Sandy checked on Ryan a number of times during the night. He was so
worried that Ryan would take off again that he couldn't sleep. If he left
at night again, then Sandy was afraid they would never find him. Luckily
each time Sandy looked in, Ryan was still there. He had hoped that meant
they could talk some more in the morning, and Ryan would listen.
When Ryan didn't join them for breakfast, Sandy decided to bring his breakfast to him, so they could talk, again. Damn, he thought, as he looked into the pool house and saw Ryan lying there, just staring at the ceiling, it's just like with Oliver. He's shutting us out, again. He thought we let him down back then and he thinks we let him down again now. Only this time, Sandy thought, this time, Ryan was right. We did let him down. We let Julie Cooper get to him first.
"Hey, kid," he said as he walked into the pool house, "I brought you some coffee and some breakfast. Thought you might be hungry."
But Ryan didn't answer. He only sat up and shrugged.
"You ok?" Sandy asked as he handed Ryan his coffee.
Ryan only looked at him and snidely said,
"Oh, yeah, wonderful."
Sandy told himself that it was ok for Ryan to still be upset, and not to get angry. He'd allow Ryan the opportunity to blow off some steam and be a little rude and disrespectfully. To a point.
"Ryan," Sandy started to explain, "It'll be ok. We'll get through this. I know you're scared....."
"I'm not scared." Ryan snapped.
"You aren't?" Sandy said, "Hell, I am. So is Kirsten and so is Seth. We're all scared. But we've got to believe it will be ok."
But Ryan only shrugged his shoulders again, and sat on the edge of his bed. He was too tired to care at that point. He had a really restless night of sleep. He thought about leaving, just taking off, but he heard Sandy come in during the night, a number of times. He just pretended to be asleep.
When Ryan only looked down at his coffee, Sandy decided to continue the talk, even though he knew it would probably be a one sided conversation.
"Look, this is what we know so far. Kirsten talked to Jimmy. He and Julie are being interviewed together on Wednesday, along with Marissa. Our letter was in the mail yesterday. We don't get the luxury of knowing when, exactly, Mrs. Dawson is coming. Our's will be more of a surprise visit. We're guessing it will be towards the end of the week. Dr. Colefield has promised her report sometime the beginning of the week. She will be sending a copy to my office as well. After Mrs. Dawson has interviewed everyone and reviewed all the pertinent information, she will render her report."
"How long?" Ryan asked. He couldn't get the rest of the words out.
"How long?" Sandy asked, not sure what Ryan meant.
"Do I have. Here." Ryan stuttered.
"I'm not sure how long it will take for Mrs. Dawson to render her report," Sandy told him, not really answering Ryan's specific question, "It could be a few days or a few weeks. In the meantime, we will continue with the adoption. That way, when the investigation is over, we can finalize it."
Ryan continued to look at his coffee as he asked Sandy,
"And if we lose? What happens to me then? Juvie?"
"Ryan..." Sandy started to say, softly.
But Ryan stopped him. He wasn't in the mood for the "we gotta believe speech" again.
"Please, Sandy," Ryan said, finally looking up at him, "What happens if we lose?"
"There isn't much of a chance that you would go back to juvie," Sandy explained, "It would probably be more like a group home, or maybe another foster family. But you are almost seventeen, and then eighteen a year later. At eighteen, you are no longer part of the foster care system."
"Then what happens to me?" Ryan asked, not sure where Sandy was going with that.
But Sandy told him,
"Then you come back here."
"Why?" Ryan asked. Why, if he was no longer part of the foster care system, why would he have to go back to the Cohen's? Why would they want him to come back when he was eighteen?
"Because this is where you belong." Sandy told him. "No one can stop you once you turn eighteen. But remember, that's only if we lose, and I have no plans on losing you. Not now, not ever."
"I just wish I could believe that." Ryan muttered. He really wasn't talking to Sandy, he was just talking out loud.
"Then believe it," Sandy told him before changing the subject, "Look, I've got to get down to the Lighthouse, do some work. Why don't you get dressed and come with me. Try to get your mind off some of this for a while."
