Summary: Ok... I wasn't totally planning on doing a second chapter, but my reviewers (however few, you guys ROCK! And so I dedicate this chapter to all those that reviewed the first) made me want to :-D Not to mention I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ron and yeah I just can never get tired of writing about him.
Rating: PG-13 for mild swearing
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
~*~
Light: the Second Installment
I did see her at dinner, in a long sleeved white shirt with some muggle logo proclaiming it's individuality across the front of it and black pants with creases down the front. Even in muggle clothing she seemed to blend in with everyone, just enough, although her radiance separated her from the rest, at least for me. She stopped to say "hi" to a few people before finding her way to her normal spot, across the table from me. It amazed me how she could stay so happy around other people, how she could put on such a strong face after what Lupin had just told us today. Maybe that's a gift sent to the bright, one that was being given while I was being forgotten.
It was almost disgusting, dishonorable, Tonks was our friend, no one should be smiling while she was... Gone, when our eyes locked I saw she wasn't though maybe on the surface she was, but inside she was still crying.
"I checked on Harry," She muttered as she sat down. I forced a smile to appear on my own face. He's my best friend, he really is, but he's not for her to take care of, that's not her part. But maybe I'm not good enough at the part of glue, maybe she realizes that and is finally taking over what is too big a responsibility for Ron Weasley.
"How's he doing?" I asked sincerity, true sincerity, I do care, I DO. She sighed softly; and directed her gaze to the empty plate in front of her, but even with her eyes lowered I could see the glisten in them. Why does he do it to her? Doesn't he see the angel whose only goal is to make HIM happy; The Goddess who abandons her throne to look after him; the star who falls from the sky to breath light into him?
"He really scares me sometimes Ron," she whispered, and I hated myself. If I ignored her, hid from her, avoided her as he does, would she cry for me? I think of the anklet and it gives me hope but what is hope? The force that excels the good to great, or the lie that keeps the lowly hanging on, a long painful death...
"Me too," I replied and her eyes blinked back up to mine. She squinted at me again and it made me uncomfortable, am I fraud? Do I REALLY care or was she seeing the malevolent voice that tells me that Harry's only doing this for her attention. I looked away.
A silence over took us for a long time. Eventually I scooped on whatever food was on the table, onto my plate and began mindlessly eating it forcing each ash-like bite down my throat. I felt sick, disgusting. Harry IS my friend, my best friend, my brother and if Hermione likes him better then me then I should let her, if that's what makes her happy... But I couldn't not then, still can't now, come to think of it.
She didn't eat, she just sat there for a long time staring at the table, and then at me, and then at the table. I had a feeling other people near us were watching us too, as usual waiting for the show that would come along with one of our stupid fights, probably started by my pretentious shit.
"Ron," she finally started cautiously in a very soft very high-pitched voice. I took a deep breath and looked up; she was biting her bottom lip.
"What H'mione?" I asked in a voice much softer and lower than I had meant to, almost too quiet to hear. She didn't reply for a long time just stared and took several deep breaths. "Ron, why do you hate Harry?" I imagined her saying, or "Ron, why are you so selfish?" "Ron, why won't you just leave me alone?" "Ron, I hate you." "I hate me too," I'd reply quietly and then what would happen?
But she still wears the anklet. Still.
"Ron, I don't want to lose you too," She finally cried, not a sob, but a really soft cry, so soft that our audience couldn't hear, I could hardly hear... Maybe I was dreaming.
"What?" I asked.
"Harry's lost, and I thought, I thought maybe if I just kept talking to him, maybe... I thought you and I... I thought we, maybe together we could help Harry and then we could be us again, but now..." She stopped and covered her mouth with her hand and I sat there feeling stupid. "Now you... Please don't leave me Ron, PLEASE!" she was crying now loud and I was still just staring at her, me leave HER?
She was up and running away before I could reply. I admit that when I put my hand up to my face, to see if I was really there, if this was real, that my cheeks were wet, I don't know how long I sat there crying. Eventually Neville found me and told me that Hermione wouldn't come out of the girl's dormitory and that if we had, had a fight, could we please make up soon because he had a potions test coming up and needed her help.
I've never been known for my bravery, hell, I've never been known period. And I wasn't brave enough to go talk to her. I wish I was I really wish I was, but I wasn't. I went to the boys dormitory, to my bed, and let myself collapse into it's blankets. She cared. She cared about ME the cloud, the glue, the mistake.
She never ceases to amaze me.
And I hurt her, AGAIN. I made her cry, instead of being the helpful friend I should have been I abandoned her and Harry, HARRY my best friend.
"What's wrong?" his dark voice asked as I laid there like an idiot. It surprised me, he had hardly said two words to me since the news that morning.
"Hermione, she thinks I, WE, are abandoning her," I replied after the initial shock wore off I sat up and opened the curtains around my bed. Harry looked back at me, through half closed eyes.
"I hate myself for it," He whispered and I nodded. We both sat in silence for a long time.
"She was crying... I made her cry..." I sighed and as the last bit of oxygen left my lungs the sigh turned into a sob. I covered my mouth and felt myself shaking. Harry watched me desolately.
"Why does it have to be US, Ron?" He finally asked after I had calmed down. "This is the," he paused as he calculated, "Ninth person in the past two years... Tenth in the last three." He whispered and his voice started shaking too.
"I can't go to another funeral," I agreed putting my head in my hands.
"She doesn't deserve it though," He said after a long time. And I sat up and looked at him. I nodded and wiped my eyes.
"Losing you is really hard for her," I replied softly.
"Losing me is sad, but Ron even mothering me, she always talked about you, you're her light."
Harry, my best friend.
