Chapter 24

            My nails dug into his shoulders. How was I supposed to react to this? There one moments when it was unbearably painful, and yet, moments where it unbearably pleasurable. He's sooth me in either one of those moments. To keep my big mouth from giving us both away.

            He did it as if he was experienced. He could've been, but I doubt it. He just knew how to handle me. He knew me better than anyone, after all. He was my only chance for a normal life.

            I leaned my forehead on his shoulder.

            "What's wrong?" he asked.

            "Nothing," I replied. "Nothing is wrong. I'm happy."

            "Good." He looked up at the night sky. "It's getting late. The men will start coming in from their drunkenness by now. They'll start to wander. Let's get back, alright?"

            "Sure." I stood up and went to where my things were. I put them on with ease. By now I knew exactly how to put them on. I heard him sigh behind me as he dressed "What's wrong?" I asked, putting my color contacts in. "Having regrets?"

            "Are you kidding?" he replied. "I was just thinking."

            "About what?"

            Copper shook his head. "Nothing."

            I gave him a worried look. "Are you sure?" I asked. "You looked a little disappointed."

            He chuckles. "C'mon, Rip….er…Ryu… what do I have to be disappointed about?"

            I smiled and nodded. "That's true."

            His ears perked up and my nose caught it too. "We're not alone."

            "That we aren't." I went to the bushes. "Okay punk!" I lifted the man from the tree. It was the guy from when I had first met when I arrived at the camp. The one that accused me of being homosexual.  I narrowed my eyes at him. "What did you see?"

            He kept his teeth grit and shook his head.

            "What did you see, damnit?!"

            "Enough," he snapped. "I knew something was funny about you! Oh, just you wait until Cray hears about this."

            "Eh?"

            "Oh, I'll get promoted for this." He smirked.

            "Not if you're dead."

            "Rip, you can't!"

            "Just watch me!"

            "Rip…..?" he questioned. "You mean you're Rip Raptor? So you really aren't gay."

            I sweat dropped and turned to Copper. "Nice going."

            "Oh, this I even better."

            "Do you honestly think that you're going to be alive enough to tell that bastard?" I questioned. "I don't think so. Now, that you know my secret, your death is assured." I sighed. "Cops, go on ahead."

            "Eh?"

            "It's been awhile sense I've killed someone," I said. "I don't want you to see this."

            He paused for a moment and looked at me with concerned eyes. Copper knew he couldn't change who I was. He couldn't change what I had become, and he knew that it had to be done. I also knew that he felt sorry for me. He knew I lonely I was. Was that why…?

            He was gone.

            "Did you clean up the mess?" Copper walked in my quarters and leaned against the door frame. Keensan had gone out to the showers.

            "Of course I did," I said. "There's not a shard of evidence left in that place. I also had to get rid of all the smells of sex there too."

            "Eh?"

            "What you said yourself that it's not hard to smell a female in heat," I said. "I even smelled the stench myself, and my smell isn't as well as yours. What if a canine passed by there today? He would know it was there. He would know there was male and female there. C'mon Copper please tell me that, that had occurred in you mind at least once."

            "Sorry, I was concentrating on other things." What was with the tone in his voice? He sounded angry or annoyed, and even both. What was wrong? What did I do?

            "What's with you?" I asked. "What are you mad at?"

            He just shook his head.

            "I'm not taking that for an answer Copper Ookami," I snapped. "You keep telling me to open up all the time. If that's true, then you need to as well. I want to know what you're thinking too. I want to listen to you too."

            He looked over at me. "I'm just not used to you killing yet, Rip. I've excepted the fact, only it's really hard to get used to."

            "Ryu," I correct.

            "Right, Ryu, I'm not used to it."

            "Neither am I," I said. "I'm not used to it, despite that fact that it is second nature." I looked down. "I've just learned to except that I am a killer. I was a hired assassin. I can't change that. It wouldn't be a surprise to me if I had future assassinations to carry out. I had done one before I came here."

            My mind drifted to that moment. What I had done in front of Streaks. He understood at least. I couldn't have avoided it.

            "C'mon," Copper said. "Keensan is waiting for us."

            "Copper Ookami, Copper Ookami, please report the main office. Copper Ookami, please report to the main office."

            "Hmm? I wander what Cray could want with me now?"

            "Who knows."

            "Oi, I'll meet you outside then."

            "You're getting really good," I smiled.