Not likely, Ryan thought, but just said,
"I'd rather not. I think I just want to stay here. Do some homework. Maybe I'll come down later."
He was lying, and he knew Sandy knew it, too. He wasn't going to do homework, and he wasn't going to go down to the Lighthouse later.
"But can you do me a favor?" Ryan asked.
"Anything, kiddo." Sandy promised.
"Tell Seth to give me some space." He answered, "I can't. I'm not. He's. I'm just not in the mood, ok?"
Sandy actually laughed a little. Ryan was trying to be subtle. They both knew what Ryan was trying to politely say.
"Yeah. I'll talk to him," Sandy said, "Better yet, I'll have him come with me. It should be interesting, trying to get him interested in working. But I can't make any promises about Kirsten. I doubt no matter what either one of us say, she will be making an appearance or two here. You know, get all motherly."
But Ryan just mumbled,
"Thanks." And laid back down on the bed, staring up at his ceiling again.
"Call me if you need anything. I'll be home later. Ok?" Sandy said as he opened the door to leave, hoping for some kind of a response from Ryan. But Ryan didn't have anything else to say.
Ryan spent most of the day alone lying in bed. He tried to get some sleep, but he couldn't. Partly because he couldn't sleep and partly because Kirsten came in to check on him a few times, and bring him something to eat. She noticed that he hadn't touched his breakfast when she brought him his lunch, and when she came back later, she noticed he didn't touch that either. She kept trying to get him to eat, but he just kept saying his wasn't hungry, but he promised to eat later. It was close to 3:00 o'clock when she went back into the pool house, and noticed Ryan still hadn't touched anything.
Ryan sat up when he saw Kirsten come into the pool house, again. He had wished that he asked Sandy to bring Kirsten to the Lighthouse, instead of Seth. At least with Seth, Ryan could get rid of him with a hard stare or a nasty glare. He couldn't do that with Kirsten.
"Ryan," she started the second she walked in, "You need to eat something."
"I told you Kirsten, I'm not hungry." He didn't mean to snap, but he wanted her to leave him alone.
"Ok, fine. I'm not going to argue with you." Kirsten told him, "Obviously, you're not feeling well. It'll only take me a minute to call the doctor. I'll be right back."
She pretended to head back out the door, knowing Ryan would stop her, and he did,
"Doctor, what doctor? Kirsten, I don't need a doctor. I'm not sick. I'm just not hungry."
"Ryan," she said as she turned back to him, "When was the last time you ate something?"
Ryan just looked away, not wanting to answer that question.
"Exactly my point." Kirsten said, "Seth said you didn't eat lunch yesterday. You weren't home for dinner last night. I threw away your breakfast from this morning, and today's lunch is still sitting there. Which means it's been well over twenty-four hours since you've had anything to eat. Obviously you're not feeling well, in which case I will go call the pediatrician and be right back."
"Pediatrician? Kirsten, I think I'm a little old for a pediatrician. Besides, it's Sunday. No doctors' offices are open. Pediatrician or otherwise." Ryan said.
You're under the age of eighteen so you're not too old for a pediatrician," Kirsten told him, "And this is Newport, Ryan, your pediatrician lives right down the road. His name is Peter Jackson, and he could be here in as little as ten minutes."
"Great," Ryan muttered, "Dr. Pete from down the street. Oh, gee, ain't that sweet." His little Dr. Seuss rhyme would almost be funny, if Ryan wasn't getting really annoyed that Kirsten wouldn't just leave him alone.
"Well, Dr. Pete will come up the street, if you don't eat." Kirsten shot back her own little Dr. Seuss, before continuing, "So, what's it going to be? Your sandwich or a visit from Dr. Pete?"
They both stared at each other for a minute before Ryan finally gave in, knowing he wasn't going to win anyway.
"Fine," he told her, "I'll eat the damn sandwich."
"Ryan, don't say damn." Kirsten told him.
"You're going to watch me eat?" Ryan asked her when he noticed she wasn't leaving. She was sitting in the chair next to the door.
"Yes. As a matter of fact, I am." Kirsten said, "That way I know you've actually eaten, and your sandwich doesn't mysteriously end up in the trash."
