Chapter 30 Unmasked
It was in a daze and with some relief that Valdis let the Great Hall doors close silently behind him.
He couldn't help but feel an enormous amount of respect for the two demons he had just left and it had almost nothing to do with their exulted positions in the Underworld. The men in that room, Valdis decided, were no less ruthless or cruel than his own father, but, contrary to him, they were not unnecessarily so. Both Cole and Xander were complicated men. They were clever and sly, but they were also brave and fair. They lived by a certain code that was painfully hard to live by, yet they chose to live by it because they considered it right. Strange words to describe one of the Underworld's most powerful demons and the Source himself. . . Valdis couldn't help but admire them.
And it was because of this deep respect and admiration that he felt towards them, that he felt so uncomfortable when he was with them.
He had betrayed them.
He had schemed high treason against his ruler, but more importantly, he had betrayed the trust and plotted the downfall of a man for whose praise and kind words, he would willingly die for. To top it all off, this man happened to be the father of the woman he loved.
Valdis felt the pain slice right though him. With determined steps he found himself heading for his favourite bar.
He had finally stopped lying to himself; faced his greatest fear. There was no escaping the fact that what he felt for Talia, was love.
Lust could not explain the tenderness he had felt for her when he had watched her sitting alone in the garden one night under the stars. She had sat on the wet grass with her father's photo in her lap for hours.
.
.
.
He had waited outside in the dark for some sign of her and was about to give up and go back to the Underworld, when he finally saw her walk out to the garden.
It had been one of those nights when Talia found herself unable to go to sleep. It was late November; a couple of days after Talia's run in with Deimos and Nemos. Her meeting with them had obviously affected her. There were entirely too many such nights previously, Valdis thought. Talia hardly ever got a full night's sleep. The fact that he had now contributed to her insomnia, pained him to no end.
She was wearing a pair of black tracksuit bottoms and a black t-shirt as minimal protection from the biting cold. Her hair was swept in a high ponytail and, as Valdis watched her begin her warm up routine under the moonlit sky, he thought her the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.
Her moves were graceful, but even under the moonlight Valdis could see just how lethal they were. She practised punches and kicks with intense concentration against her invisible attackers. She was a mixture of harsh lines and soft curves; a lone figure made up of shadows.
~ I could watch her forever~
The thought had come unbidden in his mind, but it was none the less true.
When Talia finally stopped her relentless training she was slightly out of breath and a thin layer of sweat covered her lithe body. Silently she put on an old grey jumper she had brought with her along with an old blanket. She spread the blanket on the wet grass and sat cross-legged on it.
She looked up in the night sky for a while. The moon weaved in and out of the clouds. Occasionally a star blinked merrily down on her.
Valdis had watched her fumble in the pockets of her tracksuit bottoms and bring out a folded piece of paper; a picture of her father. She had stared it for hours.
Sometimes she smiled at the picture, obviously lost in a happy memory. Sometimes a look of utter sadness would enter her eyes. Pain. Anger. Tenderness. Valdis watched the face of the Princess of the Underworld, infamous for her cold glare that could diminish men to nothing with a single glance, switch from emotion to emotion. Her strangely expressive eyes reflecting the slightest thing she felt. Yet no matter what emotion she was feeling for the man in the picture at any moment, there was also a constant mixture of love and pain which was evident in Talia's slouched shoulders and soft eyes.
And that's when he knew. An overwhelming need to protect the petite, feisty girl before him flooded his every sense. He of all people knew just how capable she was to protect herself, but the insane urge to just appear in front of her, place his arms around her and chase that haunted look away from her eyes forever, was almost too hard to resist. He stopped himself just in time.
He nearly gave up the Plan then. For her. Because he hated nothing else than to see her in pain.
But then he remembered that what he was doing he was doing for her sake. So they could be together. And he stopped himself.
To shimmer away was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but to watch her in her suffering would have been even harder.
***************
Valdis walked into the dark bar and steadily made his way to the bar. He sat on the stool and made eye contact. The barman scurried over.