            "Thanks," Keensan replied. She rubbed the blood from his lip. "But you still hit me. But, with you and Copper-san helping, I could be as good as you two. I maybe even hired to do assassinations. I here it's the highest honor in the military."

            "There's no honor in killing people," I told him. "No honor at all."

            "Ryu Raptor, Ryu Raptor, please report to the main office."

            "Why would they want you?" Keensan replied.

            "Who knows," I replied. "I'll see you later on." I walked down the halls. I was coming to Cray's office. Copper had just walked out. His head was handing low and his eyes were hidden under his hair. "Cops?" I questioned. "Hey, what happened?"

            He stopped but he didn't look at me. Something had happened. "Okay, I'll let you tell me later," I said. "Big shot needs to see me now."

            "The," he replied. Then he walked past me. He sounded angry at me. Why would he be angry me?

            I walked in and gave a bow in respect. "You called for me."

            "That I did, Sindel."

            "Heh?" I looked up instantly. His sinister raptor grin and auburn eyes fixed on me.

            "Hmm, how did I know it was you?" he teases. "Well, first off, I needed an assassination done. When we called you and found you weren't with your sister, it made me go one a search for you. The second was the other day I was smelling a heat female. Today, I saw you and that wolf get a tad closer than usual. I knew for a fact that wolf was very much not homosexual, being he was so into you. I just put a it all together and figured it out. Afterall, you were so determined not to have your brother put into this force."

            "You bastard," I spat.

            He leaned back on his chair. "Now, you have done a lot of things in your past that could've gotten you killed, but this tops them all."

            "I'd like to see you try and kill me."

            "Hmm, yes, that is near impossible," he pointed out. "But it isn't when it comes to your brother."

            "Eh?"

            "Or your precious sister either. Or even her entire family. And what about your beloved wolf, the little tiger? Or, what about the dog that helped you make your identity. That underground rat and the saber as well. Better yet," he leaned close the me, "What about the freak of a little pup that grows in you?"

            No….I was helpless. Damnit why?! He had beaten me. It must've been the same thing he told Copper. What was I supposed to do. He won, and I was helpless.

            "What do I have to do?" I looked away.

            "I though you'd never ask," Cray smirked. "First off, little flower, I need you to do that assassination."

            "Consider it done."

            "And second, marry me."

            "What?"

            "You heard me," he glared. "You will marry me. Think about it. The greatest leader in Everstin history and the greatest slayer in the history of the universe, joined together in holy matrimony."

            "You're crazy."

            "Copper, Streaks, Kerry…"

            "Fine!" I yelled. "I'll do it. But, as long as it's not in a church."

            Cray smirked. "That's a good girl." He handed me a sheet of paper. "Now, here's where the target is. Make it quick."

            I looked at the paper. "Is this what it's come to?"

            "Yes, Sindel Rip Raptor," he replied. "The life of a killer can be nothing but that of a killer. This is your fate. Make the best of it and enjoy doing what you're good at."

            "On day, Cray," I said. "One day, you will be the last man I'll kill."

            "I'll be looking forward to it."

            "I bet you would." I made my way out of that room. I was looking forward for this kill. I needed something to take my frustration out on. Killing someone would be just that.

            "Hey Ryu!"

            I turned around and glared.

            "Oh, man, please don't tell me you're in a bad mood too," Keensan said. "I just tried to talk to Copper and I've never seen him so upset. I tried to ask him what was wrong but he just blew me off. Do you know anything?"

            "Don't worry about it," I said with my own voice. "It's nothing to concern kids anyway."

            "Hey what's wrong with your voice?"

            "Nothing." I kept on walking.

            "What's with you two?!" he demanded. "Jeez, I'm trying to be a good friend here, and I keep get blown off."

            I turned around and hugged. "Keensan, you are a good friend. You are a very good friend, just like Jessie was. I only wish I was there to change to the past. I only wish I hadn't sent her on that mission. I wish I was there to save her. If  I was then you wouldn't have to come here, and you wouldn't have to suffer the outcome, your sister, Copper, myself, and all the rest of us had to suffer."

            "You're….you're…you're Rip Raptor?"

            "I'm sorry, Keensan, I really am." I let him go and turned to walk away.

            "Wait, where are you going?"

            I stopped. "I'm going to what a killer is best at doing. I'm going kill. Keensan."

            "Yea?"

            "Do me a favor," I said. "When you see Copper tell him for me, that I don't know what Cray told him, but it isn't true. And, whatever happens in the future, it means nothing. Because I still love him."

            He nodded. "I'll do that."

