Harry Potter & the Honeychurch Institute of Magic
By Darkmoore
Arriving at their destination, Harry, Dobby and Hedwig made their way to the school grounds and what they found was absolutely not they had been expecting to find…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Two: Who's Interviewing Whom?
As Harry, Dobby and Hedwig looked at the school for the first time, they were slightly shocked. As they came into the clearing, they found the ruins of bombed out building surrounded by a crumbling wall that had barely survived World War II and the 50 some odd years of neglect in between.
"Harry Potter?" Dobby attentively asked "isn't we at the right place?"
"Yeah Dobby, I thought we were." responded Harry, although, he wasn't quite so sure himself.
However, it was then that Hedwig took flight from her master's shoulder and landed on the only piece of wall that looked like it would hold up her weight and hooted at the pair in a way that made Harry think she was mocking them by saying "What are you waiting for? Come on, let's get moving, I don't have all day."
Harry turned as Dobby tugged on his robes and said "Harry Potter sir, Dobby is thinking that your Hedwigy is making fun of us."
"I think your right Dobby, I think your right." Harry replied and then continued "We've come all this way, might as well go ahead a bit further, though if she's right, we'll never hear the end of it." Hedwig hooted in agreement.
As the pair approached Harry noticed a bell with a rope attached to it by the rusted out gate on the wall and with a grin on his face rang the bell just to see what would happen.
Suddenly a shower of gold and silver sparks flew everywhere covering the ruins, the wall and Harry and Dobby where they stood and with a great blinding light the ruins melted away as wave after wave of magic flew back like a pair curtains on an overly greased rod revealing one of the most wondrous sights Harry had every seen in his young life. There before them was a pair of the largest golden gates that Harry and Dobby had ever seen. They seemed to just sparkle invitingly in the sun light.
'Well, I guess the school isn't quite as unprotected as I once thought' thought Harry. "Well Dobby, I think we are in the right place after all, what do you think?"
"I is thinking I is seeing dark spots every place I is looking Harry Potter." Harry laughed and replied "I is thinking the same thing Dobby."
Once inside the gates, they were in the outer court yard of a small roundish castle with five towers. It was an impressive little castle, but no where near as grand as Hogwarts, but then again, nothing would ever be as grand as Hogwarts to Harry. He fell in love with that castle the moment he laid eyes on it and nothing has changed that since. Then Harry felt it…he missed Hogwarts. Maybe Hermione was right, maybe he should have taken Dumbledore up on his offer to teach there. 'No,' he thought to himself, 'I won't take charity!' So Harry and Dobby continued to walk the cobble stones up to the front entrance of the school and found the doors standing open as if waiting for him. Then again, since he was expected, he guessed maybe they were. Hedwig landed on his shoulders as they made their way inside to meet with Madame Klump.
* * * * *
"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh" screamed someone just inside the entrance hall, making Dobby pop out of sight, Hedwig to take flight and Harry's stomach to jump into his mouth. "They's a man missy, they's a man in the castle!!!" someone screamed again before Harry realized that is was a house elf.
"Er…" was all Harry could get out as the house elf went running down the hall. 'Man in the castle?' he thought, 'Is this an all-girl's school? I hadn't counted on that.' he mused.
Moments later a short elderly witch came walking from the direction the house elf went running into. Harry would have guessed her to be about 50 or 55, but with wizards and witches, you never know with their ages, she could be well over a hundred and he wouldn't have a clue. She was shorter than Harry and kind of reminded him of Professor Pomona Sprout, but with glasses.
"Now, now Fiddy, you've seen a man before. They are tall, muscular and do a lot of heavy lifting." she said and then continued while smiling "That's why we have them around."
"Nots the wiz'rd missy, I meanses him." Fiddy sqeaked while pointing at Dobby.
"Oh" she replied spying Dobby "You mean there's a male elf in the castle?" Fiddy nodded. "But we have several male elves working here already Fiddy" the woman said somewhat confused.
