Disclaimer: Don't own Beast wars, I own a multiple personality that is
Cheetor, but if anything think _I_ should be the one suing for that one. ^-
^ But anyway.
Nothing else from me most was explained in the first chapter. Oh, btw, I don't have a beta reader, so please, try to ignore any stupid mistakes you come across, I checked this one as best as I could, but you know how it is, you don't notice mistakes until 3 months later.-_-;
Part 1, Chapter 2 - Cheetor's POV
~ So here's your holiday, hope you, enjoy it this time, you gave it all away. It was mine, so when you're dead and gone, will you remember this night, 20 years now lost, it's not right ~
This is all a load of slag and I know it. I don't want to leave everyone behind, and no matter how much I might agree to do this, and try to encourage it, in reality, this is the last thing I want. It may sound stupid, but some of the best times in my life were spent with these bots, and having never had a real family, I grew to look at them as one. But when I really look at it, maybe it is better this way. I mean Blackarachnia and Silverbolt really do need to get away from each other before they end up killing each other, mentally or physically. And what it's doing to Nightscream can't be good for him either, but then, it's his own fault for throwing himself in the middle. Yes, as leader, I am the one who originally came up with this plan, looking desperately for some way to stop all the bickering, but I didn't mean we had to leave each other forever, it was them that came up with that one. I had called a meeting and suggested a vacation, not a separation. But, again, as leader, I guess I am obliged to give my people what they want. What I want really doesn't matter. Its time to grow up and deal with things on my own I guess.
Finally taking my gaze off the floor, I face the others and begin to speak. "Alright, I guess this is it... Funny, before I got here I had a million things to say, and now I have nothing. So are you guys really willing to go through with this? I mean, this really is it, once we leave here, there's no turning back. There's millions of bots on Cybertron, and the chances of us ever seeing each other again are slim to nil, so I just want to make sure you guys are serious about this." Waiting for replies, all I get are a bunch of solemn nods, and one screaming "This is a load of scrap, why in the inferno are we doing this?" from an irate Nightscream. He's the only one that's totally against the idea, well the only one who openly shows it. I'm sure we all have our doubts, but it seems that everyone agrees it will be better.
Going back to staring at the floor, I try to ignore Nightscream's random ranting and raving, and the spectacle Legs and Silverbolt are making. Can't they even stop fighting long enough to say goodbye? I mean for Primus sake, this isn't the time nor the place. Oh, they're walking off alone to the other side of the orchard. A goodbye screw maybe? Or are they finally going to kill each other? And if that little loudmouth bat doesn't shut up, he's going to be hanging from one of those trees. And what the hell is Rattrap's problem? He hasn't said a damn thing, all he's been doing is glaring at me every so often, and driving around in circles. And why is Botanica even here? She doesn't care, she was leaving anyway. She insists she was never one of us. More like never wanted to be one of us. Too good for that I suppose. Alright, I know I don't mean any of this, I'm just angry... Everyone thinks I've grown up so much, and that I'm not that childish little bot anymore, but I am. I really am. I only act like this because I'm scared. You know how parents get a divorce and the kid lashes out and gets into drugs and gets everything pierced they possibly can, and start acting like an asshole? Well that's what I'm doing. And they don't do it just to be an asshole, they do it because they're scared out of their minds at what's happening to their lives and the lack of control they have over it, so they lash out, hoping to forget or cause a big enough problem that everything will fall back into place. Sure, it never works, but its what your mind tells you to do. That, or go hide in a corner for the rest of eternity, and I think I tried that and it only made me feel worse. We're all screwed up, and we always will be. I really don't think this is going to make any difference or solve and mental problems, but its been decided. It ends here, and I think this is bigger than all of us, and there's nothing we can do.
All right, time to say goodbye. Blackarachnia and Silverbolt came back... hmm, they weren't gone very long. Oh well. I guess I should start with Rattrap. He seems to hate me already, so I guess nothing I say now can screw thing up any more. Walking over to him, I try my best to smile at him, and start speaking. "Hey... uh, I guess I just want say thank you, I mean for putting up with me for all this time, you were there from the beginning and you always looked out for me in your own way. So uh, yah, thanks." He just smiled back at me, as much as he possibly could in a situation like this, and nodded.