"The usual, Jimmy," he said, and the barman went in search of the requested bottle of amber liquid. The bottle, along with a dirty glass, was placed in front of Valdis.
Valdis poured his own drink with a hint of pleasure on his otherwise cold features. There was something immensely satisfying to go to a place where they knew your favourite drink.
He took a long sip and felt the familiar burning sensation reach the pit of his stomach. He nursed the fiery liquid and couldn't help but sigh as he stared into its amber depths.
"You've got it bad, haven't you boy?"
Valdis stood up, quick as lightning, at the sound of the gruff voice behind him. His right hand automatically reached for the athame that was strapped on his wrist. His stance relaxed slightly at the sight of Xander's calm eyes and impassive face. But only slightly.
"Excuse me?" he said as he lowered himself back onto his seat. Xander took the stool next to him and promptly sat down.
The barman hurried towards him to take his order. It wasn't every day that the Source's right hand man came to his bar!
"I'll have what he's having," he said when asked.
The two demons stayed silent until the barman came back with Xander's drink. Valdis waited for Xander to speak, but Xander seemed to stare at something only he could see. Valdis gave up after a while.
"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Xander suddenly asked as he raised the glass to his lips and drew a long sip from his drink.
Valdis nearly choked on his.
He was about to deny it when he was met with Xander's steely gaze.
"Don't lie to me boy."
There was silence between them as the two demons stared at each other. Valdis was the first to lower his eyes.
"Is it that obvious?"
"No. But I've noticed."
Valdis wasn't quite sure what to make of this, so he simply stared at the older demon waiting to see what came next.
"Demons aren't supposed to fall in love," he finally said.
"I know," Valdis said miserably.
"But when they do, they bring a piece of hell with them to those they love."
Valdis stayed silent at that.
"Talia is different. She's unique, and not only because of her powers. She's stubborn and proud, brave, brutally honest, witty. . . the list goes on for miles. She's hardly perfect, but it's those imperfections of hers that make her all the more special. I should know. I helped raise her. Even as a little girl she had the extraordinary ability to wrap everyone around her little finger at will. Watching her day after day. . . of course you fell in love with her."
Valdis emptied his glass in one large gulp. He promptly refilled it from the bottle the barman had left behind. Xander continued.
"Some would say that you'll be repeating history if you act on it. But make no mistake, she is not her mother and you are not Belthazaur."
An uneasy silence fell upon them as Xander let his words sink in and Valdis tried to work out what the older demon had meant. Was he encouraging or warning him off Talia?
"I've been there, you know," said Xander looking into his glass with unwarranted attention.
Valdis' eyebrow shot up in obvious surprise. He couldn't possibly mean. . .
"I fell in love."
Valdis didn't even dare to breathe, hoping with all that he was, that Xander would go on.
"She was a princess too. A mortal. Diana. You might have heard of her. Her people called her the Queen of Hearts."
Valdis couldn't help a gasp from escaping his lips.
"She had helped too many people around the world. She had become an image of compassion, mercy and salvation. She brought hope everywhere she went, to everyone she met. The Underworld could no more tolerate her existence and one day the Old Source called me to him and ordered me to kill her."
"I was actually proud that he had chosen me for such as important mission," he said with a mirthless chuckle.
He poured himself another drink from the whiskey bottle and emptied his glass with a single gulp. He grimaced at the taste.
"She was hard to get close to, but I managed it. I pretended to be one of her bodyguards and, displaying extraordinarily skills of manipulation, I managed to be assigned as head of her detail in a mere three months. From then on, I thought that all I had to do was wait until she was alone to do the job I had come to do.
"But she was a princess, and she was hardly ever alone. To top that of, the whole thing had to be handled as discreetly as possible. Her death was bound to be investigated with unparalleled scrutiny and the last thing the Underworld wanted, was for questions to be raised.
"And so, for months, all I could do was watch and wait. And somewhere along the line I fell in love with her. She was unlike anyone I'd ever met. She cared, really cared, about everyone. She was never stuck up, like you would expect royalty to be. I was watching her play barefoot with her sons on the grass one afternoon when I finally stopped fooling myself and admitted my feelings for her.