"Ah, thanks,' Ryan said as he picked up the sandwich, "Nothing like a little trust to make me feel better."
Even though Ryan was being sarcastic, Kirsten just laughed and told him,
"Oh, I trust you, sweetie, but I also know you. I know you don't like to eat when you're upset. So unless I sit here and watch you eat, I know you won't. And if you don't eat, you'll get sick, and if you get sick then Dr. Pete will have to come up the street, and I know you don't want that. So eat. Now."
Ryan had nothing else to say. He just quietly ate the sandwich.
"Satisfied." He said when he was done.
"You've made my day." Kirsten told him, "However, you are still expected to join your family for dinner. But for now, I'll go. Why don't you join me? I'm going over some plans for the model home show. You know I love your thoughts and opinions."
"Maybe later. I'm tired.' Ryan told her. He didn't mean to disappoint her, but he wasn't in the mood.
"Well, if you're still tired tomorrow, I think I will take you to see the doctor. Maybe he could give you a shot or something. Oh, and Ryan," Kirsten said as she walked out the door, "Dr. Pete doesn't give his shots in the arm."
Ryan couldn't help but smile after she left. He knew Kirsten was trying to make him feel better. He wondered if she ever knew how motherly she could be. She was nothing like Dawn. Dawn never knew when or if Ryan ate. She also never brought him to the doctor when he was sick. The only time Ryan saw a doctor was after he had been beaten, severely beaten. Damn, he thought, I'm really going to miss Kirsten.
Sandy and Seth came home a little while later. Sandy knew from his numerous phone calls with Kirsten that Ryan was still sulking in the pool house. He wasn't sure how much more they could say or do for Ryan. He hadn't run away, which was good, but the depth of his depression was scary. Sandy knew that first thing in the morning he had to call Dr. Colefield.
At dinnertime, Kirsten sent Seth out to get Ryan. She knew Seth was also really upset about everything, and scared to death that he was going to lose Ryan as a brother. She also knew that if anyone could talk to Ryan, it would be Seth.
"Hey, man," Seth said, as he walked into the pool house without knocking, "Mom said to tell you dinner was ready."
Seth was shocked to see Ryan still wearing the sweatpants and tee shirt he usually wore to bed. He had never known Ryan not to be up and dressed and ready to go every morning.
"Dude, I can't believe you never even got dressed today."
"Why?" Ryan asked, "I wasn't going any where. Not yet, anyway."
"Damn, Ry," Seth shouted, "No wonder Mom and Dad are so freaked out. Stop it. Just stop it. Ok?" He didn't mean to yell at Ryan, but he was scared, and Ryan was making everything worse.
"Stop what?" Ryan snapped at him, "What are you talking about now? And I don't need any reminders about how freaked out everyone is. I know that already."
"I'm just saying, Ryan," Seth tried to explain, "That we're all used to your the glass is half empty approach to life, but damn, not only did you just empty the glass, but you've smashed it to the floor and you're walking on the broken pieces."
"WHAT?" Ryan asked. Sometimes understanding what Seth was talking about was impossible.
"Stop expecting the worst to happen." Seth said, "You don't know for sure that you're leaving, ok? And you wonder why they didn't tell you about this sooner. Look at you, they knew this is what you would do. Moping around the pool house all day, not eating, not talking to anyone. You've got to stop, man. You don't know for sure that you're leaving."
"And you don't know for sure that I'm staying." Ryan shot back.
"Maybe not," Seth admitted, "But I do know Dad. And I know he'll do everything in his power to make sure everything works out. Come on, get dressed. I'll tell Mom you'll be right there."
"Just tell her I'm not hungry." Ryan told him.
"Yeah, ah, no." Seth said, "Mom figured you'd say that so she told me to tell you she meant what she said before. Something about Dr. Jackson. So, if I were you, I'd get dressed and come eat."
Dinner was about as quiet as any Cohen dinner could possibly be. Ryan didn't feel like talking or listening, or eating for that matter. But he ate, and grunted one-word answers to any questions aimed in his direction. Luckily, Kirsten, Sandy and Seth really didn't push Ryan to talk more, for once. After dinner, Ryan retreated back to the pool house for the rest of the night. Again, Kirsten and Sandy, as well as Seth, didn't bother him. They actually gave him his space to think, for once.
