Chapter 3
Sakyou,I'm so sorry. I never thought you were going to save me. Why did you do it? You ended your life and you could've made something great out of yourself. You could have started all over again. We could have been friends. Maybe not lovers again...but friends. But no.
You had to leave me...and Shizuru. You don't know how much you hurt her Sakyou. She misses you so much. Didn't you care about that? Why did you have to kill yourself Sakyou? I still think about you,you know. I can't stop thinking about you when I go to sleep. And when I do,I cry because I know you aren't here.
You took me when I didn't have anybody to look up to. You were more than my lover Sakyou. You were more like a father to me. You took me in when I almost got sick in the rain. I remember everything Sakyou. But now I don't want to remember. I don't want to even think I have a past! ALL BECAUSE YOU DAMMIT!
Why the hell did you have to leave Sakyou?! Why didn't you just take my hand and let me save you. You could have started a great life with her. You could've had children and told them your story,even though you screwed up.
That's what everyone does right? They screw up once in their life,but then they realize it was just a stupid mistake. But no. You just couldn't do that! I think you're just a stupid fool who threw it all away for nothing. You really could've been something great Sakyou. But how stupid I was to believe that.
But now that I think back on my past Sakyou,I think about you now. But now just now,but for the rest of my life dammit! I shake my head thinking about how great a person you would've been. You saved my life Sakyou. Why didn't you let me save yours? Why?
"Nicole?"it was Shizuru.
"Shizuru? What are you doing here?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing."
I sank to the ground. "I tried to save him Shizuru....I really tried...he just wouldn't let me...
She knew what I was talking about. "It's ok. I understand why he did it now."
I shook my head "Shizuru...you don't understand."
"What's wrong?"
"I used to love him Shizuru. But I left him because I thought he was just trying to use me. But then he saved my life at the Dark Tournament. I went to the stadium to see if I could find him and I did. I tried to save him because I knew how much you cared about him...I knew you tried to save him too...but I just couldn't do it! I didn't even get to say I was sorry Shizuru!!!" I buried my face in my hands and started to cry.
She hugged me. "I had no idea about any of that. He saved my life too...and I fell in love with him. I didn't want him to leave either...but he just did."
"He took me in Shizuru. He took my in when I had no one else. He was more like a father to me. But I threw all that away. I should have never gone to the Dark Tournament,but it was Kurama's idea that I went." I started to dry away my tears. "I felt so stupid."
"I know how you feel. But crying isn't going to bring him back. Now dry your tears and let's go back to Genkai's."
"How can you be so calm?"
"Because I know in my heart that he's still with me Nicole. I still think about him. I even thought that I might have a life with him. But I know I can't have that now. But quit worrying about it. Let's go now!"
She ran off but I stayed behind. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Why was I feeling like this? I had hated Sakyou. Well...at least I thought I did. I just wish that none of this would've happened. But I loved Kurama. No,I wish I had never gone to the Dark Tournament.
"Nicole!"Kurama yelled as he ran over and hugged me. "Are you ok? You look like you've been crying. What's wrong?"
I started crying again. "I'm sorry Kurama...I just can't stop thinking about him..."
"Shhhhh....It's ok...Calm down. It's all right. I'm here..."
"I'm so sorry Kurama. It's just so hard..."
"Nicole,listen to me."
I obeyed.
"It's going to be ok. I promise. I love you." He hugged me and kissed my forehead. "This was all my fault."
I shook my head. "No it wasn't Kurama. I came. I went with you."
"Because I wanted you to."
"I went because I loved you Kurama. And I still do. You didn't know he was going to be there."
He sighed. "You're right. I didn't."
"Don't blame yourself Kurama. I shouldn't have gone into the woods. That was my fault to begin with."
"Let's stop playing the blame game now. It's over with. Everything is going to go back to the way it was."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I love you."
"I love you too."
"C'mon. I'll take you home."
I shook my head. "You can stay here."
"I love you. I'm going with you."
"Ok."
