our happinin' shindig at our groovy pad.... Wow, that threat really fell out at the end didn't it?
Harry: Eeeeyyy, what's happening beautiful?
Hermione: Gee, you're smooth.
Harry: Aren't I?
Hermione: Despite your degrading speech and arrogant manner, I find myself strangely attracted to you...
Harry: And I you!
[The party starts suddenly and strangely filing out]
Harry: Well that was a short party.
Hermione: Farewell dark-haired one! We shall never meet again!
[Hermione leaves]
Harry: [to Nurse] Who IS that babe?
Pomfry: Why, she's the most beautiful, kind, sweet, admirable, nimblest, fastest, toughest, could-paint-a-right-good-picture-of-her flashiness that could be a-
Harry: Talk a lot, don't you?
Pomfry: Hrmph... She's Hermione Capulet, daughter of-
Harry: Hermione CAPULET? What have I done!? I can't love a Capulet! ... Who am I kidding? This is LOVE!
Pomfry: You're not the bright type, are you?
[Exit all, curtain closes]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: Could you please hurry this up,
I've got an appointment at two,
I'd rather get my teeth pulled
Than have to sit here with you.
[Exit Chorus]
Act 1- Scene 5
[Suitors and masks arrive at Capulet's house, Capulet meeting them at the door.]
Lucius: Why, I remember when we were young, we went to our first mask. You were quite the looker in your green evening gown.
Malfoy: You can't even remember breakfast let alone the color of my evening gown, you old fogey.
Lucius: We had breakfast?
[As Ron tries futilely to hit on Capulet girls, Harry suddenly spies Hermione across the room]
Harry: Holy paintball gremlins! She's gorgeous! Must... have...
[Harry's excessive drooling alerts the attention of Draco]
Draco: What? What the hell is a Montague doing at our happinin' shindig?! It's... it's that goody-goody Harry! Uncle Lucius! There's an icky Montague at our happinin' shindig!
Lucius: Ah, he isn't doing any harm. Let him be, Draco me boy.
Draco: Let him... Okay, who spiked my Uncle's punch? ... But I swear, Harry... I'll kill you for showing up at our happinin' shindig at our groovy pad.... Wow, that threat really fell out at the end didn't it?
Harry: Eeeeyyy, what's happening beautiful?
Hermione: Gee, you're smooth.
Harry: Aren't I?
Hermione: Despite your degrading speech and arrogant manner, I find myself strangely attracted to you...
Harry: And I you!
[The party starts suddenly and strangely filing out]
Harry: Well that was a short party.
Hermione: Farewell dark-haired one! We shall never meet again!
[Hermione leaves]
Harry: [to Nurse] Who IS that babe?
Pomfry: Why, she's the most beautiful, kind, sweet, admirable, nimblest, fastest, toughest, could-paint-a-right-good-picture-of-her flashiness that could be a-
Harry: Talk a lot, don't you?
Pomfry: Hrmph... She's Hermione Capulet, daughter of-
Harry: Hermione CAPULET? What have I done!? I can't love a Capulet! ... Who am I kidding? This is LOVE!
Pomfry: You're not the bright type, are you?
[Exit all, curtain closes]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: Could you please hurry this up,
I've got an appointment at two,
I'd rather get my teeth pulled
Than have to sit here with you.
[Exit Chorus]