"No problem spots. Ya needed lookin out for, and I guess in some stupid way I just liked you. Well, I'm gonna miss ya, but you just go out there and get yer self some good lookin dame with a good looking chest plate, and have lotsa babies eh? And make sure you name one after me." Winking, he slapped me on the back and started to roll away. "Well have a good life kiddo, and nice to know you."
Nodding and blinking slightly at his comments, I smiled then shook my head. Some things never change. "Yah I'll make sure to do that, and same to you." Walking away from the spot we were standing, I headed over in the direction of Nightscream. Sure, he's just hanging upside down in a tree grumbling now. Standing in front of him, I sigh then wave a hand in front of his face. "Hey, you there bat-boy?"
"What does it look like. You're talking to me aren't you?"
"Oh come on, drop the slagging attitude. I know you don't like this idea, but its better this way. And besides, weren't you the one who never seemed to like us in the first place? A kid your age should be happy to go back to a normal life. Go back to school, make something of yourself, get some normal friends without mental problems. You're a smart kid, you deserve better than this crap."
He stared at me, and I guess my little speech and thrown him off guard, because he just hung there for a minute, looking confused, and then hopped down and transformed, looking at me. "Look Cheetor, I may have acted like I hated you guys, but I don't, and you know I don't. I don't want to lose you, we've been through too much together, no one else will ever understand me. And what about them?" He nodded to Silverbolt and Blackarachnia. "I worry about them, as much as they may fight, I know they love each other, they just need a little time. That's all any of us need, a little time and everything will be fine."
"Hey, I almost agree with you there, a little time might just do it, but then it might not, it might just make things worse. I'm sorry, but it's been decided, and there's no going back now. You'll be okay. Don't worry. You'll make something of yourself and forget all about us. Hey, but enough mature sounding babble from me, go and talk to the others, say goodbye, I have to do the same myself." Patting him on the head, I walked away, not really waiting for a reply. I would have liked to have stayed and talked longer, but how was I suppose to convince someone of something I didn't really believe myself? I have no idea what was going to become of me after this day, and to be honest, I'm scared to death I'm going to completely fail.
Walking over to Botanica, we exchange quick good-byes and go our separate ways. I didn't really have much to say to her, pleasure serving with you, take care, goodbye, gone. Never knew her very well, and she seemed like a second in the timeline of the last Primus knows how many years. So that wasn't every elaborate or emotional, more like saying goodbye to your 11th grade math teacher who should have failed you, but decided to be nice and squeeze you past. Now, it was time for the hard one.
Walking up to Silverbolt and Blackarachnia, I stare at the ground for a minute, not knowing what to say at all. I still had feeling for Blackarachnia, and no matter what anyone said, it was not a mere stupid crush, I truly cared about her. A lot. I want to tell her, I want to say so many things, I want to take her and run away with her, but I knew I couldn't. She doesn't feel the same, and never will, and I mean, we are suppose to be leaving each other so what's the point now? Its really awkward trying to say anything in front of Silverbolt, who despite their obvious break up or whatever, still acts like a slagging Doberman, and is breathing down my neck. All right, I'll be nice to him, say goodbye to him first, then maybe he'll back down. Holding out my hand, I wait for him to accept the gesture and then shake his hand. "Hey, g'bye 'Bolt. I know I put you though a lot of crap without meaning too, and I know we never really got along at all, but I'll miss you anyway. Was an honor serving with you and all that, and it was good to know you. Nice to know there are some people who are just pure good out there, even if you try to deny it now."
He just stood there, staring at me, then nodded, and let go of my head. "And the same goes for me, It is unfortunate due to the circumstances we never got to know each other better, and you two will be missed."
