Chapter 9

I was so confused. I killed them, yes, but wasn't I suppose to kill anyone who threatened me. It wasn't on my mind then that Brock was a "freak" like me. I didn't bother me that there could be more of "my kind" out there somewhere. All that was bothering me was Copper's reaction. I had missed him so much. He was all I really had outside the world of war and he was afraid of me?

I looked at my reflection in the water puddle. Maybe he was right. Had I become some sort of monster killing machine? Had they did what I fought so hard not to become. Was I now only an emotionless weapon. No! I refused to believe it! If I was then I wouldn't be hurting so much right now! I would agree that I wasn't the same as I was when I was 12. I wasn't 12 anymore though. I was 16. Everyone changes within that time period. Just some do more than others. In my case, I had made a drastic jump. I had too. What choice did I have.

In my moments of self-pity it occurred to me. Kerry and Streaks. My brother and sister. Where were they? I looked around and saw a phone booth. I went in and opened a book. I saw my sister's name. I tore the page out and put it in my pocket. I was going to find her.

It didn't take me long to find her house. It was a cute, small two story house. It looked like she was doing quite well for herself. I walked up the porch stairs and knocked on the door. It opened, and there stood my sister.

She was frozen in shock and disbelief for an instant or two. "Sindel?" she questioned in awe. "Is it you? What are you doing here?"

I smile. "Yea, I'm on vacation so I decided to drop by and see how my big sister is doing. Can I come in?"

"Kami, of course you can." She got out of the way and let me in.

"This place is nice," I replied. "Does Streaks live with you?"

"Yes," she replied. "But he's in a boarding school."

"Boarding school?" I questioned. "You can afford that?"

"My husband pays for it."

"You got married?"

"Hai, 8 months ago," she said. "He works for our government so he gets paid enough to support me."

"That's good," I smiled. "It seems you two have been busy in other areas as well." I pointed to her stomach.

She smiled and laid her hand on it. "Yea, we're expecting a boy. I just have a few weeks left."

"What are you going to name him?"

"Todd."

"Common, don't you think?"

"Well, that's what Tauras said too," she replied. "But I told him my family shares a history of odd names. It was time for a normal one."

I chuckled. "Just remember, sista," I said. "When you have girls, they're going to be Karen and Adrianne."

"And when you have boys they'll be Grae and Hunter."

I shook my head and walked into the kitchen. "I doubt I'm the motherly type sista," I replied. "The chances of me getting married and/or having little Rip Raptors of my own are very slim."

"Oh, I don't think so," she said. "The war is basically over now. And, wow, you've grown up to be so beautiful."

"You think so?" I questioned.

"I know so," she replied. "I always knew you were. That's why I always encouraged you to be more lady like."

I gave a small chuckle.

"Have you seen Copper yet?"

I lowered my head, leaned against the door frame and folded my arms across my chest. "Yea, I did," I said. "Kerry, he's afraid of me."

"What?" she awed. "Why would he be?"

"Think about how I was the last time he saw me, Kerry," I replied. "Then seeing my now. Not just the way I look but the way I am. You said yourself I became beautiful, and I believe you. My war buddies even tell me that. Also, the fact that the encounter I had with Visser Three and the whole war thing made me into this emotionless killing machine."

"Sindel if you were emotionless, you wouldn't be worried about something like this," she replied.

"I know that," I replied. "It's just the fact that in the moment of killing I feel nothing."

"How many people have you killed?"

I looked at her. "Kerry, it's war," I pointed out. "Numbers are uncountable when it comes to the number of people I have killed."

She nodded. "I believe I am understanding," she said. "I don't think Copper does because he hasn't gone through you've gone through. He hasn't been forced to kill. He hasn't been forced to fight a war sense he was a kid."

"I know," I replied. "But it still hurts."

She put her hands on my shoulders. "And it should, baby sister," she said. "Because you have a heart, and it's not black. It's not black at all. It's a good heart. It shows because you care how the friend you cared and loved for so long reacts to you now. He just needs to get used to you. Give him some time to think. When he realizes it then he'll come to you."

"Can he realize within two weeks?" I questioned. "That's all I have outside those walls. Then who knows what Leo has for me to do."

"Then let me give you a piece of advice for you that always works."

"What's that?"

"Pray."

Pray? Me, the one the Arch Angel Michael wants dead to pray? I never really thought about praying to God before. I knew he was real. I just never thought he did me any good. After all he's house did not welcome me at all. Why, is a certain mystery to me at this moment in time.

I came upon the front of a Church. There were several different religions that worshipped God. My sister had adopted one from the planet Earth called Catholicism. It was the same has many of the other troops. Except Sabra, she was Jewish. It's amazing how worlds apart believed in this same....God. The belief was universal. I knew I couldn't go inside this church, but I was going to try this.

I walked around. There was no one there. I came upon the graveyard. No one there, and no Michael coming after me. So I stood there. How was I supposed to start to talk to this God that I never knew?

I just stopped and opened up my arms. "Okay, big cheese, I'm going to do my best here, but don't think I'm going to get on my knees and doing this little chants that everyone else does. I am not bounded by you, Yaweh." I paced a few steps. "So what's so great about you anyway? I mean you want everyone to worship you, but you don't even allow me in the place where I am to worship you. I mean, they say you love everyone, but why am I always in so much pain? Tell me, because I'd really like to know. They say once someone knows you than there is nothing left you want. There is no more suffering. Well, I'm giving you a chance right now!"

Then a hand was laid on my shoulder. I spun around quickly in a tensed manner.

"Whoa, settle down it's just me."

"Silvy?" I awed. "Man, don't scare me like that again."

"I am sorry, M'Lady."

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"I saw you come this way on my way to the forest," he replied. "You told me next time I went for a little nature walk that you would accompany me. However, I see that you are busy...."

"You know what," I said. "I'll go." I smiled. "There's nothing here for me anyway."

"For some reason, I am sad to here that," he replied. "But, let's go."

"Yea."