            "See you around, Keensan."

            "Yea, see ya'."

            I walked to my quarters and there I packed myself. I took off my silly disguise. It as no use hiding it anymore. At least Streaks will be alright. As long as the outcome met my intensions then I was fine with it. But, but why did it hurt so much? Why did I feel like I was going to burst into tears at that moment? Then I a flash of golden fur crossed my door.

            "Copper!" I called. I ran in the hall. He had stopped but hadn't turned around. Just like he did earlier. It was as if he couldn't look at me. "Copper, can you believe that ass? The bastard black…"

            "Shut up."

            "What?" I was in total shock.

            "I know exactly what's happening," he said. "Your fiancé told me everything earlier. Congratulations, Sindel, I hope you have the life you so longed for."

            "Copper! I don't know what he told you but it's not true!"

            He turned and glared at me. His eyes were watery and bloodshot. "You are marrying him. That I know."

            "Like I have a choice," I said. "Don't worry, I'll ki…."

            "Just shutup Rip," he said. "I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being your entertainment when you're bored. I'm tired of you using me. It's enough Rip. It's enough! It's best that you and I never see each other ever again!" He turned and left.

            I was in shock. I stood there in complete awe. My fists clenched together and I felt rage build up inside of me. I couldn't tell him that he was wrong. I couldn't tell him that I was blackmailed. Cray…that bastard.

            I ran to his office. "What did you tell Copper?! What did you tell him you bastard!?"

            "Hey honey," Cray said. "Are you done with that job yet. Say what do think, are you willing to wear a dress for the wedding, are one of those pretty suits."

            "Cut the crap." I jumped on his desk and picked him up by the collar. "You tell me what you told Copper or I'll kill you right here and right now!"

            "Which would trigger the go ahead and have all those people love gone," he smirked. "It's best you put me down, dear."

            "Try it big boy, I dare you!" I yelled.

            "Your anger is getting to you," he said. "I only simply told him what I told you."

            "Liar!"

            "Would it matter now anyway?" he asked me. "You're not his anymore." He looked into my angry blue eyes with his red ones. They were intense yet calm. He touched my face. "Now, be a good girl and do that favor I asked of you. Please."

            He kissed me! That bastard was kissing me! How dare! I jerked away and he licked his lips. "You do taste good, dear. Run along now, I have some work I need to do."

            "There will be a day that I will kill you."

            I was back in my room. I couldn't believe how stupid and naïve I was. Sure, Streaks was safe, but I lost all chances of happiness. I lost every chance for happiness. Sure, none of this would've happened if I would've just let Streaks go on that day. But, if I did, then he would be going through the same kind of pain that I was suffering at this moment in his future. Why was I so selfless? Why couldn't one day I would worry about myself instead of someone else? Why couldn't I worry about my happiness and fulfill my happiness one day?

            "Some people aren't just meant to be happy," I told myself. I looked at my assignment. Leo? I had to assassinate Leo? Why would Cray won't the old guy dead? He wasn't bothering anybody. He was the man that shaped me into the woman I was now, though. I should want him dead as well, for causing this to me. Then again, he was always different from Cray. Leo gave us breaks in life, he did treat us like people. The only time he didn't was when we were training. Which was understandable. I always had a feeling Leo knew I as lying when I told him that I was ready. I don't think he minded though, because he knew what it would do to me. He was right. He was very much right.

            I crumpled the paper in my hand and threw it away. I had to do what I had to do though. This was for my family and friends. This was for the safety of the people I loved. I was letting myself be used so that they wouldn't be. At least, they could be happy for me. If I couldn't be happy for myself, I would have others to it for me.

            My mind drifted towards Copper as I left the camp. The poor soul he looked so heart broken. He had cried. Who knows for how long. My poor Copper. We were each others last hope. I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I had finally decided that I wasn't going to mask my feelings anymore, and I knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Everything was going to be perfect. Then, this had to happen. It as if the whole world was against me. It was as if there something out there that was playing my life as a chest board and making sure that every part of it was miserable. And they say there's a God? God, there is no God. There was no God in my life.

            I looked on ahead this was the house. I had walked all the way here. I don't even know how long it got me here, but I as here. I was going to kill someone. At least I could direct my aggravations, and depression, and self blame out on my job. I killed. That was all I was born for and that was all I was good for. I felt wet suddenly. It was raining. It seemed to always rain right before I killed. I lowered my head and walked forward.