When Ryan didn't join them for breakfast, Sandy decided to bring his breakfast to him, so they could talk, again. Damn, he thought, as he looked into the pool house and saw Ryan lying there, just staring at the ceiling, it's just like with Oliver. He's shutting us out, again. He thought we let him down back then and he thinks we let him down again now. Only this time, Sandy thought, this time, Ryan was right. We did let him down. We let Julie Cooper get to him first.
"Hey, kid," he said as he walked into the pool house, "I brought you some coffee and some breakfast. Thought you might be hungry."
But Ryan didn't answer. He only sat up and shrugged.
"You ok?" Sandy asked as he handed Ryan his coffee.
Ryan only looked at him and snidely said,
"Oh, yeah, wonderful."
Sandy told himself that it was ok for Ryan to still be upset, and not to get angry. He'd allow Ryan the opportunity to blow off some steam and be a little rude and disrespectfully. To a point.
"Ryan," Sandy started to explain, "It'll be ok. We'll get through this. I know you're scared....."
"I'm not scared." Ryan snapped.
"You aren't?" Sandy said, "Hell, I am. So is Kirsten and so is Seth. We're all scared. But we've got to believe it will be ok."
But Ryan only shrugged his shoulders again, and sat on the edge of his bed. He was too tired to care at that point. He had a really restless night of sleep. He thought about leaving, just taking off, but he heard Sandy come in during the night, a number of times. He just pretended to be asleep.
When Ryan only looked down at his coffee, Sandy decided to continue the talk, even though he knew it would probably be a one sided conversation.
"Look, this is what we know so far. Kirsten talked to Jimmy. He and Julie are being interviewed together on Wednesday, along with Marissa. Our letter was in the mail yesterday. We don't get the luxury of knowing when, exactly, Mrs. Dawson is coming. Our's will be more of a surprise visit. We're guessing it will be towards the end of the week. Dr. Colefield has promised her report sometime the beginning of the week. She will be sending a copy to my office as well. After Mrs. Dawson has interviewed everyone and reviewed all the pertinent information, she will render her report."
"How long?" Ryan asked. He couldn't get the rest of the words out.
"How long?" Sandy asked, not sure what Ryan meant.
"Do I have. Here." Ryan stuttered.
"I'm not sure how long it will take for Mrs. Dawson to render her report," Sandy told him, not really answering Ryan's specific question, "It could be a few days or a few weeks. In the meantime, we will continue with the adoption. That way, when the investigation is over, we can finalize it."
Ryan continued to look at his coffee as he asked Sandy,
"And if we lose? What happens to me then? Juvie?"
"Ryan..." Sandy started to say, softly.
But Ryan stopped him. He wasn't in the mood for the "we gotta believe speech" again.
"Please, Sandy," Ryan said, finally looking up at him, "What happens if we lose?"
"There isn't much of a chance that you would go back to juvie," Sandy explained, "It would probably be more like a group home, or maybe another foster family. But you are almost seventeen, and then eighteen a year later. At eighteen, you are no longer part of the foster care system."
"Then what happens to me?" Ryan asked, not sure where Sandy was going with that.
But Sandy told him,
"Then you come back here."
"Why?" Ryan asked. Why, if he was no longer part of the foster care system, why would he have to go back to the Cohen's? Why would they want him to come back when he was eighteen?
"Because this is where you belong." Sandy told him. "No one can stop you once you turn eighteen. But remember, that's only if we lose, and I have no plans on losing you. Not now, not ever."
"I just wish I could believe that." Ryan muttered. He really wasn't talking to Sandy, he was just talking out loud.
"Then believe it," Sandy told him before changing the subject, "Look, I've got to get down to the Lighthouse, do some work. Why don't you get dressed and come with me. Try to get your mind off some of this for a while."
Not likely, Ryan thought, but just said,
"I'd rather not. I think I just want to stay here. Do some homework. Maybe I'll come down later."
He was lying, and he knew Sandy knew it, too. He wasn't going to do homework, and he wasn't going to go down to the Lighthouse later.
