Act Two- Scene Two
[Curtain opens to reveal Capulet's orchard with Harry trying to scale the wall]
Harry: Love.... conquers.... all...
[Harry falls down the wall... again]
Harry: Great gobs of gopher meat! The maskers are coming!
[As drunken maskers wander down the street, the power of love propells Harry up the orchard wall, where he clings for dear life. After they have gone, Harry climbs down the other side of the wall.]
Harry: Hey, this must be where Hermione sleeps. Heh... All the things I could-
Hermone: Harry-
Harry: Crud! I've been spotted! Run or face my-
Hermione: If I could only see my dearest Harry again. Too bad he's a stinky Montague.
Harry: Oh. So I haven't been caught. Hmm... Listen to her inermost secrets involving me or flee? C'mon, I'm not THAT stupid.
Hermione: Well... so WHAT if he's a Montague? He is too good for that name! I love him no matter what his name is! If he were lying in wait at the bottom of my balcony listening to my every word and sickering like a smitten schoolboy, then I would wish him to leap up and into my arms!
Harry:... She asked for it. [emerges from hiding spot] I was listening to you from a hidden spot under your balcony and snickering like a smitten schoolboy! But I wub you too! Gimmie huggles!
Hermione: Okay, getting a little too close there, cowboy.
Harry: But... you said you loved me!
Hermione: I did, didn't I? Hmmm... Well, I know that if anyone really loved me, he would run immediately out and get us hitched!
[Harry dashes suddenly from his spot]
Hermione: HEY! Where are you going?
Harry: To get us hitched, of course! You want the red or white flowers?
Hermione: Don't you think this is a bit-
Pomfry: Oh little poppy seed named Hermione! It's time for your pre-bedtime spongebath! C'mere, you fluffy-little-lovable-wooly-sheep-who-baa's-us-to-sleep-with-her-nighttime-songs-of-beauty-and-love-and-caring-that-is-sweet-and-nurturing!!
Hermione: ..... Okay, I want the red flowers and a small wedding, got me?
Harry: Of course my snuggly-wuggly love!
Hermione: [Aside] What am I getting myself into? And yet... I love him too...
Harry: La dee da, gonna get me married! Yessiree!
Hermione: What's the alternative?
[Harry skips offstage and Hermione enters the house again. Curtain closes.]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: Don't mushy scenes put a tear in your eye?
Don't some of them want to make you cry?
Of course I'm crying out of pain,
Get me out of here! I can't remain!!
[Exit Chorus]
[Curtain opens to reveal Capulet's orchard with Harry trying to scale the wall]
Harry: Love.... conquers.... all...
[Harry falls down the wall... again]
Harry: Great gobs of gopher meat! The maskers are coming!
[As drunken maskers wander down the street, the power of love propells Harry up the orchard wall, where he clings for dear life. After they have gone, Harry climbs down the other side of the wall.]
Harry: Hey, this must be where Hermione sleeps. Heh... All the things I could-
Hermone: Harry-
Harry: Crud! I've been spotted! Run or face my-
Hermione: If I could only see my dearest Harry again. Too bad he's a stinky Montague.
Harry: Oh. So I haven't been caught. Hmm... Listen to her inermost secrets involving me or flee? C'mon, I'm not THAT stupid.
Hermione: Well... so WHAT if he's a Montague? He is too good for that name! I love him no matter what his name is! If he were lying in wait at the bottom of my balcony listening to my every word and sickering like a smitten schoolboy, then I would wish him to leap up and into my arms!
Harry:... She asked for it. [emerges from hiding spot] I was listening to you from a hidden spot under your balcony and snickering like a smitten schoolboy! But I wub you too! Gimmie huggles!
Hermione: Okay, getting a little too close there, cowboy.
Harry: But... you said you loved me!
Hermione: I did, didn't I? Hmmm... Well, I know that if anyone really loved me, he would run immediately out and get us hitched!
[Harry dashes suddenly from his spot]
Hermione: HEY! Where are you going?
Harry: To get us hitched, of course! You want the red or white flowers?
Hermione: Don't you think this is a bit-
Pomfry: Oh little poppy seed named Hermione! It's time for your pre-bedtime spongebath! C'mere, you fluffy-little-lovable-wooly-sheep-who-baa's-us-to-sleep-with-her-nighttime-songs-of-beauty-and-love-and-caring-that-is-sweet-and-nurturing!!
Hermione: ..... Okay, I want the red flowers and a small wedding, got me?
Harry: Of course my snuggly-wuggly love!
Hermione: [Aside] What am I getting myself into? And yet... I love him too...
Harry: La dee da, gonna get me married! Yessiree!
Hermione: What's the alternative?
[Harry skips offstage and Hermione enters the house again. Curtain closes.]
[Enter Chorus]
Snape: Don't mushy scenes put a tear in your eye?
Don't some of them want to make you cry?
Of course I'm crying out of pain,
Get me out of here! I can't remain!!
[Exit Chorus]