"It was the scariest thing in the world. I had lived three hundred years on this earth, and I'd never felt anything like it. She didn't know of course. She continued to joke and tease me like she had always done. It sounds corny, but I loved to hear her laugh.
"She had been through so much in her short life. She deserved a little happiness. Happiness that I was unable to give her. And so I continued to watch her. Not in order to complete my mission anymore, but in order to simply be close to her. I watched her fall in love with another man. He was a good man. Better than I could ever have been for her. I see that now.
"The Source had sent demons from time to time to check up on my mission. He wasn't pleased with me because it was taking so long, and one day the Source's emissary delivered the ultimatum. It was either her or me.
"She had planned to go away with this other man. Jealousy blinded me. I tampered with the car I knew they would be driving. I regretted it almost instantly, but it was too late by then. They had started on their journey.
"She died in Paris, the City of Light. She died in the place she loved, with the man she loved. Fitting I guess, but it cost me."
Xander poured another glass of whiskey for himself and refilled Valdis'. Silently they toasted the dead princess. Both demons finished their drink in one large gulp.
Xander immediately refilled their glasses, but instead of drinking the harsh alcohol he simply stared at his glass. Instead of the golden liquid he saw a pair of warm brown eyes framed by the famous straw-coloured hair.
"I killed the Source's messenger. And then I went in search for the Source himself. But the Charmed Ones had beaten me to it. I was denied my revenge.
"The Underworld was thrown into turmoil and I didn't hang around to see any of it. I left. I walked the earth but was no longer part of it; a mere ghost of the ambitious and powerful demon I once was. I no longer cared for witches, demons and magic. I was trying desperately to come to terms with what I had done. The guilt, the self hate. . . I wandered endlessly, no longer caring what became of me.
"Until I met Belthazaur.
"We met across a crowded bar. I remember feeling magic in the room and searching for its source. Our eyes met and we recognised each other. We were both members of the Brotherhood. We knew each other by sight and by reputation.
"He signalled that he wanted us to meet outside, so I followed him. When we were alone he suddenly attacked me. He thought I had been sent to kill him. The Underworld may have been a mess, but there were still demons who felt that he had betrayed them, who were out for his blood and who hadn't bought the story of him being vanquished after having returned from the Wasteland.
"I had been away from the Underworld for too long, firstly because of my assignment and then because of my self-imposed exile. I hadn't heard of Belthazaur's betrayal or even of his brief time as the Source with one of the Charmed Ones by his side. I too had turned my back on the demonic world and therefore occasionally had demons after me. I defended myself.
"We fought for a long time. Hand to hand, sword fighting. . . we were both battered and bruised when Belthazaur finally gained the upper hand. I fully expected to die then and I welcomed my fate. I think it was this acceptance of defeat however, that stopped him. He saw something of what he felt, in me.
"In him I found a willing student, a protégé. I was older and I still had lessons I had gained through experience, to teach him. I found myself a new mission. I helped him climb back to the throne of the Underworld. It was his rightful place, his destiny. I could see that. We've both carried our separate burdens for sixteen long years."
"You are probably wondering why I've told you all this," said Xander looking Valdis in the eye for the first time after he had started his brief, yet painful trip to the past.
"You remind me of a younger me; a younger Belthazaur. Had you fallen in love with anyone else but Talia I would have to told you to go for it. To make sure that you didn't miss the chance we did.
"As it is, if you hurt her, I will kill you," he said dispassionately before downing his last drink for the evening.
"But that will be nothing, compared to what the Source will do to you."
And with that, Xander stood up from the stool he had been sitting on and steadily made his way out of the bar. Valdis stared after him for a while before he too made his way carefully out of the bar.
*************
At a table in a dark corner, near enough to the place at the bar the two demons had previously occupied, sat a cloaked and hooded figure.
Talia's eyes were wide with shock. She downed her drink and rushed out of the bar as quickly as she could, without attracting any undue attention. When she finally reached a place where she knew she couldn't be seen, she flamed back to her room in Haliwell Manor.