Yah we never got to know each other better cause you tried to kill me with mental daggers every time I walked into the same room as Legs. Deciding to let my stupid resentments and petty jealousy go before I said something stupid and got pounded, I turn to Blackarachnia and smile weakly. "Uh... Bye Legs. I'm gonna miss you..." Oh great, just slagging great, I'm getting all choked up and crap now, and I'm gonna start bawling like a baby. That's just what I need, then 'Bolt can laugh at me. I stutter like an idiot for a few seconds, trying to come out with something, but the words weren't there, and even if they were I don't think I could speak anyway. Seeing my obvious sudden speech disorder, she does the weirdest, most out of character thing, and the last thing I ever seen coming. She walks up closer to me, and just hugs me. My optics went wider than I knew was physically possible at that point, and I just stood there, totally dumbfounded.
"Hey kid, its okay, I know what you're trying to say, and you don't have too. And as for the way you feel, I know, you don't have to regret never telling me, because I know. Its okay, and hey, if things were a little different, maybe I'd give you a chance. Hey, I'll even go one step further if I makes you feel any better, I mean you look like your going to go offline any minute. If we ever happen to find each other again, and we're both available, I'll give you a chance." She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek, then backed away, turned and wandered off towards the trees.
Standing there for sometime, I don't know just how long, I just stare strait ahead and try to fight what I know is coming. Finally, I can't take anymore, and I transform to beast mode and run out of the orchards, full speed, not looking back. I can never look back. I've left now. Its over, they're all gone, ghosts and figments who will haunt me forever. But I can't look back. Tears are pouring down my face now as I twist and turn around corners, not slowing down even though my vision is blurred. Maybe if I run fast enough I can run away from the pain. This is too much, I wasn't suppose to be this bad, and she wasn't suppose to say something like that. She was suppose to reject me, not give me the idea that if I wanted to go back and take her away she might just let me... Maybe I... NO! I can't go back! I can't! I have to be strong. It hurts now, but I have an eternity to deal with it and hope it goes numb.
~~ Fin. Yah okay, that was weird, I kinda like the way it went tho. Well hopefully my lovely muse, whoever that may be, sticks around and the evil writers block monster stays way. Review people, flame if you like, but try to be creative about it okay? And even if I get no good reviews and all flames, I still intend to continue, cause just ONCE I'd like to at least get halfway through a series before I either lose interest, forget where it was going, or get so side tracked I forget about it until a year later and have no idea what is about anymore. ^^ thanks for reading.
Nothing else from me most was explained in the first chapter. Oh, btw, I don't have a beta reader, so please, try to ignore any stupid mistakes you come across, I checked this one as best as I could, but you know how it is, you don't notice mistakes until 3 months later.-_-;
Part 1, Chapter 2 - Cheetor's POV
~ So here's your holiday, hope you, enjoy it this time, you gave it all away. It was mine, so when you're dead and gone, will you remember this night, 20 years now lost, it's not right ~
This is all a load of slag and I know it. I don't want to leave everyone behind, and no matter how much I might agree to do this, and try to encourage it, in reality, this is the last thing I want. It may sound stupid, but some of the best times in my life were spent with these bots, and having never had a real family, I grew to look at them as one. But when I really look at it, maybe it is better this way. I mean Blackarachnia and Silverbolt really do need to get away from each other before they end up killing each other, mentally or physically. And what it's doing to Nightscream can't be good for him either, but then, it's his own fault for throwing himself in the middle. Yes, as leader, I am the one who originally came up with this plan, looking desperately for some way to stop all the bickering, but I didn't mean we had to leave each other forever, it was them that came up with that one. I had called a meeting and suggested a vacation, not a separation. But, again, as leader, I guess I am obliged to give my people what they want. What I want really doesn't matter. Its time to grow up and deal with things on my own I guess.
Finally taking my gaze off the floor, I face the others and begin to speak. "Alright, I guess this is it... Funny, before I got here I had a million things to say, and now I have nothing. So are you guys really willing to go through with this? I mean, this really is it, once we leave here, there's no turning back. There's millions of bots on Cybertron, and the chances of us ever seeing each other again are slim to nil, so I just want to make sure you guys are serious about this." Waiting for replies, all I get are a bunch of solemn nods, and one screaming "This is a load of scrap, why in the inferno are we doing this?" from an irate Nightscream. He's the only one that's totally against the idea, well the only one who openly shows it. I'm sure we all have our doubts, but it seems that everyone agrees it will be better.