"Nots any that pretty missy" squeaked Fiddy as she giggled from behind her hand before popping away.
Dobby turned three shades of Weasley red on the spot, while Harry said in a sing song voice "Dobby's got a girlfriend." While Hedwig returned to her spot on Harry's shoulder and clicked approvingly.
"Harry Potter, you's is knowing Dobby is with Winky!" said the flustered elf before hiding his face in Harry's robes and continued in a muffled voice "Dobby isn't cheating on his sweety."
Harry felt bad for a moment for teasing his little friend as said "I know Dobby, I didn't mean it, and I was only teasing you like I do my other friends." and he moment those words left his lips Harry realized what he had said and it was too late.
Dobby looked up at Harry and with a trembling lower lip said "Harry Potter is calling Dobby his friend? Harry Potter is the most noble and greatest of all wizards!" and then the entrance hall was filled with the sounds of a happiest house elf alive sobbing his eyes out.
Harry looked at the witch in front of them who trying her absolute best not to burst out laughing at the scene in her school and started to introduce himself before she stopped him.
"Oh wait," she said, "'you's' must be the great and noble Harry Potter come to see about the teaching post"
"Er…" was all Harry could think to say while his lips were doing a fine impression of a gold fish in a bowl of water.
Now she was out right laughing and said "My name is Edwina Klump the headmistress of Honeychurch, please step this way Mister Potter."
* * * * *
A few minutes later Harry and Madame Klump were in her office having a cup of tea as she was looking over his application and wizarding resume. Harry wasn't sure if she was impressed or being patronizing. She began by asking him simple questions about his back ground, which he answered truthfully, but down played it thoroughly by not mentioning that he had been head boy at Hogwarts or that he had graduated second in his class from the Auror Training Academy. He did mention that he had previous experience teaching as he taught the first and second years at Hogwarts during his last year there, which did impress Madame Klump.
It wasn't until she asked for his references, that Harry began to panic for a moment. Never once had he though to bring any and started to say so when Dobby popped in and said…
"Oh I is having those for you Harry Potter sir, they's right here." and at once Dobby produced a stack of parchment from inside of his maroon jumper and handed them to Madame Klump.
"Now lets see what we have here shall we?" she said with a half smile on her face.
"Dobby?" Harry said "Where did you get those from? I haven't asked anyone to write a recommendation letters for me."
Dobby beamed "Your Hermy was giving them to Dobby before we left for the train sir. She is saying not to tell you about them until we's were here with Madame Klump."
'Hermione? What on Earth could she have been up to?' thought Harry when he suddenly heard…
"Ooooooooooh!!!!"
That was a sound Harry had only heard a woman make when he was naked and never thought he would ever hear it clothed. Then Harry realized what he was thinking and squeezed his eyes shut and started chanting 'Must not think those thoughts, must not think those thoughts now!'
"Mister Potter," said Madame Klump, "I had no idea that you were so impressive."
Again something he had only heard a woman say when he was naked. 'Must stop having these thoughts' he cried to himself. 'Please!'
"Do you know who these letters are from Mister Potter?" Madame Klump asked
"Not exactly mam'." Harry replied.
"Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Minister Amelia Bones, Garook, the chief of the Goblin Council that governs Gringott's Bank, and five different Aurors, including your teachers at the Auror Training Academy." she gasped.
"This is most impressive indeed! Two Orders of Merlin, silver and gold, it says here that you actually killed a Dementor, I didn't think they could be killed, slew a Basilisk while in Hogwarts, fought You-Know-Who countless times and finally slew him" breathed Madame Klump excitedly.
"Three actually" Harry mumbled.
"Three what Mister Potter?" she asked with some confusion on her face.
"Dementors, I actually killed three of them." said Harry sheepishly.
"Three? Really? You really are amazing Mister Potter"
"And I'm good at Quidditch too." Harry mumbled
Madame Klump's eye brows disappeared into her hair at that comment
"Really Mister Potter? Good at Quidditch you say? Did you know that since we are a small school that sometimes teachers have to double up on subjects? We are also looking for someone to teach the first years how to fly and possibly be our couch and referee for the games. I don't suppose we could talk you into doing that as well could we, Mister Potter?"