It was in a daze and with some relief that Valdis let the Great Hall doors close silently behind him.
He couldn't help but feel an enormous amount of respect for the two demons he had just left and it had almost nothing to do with their exulted positions in the Underworld. The men in that room, Valdis decided, were no less ruthless or cruel than his own father, but, contrary to him, they were not unnecessarily so. Both Cole and Xander were complicated men. They were clever and sly, but they were also brave and fair. They lived by a certain code that was painfully hard to live by, yet they chose to live by it because they considered it right. Strange words to describe one of the Underworld's most powerful demons and the Source himself. . . Valdis couldn't help but admire them.
And it was because of this deep respect and admiration that he felt towards them, that he felt so uncomfortable when he was with them.
He had betrayed them.
He had schemed high treason against his ruler, but more importantly, he had betrayed the trust and plotted the downfall of a man for whose praise and kind words, he would willingly die for. To top it all off, this man happened to be the father of the woman he loved.
Valdis felt the pain slice right though him. With determined steps he found himself heading for his favourite bar.
He had finally stopped lying to himself; faced his greatest fear. There was no escaping the fact that what he felt for Talia, was love.
Lust could not explain the tenderness he had felt for her when he had watched her sitting alone in the garden one night under the stars. She had sat on the wet grass with her father's photo in her lap for hours.
.
.
.
He had waited outside in the dark for some sign of her and was about to give up and go back to the Underworld, when he finally saw her walk out to the garden.
It had been one of those nights when Talia found herself unable to go to sleep. It was late November; a couple of days after Talia's run in with Deimos and Nemos. Her meeting with them had obviously affected her. There were entirely too many such nights previously, Valdis thought. Talia hardly ever got a full night's sleep. The fact that he had now contributed to her insomnia, pained him to no end.
She was wearing a pair of black tracksuit bottoms and a black t-shirt as minimal protection from the biting cold. Her hair was swept in a high ponytail and, as Valdis watched her begin her warm up routine under the moonlit sky, he thought her the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.
Her moves were graceful, but even under the moonlight Valdis could see just how lethal they were. She practised punches and kicks with intense concentration against her invisible attackers. She was a mixture of harsh lines and soft curves; a lone figure made up of shadows.
~ I could watch her forever~
The thought had come unbidden in his mind, but it was none the less true.
When Talia finally stopped her relentless training she was slightly out of breath and a thin layer of sweat covered her lithe body. Silently she put on an old grey jumper she had brought with her along with an old blanket. She spread the blanket on the wet grass and sat cross-legged on it.
She looked up in the night sky for a while. The moon weaved in and out of the clouds. Occasionally a star blinked merrily down on her.
Valdis had watched her fumble in the pockets of her tracksuit bottoms and bring out a folded piece of paper; a picture of her father. She had stared it for hours.
Sometimes she smiled at the picture, obviously lost in a happy memory. Sometimes a look of utter sadness would enter her eyes. Pain. Anger. Tenderness. Valdis watched the face of the Princess of the Underworld, infamous for her cold glare that could diminish men to nothing with a single glance, switch from emotion to emotion. Her strangely expressive eyes reflecting the slightest thing she felt. Yet no matter what emotion she was feeling for the man in the picture at any moment, there was also a constant mixture of love and pain which was evident in Talia's slouched shoulders and soft eyes.
And that's when he knew. An overwhelming need to protect the petite, feisty girl before him flooded his every sense. He of all people knew just how capable she was to protect herself, but the insane urge to just appear in front of her, place his arms around her and chase that haunted look away from her eyes forever, was almost too hard to resist. He stopped himself just in time.
He nearly gave up the Plan then. For her. Because he hated nothing else than to see her in pain.
But then he remembered that what he was doing he was doing for her sake. So they could be together. And he stopped himself.
To shimmer away was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do, but to watch her in her suffering would have been even harder.
***************
Valdis walked into the dark bar and steadily made his way to the bar. He sat on the stool and made eye contact. The barman scurried over.
"The usual, Jimmy," he said, and the barman went in search of the requested bottle of amber liquid. The bottle, along with a dirty glass, was placed in front of Valdis.
