Disclaimer: I own nothing. J.K. Rowling is a goddess.

Author: Verdant Quest

Warnings: Slash, strong language

Rating: PG

Pairing: Sirius Black/Severus Snape

Spoilers: PoA

Summary: Sirius explains a few realities to the least likely suspect.

Author's Note: Ideas taken from The First Kiss Project. Takes place during the Marauders era. Conversation formatting was used.

Realizations

Sirius Black (SB) accosted Severus Snape following a particularly grueling Care of Magical Creatures Lesson with Professor Dippet, "Kiss me", he demanded with absolutely no forewarning.

Severus Snape (SS) who had been preparing to deliver a devastatingly cutting remark at one of his least favorite people found himself flabbergasted, "What?!"

Never one to elaborate on any subject unnecessarily, SB repeated himself glibly "I said, kiss me."

SS, who naturally wanted nothing to do with aforementioned (afore-implied?) lunatic proclaimed: "No! What are you thinking of? I can't kiss you!

Not to be rebuked SB announced to SS, "Yes, you can."

Confused, upset and more than a little nervous SS could only stammer out the obvious: "But we hate each other!"

SB, naturally took this in stride, "So what?"

SS tried to explain himself, "So, you can't kiss someone you despise!"

SB (doubting) "You despise me? Truly?"

As if this was self-evident SS insisted: "Yes!"

Amusedly SB challenged SS: "I don't believe you."

SS snorted derisively, "Well. You should." Then he continued in a know-it-all voice: "Anyway, we're both guys."

An 'And your point being?' expression flashed over SB's handsome countenance "So?"

SS, disgusted at his companion's lack of observational skills explained, "So, guys don't kiss each other!

SB laughed in genuine amusement, "Sure they do. Don't be naïve!"

Shocked and somewhat curious SS asked: "Wait! Really?…I thought you could only kiss girls."

SB kindly clarified "Not at all. Lots of guys kiss girls, but quite a few kiss boys too."

As if this made the Universe crystal SS went along with the theory, "Oh. Well, okay then."

SB, apparently having lost track of the conversation inquired dully, "Okay, what?"

Patiently SS elaborated "Okay, I'll kiss you."

SB who was feeling relieved and excited exclaimed "Thank Circe!"

SB confessed, "I was worried I'd be the last boy in our year to kiss anyone."

SS was very startled, "…you too?"

Reluctantly and with a fair amount of embarrassment at his non-existent love life SB admitted that "Oh, well…yeah."

Feeling self-satisfied SS smirked, "Hmm. Come here."

SB cried out eagerly: "Oh…yeah!"

Taking charge of the unruly Gryffindor boy SS instructed SB to "Lean into me."

SB who was blushing agreed, "Right."

noises

Thrilled with the successful results of their study SB announced "Wow! Oh, wow!"

Then SB wondered why he hadn't realized how remarkable kissing and Severus Snape actually were and aloud added: "Why didn't I ever do that before? Why didn't we do that before?"

Ever serious and literal SS merely reminded SB that "You never asked me before."

SB shook his head over his past foolishness and suggested with no little amount of self-interest that perhaps "Next time just take the initiative; that way we don't have to wait until I ask. Wastes less time that way."

SS considered for a moment and then nodded wisely " True." Then he progressed to take this sound advice.

noises

SB, thoroughly enjoying every moment yelled: "Oh. Yeah!"

SS for once at a loss for coherency within his verbal ejaculations agreed "Woah."

The End.