Instert standard disclaimer here. Everyone should know that I don't own these characters. Except, of course, the original ones. Also chopped the story up into chapters. Sorry if the transitions are rough. If you want to read it without chapters, head over to vejiitasei.com.

Absolution- Part 1, Chapter 13
by the Prime Minister

Lina leaned against the door as she closed it behind Xellos, heart pounding madly inside of her chest. Her cheeks burned and she wondered what the hell she had been thinking. Had she completely lost her mind? Xellos was a Monster, not the human lover whose life she had shared for nearly a year. She couldn't want a Monster anyway, could she?

She shook her head to clear it, thinking that she was probably just grasping at the nearest physical contact she could. The men in her life had always been physically attentive, and she found that she missed it. Still, to want to take a Monster... Never mind the fact that even though she could feel no heart beating within his chest, his muscles and perfect skin still seemed to be intact. His appearance certainly hadn't changed along with his race, and she knew that his toned, tight body had been just a thin layer of fabric away. It had been so long since she had been held in an intimate matter, and matters weren't helped by the fact that she could remember him so incredibly well. Her history with Gourry warred with her brief, intense history with Xellos and she turned away from the bed in disgust at herself. Her body might be ready, but her heart wasn't.

She sat heavily on the edge of the bed and waited until Lecia's crying ceased and Xellos could be heard in the bathing chamber, cooing to the baby and drawing her bath.

It's ready, Miss Lina, he called, his footsteps padding away down the hall.

Saying nothing, she waited by the door until he could no longer be heard, then quickly slipped from her room into the bath, leaving her clothes heaped on the floor. Sticking her toes into the water, she found the temperature was absolutely perfect and lowered herself in. The water swirled around her as she sat down and she realized that the water had even been scented. It smelled exactly like her favorite white roses. Damn that Xellos, how dare he know her so well.
With a sigh she let herself sink deeper into the water, unable to believe that an entire year had passed since that awful day at Filia's, when Xellos had been roaring her name outside and it felt as if she would split in two from the child exiting her womb. Giving birth had been the most painful thing she had ever experienced and she felt justified in never wanting to do it in the first place. Oh, how she had loathed the tiny creature that came from her body, hating what it represented. The baby was proof, to her at least, of what she had so briefly shared with Xellos and what could never be again. It seemed a cruel joke that a being should exist as such a mockery of time spent with another person. She had felt guilty at leaving the baby, and therefore her past with Xellos, behind, but the moment she had laid eyes on Gourry, all such feelings had passed. From that moment on she knew only the security of his embrace.

Then the baby had come back with Xellos, dredging up all her old fears and disappointments. It had been several months since she had seen Gourry. Her time with him had been brief, far too brief, but there was nothing she could do about it now. She felt as if her strength had finally returned. Today, on the anniversary of her child's first year of life, it seemed like she was ready to reclaim her life. The question that plagued her, as she sat in the deep tub, was which direction to take. She knew that Xellos wouldn't try to stop her if she wanted to leave. Still, if she left, where would she go? Back to Seyruun, where her memories could torment her daily? Wandering again alone, which would only emphasize her loneliness?

A scowl crossed her face and she wiped sweat from her brow. She had another option, as much as she didn't want to admit it. It was the path that Gourry wanted her to take, and Xellos. Did she want to take it, though? she murmured into the water, remembering what the word sounded like in her child's voice. Something inside her quivered and she knew that if she left now, she most likely would never see any of her friends again. She would have to hide her past from herself and others every single day. Wasn't that too high a price to pay for leaving Xellos and Lecia?

Groaning to herself and closing her eyes, she leaned her head against the edge of the tub, thinking. Lecia's burbling laugher came to her from somewhere in the house, and the striking image of Xellos playing peekaboo with their daughter sprang to mind, the baby's face stretched in a toothless grin. Could she really stand to leave that?

Mind made up, she got out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her hair, throwing on a robe. She left the bathroom without a backward glance, instead marching to the spot Lecia's laughing was coming from. Sure enough, Xellos was engaged in a serious game of peekaboo with the baby, making all sorts of funny noises as he covered and uncovered his face with his gloved hands. she said sharply, suddenly very self-conscious. She could feel droplets of water snake down her spine as he lifted his head to look at her, an expression of equal surprise on Lecia's face.

he asked, standing up slowly.