"But can you do me a favor?" Ryan asked.
"Anything, kiddo." Sandy promised.
"Tell Seth to give me some space." He answered, "I can't. I'm not. He's. I'm just not in the mood, ok?"
Sandy actually laughed a little. Ryan was trying to be subtle. They both knew what Ryan was trying to politely say.
"Yeah. I'll talk to him," Sandy said, "Better yet, I'll have him come with me. It should be interesting, trying to get him interested in working. But I can't make any promises about Kirsten. I doubt no matter what either one of us say, she will be making an appearance or two here. You know, get all motherly."
But Ryan just mumbled,
"Thanks." And laid back down on the bed, staring up at his ceiling again.
"Call me if you need anything. I'll be home later. Ok?" Sandy said as he opened the door to leave, hoping for some kind of a response from Ryan. But Ryan didn't have anything else to say.
Ryan spent most of the day alone lying in bed. He tried to get some sleep, but he couldn't. Partly because he couldn't sleep and partly because Kirsten came in to check on him a few times, and bring him something to eat. She noticed that he hadn't touched his breakfast when she brought him his lunch, and when she came back later, she noticed he didn't touch that either. She kept trying to get him to eat, but he just kept saying his wasn't hungry, but he promised to eat later. It was close to 3:00 o'clock when she went back into the pool house, and noticed Ryan still hadn't touched anything.
Ryan sat up when he saw Kirsten come into the pool house, again. He had wished that he asked Sandy to bring Kirsten to the Lighthouse, instead of Seth. At least with Seth, Ryan could get rid of him with a hard stare or a nasty glare. He couldn't do that with Kirsten.
"Ryan," she started the second she walked in, "You need to eat something."
"I told you Kirsten, I'm not hungry." He didn't mean to snap, but he wanted her to leave him alone.
"Ok, fine. I'm not going to argue with you." Kirsten told him, "Obviously, you're not feeling well. It'll only take me a minute to call the doctor. I'll be right back."
She pretended to head back out the door, knowing Ryan would stop her, and he did,
"Doctor, what doctor? Kirsten, I don't need a doctor. I'm not sick. I'm just not hungry."
"Ryan," she said as she turned back to him, "When was the last time you ate something?"
Ryan just looked away, not wanting to answer that question.
"Exactly my point." Kirsten said, "Seth said you didn't eat lunch yesterday. You weren't home for dinner last night. I threw away your breakfast from this morning, and today's lunch is still sitting there. Which means it's been well over twenty-four hours since you've had anything to eat. Obviously you're not feeling well, in which case I will go call the pediatrician and be right back."
"Pediatrician? Kirsten, I think I'm a little old for a pediatrician. Besides, it's Sunday. No doctors' offices are open. Pediatrician or otherwise." Ryan said.
You're under the age of eighteen so you're not too old for a pediatrician," Kirsten told him, "And this is Newport, Ryan, your pediatrician lives right down the road. His name is Peter Jackson, and he could be here in as little as ten minutes."
"Great," Ryan muttered, "Dr. Pete from down the street. Oh, gee, ain't that sweet." His little Dr. Seuss rhyme would almost be funny, if Ryan wasn't getting really annoyed that Kirsten wouldn't just leave him alone.
"Well, Dr. Pete will come up the street, if you don't eat." Kirsten shot back her own little Dr. Seuss, before continuing, "So, what's it going to be? Your sandwich or a visit from Dr. Pete?"
They both stared at each other for a minute before Ryan finally gave in, knowing he wasn't going to win anyway.
"Fine," he told her, "I'll eat the damn sandwich."
"Ryan, don't say damn." Kirsten told him.
"You're going to watch me eat?" Ryan asked her when he noticed she wasn't leaving. She was sitting in the chair next to the door.
"Yes. As a matter of fact, I am." Kirsten said, "That way I know you've actually eaten, and your sandwich doesn't mysteriously end up in the trash."
"Ah, thanks,' Ryan said as he picked up the sandwich, "Nothing like a little trust to make me feel better."
