Author's Note: Here's Chapter Eleven. As I said, I don't like making you wait. I spent an hour making this chapter…that's like an hour I could have used for reviewing for my test. But at least I can update now. Thanks to my three constant reviewers: The wise, diamonddust1414 and PasifiKStaR. You guys make the time I use up for my story worth it. Have fun. I'll have Chapter Twelve up as soon as possible. Oh yeah, sorry that Squall will be acting OOC again…
Chapter Eleven
Rinoa made sure that both Fujin and Raijin were fast asleep before she left the house. She wanted to see Squall again. They hadn't been able to talk that morning because Raijin had started to look for her and almost found her with Squall. First she urged Raijin to play cards with her then got him drunk. He was knocked out immediately. Fujin, on the other hand, wasn't like Raijin so Rinoa just cast a sleep spell on her. Now she was free to go out.
She stepped out and Angelo silently followed. Rinoa closed the door behind her and she and Angelo walked towards the hotel. When they got to there, Rinoa saw Squall instantly. She ran to him and said, "Hi, Squall!"
He nodded his greeting and they walked together. "Rinoa," he said. "I have something I want to return to you." He reached into his pocket and took out the diary. He handed it to her and she took it.
"So you did find it, huh?" she said with a laugh. "I was wondering if you found it or not for a while. Um…where's the key, Squall?"
"Oh," he said. "Right…" He took off a chain he wore around his neck and handed it to her. The key hung on the chain and Rinoa smiled. "Did you always wear this, Squall?"
He didn't answer. Angelo started to playfully skip around them and Rinoa sighed. "Did I tell you I missed you?"
"You did?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered. "I missed you very much. I thought about you everyday. Did you ever think about me?"
Squall paused and Rinoa said, "Are you ignoring me?"
"No," he muttered.
"Then say something," she said. "I wanted to talk to you so much and I wanted to see you so badly and now that we're together you aren't gonna say anything?" She frowned as hit his arm. "Squall! Are you listening?"
"No," he answered.
Rinoa sighed again. "What are you thinking of then?"
He didn't say anything. They stopped walking since they didn't even know where they were heading in the first place. He looked at her. "You're very pretty," he said. "I can't help but notice…"
Rinoa blushed slightly. "So…" she mumbled. "What were you thinking when you read my diary? Were you laughing? Oh, no, of course not. You don't laugh…"
"I have a question," he said.
"Okay," she answered.
"How are you?" he asked.
Rinoa stared at him. "Um…I'm…good."
"And what about Seifer? Is Seifer here in Winhill?" he queried. He said Seifer's name in a way that Rinoa almost wanted to hesitate in answering his question. However, she shook it off and said, "No, he isn't here. He's at Esthar. He went to see your Father, you know."
"Why?"
"Your Father kept insisting on formally apologizing about what happened between us," Rinoa answered. "But I think there's really nothing to apologize about. You never did anything wrong to me…or at least, anything I thought was wrong. Everything seemed so right when I was with you, Squall. I loved you very much."
Squall took note that she said 'love' in the past tense. Did that mean she didn't love him anymore? "So…is Seifer treating you right?" he asked.
"Yes," she answered with a smile. "He's very kind to me. He never ignores me and he always listens to what I have to tell him."
'So unlike me…' Squall thought. "What else?" he asked.
"Well…he gives me what I want…" she answered.
'Reminds me of that chocobo doll…' he thought. 'She probably replaced it by now with something from Seifer…'
"Oh, and he never avoids my questions," she said. "He always answers them."
'Even more unlike me…' his mind said. 'She must like Seifer better than me now…'
"And he likes to be with me all the time. He usually cancels meetings or whatever he has to do whenever I ask him just so that he could be with me," she told him with a smile. "Isn't that nice of him?"
'Whatever…'
"And most importantly, he tells me he loves me all the time," Rinoa finished. "He's really been nice to me so there's no reason you should worry abut me anymore."
Squall stared at her. What was she thinking of at that moment? They continued their walk and she began telling him about what had happened the past three months. He didn't say anything to her as she spoke but Rinoa didn't mind. She seemed to know by then that it wasn't his nature to speak much.
As they reached the exit to town, Rinoa faced him and smiled. "Squall, I missed you, you know." He leaned down and kissed her. He didn't let go, he just savored it for a while. Rinoa pulled away and looked at him sadly. "That's enough, Squall. You know this is wrong."
"Why is it wrong?" he asked. "I love you, Rinoa."
"I know you do," she said. "But I can't love you anymore. It started out wrong and we're going to end it right, okay? I don't want to keep doing this anymore; I don't want to live this lie. I…I loved you, but I have to forget that now. And so do you, Squall. Find someone who can be with you, who can love you with all your heart. I…I don't think I'm that person."
"I know you're that person," he insisted.
"Squall, stop," she pleaded. "I told you, we are going to end this right. I belong with Seifer, you know that. Seifer loves me and he deserves to be loved back."
"Yeah?" he said. "Well what about me? I love you; don't I deserve to be loved back?"
"Squall, you're different," he said. "I never even knew you before you lied to me. It was an accident that I fell in love with you. It was a mistake. Squall, let's remain friends, please? I really don't want to go the wrong way again."
He didn't say anything. "Let's talk tomorrow, Squall," she said. "Okay?"
"Yeah, sure…" he said, his voice becoming cold.
Rinoa walked away, Angelo following her. Squall only watched her, unable to move. He was acting so strangely and it was all because of one girl. It was strange what love could do to a person…
Rinoa reached the house to find Raijin and Fujin still asleep. She went upstairs to her room. Angelo lay at the foot of her bed as she walked into the bathroom and started to get undressed as the bathtub filled with warm water. Then, she immersed herself in the tub, trying to stop thinking about Squall. But it was all in vain. Squall stayed in her mind.
She could help but wonder if she had hurt his feelings. She hadn't seen any hint of his emotion but she was almost sure she had. Her conscience began to reprimand her, make her feel guilt. Squall loved her…and she turned him down because she said their love was a lie.
'I'm sorry, Squall…' she thought. 'But you aren't all I have…you were never all I have. And you lied to me…I can forgive you, but I can no longer love you…'