Open your eyes.

Miss Lina?

A scowl settled on her face. Just open them.

He pressed his lips together and slowly revealed the glittering amethyst depths of his eyes, their slitted gaze boring into her. He blinked once or twice, but the rest of his expression remained carefully neutral. he said softly, as if afraid he would scare her off.

I'm staying with you, she announced, holding her breath after she spoke. There, she had said it. It was too late to take things back now.

He lowered his head fractionally, a mirthless smile crossing his lips. For how long?

Lecia began to make noise and Lina glanced at her, watching her fat baby limbs move aimlessly in the air. For a while. I'd like to see a few more of Lecia's birthdays.

Xellos did not react at all and a strange sort of disappointment slowly spread through her chest. I'm glad that you made that decision, he said after a few moments, his dark gaze suddenly meeting hers. She swallowed a breath as she looked into his eyes, tantalized and frightened simultaneously by what she saw there.

You should be, she said sharply, then felt silly. She watched his gaze take a quick inventory of her body, then the fabric of his gloves went taut over his knuckles as he clenched his hands. A strange look passed over his face, somewhere between despair, anger, and disgust, leaving her bewildered.

He turned away from her slightly, looking back at Lecia, then his lips parted as if he would say something. She held her breath, waiting, but no words came from him. The air in the room seemed to thicken with hidden thoughts and she found it increasingly difficult to bear. I think today we should focus on the little one, he murmured after several more moments of strained silence.

Fine with me, Lina said with a nod, forcing enthusiasm into her voice, hoping that if she pretended to feel it she eventually actually would. I'll go get dressed and then it's party time!

A tight smile crossed Xellos' face. Everything will be ready by the time you are finished, he said gently, then gathered up Lecia in his arms and disappeared.

When Lina emerged from her room once again the dining table was laden with delectable things to eat. Lecia was strapped into a highchair, slapping her palms against the wooden tray. Xellos stood at the sink in shirtsleeves, his head slightly bowed. He seemed to be wearing an apron, although it was difficult for her to tell with his back to her. She resisted the suddenly intense urge to press herself to his back and rest her head against his shoulderblades, like she had done so many times when they had been living together in their little cabin. Those days were long gone, and would never return. They were parents now, and when she thought about all the free time they would never have again it annoyed her. I remember when everything you cooked was geared towards killing others, whether through poison or sheer stench, she said, walking over to the table and peering at the food heaped there.

You don't appear to be dead, so I will assume that my skill at pleasing the human palate has grown since then, he said, not turning around.

Yeah, although it was touch and go at first, she said with a short laugh, but he didn't take her up on her humorous mood.

he announced, and turned around. He held a plate in his hands, upon which sat a large chocolate cake. There were icing letters written on the cake in an impeccable hand, and she knew immediately he had done his best to make it perfect.

You forgot the little candles, Lina said.

Xellos held the cake nearer to his face, and Lina watched in curiosity as he scrutinized the surface. You are correct, he murmured, a slight frown on his brow. What is the tradition? A candle for each year?

Yeah, she only needs one candle, Lina said, eying Xellos warily.

How about. . .Here, he proclaimed, and pointed at the cake, snapping his fingers at the same time. Lecia squealed aloud as a single candle appeared out of nowhere in the center of the cake, a flame already at the end of its tiny wick.

Lina growled. And she's only a baby! How is she supposed to blow it out?

Xellos glanced from the cake in his hands to the child. I suppose you're right, he said mildly, turning his face to her, eyes closed. Perhaps you should blow it out. Go ahead, make your fondest wish.

The tone of his voice as he said those last few words was flat, but Lina knew there was weight behind them. Sometimes she felt as if she and Xellos were engaged in a strange dance, trying to say everything while revealing nothing. Perhaps it was time to try and talk with him for real instead of the polite, banal conversations they had been having up to that point in time. She finally knew what was going on inside her head, but now she found that she wanted to know what was going on inside of his. Fondest wish, eh? she mumbled, then leaned forward and blew out the candle. Lecia squealed and clapped her hands together, then reached for the candle.

