Chapter 12
"He's cute, you know," Jessi said. We were sitting in a tree branch by Copper's house.
I shot a glare at her. "Who?"
"Who else, silly, Copper," he giggled.
I shrugged. "If you like his type. Copper is one of those guys that looks in the mirror at himself too much."
"I think you like him."
"Jessi, Copper has been my best friend sense I was born," I pointed out. "The term 'like' and best friends don't mix. Sure, I love the guy like he was my own brother, but as anything else it hasn't occurred to me."
"Then can I have him?" She gave me a big, toothy, feline grin.
A wave a jealousy swept across me. How dare she ask me that?!
I grinned though. "If you think you can get him," I replied. "He's really picky. I don't think he'll be interested in feline."
She frowned. "I guess not," she snapped. "He has too much of a soft spot for a raptor."
I growled, "What's that supposed to mean?!" while swinging my fist.
She dodged it, being that I was still recovering. She laughed. "Chill out girl," she said. "It means what it means." She jumped down. "At least he doesn't lie to himself. "
I narrowed my eyes down at her. Just what game was she trying to play with me. I hate being played games with. If she wasn't my friend I might have killed her.
It's been two days sense I woke up. I got out of that nice little gown I had worn for the longest. Sabra and Copper went go pick me up a few outfits. Nothing black though, I was a little disappointed. Today I had jeans, a dark brown t-shirt, and ...tennis shoes. I haven't worn these things sense I was 12.
I lifted my feet to look at me shoes. They were cute. I swung them a little with girlish joy. I began to think. I never had a chance to be a kid. Even at my own home. My mother died when I was very young. I had to face abuse from my father for eight years and now here I was. I was the "weapon" of the Trium army. I never had a chance to be a kid. I never had a chance to be a person. I grew up to fast. I missed out on the simple joys in life to the point where I couldn't even find joys I'm supposed to find now.
I lowered my head. I all of a sudden had the urge to cry from my own thoughts . I all of a sudden felt so lonely. I hugged myself. Thoughts like this I never occurred to me, not like this. They've never occurred to the point were they wanted to make me break down into tears.
"What's wrong?"
My head shot up quickly. It was Copper.
"You look as if you just lost your best friend." He lifted an eyebrow. "Don't worry I didn't go far." He grinned at me. It fades because I did not answer or return the gesture. "Something is bothering you."
"Copper, I don't want to be me any more," I said.
He blinked a few times in confusion.
"I just thought, about how much I missed out when I was child," I said. "I had to grow up for myself at the age of four. I had to train to become an emotionless machine, which they didn't completely fail at, sense I was 12. Look at me now." I turned my head towards him. "I can't enjoy anything. It was as if I was never meant to. I can't remember times when I was happy because I fear as if I was never happy. The wounds from my past are making me suffer twice of much now and more like more in my future. I...I don't think I'm strong enough to handle them. I just want it all to stop right here and right now, Copper." I turned away. "I feel so alone and it's eating me up from the inside out. I can feel it slowly killing me. It's working with my subconscious entiney. The entiney I had my whole life that I've fighting to keep from consuming every part of me. At the same time though....I need it. At times, it's not just something I feel inside me, but it is me. Copper, it scares me."
I suddenly felt his arms secure me in hug. His embrace cause me to burst into tears. I didn't know what kind of emotions I was going through right now. All I knew was I didn't want to go back in 4 days to that base camp again. I wouldn't be able to live in there. I'd end up killing myself before the first day. My taste of freedom altered my thought and heart. I was afraid. I was afraid of myself. Without thinking of anything I returned his embrace. Even after four years I could still count on him. I was not alone here. I wasn't alone with him, but I would have to leave. I couldn't stay in this free world. Trium would hunt me down like an animal.
He wanted me to stay. I could feel it in his heart beat. Then I felt his arms from around my shoulders to my waist. It was a little surprise the back of my mind felt. Copper had never shown affection in this manner before. I did not care at that moment though. It worked. I liked it like that at that moment. I wanted it at that moment.
