Content: Mature subject matter, het situations, major angst.
Character/s: Chyna (Joanie Laurer), Hunter, Stephanie McMahon, mentions of Road Dogg (Brian Armstrong) & Mick Foley
Disclaimer: I own NO ONE depicted in these fics. I am not endorsed by any person, corporation, federation, promotion, etc., nor do I receive any monies for writing sick and twisted tales of their imagined goings-on. Lyrics from "It's Her Or Me" from the musical "Miss Saigon." Lyrics, quotations, etc. used without permission. No infringement or disrespect to the various artisans is intended, so please don't sue me.
Notes: A leadup to Hunter & Stephanie's RL wedding in October of 2003.
* * *
He's cheating on me. I know he is. There's no way to hide what he's up to. Not now, when I've seen the phone bills, overheard his half of phone conversations I was never meant to hear, listened to his pathetic half-assed excuses for being out so late. He's such a gifted liar, my Hunter, but this time, I can see right through his lies. I had my suspicions, don't get me wrong. I guess some part of me wanted to not see the writing on the walls. Wanted to believe he was being faithful to me, that there was nobody else he held so close to his heart as me. What a way to be proven wrong, huh?
Because I've seen her. And now I know.
It's all right
It's all right when I just imagine
There's no face, she's not real
And I can tell myself that it's all okay
All the signs were there. They must've been there all along, I guess. I didn't want to see them, didn't want to accept that I wasn't enough to keep him happy. We were supposed to be the big, bad 'power couple' after all. D-Generation X was dominating the airtime and Hunter and I were the undisputed voice of that group. Oh sure, say what you will about Shawn. He's no slouch in the attention-whore department, that much is sure. But the real power behind Hunter was always me. The stereotypical power behind the throne, to borrow a very cliched saying.
And then there was the day that Jesse slipped me a well-meaning note telling me about Hunter and Stephanie. I didn't want to believe it was true. Sure, I'm nowhere near as pretty as she is, but at least I have a brain, dammit, and rely on more than silicone and a shrieking voice to make the fans pay attention to me. How could he possibly see anything in her that he couldn't find in me? He always told me that there was more to a woman than looks alone. I could keep up with him at the gym, at the bar, in bed. There was nothing that I couldn't provide for him. At least, not until now.
But she's there
And my heart cries this isn't happening
But the truth is cold and real
And I know this storm won't go away
I really don't know if I can withstand this kind of struggle. I'll fight for what I believe is mine, sure, but what do you do when your opponent is the daughter of the man who owns the company you work for? How the hell do I win that kind of battle? Maybe he was just biding his time with me. Just waiting for something prettier and more feminine to come prancing along. Someone who wasn't afraid of him, who wanted more from him than just his fabled sexual prowess. Those women are few and far between. And all this time I thought what attracted him to me was the fact that I wasn't some fragile-looking little girl who he could break with one good sneeze. I guess I was deluding myself in the worst possible way.
I want to cry until I run out of tears. I want to run until my feet fall off. I want to hit him, hate him, hurt him, make him bleed until he begs my forgiveness for putting me through this kind of anguish. But I can't do that. Even after finding out the terrible truth, I still can't bring myself to hate him. I wish to God I could. It'd make my life a lot easier, that's for sure. But I'm just not capable of hatred. Mick always told me that the first time I fell in love, I mean really in love, it would be my downfall. Truer words were never spoken. I wish I'd taken his advice from the start and just walked away from Hunter. God, I was a clueless bimbo. And I still am, in may ways, I guess.
Now that I've seen her
There's no way to hide
She is not some fling
From long ago
Now that I've seen her
I know why he lied
And I think it was better when I didn't know
I've seen them together since getting Jesse's note. There's an electricity between them that isn't there when it's just Hunter and me. They argue and fight like cats and dogs and that's what really scares me. For that kind of animosity to be involved, there's got to be passion. And with passion comes love. And that's what I can't deny or fight. If it's her he really loves, then I don't stand a chance.
Just watching them together backstage just tears me apart, even though they aren't doing anything more than going over storylines. I know now how he feels about her and nothing will ever be the same again. I know that note from Jesse wasn't just some cruel prank, because Jesse doesn't play those kind of games. Stephanie loves Hunter and he loves her. And I wish I'd been able to stay oblivious to the whole thing.
In her eyes, in her voice
In the heat that filled the air
Part of him still lingers there
I know what pain her life today must be
But if it all comes down to her or me
I don't care, I swear
I'll fight
God, I'm such an idiot. What did I think I would accomplish by trying to talk to her? Now she sees me as a jealous harpy, probably. Which is what I am, I guess. I AM jealous. How could I not be? She has everything to offer him that I don't have, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't provide anything for him that he can't get from her in spades. How do you compete with the boss' daughter?
Oh, sure, she was all nice about it, tried to deny what's been going on between them, but a woman knows when she's being lied to. And she knows when another woman is in love with her man. There's no disguising that. So now that she knows that I know, what happens next? Do I just roll over and admit defeat or do I fight for what I know I want and deserve?
Now that I've seen her
She's more than a name
I don't hate this girl, even so
Now that I've seen her
I can't stay the same
Who's this man that I trusted
Now I have to know
I wish I could hate her, curse her, despise her for what she's done, but I don't have it in me. Maybe I've mellowed with the years. Maybe it's premature menopause. Maybe it's insanity. I don't know. All I know is that I'm terrified beyond words that she'll win. That she'll prove somehow that she's the better woman and I'll be left in the dust yet again. It's so hard to get people to accept me for who I am. Hunter was one of the few who saw me as more than just another 'butch bitch.'
And obviously I wasn't enough for him, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here overanalyzing my life, adding up all of my shortcomings.