Valdis poured his own drink with a hint of pleasure on his otherwise cold features. There was something immensely satisfying to go to a place where they knew your favourite drink.
He took a long sip and felt the familiar burning sensation reach the pit of his stomach. He nursed the fiery liquid and couldn't help but sigh as he stared into its amber depths.
"You've got it bad, haven't you boy?"
Valdis stood up, quick as lightning, at the sound of the gruff voice behind him. His right hand automatically reached for the athame that was strapped on his wrist. His stance relaxed slightly at the sight of Xander's calm eyes and impassive face. But only slightly.
"Excuse me?" he said as he lowered himself back onto his seat. Xander took the stool next to him and promptly sat down.
The barman hurried towards him to take his order. It wasn't every day that the Source's right hand man came to his bar!
"I'll have what he's having," he said when asked.
The two demons stayed silent until the barman came back with Xander's drink. Valdis waited for Xander to speak, but Xander seemed to stare at something only he could see. Valdis gave up after a while.
"You're in love with her, aren't you?" Xander suddenly asked as he raised the glass to his lips and drew a long sip from his drink.
Valdis nearly choked on his.
He was about to deny it when he was met with Xander's steely gaze.
"Don't lie to me boy."
There was silence between them as the two demons stared at each other. Valdis was the first to lower his eyes.
"Is it that obvious?"
"No. But I've noticed."
Valdis wasn't quite sure what to make of this, so he simply stared at the older demon waiting to see what came next.
"Demons aren't supposed to fall in love," he finally said.
"I know," Valdis said miserably.
"But when they do, they bring a piece of hell with them to those they love."
Valdis stayed silent at that.
"Talia is different. She's unique, and not only because of her powers. She's stubborn and proud, brave, brutally honest, witty. . . the list goes on for miles. She's hardly perfect, but it's those imperfections of hers that make her all the more special. I should know. I helped raise her. Even as a little girl she had the extraordinary ability to wrap everyone around her little finger at will. Watching her day after day. . . of course you fell in love with her."
Valdis emptied his glass in one large gulp. He promptly refilled it from the bottle the barman had left behind. Xander continued.
"Some would say that you'll be repeating history if you act on it. But make no mistake, she is not her mother and you are not Belthazaur."
An uneasy silence fell upon them as Xander let his words sink in and Valdis tried to work out what the older demon had meant. Was he encouraging or warning him off Talia?
"I've been there, you know," said Xander looking into his glass with unwarranted attention.
Valdis' eyebrow shot up in obvious surprise. He couldn't possibly mean. . .
"I fell in love."
Valdis didn't even dare to breathe, hoping with all that he was, that Xander would go on.
"She was a princess too. A mortal. Diana. You might have heard of her. Her people called her the Queen of Hearts."
Valdis couldn't help a gasp from escaping his lips.
"She had helped too many people around the world. She had become an image of compassion, mercy and salvation. She brought hope everywhere she went, to everyone she met. The Underworld could no more tolerate her existence and one day the Old Source called me to him and ordered me to kill her."
"I was actually proud that he had chosen me for such as important mission," he said with a mirthless chuckle.
He poured himself another drink from the whiskey bottle and emptied his glass with a single gulp. He grimaced at the taste.
"She was hard to get close to, but I managed it. I pretended to be one of her bodyguards and, displaying extraordinarily skills of manipulation, I managed to be assigned as head of her detail in a mere three months. From then on, I thought that all I had to do was wait until she was alone to do the job I had come to do.
"But she was a princess, and she was hardly ever alone. To top that of, the whole thing had to be handled as discreetly as possible. Her death was bound to be investigated with unparalleled scrutiny and the last thing the Underworld wanted, was for questions to be raised.
"And so, for months, all I could do was watch and wait. And somewhere along the line I fell in love with her. She was unlike anyone I'd ever met. She cared, really cared, about everyone. She was never stuck up, like you would expect royalty to be. I was watching her play barefoot with her sons on the grass one afternoon when I finally stopped fooling myself and admitted my feelings for her.