Even though Ryan was being sarcastic, Kirsten just laughed and told him,
"Oh, I trust you, sweetie, but I also know you. I know you don't like to eat when you're upset. So unless I sit here and watch you eat, I know you won't. And if you don't eat, you'll get sick, and if you get sick then Dr. Pete will have to come up the street, and I know you don't want that. So eat. Now."
Ryan had nothing else to say. He just quietly ate the sandwich.
"Satisfied." He said when he was done.
"You've made my day." Kirsten told him, "However, you are still expected to join your family for dinner. But for now, I'll go. Why don't you join me? I'm going over some plans for the model home show. You know I love your thoughts and opinions."
"Maybe later. I'm tired.' Ryan told her. He didn't mean to disappoint her, but he wasn't in the mood.
"Well, if you're still tired tomorrow, I think I will take you to see the doctor. Maybe he could give you a shot or something. Oh, and Ryan," Kirsten said as she walked out the door, "Dr. Pete doesn't give his shots in the arm."
Ryan couldn't help but smile after she left. He knew Kirsten was trying to make him feel better. He wondered if she ever knew how motherly she could be. She was nothing like Dawn. Dawn never knew when or if Ryan ate. She also never brought him to the doctor when he was sick. The only time Ryan saw a doctor was after he had been beaten, severely beaten. Damn, he thought, I'm really going to miss Kirsten.
Sandy and Seth came home a little while later. Sandy knew from his numerous phone calls with Kirsten that Ryan was still sulking in the pool house. He wasn't sure how much more they could say or do for Ryan. He hadn't run away, which was good, but the depth of his depression was scary. Sandy knew that first thing in the morning he had to call Dr. Colefield.
At dinnertime, Kirsten sent Seth out to get Ryan. She knew Seth was also really upset about everything, and scared to death that he was going to lose Ryan as a brother. She also knew that if anyone could talk to Ryan, it would be Seth.
"Hey, man," Seth said, as he walked into the pool house without knocking, "Mom said to tell you dinner was ready."
Seth was shocked to see Ryan still wearing the sweatpants and tee shirt he usually wore to bed. He had never known Ryan not to be up and dressed and ready to go every morning.
"Dude, I can't believe you never even got dressed today."
"Why?" Ryan asked, "I wasn't going any where. Not yet, anyway."
"Damn, Ry," Seth shouted, "No wonder Mom and Dad are so freaked out. Stop it. Just stop it. Ok?" He didn't mean to yell at Ryan, but he was scared, and Ryan was making everything worse.
"Stop what?" Ryan snapped at him, "What are you talking about now? And I don't need any reminders about how freaked out everyone is. I know that already."
"I'm just saying, Ryan," Seth tried to explain, "That we're all used to your the glass is half empty approach to life, but damn, not only did you just empty the glass, but you've smashed it to the floor and you're walking on the broken pieces."
"WHAT?" Ryan asked. Sometimes understanding what Seth was talking about was impossible.
"Stop expecting the worst to happen." Seth said, "You don't know for sure that you're leaving, ok? And you wonder why they didn't tell you about this sooner. Look at you, they knew this is what you would do. Moping around the pool house all day, not eating, not talking to anyone. You've got to stop, man. You don't know for sure that you're leaving."
"And you don't know for sure that I'm staying." Ryan shot back.
"Maybe not," Seth admitted, "But I do know Dad. And I know he'll do everything in his power to make sure everything works out. Come on, get dressed. I'll tell Mom you'll be right there."
"Just tell her I'm not hungry." Ryan told him.
"Yeah, ah, no." Seth said, "Mom figured you'd say that so she told me to tell you she meant what she said before. Something about Dr. Jackson. So, if I were you, I'd get dressed and come eat."
Dinner was about as quiet as any Cohen dinner could possibly be. Ryan didn't feel like talking or listening, or eating for that matter. But he ate, and grunted one-word answers to any questions aimed in his direction. Luckily, Kirsten, Sandy and Seth really didn't push Ryan to talk more, for once. After dinner, Ryan retreated back to the pool house for the rest of the night. Again, Kirsten and Sandy, as well as Seth, didn't bother him. They actually gave him his space to think, for once.