~*~
Man this is like even cornier the first bit... oh well, it makes for a semi-happy ending. Reviewers will be worshiped.....
Rating: PG-13 for mild swearing
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
~*~
Light: the Second Installment
I did see her at dinner, in a long sleeved white shirt with some muggle logo proclaiming it's individuality across the front of it and black pants with creases down the front. Even in muggle clothing she seemed to blend in with everyone, just enough, although her radiance separated her from the rest, at least for me. She stopped to say "hi" to a few people before finding her way to her normal spot, across the table from me. It amazed me how she could stay so happy around other people, how she could put on such a strong face after what Lupin had just told us today. Maybe that's a gift sent to the bright, one that was being given while I was being forgotten.
It was almost disgusting, dishonorable, Tonks was our friend, no one should be smiling while she was... Gone, when our eyes locked I saw she wasn't though maybe on the surface she was, but inside she was still crying.
"I checked on Harry," She muttered as she sat down. I forced a smile to appear on my own face. He's my best friend, he really is, but he's not for her to take care of, that's not her part. But maybe I'm not good enough at the part of glue, maybe she realizes that and is finally taking over what is too big a responsibility for Ron Weasley.
"How's he doing?" I asked sincerity, true sincerity, I do care, I DO. She sighed softly; and directed her gaze to the empty plate in front of her, but even with her eyes lowered I could see the glisten in them. Why does he do it to her? Doesn't he see the angel whose only goal is to make HIM happy; The Goddess who abandons her throne to look after him; the star who falls from the sky to breath light into him?
"He really scares me sometimes Ron," she whispered, and I hated myself. If I ignored her, hid from her, avoided her as he does, would she cry for me? I think of the anklet and it gives me hope but what is hope? The force that excels the good to great, or the lie that keeps the lowly hanging on, a long painful death...
"Me too," I replied and her eyes blinked back up to mine. She squinted at me again and it made me uncomfortable, am I fraud? Do I REALLY care or was she seeing the malevolent voice that tells me that Harry's only doing this for her attention. I looked away.
A silence over took us for a long time. Eventually I scooped on whatever food was on the table, onto my plate and began mindlessly eating it forcing each ash-like bite down my throat. I felt sick, disgusting. Harry IS my friend, my best friend, my brother and if Hermione likes him better then me then I should let her, if that's what makes her happy... But I couldn't not then, still can't now, come to think of it.
She didn't eat, she just sat there for a long time staring at the table, and then at me, and then at the table. I had a feeling other people near us were watching us too, as usual waiting for the show that would come along with one of our stupid fights, probably started by my pretentious shit.
"Ron," she finally started cautiously in a very soft very high-pitched voice. I took a deep breath and looked up; she was biting her bottom lip.
"What H'mione?" I asked in a voice much softer and lower than I had meant to, almost too quiet to hear. She didn't reply for a long time just stared and took several deep breaths. "Ron, why do you hate Harry?" I imagined her saying, or "Ron, why are you so selfish?" "Ron, why won't you just leave me alone?" "Ron, I hate you." "I hate me too," I'd reply quietly and then what would happen?
But she still wears the anklet. Still.
"Ron, I don't want to lose you too," She finally cried, not a sob, but a really soft cry, so soft that our audience couldn't hear, I could hardly hear... Maybe I was dreaming.
"What?" I asked.
"Harry's lost, and I thought, I thought maybe if I just kept talking to him, maybe... I thought you and I... I thought we, maybe together we could help Harry and then we could be us again, but now..." She stopped and covered her mouth with her hand and I sat there feeling stupid. "Now you... Please don't leave me Ron, PLEASE!" she was crying now loud and I was still just staring at her, me leave HER?
She was up and running away before I could reply. I admit that when I put my hand up to my face, to see if I was really there, if this was real, that my cheeks were wet, I don't know how long I sat there crying. Eventually Neville found me and told me that Hermione wouldn't come out of the girl's dormitory and that if we had, had a fight, could we please make up soon because he had a potions test coming up and needed her help.
I've never been known for my bravery, hell, I've never been known period. And I wasn't brave enough to go talk to her. I wish I was I really wish I was, but I wasn't. I went to the boys dormitory, to my bed, and let myself collapse into it's blankets. She cared. She cared about ME the cloud, the glue, the mistake.
She never ceases to amaze me.
And I hurt her, AGAIN. I made her cry, instead of being the helpful friend I should have been I abandoned her and Harry, HARRY my best friend.
"What's wrong?" his dark voice asked as I laid there like an idiot. It surprised me, he had hardly said two words to me since the news that morning.
"Hermione, she thinks I, WE, are abandoning her," I replied after the initial shock wore off I sat up and opened the curtains around my bed. Harry looked back at me, through half closed eyes.
"I hate myself for it," He whispered and I nodded. We both sat in silence for a long time.
"She was crying... I made her cry..." I sighed and as the last bit of oxygen left my lungs the sigh turned into a sob. I covered my mouth and felt myself shaking. Harry watched me desolately.
"Why does it have to be US, Ron?" He finally asked after I had calmed down. "This is the," he paused as he calculated, "Ninth person in the past two years... Tenth in the last three." He whispered and his voice started shaking too.
"I can't go to another funeral," I agreed putting my head in my hands.
"She doesn't deserve it though," He said after a long time. And I sat up and looked at him. I nodded and wiped my eyes.
"Losing you is really hard for her," I replied softly.
"Losing me is sad, but Ron even mothering me, she always talked about you, you're her light."
Harry, my best friend.
~*~
Man this is like even cornier the first bit... oh well, it makes for a semi-happy ending. Reviewers will be worshiped.....