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Sakyou,I'm so sorry. I never thought you were going to save me. Why did you do it? You ended your life and you could've made something great out of yourself. You could have started all over again. We could have been friends. Maybe not lovers again...but friends. But no.
You had to leave me...and Shizuru. You don't know how much you hurt her Sakyou. She misses you so much. Didn't you care about that? Why did you have to kill yourself Sakyou? I still think about you,you know. I can't stop thinking about you when I go to sleep. And when I do,I cry because I know you aren't here.
You took me when I didn't have anybody to look up to. You were more than my lover Sakyou. You were more like a father to me. You took me in when I almost got sick in the rain. I remember everything Sakyou. But now I don't want to remember. I don't want to even think I have a past! ALL BECAUSE YOU DAMMIT!
Why the hell did you have to leave Sakyou?! Why didn't you just take my hand and let me save you. You could have started a great life with her. You could've had children and told them your story,even though you screwed up.
That's what everyone does right? They screw up once in their life,but then they realize it was just a stupid mistake. But no. You just couldn't do that! I think you're just a stupid fool who threw it all away for nothing. You really could've been something great Sakyou. But how stupid I was to believe that.
But now that I think back on my past Sakyou,I think about you now. But now just now,but for the rest of my life dammit! I shake my head thinking about how great a person you would've been. You saved my life Sakyou. Why didn't you let me save yours? Why?
"Nicole?"it was Shizuru.
"Shizuru? What are you doing here?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing."
I sank to the ground. "I tried to save him Shizuru....I really tried...he just wouldn't let me...
She knew what I was talking about. "It's ok. I understand why he did it now."
I shook my head "Shizuru...you don't understand."
"What's wrong?"
"I used to love him Shizuru. But I left him because I thought he was just trying to use me. But then he saved my life at the Dark Tournament. I went to the stadium to see if I could find him and I did. I tried to save him because I knew how much you cared about him...I knew you tried to save him too...but I just couldn't do it! I didn't even get to say I was sorry Shizuru!!!" I buried my face in my hands and started to cry.
She hugged me. "I had no idea about any of that. He saved my life too...and I fell in love with him. I didn't want him to leave either...but he just did."
"He took me in Shizuru. He took my in when I had no one else. He was more like a father to me. But I threw all that away. I should have never gone to the Dark Tournament,but it was Kurama's idea that I went." I started to dry away my tears. "I felt so stupid."
"I know how you feel. But crying isn't going to bring him back. Now dry your tears and let's go back to Genkai's."
"How can you be so calm?"
"Because I know in my heart that he's still with me Nicole. I still think about him. I even thought that I might have a life with him. But I know I can't have that now. But quit worrying about it. Let's go now!"
She ran off but I stayed behind. I couldn't stop thinking about what had happened. Why was I feeling like this? I had hated Sakyou. Well...at least I thought I did. I just wish that none of this would've happened. But I loved Kurama. No,I wish I had never gone to the Dark Tournament.
"Nicole!"Kurama yelled as he ran over and hugged me. "Are you ok? You look like you've been crying. What's wrong?"
I started crying again. "I'm sorry Kurama...I just can't stop thinking about him..."
"Shhhhh....It's ok...Calm down. It's all right. I'm here..."
"I'm so sorry Kurama. It's just so hard..."
"Nicole,listen to me."
I obeyed.
"It's going to be ok. I promise. I love you." He hugged me and kissed my forehead. "This was all my fault."
I shook my head. "No it wasn't Kurama. I came. I went with you."
"Because I wanted you to."
"I went because I loved you Kurama. And I still do. You didn't know he was going to be there."
He sighed. "You're right. I didn't."
"Don't blame yourself Kurama. I shouldn't have gone into the woods. That was my fault to begin with."
"Let's stop playing the blame game now. It's over with. Everything is going to go back to the way it was."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because I love you."
"I love you too."
"C'mon. I'll take you home."
I shook my head. "You can stay here."
"I love you. I'm going with you."
"Ok."
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