The corners of Harry's mouth perked up in excitement. 'I'm going to be able to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch at the same time?' thought Harry.
"I suppose I could give it a go and see how well I handle it." said Harry.
"Well then, why don't I get Taryn to show you around the grounds to get to know them better and you can take a look at the pitch and see if it meets with your approval while I look over a few things then."
"Taryn?" Harry asked
"Oh yes, Taryn Whitlock, he's the groundskeeper, caretaker and our teacher of Care of Magical Creatures here at the school. If there is anything about these grounds and school that he doesn't know, then it wasn't worth knowing to begin with." answered Madame Klump with a smile.
* * * * *
Soon Harry, Dobby and Hedwig were taking their tour of the castle and grounds with Taryn, who turned out to be the second oldest staff member at the school and looked to be about 100 years older than Dumbledore, but had the energy of all the Weasley boys combined. Harry could say one thing for sure, Edwina was correct; Taryn did know everything about on the tour with crystal clarity.
On the ground floor of the castle are the entrance hall, the dining hall, headmistress' office, deputy headmaster's office, the Potion teacher's lab and office, the library, the Care of Magical Creatures classroom and office, as well as a few other offices and meeting rooms. Then the tour took them to the second floor where Harry found the majority of the classrooms and offices, including the Defense Against the Dark Arts and it's adjoining office which had a marvelous view of the pitch, which Harry liked a great deal. The remainder of the castle was left for another time.
"My classroom is out on the grounds, I prefer to keep the students out in the sun as much as possible, tis good fer 'em." wheezed Taryn. Harry agreed, as he would have the first years out there learning to fly as soon as possible, if he got the job that is, which he was beginning to wonder if Edwina was fire calling every one of those supposed reference letters for confirmation, and what was Hermione thinking?
After they left the castle Taryn took Harry on a tour of the grounds which proved to be an eye opener for him. The pitch looked good from the office window, but up close it was in terrible shape. The goal posts needed replacing and field had not been kept up to his standard. Taryn explained that there hadn't been much need of it lately, as there hadn't been a decent flying teacher or Quidditch coach at the school for about four or five years. That's when Harry decided he wanted that job more than ever; he simply had to fix this, a school with no Quidditch? Why did they even bother to breathe?
Soon they were joined by a very happy looking headmistress, who was studying Harry very closely. "Well Mister Potter, what do you think of the old place?" she asked.
"Is it true that you've not had a decent Quidditch season for five years?" Harry asked with wide eyes.
"I'm afraid so Mister Potter, after Professor Delmar retired as our potions teacher and flying instructor; we've had no one to really work with the student body that was capable of it. Though Professor Sangeorge is an excellent replacement for potions, she is also doubling as our school nurse and really I couldn't ask her to do everything she is and try to squeeze in flying and Quidditch."
"School nurse and potions teacher? She must be very busy then." said Harry with a bit of a laugh.
"She's a very capable young woman, in fact she is currently our youngest staff member, that is unless…"
"Well, I was thinking of what a great challenge it would be to work this pitch back into shape and to organize a couple of teams to play on it. It would almost be worth the time and effort just to see the students enjoying an actual Quidditch game." mused Harry
"Excellent" screamed Madame Klump, "In that case I would like to offer you the position."
Harry grinned and accepted.
"Now there aren't too many of us around over the summer months, so you'll to wait to meet the other staff members when you move in at the end of August. I know, let's make it a surprise for them and not tell them at all that you're coming. That'll be something fun for the both of us. Now let's go back into my office and we can discuss a few more things you need to know before the school term starts. It's going to be bumpy road for you Mister Potter" she said with a mischievous look on her face.
"Harry" he said, "If I'm going to work here, you must call me Harry."
"In that case you must call me Edwina" she replied
Then Harry thrust out his arm for her and they walked back into the castle.