Character/s: Chyna (Joanie Laurer), Hunter, Stephanie McMahon, mentions of Road Dogg (Brian Armstrong) & Mick Foley
Disclaimer: I own NO ONE depicted in these fics. I am not endorsed by any person, corporation, federation, promotion, etc., nor do I receive any monies for writing sick and twisted tales of their imagined goings-on. Lyrics from "It's Her Or Me" from the musical "Miss Saigon." Lyrics, quotations, etc. used without permission. No infringement or disrespect to the various artisans is intended, so please don't sue me.
Notes: A leadup to Hunter & Stephanie's RL wedding in October of 2003.
* * *
He's cheating on me. I know he is. There's no way to hide what he's up to. Not now, when I've seen the phone bills, overheard his half of phone conversations I was never meant to hear, listened to his pathetic half-assed excuses for being out so late. He's such a gifted liar, my Hunter, but this time, I can see right through his lies. I had my suspicions, don't get me wrong. I guess some part of me wanted to not see the writing on the walls. Wanted to believe he was being faithful to me, that there was nobody else he held so close to his heart as me. What a way to be proven wrong, huh?
Because I've seen her. And now I know.
It's all right
It's all right when I just imagine
There's no face, she's not real
And I can tell myself that it's all okay
All the signs were there. They must've been there all along, I guess. I didn't want to see them, didn't want to accept that I wasn't enough to keep him happy. We were supposed to be the big, bad 'power couple' after all. D-Generation X was dominating the airtime and Hunter and I were the undisputed voice of that group. Oh sure, say what you will about Shawn. He's no slouch in the attention-whore department, that much is sure. But the real power behind Hunter was always me. The stereotypical power behind the throne, to borrow a very cliched saying.
And then there was the day that Jesse slipped me a well-meaning note telling me about Hunter and Stephanie. I didn't want to believe it was true. Sure, I'm nowhere near as pretty as she is, but at least I have a brain, dammit, and rely on more than silicone and a shrieking voice to make the fans pay attention to me. How could he possibly see anything in her that he couldn't find in me? He always told me that there was more to a woman than looks alone. I could keep up with him at the gym, at the bar, in bed. There was nothing that I couldn't provide for him. At least, not until now.
But she's there
And my heart cries this isn't happening
But the truth is cold and real
And I know this storm won't go away
I really don't know if I can withstand this kind of struggle. I'll fight for what I believe is mine, sure, but what do you do when your opponent is the daughter of the man who owns the company you work for? How the hell do I win that kind of battle? Maybe he was just biding his time with me. Just waiting for something prettier and more feminine to come prancing along. Someone who wasn't afraid of him, who wanted more from him than just his fabled sexual prowess. Those women are few and far between. And all this time I thought what attracted him to me was the fact that I wasn't some fragile-looking little girl who he could break with one good sneeze. I guess I was deluding myself in the worst possible way.
I want to cry until I run out of tears. I want to run until my feet fall off. I want to hit him, hate him, hurt him, make him bleed until he begs my forgiveness for putting me through this kind of anguish. But I can't do that. Even after finding out the terrible truth, I still can't bring myself to hate him. I wish to God I could. It'd make my life a lot easier, that's for sure. But I'm just not capable of hatred. Mick always told me that the first time I fell in love, I mean really in love, it would be my downfall. Truer words were never spoken. I wish I'd taken his advice from the start and just walked away from Hunter. God, I was a clueless bimbo. And I still am, in may ways, I guess.
Now that I've seen her
There's no way to hide
She is not some fling
From long ago
Now that I've seen her
I know why he lied
And I think it was better when I didn't know
I've seen them together since getting Jesse's note. There's an electricity between them that isn't there when it's just Hunter and me. They argue and fight like cats and dogs and that's what really scares me. For that kind of animosity to be involved, there's got to be passion. And with passion comes love. And that's what I can't deny or fight. If it's her he really loves, then I don't stand a chance.
Just watching them together backstage just tears me apart, even though they aren't doing anything more than going over storylines. I know now how he feels about her and nothing will ever be the same again. I know that note from Jesse wasn't just some cruel prank, because Jesse doesn't play those kind of games. Stephanie loves Hunter and he loves her. And I wish I'd been able to stay oblivious to the whole thing.
In her eyes, in her voice
In the heat that filled the air
Part of him still lingers there
I know what pain her life today must be
But if it all comes down to her or me
I don't care, I swear
I'll fight
God, I'm such an idiot. What did I think I would accomplish by trying to talk to her? Now she sees me as a jealous harpy, probably. Which is what I am, I guess. I AM jealous. How could I not be? She has everything to offer him that I don't have, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't provide anything for him that he can't get from her in spades. How do you compete with the boss' daughter?
Oh, sure, she was all nice about it, tried to deny what's been going on between them, but a woman knows when she's being lied to. And she knows when another woman is in love with her man. There's no disguising that. So now that she knows that I know, what happens next? Do I just roll over and admit defeat or do I fight for what I know I want and deserve?
Now that I've seen her
She's more than a name
I don't hate this girl, even so
Now that I've seen her
I can't stay the same
Who's this man that I trusted
Now I have to know
I wish I could hate her, curse her, despise her for what she's done, but I don't have it in me. Maybe I've mellowed with the years. Maybe it's premature menopause. Maybe it's insanity. I don't know. All I know is that I'm terrified beyond words that she'll win. That she'll prove somehow that she's the better woman and I'll be left in the dust yet again. It's so hard to get people to accept me for who I am. Hunter was one of the few who saw me as more than just another 'butch bitch.'
And obviously I wasn't enough for him, otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here overanalyzing my life, adding up all of my shortcomings.