He leaned his forehead against mine. "Hey, Bash Girl," he said in a low whisper. "Don't worry about anything, got it. I am her for you, and I will take care you when ever you need to. If that's always than it's all the better."
It was hard for me to here this coming from him, Copper Ookami. He's never said anything like this in the past to any one before let alone me. I held me tighter for his words. I was an emotional wreck down. I thought I had felt weak before when I was in the clutches of that monster, Visser Three, but no. This was the weakest I ever felt. It was caused by my own self blame. I screwed with my mind to the point well I felt mentally handicapped.
My dear friend held onto my shaking body as if it was the most fragile thing he ever held. He held onto it as if it was the most important thing he every held. I wandered what was going through his head at that moment. What was he thinking? Was he thinking how weak I was? Why was I caring? Why did I wander? It wasn't like I can read his mind. Why would I want...
"Kami, I knew something like this would happen."
I looked up at him. "You knew what would happen?" I questioned him.
He blinked a few times at me. "What?" he questioned.
"Didn't you just say, 'Kami, I knew something like this would happen.'?"
He looked to the side. "I didn't exactly say it."
"Eh?!" I gasped. "Please, don't tell me you thought that! Damnit! I have enough shit happening already to me! I don't need to be hearing other people's minds."
"Shh." he hushed me with his finger. "So what if you are. You're a special case remember. You're maturing, Rip. So maybe your powers are. It shouldn't be too much of a big deal right. I mean, you can't change who you are, so just be thankful for what you have." He smiled at me. "Sense you left, I didn't have it to peachy either. After I discovered I was....what we are, I couldn't hide for long. I had to runaway, I came here to the colony and settled down. When I heard Everstine was destroyed, it tore me apart. I though you didn't make it. Sense then, I've been struggling a lot. I have very little money. I scrap around. I make my own furniture and clothes."
"Did, you make that gown?" I questioned.
"Hai."
"I liked it." I smiled. My tears had stopped buy my eyes were still swollen.
His cheeks began to blush. "Ummm, you can have it if you want. I thought you looked very nice in it."
"Oh really?"
His voice started to stutter.
I gave a confused look. "Copper, am I making you nervous?"
"Eh?!" he gasped. "Why would you....be making me nervous?"
"That's what I'd like to know," I pointed out.
He couldn't answer me. I was confused. Why was Copper asking so strangely all of a sudden? "I'm not going to snap and suddenly kill you," I chuckled.
"No, that's not it...." he looked away.
"Understandable," I replied. "I might just have to figure out how I did it before and see what your thinking my way."
"You wouldn't dare," he snapped.
I gave a big, goofy, toothy grin. "Try me. So are you going to tell me?"
He narrowed his eyes and just shook his head.
"Fine," I replied. I pushed myself from the hold he still had on me. "I'm going to go see what the others are doing then."
Before I moved further he grabbed my arm and pulled me back. What happened next was something I would have never have expected. He kissed me. He kissed me and held me firmer than he ever did before. I was in pure shock. My first thoughts were "What the hell?!" or "How dare he!?" But the thing was I didn't attempted to shove myself away from him. After a few moments of shock I closed my eyes and replied to his lips.
He suddenly parted away as if he was out of breath. His forehead against mine. I was in total awe. Then he suddenly jumped back. "Gomen," he said. "I didn't mean....I should not have done that. Sorry....." He jumped down. "It want happen again."
I sat there in awe, staring at him. I couldn't speak I was in too much of a shock. I was trying to figure out if that was real. I brought my fingers to my tips. I could still feel the tingling sensation he left there. It was enjoyable. Why did he apologize? I was not made at him. I watched as he walked away.
"Copper..."
I was starting to see apart of him that he shut out for a long time. For that second he was open and then he closed his door to me again. For that instant I felt an overwhelming joy come from him. As if he had a wound that was finally healed. But he stopped. He was hurt again. I owed it to him as my best friend to heal that wound again.