To Be Continued…
By Darkmoore
Arriving at their destination, Harry, Dobby and Hedwig made their way to the school grounds and what they found was absolutely not they had been expecting to find…
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter Two: Who's Interviewing Whom?
As Harry, Dobby and Hedwig looked at the school for the first time, they were slightly shocked. As they came into the clearing, they found the ruins of bombed out building surrounded by a crumbling wall that had barely survived World War II and the 50 some odd years of neglect in between.
"Harry Potter?" Dobby attentively asked "isn't we at the right place?"
"Yeah Dobby, I thought we were." responded Harry, although, he wasn't quite so sure himself.
However, it was then that Hedwig took flight from her master's shoulder and landed on the only piece of wall that looked like it would hold up her weight and hooted at the pair in a way that made Harry think she was mocking them by saying "What are you waiting for? Come on, let's get moving, I don't have all day."
Harry turned as Dobby tugged on his robes and said "Harry Potter sir, Dobby is thinking that your Hedwigy is making fun of us."
"I think your right Dobby, I think your right." Harry replied and then continued "We've come all this way, might as well go ahead a bit further, though if she's right, we'll never hear the end of it." Hedwig hooted in agreement.
As the pair approached Harry noticed a bell with a rope attached to it by the rusted out gate on the wall and with a grin on his face rang the bell just to see what would happen.
Suddenly a shower of gold and silver sparks flew everywhere covering the ruins, the wall and Harry and Dobby where they stood and with a great blinding light the ruins melted away as wave after wave of magic flew back like a pair curtains on an overly greased rod revealing one of the most wondrous sights Harry had every seen in his young life. There before them was a pair of the largest golden gates that Harry and Dobby had ever seen. They seemed to just sparkle invitingly in the sun light.
'Well, I guess the school isn't quite as unprotected as I once thought' thought Harry. "Well Dobby, I think we are in the right place after all, what do you think?"
"I is thinking I is seeing dark spots every place I is looking Harry Potter." Harry laughed and replied "I is thinking the same thing Dobby."
Once inside the gates, they were in the outer court yard of a small roundish castle with five towers. It was an impressive little castle, but no where near as grand as Hogwarts, but then again, nothing would ever be as grand as Hogwarts to Harry. He fell in love with that castle the moment he laid eyes on it and nothing has changed that since. Then Harry felt it…he missed Hogwarts. Maybe Hermione was right, maybe he should have taken Dumbledore up on his offer to teach there. 'No,' he thought to himself, 'I won't take charity!' So Harry and Dobby continued to walk the cobble stones up to the front entrance of the school and found the doors standing open as if waiting for him. Then again, since he was expected, he guessed maybe they were. Hedwig landed on his shoulders as they made their way inside to meet with Madame Klump.
* * * * *
"Aaaaaaaaaaaagh" screamed someone just inside the entrance hall, making Dobby pop out of sight, Hedwig to take flight and Harry's stomach to jump into his mouth. "They's a man missy, they's a man in the castle!!!" someone screamed again before Harry realized that is was a house elf.
"Er…" was all Harry could get out as the house elf went running down the hall. 'Man in the castle?' he thought, 'Is this an all-girl's school? I hadn't counted on that.' he mused.
Moments later a short elderly witch came walking from the direction the house elf went running into. Harry would have guessed her to be about 50 or 55, but with wizards and witches, you never know with their ages, she could be well over a hundred and he wouldn't have a clue. She was shorter than Harry and kind of reminded him of Professor Pomona Sprout, but with glasses.
"Now, now Fiddy, you've seen a man before. They are tall, muscular and do a lot of heavy lifting." she said and then continued while smiling "That's why we have them around."
"Nots the wiz'rd missy, I meanses him." Fiddy sqeaked while pointing at Dobby.
"Oh" she replied spying Dobby "You mean there's a male elf in the castle?" Fiddy nodded. "But we have several male elves working here already Fiddy" the woman said somewhat confused.
"Nots any that pretty missy" squeaked Fiddy as she giggled from behind her hand before popping away.