Xellos said gently, pinching the wick with his bare fingers to extinguish any heat left in it, then handed the candle to Lecia. As he turned to set the cake down on the table, Lecia immediately tried to put the candle in her mouth.

Lina said, snatching the candle away. That's not good to eat! Lecia's face started to scrunch up, and Lina knew that tears were only moments away. Oh, don't cry, she said softly, handing the candle back to Lecia and stroking her silky purple hair. Just don't eat it, okay?

Lecia reached out and took the candle, turning it over in her chubby fingers and examining it. She looked up at Lina and broke out in a grin, giggling and holding the candle up. Good girl, Lina heard Xellos say behind her, and turned her head to see him facing them, a small smile on his face and his hands planted on his narrow hips. He cut a lovely figure, standing there in slippers and an apron, sleeves rolled up and hair pulled back in a short ponytail. She only wished that he would open his eyes and really look at her, and resisted the urge to put her hands on his broad shoulders and shake him for all she was worth. Shall we sing?

I can't sing, Lina muttered, a scowl appearing on her brow.

Xellos replied. I remember you once singing something about a boomerang. . .

Lina's eyes opened wide as an evil little smile crossed his face and she reached forward, punching him on the upper arm. Shut up! I can't believe you even remember that!

I remember everything, he said brightly, then launched into a happy birthday song, his clear tenor filling the room. Lina joined in tentatively, and before long their singing was joined by Lecia's squeals and laughter. Lina edged closer to Xellos all throughout the song until her shoulder was nearly touching him. Slowly she reached down and hooked his pinky with hers, holding him tentatively. It was rare that Xellos was without his gloves, and she found that she liked the slightly-rough skin of his hand pressed to hers. It had been such a long time.

His body tensed next to hers and he turned his head, the strands of his hair that weren't long enough to be pulled back framing his face. She pursed her lips and stared up at him solemnly as their song ended, then gripped his finger more tightly with hers. His brows furrowed slightly, then relaxed as he returned her pressure. Open your eyes, she whispered to him.

They're Monster's eyes, he said in return, voice pitched so low she could barely hear him.

I don't care anymore, she replied, releasing his finger and sliding her hand into his, surprised when he suddenly gripped it tightly. You were my friend, sort of, while you were a Monster, and you're no worse now than you were then. Besides, it's not your fault. I've accepted what my life has handed to me, finally, and I think it's time you do the same. We can't change what's happened to us, that's for sure.

Miss Lina. . .

Come on, Xellos. It's Lecia's birthday. We should try to be happy today, for her sake at least.

He looked at their child, his eyes slowly opening. His grip on her hand didn't loosen, but he also didn't make any further overtures. It made her wonder once again what was going on inside of him. You are correct, as I've come to expect from you.

Lina said, tugging on his hand and spinning him around. Let's eat!

Of course,Xellos said with a smile, locking her eyes with his. No more games?

She studied his slitted gaze, trying to decipher what she saw in its depths. Failing, she shrugged. I'll try if you'll try, she said, and smiled.

Good enough, Xellos said with a nod, and released her hand. Soon he had heaped a plate full with food and handed it to her.

she cried, sitting down and scooping up her silverware, feeling saliva fill her mouth.

Wait, I know it's Lecia's birthday, but I have something for you, too, he said, face tightening in concentration as he dug through the pockets of his baggy trousers. Ah, here we are.

Lina eyed him warily as he extended his hand and opened it, revealing a small parcel. She took it carefully and unwrapped it, blinking as a ruby as long as her thumb came into view. It was set in a very delicate gold fitting, the whole thing a part of an amazingly fine necklace. The stone was exactly the color of her eyes. she breathed, freeing the necklace from its paper and fastening it around her neck. The stone hung just above the shallow cleft between her breasts and dazzled her as the light hit it. It's beautiful!

I thought it fitting to present you with something on the anniversary of your first year of motherhood, he replied.

This is perfect! Where did you find it?

A familiar smile spread across his face and his eyes slid closed as he raised his index finger. That's a secret, he replied brightly, and set about feeding Lecia.