Going back to staring at the floor, I try to ignore Nightscream's random ranting and raving, and the spectacle Legs and Silverbolt are making. Can't they even stop fighting long enough to say goodbye? I mean for Primus sake, this isn't the time nor the place. Oh, they're walking off alone to the other side of the orchard. A goodbye screw maybe? Or are they finally going to kill each other? And if that little loudmouth bat doesn't shut up, he's going to be hanging from one of those trees. And what the hell is Rattrap's problem? He hasn't said a damn thing, all he's been doing is glaring at me every so often, and driving around in circles. And why is Botanica even here? She doesn't care, she was leaving anyway. She insists she was never one of us. More like never wanted to be one of us. Too good for that I suppose. Alright, I know I don't mean any of this, I'm just angry... Everyone thinks I've grown up so much, and that I'm not that childish little bot anymore, but I am. I really am. I only act like this because I'm scared. You know how parents get a divorce and the kid lashes out and gets into drugs and gets everything pierced they possibly can, and start acting like an asshole? Well that's what I'm doing. And they don't do it just to be an asshole, they do it because they're scared out of their minds at what's happening to their lives and the lack of control they have over it, so they lash out, hoping to forget or cause a big enough problem that everything will fall back into place. Sure, it never works, but its what your mind tells you to do. That, or go hide in a corner for the rest of eternity, and I think I tried that and it only made me feel worse. We're all screwed up, and we always will be. I really don't think this is going to make any difference or solve and mental problems, but its been decided. It ends here, and I think this is bigger than all of us, and there's nothing we can do.
All right, time to say goodbye. Blackarachnia and Silverbolt came back... hmm, they weren't gone very long. Oh well. I guess I should start with Rattrap. He seems to hate me already, so I guess nothing I say now can screw thing up any more. Walking over to him, I try my best to smile at him, and start speaking. "Hey... uh, I guess I just want say thank you, I mean for putting up with me for all this time, you were there from the beginning and you always looked out for me in your own way. So uh, yah, thanks." He just smiled back at me, as much as he possibly could in a situation like this, and nodded.
"No problem spots. Ya needed lookin out for, and I guess in some stupid way I just liked you. Well, I'm gonna miss ya, but you just go out there and get yer self some good lookin dame with a good looking chest plate, and have lotsa babies eh? And make sure you name one after me." Winking, he slapped me on the back and started to roll away. "Well have a good life kiddo, and nice to know you."
Nodding and blinking slightly at his comments, I smiled then shook my head. Some things never change. "Yah I'll make sure to do that, and same to you." Walking away from the spot we were standing, I headed over in the direction of Nightscream. Sure, he's just hanging upside down in a tree grumbling now. Standing in front of him, I sigh then wave a hand in front of his face. "Hey, you there bat-boy?"
"What does it look like. You're talking to me aren't you?"
"Oh come on, drop the slagging attitude. I know you don't like this idea, but its better this way. And besides, weren't you the one who never seemed to like us in the first place? A kid your age should be happy to go back to a normal life. Go back to school, make something of yourself, get some normal friends without mental problems. You're a smart kid, you deserve better than this crap."
He stared at me, and I guess my little speech and thrown him off guard, because he just hung there for a minute, looking confused, and then hopped down and transformed, looking at me. "Look Cheetor, I may have acted like I hated you guys, but I don't, and you know I don't. I don't want to lose you, we've been through too much together, no one else will ever understand me. And what about them?" He nodded to Silverbolt and Blackarachnia. "I worry about them, as much as they may fight, I know they love each other, they just need a little time. That's all any of us need, a little time and everything will be fine."
"Hey, I almost agree with you there, a little time might just do it, but then it might not, it might just make things worse. I'm sorry, but it's been decided, and there's no going back now. You'll be okay. Don't worry. You'll make something of yourself and forget all about us. Hey, but enough mature sounding babble from me, go and talk to the others, say goodbye, I have to do the same myself." Patting him on the head, I walked away, not really waiting for a reply. I would have liked to have stayed and talked longer, but how was I suppose to convince someone of something I didn't really believe myself? I have no idea what was going to become of me after this day, and to be honest, I'm scared to death I'm going to completely fail.