Dobby turned three shades of Weasley red on the spot, while Harry said in a sing song voice "Dobby's got a girlfriend." While Hedwig returned to her spot on Harry's shoulder and clicked approvingly.
"Harry Potter, you's is knowing Dobby is with Winky!" said the flustered elf before hiding his face in Harry's robes and continued in a muffled voice "Dobby isn't cheating on his sweety."
Harry felt bad for a moment for teasing his little friend as said "I know Dobby, I didn't mean it, and I was only teasing you like I do my other friends." and he moment those words left his lips Harry realized what he had said and it was too late.
Dobby looked up at Harry and with a trembling lower lip said "Harry Potter is calling Dobby his friend? Harry Potter is the most noble and greatest of all wizards!" and then the entrance hall was filled with the sounds of a happiest house elf alive sobbing his eyes out.
Harry looked at the witch in front of them who trying her absolute best not to burst out laughing at the scene in her school and started to introduce himself before she stopped him.
"Oh wait," she said, "'you's' must be the great and noble Harry Potter come to see about the teaching post"
"Er…" was all Harry could think to say while his lips were doing a fine impression of a gold fish in a bowl of water.
Now she was out right laughing and said "My name is Edwina Klump the headmistress of Honeychurch, please step this way Mister Potter."
* * * * *
A few minutes later Harry and Madame Klump were in her office having a cup of tea as she was looking over his application and wizarding resume. Harry wasn't sure if she was impressed or being patronizing. She began by asking him simple questions about his back ground, which he answered truthfully, but down played it thoroughly by not mentioning that he had been head boy at Hogwarts or that he had graduated second in his class from the Auror Training Academy. He did mention that he had previous experience teaching as he taught the first and second years at Hogwarts during his last year there, which did impress Madame Klump.
It wasn't until she asked for his references, that Harry began to panic for a moment. Never once had he though to bring any and started to say so when Dobby popped in and said…
"Oh I is having those for you Harry Potter sir, they's right here." and at once Dobby produced a stack of parchment from inside of his maroon jumper and handed them to Madame Klump.
"Now lets see what we have here shall we?" she said with a half smile on her face.
"Dobby?" Harry said "Where did you get those from? I haven't asked anyone to write a recommendation letters for me."
Dobby beamed "Your Hermy was giving them to Dobby before we left for the train sir. She is saying not to tell you about them until we's were here with Madame Klump."
'Hermione? What on Earth could she have been up to?' thought Harry when he suddenly heard…
"Ooooooooooh!!!!"
That was a sound Harry had only heard a woman make when he was naked and never thought he would ever hear it clothed. Then Harry realized what he was thinking and squeezed his eyes shut and started chanting 'Must not think those thoughts, must not think those thoughts now!'
"Mister Potter," said Madame Klump, "I had no idea that you were so impressive."
Again something he had only heard a woman say when he was naked. 'Must stop having these thoughts' he cried to himself. 'Please!'
"Do you know who these letters are from Mister Potter?" Madame Klump asked
"Not exactly mam'." Harry replied.
"Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Minister Amelia Bones, Garook, the chief of the Goblin Council that governs Gringott's Bank, and five different Aurors, including your teachers at the Auror Training Academy." she gasped.
"This is most impressive indeed! Two Orders of Merlin, silver and gold, it says here that you actually killed a Dementor, I didn't think they could be killed, slew a Basilisk while in Hogwarts, fought You-Know-Who countless times and finally slew him" breathed Madame Klump excitedly.
"Three actually" Harry mumbled.
"Three what Mister Potter?" she asked with some confusion on her face.
"Dementors, I actually killed three of them." said Harry sheepishly.
"Three? Really? You really are amazing Mister Potter"
"And I'm good at Quidditch too." Harry mumbled
Madame Klump's eye brows disappeared into her hair at that comment
"Really Mister Potter? Good at Quidditch you say? Did you know that since we are a small school that sometimes teachers have to double up on subjects? We are also looking for someone to teach the first years how to fly and possibly be our couch and referee for the games. I don't suppose we could talk you into doing that as well could we, Mister Potter?"