"It was the scariest thing in the world. I had lived three hundred years on this earth, and I'd never felt anything like it. She didn't know of course. She continued to joke and tease me like she had always done. It sounds corny, but I loved to hear her laugh.
"She had been through so much in her short life. She deserved a little happiness. Happiness that I was unable to give her. And so I continued to watch her. Not in order to complete my mission anymore, but in order to simply be close to her. I watched her fall in love with another man. He was a good man. Better than I could ever have been for her. I see that now.
"The Source had sent demons from time to time to check up on my mission. He wasn't pleased with me because it was taking so long, and one day the Source's emissary delivered the ultimatum. It was either her or me.
"She had planned to go away with this other man. Jealousy blinded me. I tampered with the car I knew they would be driving. I regretted it almost instantly, but it was too late by then. They had started on their journey.
"She died in Paris, the City of Light. She died in the place she loved, with the man she loved. Fitting I guess, but it cost me."
Xander poured another glass of whiskey for himself and refilled Valdis'. Silently they toasted the dead princess. Both demons finished their drink in one large gulp.
Xander immediately refilled their glasses, but instead of drinking the harsh alcohol he simply stared at his glass. Instead of the golden liquid he saw a pair of warm brown eyes framed by the famous straw-coloured hair.
"I killed the Source's messenger. And then I went in search for the Source himself. But the Charmed Ones had beaten me to it. I was denied my revenge.
"The Underworld was thrown into turmoil and I didn't hang around to see any of it. I left. I walked the earth but was no longer part of it; a mere ghost of the ambitious and powerful demon I once was. I no longer cared for witches, demons and magic. I was trying desperately to come to terms with what I had done. The guilt, the self hate. . . I wandered endlessly, no longer caring what became of me.
"Until I met Belthazaur.
"We met across a crowded bar. I remember feeling magic in the room and searching for its source. Our eyes met and we recognised each other. We were both members of the Brotherhood. We knew each other by sight and by reputation.
"He signalled that he wanted us to meet outside, so I followed him. When we were alone he suddenly attacked me. He thought I had been sent to kill him. The Underworld may have been a mess, but there were still demons who felt that he had betrayed them, who were out for his blood and who hadn't bought the story of him being vanquished after having returned from the Wasteland.
"I had been away from the Underworld for too long, firstly because of my assignment and then because of my self-imposed exile. I hadn't heard of Belthazaur's betrayal or even of his brief time as the Source with one of the Charmed Ones by his side. I too had turned my back on the demonic world and therefore occasionally had demons after me. I defended myself.
"We fought for a long time. Hand to hand, sword fighting. . . we were both battered and bruised when Belthazaur finally gained the upper hand. I fully expected to die then and I welcomed my fate. I think it was this acceptance of defeat however, that stopped him. He saw something of what he felt, in me.
"In him I found a willing student, a protégé. I was older and I still had lessons I had gained through experience, to teach him. I found myself a new mission. I helped him climb back to the throne of the Underworld. It was his rightful place, his destiny. I could see that. We've both carried our separate burdens for sixteen long years."
"You are probably wondering why I've told you all this," said Xander looking Valdis in the eye for the first time after he had started his brief, yet painful trip to the past.
"You remind me of a younger me; a younger Belthazaur. Had you fallen in love with anyone else but Talia I would have to told you to go for it. To make sure that you didn't miss the chance we did.
"As it is, if you hurt her, I will kill you," he said dispassionately before downing his last drink for the evening.
"But that will be nothing, compared to what the Source will do to you."
And with that, Xander stood up from the stool he had been sitting on and steadily made his way out of the bar. Valdis stared after him for a while before he too made his way carefully out of the bar.
*************
At a table in a dark corner, near enough to the place at the bar the two demons had previously occupied, sat a cloaked and hooded figure.
Talia's eyes were wide with shock. She downed her drink and rushed out of the bar as quickly as she could, without attracting any undue attention. When she finally reached a place where she knew she couldn't be seen, she flamed back to her room in Haliwell Manor.