            I opened the door to the house and walked in. There were lights on in the kitchen and the den. Someone was watching TV and someone was cooking. A woman walked from the kitchen. "Oh my!" She called out. "Are you alright, you're soaked! Leo, get some towels, there's a poor girl out here!"

            "I came for Leo," I said coldly. I could feel myself rising. "Do not get in the way old woman, or your death is inevitable as well."

            The familiar man came running into the hall. "Rip?" There was a look of confusion on his face. "What are doing here?"

            "I have to kill you," I said. I looked up at him. "You didn't fail, Leo. You did create the perfect killing machine, and here I am. Now, I have to kill you." I kept walking forward. He got in a fighting stance.

            "Rip, you're delirious," he said. "You've been out in the rain for too long."

            "No, I know exactly what I'm doing," I said. Every step I took he back up.

            "No! You leave him alone you monster!" his wife called. She was beating me on her back.

            "Leo, get your woman off me, or I'll kill her too."

            "Kisa, don't touch her, she'll do it!"

            "I can't just let her kill you! This isn't right!"

            "No," he replied. "It isn't right, and it my fault." He got in his stance again. "But don't think you're going to kill this old lion without a fight."

            We were suddenly through the roof and into the night, raining sky. I knew for a fact how skilled the man was, and I was going to play his game for a little while. After all, the longer the kill, the longer I could stay in this state immoral conflict with no emotions. The longer I could stay away from feeling my emotions.

            He charged for me. I moved to the side and his fist went by me. I was too fast, he knew that, but why was he even trying? Wouldn't it be easier to just let me kill him? "You should just let me kill you. It will painless, I promise. But, if you keep on with this you will surely die a death of suffer and pain.

            "It's worth it," he replied. I kneed him in the gut then came with my fists plummeted his back and sent him into the ground. I lowered to meet him there. He was getting back to his feet. "I know how you feel, Rip Raptor. But, you have to realize life isn't just yours to live, and it's never over. And it's always worth fighting for!"

            He charged again for me. My claws went strait into his stomach and out of his back. His head fell limp on my shoulder. "Why is that?" I asked. "Why is it, Leo? Tell me before you die."

            "Because…." he coughed up blood. "It's not yourself you should live for, but for the people in it. Live for them, fight for them, die for them." I pulled my fist from his body and let his body fall.

            "For the people in my life? For the people I love and the ones who love me?" I questioned. "Maybe you had them, Leo, but where are the people like that in my life. Sindel Rip Raptor is truly alone."

            I looked over at his crying mate in the door frame. She was embracing their daughter. She looked to be about Streaks age. I took so many lives in my life. Lives that had something worth dying for. One day, I will die, and by that time, I will find my reason to live and my reason to fight, and my reason to die.

            The wife got up quickly and ran into her home. She was going to all the police of course. There couldn't do anything though. He did say my name. They would know who I was. I met her in the house and grabbed her wrist.

            "Let go of me you monster!" she screamed.

            "It won't do you any good calling the police," I said. "I was assigned to assassin him on order of Cray. Nothing the police could do can change that. I am sorry, I truly am."

            "No you are not! I'm and calling the police!"

            "Please don't," I said. "If you do that, and they come, I'll have to kill them. I am tired of killing, even if it's the only thing I'm good for. I don't want to destroy any more lives."

            "Then why did you kill my husband you witch!?"

            "You would do the same thing," I said. "If it was my brother you were to kill in order to keep your husband alive."

            She turned and looked at me.

            "I'm sorry," I said. I looked up at the hole in the ceiling. "I'll make sure that this is repaired, and that your husband has a proper burial."

            She fell to her knees and wailed some more. I couldn't stay there anymore. I left that house. I had to go somewhere for awhile and think. I couldn't go to my sister's home. She'd never understand. She never understood. I knew I couldn't go to Copper. Oh, how I wanted to though. How I wanted to be held by him at that moment. I wanted to hear those soothing words and feel is warmth. It was all gone though. I sat down at the base of a tree. Broken and beaten there I sat in the rain. I wanted to stall as long as I could. I didn't really want to stand to Cray's antics at the moment. If only…

            "Rip?"

            I looked up.

            "Jeezu, bash girl, is that you?"

            "Rat Trap?"

            "Who, it is you! How you been….?" He looked lower at me. "You look like you've been to hell."

            "I have," I replied. "And back again."

            "Well, c'mon get up. I'm not going to let you stay in the rain," he said. "You can get sick. C'mon, let's go to my place."

            I nodded and got to my feet.