The corners of Harry's mouth perked up in excitement. 'I'm going to be able to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and Quidditch at the same time?' thought Harry.
"I suppose I could give it a go and see how well I handle it." said Harry.
"Well then, why don't I get Taryn to show you around the grounds to get to know them better and you can take a look at the pitch and see if it meets with your approval while I look over a few things then."
"Taryn?" Harry asked
"Oh yes, Taryn Whitlock, he's the groundskeeper, caretaker and our teacher of Care of Magical Creatures here at the school. If there is anything about these grounds and school that he doesn't know, then it wasn't worth knowing to begin with." answered Madame Klump with a smile.
* * * * *
Soon Harry, Dobby and Hedwig were taking their tour of the castle and grounds with Taryn, who turned out to be the second oldest staff member at the school and looked to be about 100 years older than Dumbledore, but had the energy of all the Weasley boys combined. Harry could say one thing for sure, Edwina was correct; Taryn did know everything about on the tour with crystal clarity.
On the ground floor of the castle are the entrance hall, the dining hall, headmistress' office, deputy headmaster's office, the Potion teacher's lab and office, the library, the Care of Magical Creatures classroom and office, as well as a few other offices and meeting rooms. Then the tour took them to the second floor where Harry found the majority of the classrooms and offices, including the Defense Against the Dark Arts and it's adjoining office which had a marvelous view of the pitch, which Harry liked a great deal. The remainder of the castle was left for another time.
"My classroom is out on the grounds, I prefer to keep the students out in the sun as much as possible, tis good fer 'em." wheezed Taryn. Harry agreed, as he would have the first years out there learning to fly as soon as possible, if he got the job that is, which he was beginning to wonder if Edwina was fire calling every one of those supposed reference letters for confirmation, and what was Hermione thinking?
After they left the castle Taryn took Harry on a tour of the grounds which proved to be an eye opener for him. The pitch looked good from the office window, but up close it was in terrible shape. The goal posts needed replacing and field had not been kept up to his standard. Taryn explained that there hadn't been much need of it lately, as there hadn't been a decent flying teacher or Quidditch coach at the school for about four or five years. That's when Harry decided he wanted that job more than ever; he simply had to fix this, a school with no Quidditch? Why did they even bother to breathe?
Soon they were joined by a very happy looking headmistress, who was studying Harry very closely. "Well Mister Potter, what do you think of the old place?" she asked.
"Is it true that you've not had a decent Quidditch season for five years?" Harry asked with wide eyes.
"I'm afraid so Mister Potter, after Professor Delmar retired as our potions teacher and flying instructor; we've had no one to really work with the student body that was capable of it. Though Professor Sangeorge is an excellent replacement for potions, she is also doubling as our school nurse and really I couldn't ask her to do everything she is and try to squeeze in flying and Quidditch."
"School nurse and potions teacher? She must be very busy then." said Harry with a bit of a laugh.
"She's a very capable young woman, in fact she is currently our youngest staff member, that is unless…"
"Well, I was thinking of what a great challenge it would be to work this pitch back into shape and to organize a couple of teams to play on it. It would almost be worth the time and effort just to see the students enjoying an actual Quidditch game." mused Harry
"Excellent" screamed Madame Klump, "In that case I would like to offer you the position."
Harry grinned and accepted.
"Now there aren't too many of us around over the summer months, so you'll to wait to meet the other staff members when you move in at the end of August. I know, let's make it a surprise for them and not tell them at all that you're coming. That'll be something fun for the both of us. Now let's go back into my office and we can discuss a few more things you need to know before the school term starts. It's going to be bumpy road for you Mister Potter" she said with a mischievous look on her face.
"Harry" he said, "If I'm going to work here, you must call me Harry."
"In that case you must call me Edwina" she replied
Then Harry thrust out his arm for her and they walked back into the castle.
To Be Continued…