Walking over to Botanica, we exchange quick good-byes and go our separate ways. I didn't really have much to say to her, pleasure serving with you, take care, goodbye, gone. Never knew her very well, and she seemed like a second in the timeline of the last Primus knows how many years. So that wasn't every elaborate or emotional, more like saying goodbye to your 11th grade math teacher who should have failed you, but decided to be nice and squeeze you past. Now, it was time for the hard one.
Walking up to Silverbolt and Blackarachnia, I stare at the ground for a minute, not knowing what to say at all. I still had feeling for Blackarachnia, and no matter what anyone said, it was not a mere stupid crush, I truly cared about her. A lot. I want to tell her, I want to say so many things, I want to take her and run away with her, but I knew I couldn't. She doesn't feel the same, and never will, and I mean, we are suppose to be leaving each other so what's the point now? Its really awkward trying to say anything in front of Silverbolt, who despite their obvious break up or whatever, still acts like a slagging Doberman, and is breathing down my neck. All right, I'll be nice to him, say goodbye to him first, then maybe he'll back down. Holding out my hand, I wait for him to accept the gesture and then shake his hand. "Hey, g'bye 'Bolt. I know I put you though a lot of crap without meaning too, and I know we never really got along at all, but I'll miss you anyway. Was an honor serving with you and all that, and it was good to know you. Nice to know there are some people who are just pure good out there, even if you try to deny it now."
He just stood there, staring at me, then nodded, and let go of my head. "And the same goes for me, It is unfortunate due to the circumstances we never got to know each other better, and you two will be missed."
Yah we never got to know each other better cause you tried to kill me with mental daggers every time I walked into the same room as Legs. Deciding to let my stupid resentments and petty jealousy go before I said something stupid and got pounded, I turn to Blackarachnia and smile weakly. "Uh... Bye Legs. I'm gonna miss you..." Oh great, just slagging great, I'm getting all choked up and crap now, and I'm gonna start bawling like a baby. That's just what I need, then 'Bolt can laugh at me. I stutter like an idiot for a few seconds, trying to come out with something, but the words weren't there, and even if they were I don't think I could speak anyway. Seeing my obvious sudden speech disorder, she does the weirdest, most out of character thing, and the last thing I ever seen coming. She walks up closer to me, and just hugs me. My optics went wider than I knew was physically possible at that point, and I just stood there, totally dumbfounded.
"Hey kid, its okay, I know what you're trying to say, and you don't have too. And as for the way you feel, I know, you don't have to regret never telling me, because I know. Its okay, and hey, if things were a little different, maybe I'd give you a chance. Hey, I'll even go one step further if I makes you feel any better, I mean you look like your going to go offline any minute. If we ever happen to find each other again, and we're both available, I'll give you a chance." She leaned up and kissed me on the cheek, then backed away, turned and wandered off towards the trees.
Standing there for sometime, I don't know just how long, I just stare strait ahead and try to fight what I know is coming. Finally, I can't take anymore, and I transform to beast mode and run out of the orchards, full speed, not looking back. I can never look back. I've left now. Its over, they're all gone, ghosts and figments who will haunt me forever. But I can't look back. Tears are pouring down my face now as I twist and turn around corners, not slowing down even though my vision is blurred. Maybe if I run fast enough I can run away from the pain. This is too much, I wasn't suppose to be this bad, and she wasn't suppose to say something like that. She was suppose to reject me, not give me the idea that if I wanted to go back and take her away she might just let me... Maybe I... NO! I can't go back! I can't! I have to be strong. It hurts now, but I have an eternity to deal with it and hope it goes numb.
~~ Fin. Yah okay, that was weird, I kinda like the way it went tho. Well hopefully my lovely muse, whoever that may be, sticks around and the evil writers block monster stays way. Review people, flame if you like, but try to be creative about it okay? And even if I get no good reviews and all flames, I still intend to continue, cause just ONCE I'd like to at least get halfway through a series before I either lose interest, forget where it was going, or get so side tracked I forget about it until a year later and have no idea what is about anymore. ^^ thanks for reading.