Disclaimer: Hellblazer is the property of DC Comics and The Discworld is
the property of Terry Pratchett.
The Shite Fantastic
A Hellblazer/Discworld Crossover
By: Mozphoto
Chapter 2: An Exercise in Exorcism
King Verence stood outside the room of his daughter.
Granny Weatherwax had told him not to enter under any circumstances, and then the four witches, Granny, Nanny Ogg, Queen Magrat (his wife), and Agnes Nitt had gone into the room to face princess Esmerelda Notespelling (if you want an explanation for that name, read CARPE JUGULUM).
Ever since they returned from the dancers, it was obvious that something was wrong with the baby. You just couldn't put your finger on it at first, but there was something about her eyes that just weren't right. The first real clue was when it came time for her nappy-changing. Verence had changed his daughter before and knew quite well that what you found in a baby's nappy could be somewhat disturbing to begin with. But to find the baby's mess had made a perfect octogram-shaped stain was very out of the ordinary to say the least.
And now he'd been waiting outside his daughter's room, fretting as he heard very strange noises coming from within. And then, silence.
The door opened slowly and out walked the witches.
"Oh dear," said Verence.
In his days as a jester, the sight before him would have been given him several years worth of comedy material, but Verence just gaped (two reasons for that - firstly, Verence had loathed his life as a fool and so tried to avoid humour unless it was absolutely necessary and secondly - and some would say more importantly - because no-one in their right minds would laugh at a witch). Agnes seemed to be the least damaged. All her hair (and I do mean ALL) was pointing straight up. She also seemed to be having a very quiet, very heated argument with herself. Magrat was covered in green slime (granted, this meant that for the first time in ages her hair was actually lying flat, but it was a very small consolation). It was very obvious that Nanny Ogg would need to borrow a skirt or some aprons from the palace cook , as she seemed to be missing her skirt (to see Nanny's knickers - yes, the ones all covered with little piggies - was almost as disturbing as seeing demonic symbols in your daughter's poopy diaper). And Granny. oh dear, this was not good at all. Granny's hat had been burned off. All that remained was a smoking brim and several red-hot hat pins stuck in her hair.
Without so much as a word, Granny stalked out of the castle.
"Excuse me," Magrat mumbled, "I seem to be a bit of a mess." She then ran to her room, crying.
Verence turned to Nanny Ogg. "What has happened to my daughter?"
"In all my years of carin' for babbies, I've never seen the like." Nanny said in a far-away voice. "This will take some thinking and make no mistake."
"What can I do to help?"
"For now, see to Magrat. She'll be neeing comforting about now." With that she took Agnes by the hand and led her out of the castle.
The Shite Fantastic
A Hellblazer/Discworld Crossover
By: Mozphoto
Chapter 2: An Exercise in Exorcism
King Verence stood outside the room of his daughter.
Granny Weatherwax had told him not to enter under any circumstances, and then the four witches, Granny, Nanny Ogg, Queen Magrat (his wife), and Agnes Nitt had gone into the room to face princess Esmerelda Notespelling (if you want an explanation for that name, read CARPE JUGULUM).
Ever since they returned from the dancers, it was obvious that something was wrong with the baby. You just couldn't put your finger on it at first, but there was something about her eyes that just weren't right. The first real clue was when it came time for her nappy-changing. Verence had changed his daughter before and knew quite well that what you found in a baby's nappy could be somewhat disturbing to begin with. But to find the baby's mess had made a perfect octogram-shaped stain was very out of the ordinary to say the least.
And now he'd been waiting outside his daughter's room, fretting as he heard very strange noises coming from within. And then, silence.
The door opened slowly and out walked the witches.
"Oh dear," said Verence.
In his days as a jester, the sight before him would have been given him several years worth of comedy material, but Verence just gaped (two reasons for that - firstly, Verence had loathed his life as a fool and so tried to avoid humour unless it was absolutely necessary and secondly - and some would say more importantly - because no-one in their right minds would laugh at a witch). Agnes seemed to be the least damaged. All her hair (and I do mean ALL) was pointing straight up. She also seemed to be having a very quiet, very heated argument with herself. Magrat was covered in green slime (granted, this meant that for the first time in ages her hair was actually lying flat, but it was a very small consolation). It was very obvious that Nanny Ogg would need to borrow a skirt or some aprons from the palace cook , as she seemed to be missing her skirt (to see Nanny's knickers - yes, the ones all covered with little piggies - was almost as disturbing as seeing demonic symbols in your daughter's poopy diaper). And Granny. oh dear, this was not good at all. Granny's hat had been burned off. All that remained was a smoking brim and several red-hot hat pins stuck in her hair.
Without so much as a word, Granny stalked out of the castle.
"Excuse me," Magrat mumbled, "I seem to be a bit of a mess." She then ran to her room, crying.
Verence turned to Nanny Ogg. "What has happened to my daughter?"
"In all my years of carin' for babbies, I've never seen the like." Nanny said in a far-away voice. "This will take some thinking and make no mistake."
"What can I do to help?"
"For now, see to Magrat. She'll be neeing comforting about now." With that she took Agnes by the hand and led her out of the castle.